Giovanni's Wife - Anna's story

by Caffeina

Written back in 1999, after a brainstorming session with a friend. I don't remember how this was put together, but it had something to do with trying to paint both sides of a picture, one of Giovanni as the brutal mob boss finding he had a human side. This story is first, and from his wife's point of view. Apologies for any grammar/spelling, this is as I wrote it back then.

This was written back in 1999, late at night after a brainstorming session with a friend. I don't remember how this was put together, but it had something to do with trying to paint both sides of a picture, one of Giovanni as the ruthless mob boss, but that he had a human side. This story is first, and from his wife's point of view. Apologies for any grammar/spelling, this is as I wrote it many years ago.

The only sound in the room came from her shuddering breaths. He had stopped in mid-strike. It was the sudden realization of what she had just said as well as what he was about to do to her. He took a deep breath, blinked, and glanced quickly around the room. The four people seated in front of his desk were wide-eyed and stunned. The two guards that had come in made no move; even Persian was stock still. He looked down at his wife, her eyes pinned on him, pleading. She was trembling, tears falling silently. His hand was wrapped tightly in her hair, holding her head back, arching her back painfully. She had come in to tell him she would not be going with him to the dinner they were to be at that night. He had risen, walking over to her, telling her she needed to be there with him. She had said again quietly that she was not going. He had looked at her strangely then, and had leaned over, staring into her glassy eyes. His patience had been sorely tested by the failure of the four people seated before his desk, and her interruption had not helped. He had made one more comment and she almost appeared to visibly sway, her skin ashen in color. "I do not want to go…" She gave no other reason, and in one fluid motion his fist had slammed into the glass curio next to her, showering glass upon the floor and into her hair. She had cried out and made a motion to run. His other hand had snaked out, wrapping into her hair and forcibly pushing her to her knees upon the glass. She had never seen the look in his eyes that she saw now and she began to plead with him, "Giovanni, I'm so sorry….please….I don't feel well…" She saw his arm going back to hit her and her voice cracked, her arms thrown out, trying to wrench free of his grasp. "Please…you don't understand….I'm pregnant…" Her voice ended in a sob and he stopped. His eyes were fixed on hers and he dropped his arm, slowly realizing the magnitude of the situation, and what he had almost done. He released his grip on her hair and she collapsed onto the floor, glass digging into her arms. After a moment, he walked past her and from the room, with not a word to anyone.

Anna slipped as she was trying to climb from the glass, crying out as she only made her wounds worse. The four seated moved to help her as soon as he had passed through the door. James and Jessie, two of the highest ranked in the consortium, lifted her gently. Jessie began to pull the glass from her hair. Anna was exhausted. "Can you walk okay?" She looked at her, nodded slightly, and promptly passed out.

Anna woke groggily to find Dr. Wiinderz stitching a cut in her knee. She felt fuzzy from the painkillers he had given her. She moved to sit up and he moved to help her, smiling gently at her. "How are you feeling, Anna?" He had always been kind to her. She figured he felt sorry for her. It wasn't common that Giovanni hurt her bad enough to cause her to see the doctor, but when he did, it wasn't a cut or two. This time is was sixty or so stitches over her arms and legs, as well as a strained muscle in her back from being forcibly bent back. The time before had been a dislocated jaw and a broken nose. It was the one and only time she had ever exerted any force in her defiance. He had said something to her, and for the life of her, she could not longer remember what had caused the whole thing. She had turned and said something sarcastic. He had hauled off and backhanded her with such force that she had hit the wall behind her, face first. The sickening crack and the blood on the wall as she slid down it was only thing she remembered from that. Fortunately, she was not left with any scars or marks, but she did not disagree with him anymore. This time, she had hoped he wouldn't care, for she truly did not feel well, and she had not meant to blurt out what she did. Dr. Wiinderz handed her a glass of water and backed away, letting her sit up. He sat down next to her head, checking her eyes. He patted her hand and smiled sadly. "You'll heal in a week or so. The stitches will just dissolve." He paused and nodded. "The baby is fine, too." She nodded and dropped her head, looking at her slowly rounding stomach. She had come to him nearly two and a half months ago, complaining of constant nausea. After his tests, he had told her she was nearly eight weeks pregnant, making her four and a half months now. "But you need to rest, Anna. You are more than exhausted and you need to stay inside more, and not roam the forests as I know you do." She sighed slightly and nodded. She bit down on her lip and looked up at him, moving to stand. "I accidentally told him." Dr. Wiinderz offered her a hand and helped her off of the table. "How did he take it?" She stopped for a moment, as if in thought, and then started for the door. "He walked away." She thanked him and he watched her leave, saying a silent prayer for her.

Part TWO

Anna's eyes flew open at the sound of the slamming door. She rolled over and sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes. Giovanni was shrugging his suitcoat off and dropped it onto a chair, and she caught a glimpse of Persian as he disappeared behind a chair. She watched Giovanni move about the room, and stop by the window, looking out at the heavily falling snow. After a moment, she heard his voice, cold and emotionless. "Why didn't you tell me before now?" Fear raced through her. "I just found out." He had just returned from talking to Dr. Wiinderz, so her lying did nothing for his current dark mood. He turned and looked at her. She could not see his face clearly from the dim light. "Why didn't you tell me?" She heard the anger building in his voice, and the power behind it, and she was frozen. "I was going to." He tucked his hands in his pockets and began to walk slowly toward her. "When?" He watched her bite her lip, fumbling for some safety. "I don't know." It was the first truth that came from her mouth. He was closing the space between them and she felt the anxiety gnawing visciously at her. "I'll ask you again, when were you going to tell me?" A visible shudder passed through her and he saw her hands shaking. Her voice was a frightened whisper. "Soon." The distance was closed quickly as he lunged forward, grasping her neck and holding her that her gaze met his own. "What is your definition of soon?!" His voice was a terrible growl of rage. "You have known for nearly three months that you are pregnant. Hell, you are what? Four and a half now?!" She would not meet his eyes and she felt his fingers tighten. "Answer me!" Her voice cracked. "Yes…" She glanced up to see his eyes burning at her, and she felt so small. "You have said nothing to me! You have said nothing until today of being ill; nothing! When were you going to tell me?! When the child was born?! Were you going to hide from me for the next four and a half months?!" The simple whispered words she said next made him grind his teeth in an attempt not to strangle her. "You hadn't noticed this far." He jerked her head hard, and his voice raised. "Smartass bitch! What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you not tell me?!" She was crying, and her voice was a small whisper. "Because I am afraid of you…." Her eyes opened and he could see the mingled pain and terror in her eyes. He released her, fearing his lack of patience would lead him where he had almost been in thrashing her earlier that day. She cried quietly, her head buried in her hands. She finally looked up at him, and shook her head. There was a wealth of pain in her face. "I'm so afraid of you…" She paused, hiccoughing and sniffling. She wiped at her eyes, looking quite a mess. "I'm so afraid of you…..I can't even tell you that I'm sick…..or that you're going to be a father…You never noticed that I've been sick every morning….." She trailed off, and he couldn't hear what she said after that. What she had said was enough. He dropped his eyes and ran a hand through his hair as a sickening realization began to take hold of him. He sat down on the edge of the bed and regarded her. He had married her over nine years ago, and she had never strayed from his side or wavered in her support. But in the last two, their marriage had deteriorated badly, and he knew it was entirely his fault. All of his power and influence had corrupted his relationship with her. He had neglected her terribly and his cruelty and dark moods made her terrified of him now. She looked so tired and drained when she opened her eyes and began to crawl from the bed. She stumbled to the bathroom, and he winced when he heard her gagging painfully. There was nothing left for her to vomit, as she ate so little nowadays. A guilted compassion stirred deep within him and he followed after her, finding her kneeling on the floor, holding a towel to her mouth. He took the towel and wet it, kneeling next to her. She closed her eyes as he placed the towel against her forehead. He could feel the heat radiating from her and she began to cry again. He picked her up and carried her back to the bed, laying down with her that she lay with her head on his legs. The next half hour passed with him massaging her back and head, which seemed to calm her. Her crying slowly ceased and she drifted to sleep. "My little sunflower," he murmured. He watched her sleep, her eyelids fluttering from time to time. He murmured his love to her , silently wishing he would find the words to tell her while she was awake, his eyes slowly falling closed as the night waned.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice was very soft, and Anna jerked her head up. Jessie approached and smiled. There were only four people besides his wife that Giovanni allowed to have horses here; Jessie and her partner were two of them. Anna nodded slightly. "Thank you for helping me." Anna had only met Jessie and James a couple of times, but they had always been very kind to her, regardless that she was their boss's wife. Jessie nodded, and shoved her hands in her pocket while Anna went back to brushing Ceili. Jessie was silent for a moment, and then spoke softly. "Is he always like that to you?" For a time, Anna made no motion that she heard her, and then she stopped in mid-stroke and closed her eyes. "He didn't used to be." She paused, and then opened her eyes, continuing her task. "He used to be a very good man…" She trailed off and Jessie heard her sniffle. "I'm sorry." Anna shrugged slightly and looked over at her, forcibly smiling. "For what? You aren't his wife." Jessie sat down on a crate next to her. "Why did you marry him?…..I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that." Anna dropped the brush into the box next to her and shook her head. "I married him because I loved him…..I still do, but things have changed. I married him because he was a good man, and maybe somewhere, he still is, but…." She looked as if she were going to cry and she brought her head up to look down the aisle. "I fear him now…like everyone else." Anna visibly shuddered and looked down at Jessie. "You're very lucky with James….don't let this place change either of you….this place makes you cold and desolate…." She stopped and placed her hands on her rounding stomach. Jessie looked at her stomach. "What about your child?" Anna shook her head before Jessie could continue, turning to let Ceili back into her stall. "Our child, be it boy or girl, will grow up in his image. I have no control over that. Our child will become him; and I wish that on no one. Our child is destined to be cold and calculating, and I will hide, as I have always done, far away, praying for the cold or something to take me." She said this almost more of a statement to herself than to Jessie, and Jessie watched the tears slip down her face. "Oh Anna…I hope you have a nice Christmas, at least." Anna nodded slightly, it was only the beginning of October. Anna shook slightly, letting out a shuddering breath. She looked up to say something and stopped. Jessie followed her gaze and moved quickly away. Giovanni stood at the end of the aisle, his hands tucked in his pockets. Anna froze and Jessie hurriedly bid her good-bye, running to the other aisle. Giovanni slowly closed the distance between himself and Anna and looked down at her. He felt no anger toward her; he was slowly beginning to understand the depth of what he had done to her. He lifted her chin with two gloved fingers and she looked obediently at him. "We're going back to the house." She gave him no argument when he placed a hand at the small of her back and turned her toward the doors of the stable.

PART THREE

She went obediently, and did not look at him until his hand left her back and he closed the bedroom door. He walked past her and dropped down into the chair by the window, turning back to look at her. He leaned his head back against the chair and sighed softly. She stepped slowly to the edge of the bed and placed a hand on the footboard of the bed. He watched her. Her hair fell around her shoulders and draped down to her waist. His eyes travelled down and stared at the growing tightness around her stomach. Not quite enough to warrant a change in her wardrobe, but soon. He closed his eyes and rubbed them hard. "Anna, come here." She jumped slightly at his voice but went to him. He slid an arm around her waist and pulled her down to his lap. He hardened at the way she sat. Many years ago, she would have melted into his arms; now she sat poker straight, staring at her lap. "Anna." She looked up at him and bit down on her lip. Save for her own terror, she would never be tired of looking at him. His piercing blue eyes lent to the immense intelligence he possessed. He always looked perfect, in some eight thousand dollar suit, that he wore as if it were perfectly natural. This time it was a dark grey, with a golden chain at the waist of the vest. His hair was slightly astray, from his running his hands through it. He traced the contour of one high cheekbone, and ran a finger down her neck, admiring the ivory skin, wishing things to be different; wishing he hadn't been such a bastard to her. She shivered, more from the chill of the room than his touch, but he noticed it the same. A glance outside and he knew there would be no sun that day. The sky was the faded grey it always was when it would snow the entire day. He leaned back and lowered his eyes, looking past her. "Anna." She looked over at him with clouded eyes. "I'm so sorry." Words that she would have never thought she would hear from his lips, she stared at him. He finally looked up at her, and met her eyes. "I really am." He took a shuddering breath and touched her lips. "I am so sorry for what I've done to you." In his thirty years, he had never said he was sorry to anyone for anything. But then, not much had ever mattered to him. He looked into her eyes and shook his head slightly, forcing a small smile. "I knew I had hurt you and I never paid attention to it. But I never meant to do it to you." She said nothing; she was trying to make sense of this. He looked away to the window. His voice left him and she heard him whisper, "Of all things in this world and my life, nothing ever mattered but you. I have loved you since I have met you, and I always will…..and I am so sorry for what I have done to you in the last couple of years." He continued to stare at the window until he heard her soft sniffling. She was crying silent tears down her ivory cheeks. He sighed softly and reached up, wiping at them. His other hand went to her stomach, almost reverantly. "I don't want the child to be like me…." He looked up in her eyes. "The child deserves to be like you….to be like the angel you are." The sob wrenched from her throat and her hand flew to her mouth. She slid from his lap and walked slowly to the window, covering her mouth. He did not know from what she was crying, but it was hurting him horribly to see her body wracked with sobs. A pang of worry made him think of the consequence of the anxiety on her body. She reached the window and leaned against it, the coolness comforting to her forehead. She felt his hands turning her, and he was kneeling before her. "Anna." She sniffled miserably and hiccoughed, blinking the tears away. He touched her eyes, shaking his head. "God, Anna, please tell me what I can do." He held her steady and she opened her eyes, shaking her head. Things he should have said so long ago ran through his mind and he leaned his head against her stomach. "I just want things the way they were, but I know that's too much to ask." He winced as though she had struck him. She turned slightly and moved away from him, leaving him kneeling on the floor. He watched her walk to the desk at the far end of the room and lean forward onto it. He studied her for a moment. The simple ivory dress was perfection on her. He watched the satin shift with her movement and her chest heave slightly with her breathing. She reached up and pulled her hair up, tying it into a makeshift coil, and looked over at him slightly. She rubbed her arms, suddenly chilled. "Anna, I'm sorry….let me make it up-" He was cut off by her grabbing a frame from the desk and stalking toward him. "Make what up!?" She stopped several feet away and held the frame out, shaking it toward him. It was their wedding photo. "You have hidden this man so far away from me now! You are not the man I married! The man I married would have never have laid a hand on me in anything except love. You have given me over a hundred stitches and broken bones now…..am I supposed to hear a couple of well thought out phrases and forgive you?! I am terrified of you…..of this place…..and of this child that grows within me…..and I have no where to turn now.…." Her voice failed her and her eyes fell closed. She remained that way for a moment before she flung the frame away from her, shattering it against the wall. He rose to his feet and said nothing. She whirled away and walked across the floor to the desk again, and picked something up. He began to say something until she started back toward him. Her fingers were cold when she took hold of his hand and placed two rings and a locket in his hand, folding his fingers back over them. Her voice was a cold whisper. "You never even noticed I stopped wearing these." Her eyes were devoid of anything and she turned again, while he stared at her wedding rings in his hand. He looked as if she had struck him repeatedly. He simply did not know what to say or what to do. She shook her head and walked over to where the shattered picture lay. She picked up the photo itself and walked back to him. She held the photo out and with one hand, crumpled it, dropping it at his feet. "This is what we are now. We are nothing." She turned and walked from the room, leaving him to stare after her.

The day passed into the night and she remained in the library, cross-legged on the couch. She felt quite numb, and it wasn't until one of the maids came in and set the fire in the fireplace that she seemed to move and regain some sort of consciousness. The maid curtsied to her and moved quickly from the room. Anna stared at the fire, somewhere in her mind going over what he had said to her; and she began to cry. She huddled into herself and cried at her own fear, and her loneliness. He had been sincere, and she knew that in her heart. She was not strong in body, and she so needed him now. She regretted what she had said to him, even with all he had done to her…and she finally drifted off to sleep with this regret strong in her mind.

A month and a half went by, with little said between them. He tried several times to talk to her and finally stopped. It became odd if they were even in the same room for very long. He stayed much of the time in his office and she chose to sleep downstairs in the library next to the fire. It was Wednesday afternoon and she sat in the kitchen, staring at the calendar that hung over the sink. It was the afternoon before Thanksgiving and she was trying to muster up some force to eat lunch. She felt little hunger even with her pregnancy, and she hid the fact that she was ill. Her skin had taken on an ashen pallor, and even her hair had begun to take on a deadened appearance. The picture on the calendar was a beautiful fall forest. A glance outside was a snow-covered landscape. There was rarely a long summer where they were, and much of the year was cold and snowy. She liked it that way….she felt comfortable in the numbing cold. But with her growing condition, she had less and less energy to go outside….and she missed it. She shook herself and slid from the chair, stepping slowly to the refrigerator. The cooking staff would not be there for another half of an hour; to prepare dinner and she stood staring into the steel freezer, looking for something that might appear appetizing. She found a bowl of apples and smiled slightly at her find, reaching out to get one. As her hand laid upon one, she stopped cold and placed her other hand on her stomach. She swore she felt a movement. She withdrew her hand and stood staring blankly ahead until she felt another kick. A wave of emotion washed over her and she shut the door, standing quietly and holding her hands over her midsection. In the span of several seconds, all of the ignorance she had built up for everything shattered and she sank to her knees, the sudden realization that she had a living being within her and that she was totally alone in this hitting her like a wall. She buried her head in her hands and did not realized she was sobbing so loudly until she felt a set of hands lifting her. She opened her eyes to find a young blonde facing her. She remembered James and Jesse, who stood behind her, and there was a tall one that stood next to her, his hair was so black that it almost appeared green. She pulled away and backed a step, trying to control herself, but she felt lost, and her failed attempt at stopping her sobbing only succeeded in giving her the hiccoughs. The blonde caught her as she began to sink down again and Anna held onto her shoulders. The blonde tightened her grip and watched Anna visibly pale further until she pulled away and lunged for the sink. She wretched horribly and the blonde lunged forward to steady her as she began to lose her grip on the sink. Anna leaned against the young woman and cried. Jesse approached and wet a towel, wiping at Anna's face. Anna calmed after a moment and pulled away weakly. She leaned against the sink and muttered a thank you to them. She looked up and they were startled by the lack of life in her eyes. "What are you doing here?" They exchanged looks as Anna made an effort to pull herself together. Anna took notice that they were all dressed quite formally; and not in their normal uniforms. The blonde cocked her head and stared. "We came to check that dinner would be on time. The cooking staff should be here soon. We're kind of in charge." Anna stared at them bewildered. "Dinner?" The blonde nodded slowly, glancing back at the others. "Thanksgiving dinner? It's tonight so we can spend tomorrow with our families?" Anna almost thought she was joking. "Whos Thanksgiving dinner?" Jesse stepped between the blond and the green-haired man and smiled at Anna. "Giovanni didn't tell you?" Anna felt the anxiety building rapidly. "Tell me what?! I haven't spoken to him in over a month!" The blonde's eyes went wide and Jesse touched her arm. "Cassidy! Hush!" "There's a Thanksgiving dinner tonight for the upper ranks, and everyone has off tomorrow and Friday for the holiday." Anna stared at her and finally closed her eyes, rubbing them hard. She moved slowly past the four, leaving them staring after her silently.

Giovanni returned very late that night, retreating to the bedroom quickly. The dinner had been nice, and he had endured the looks of curiosity as to his solitary appearance. Fortunately, no one had the nerve to ask him where she was; not even those who had seen her in the kitchen. He turned on the light as he slammed the door, a little harder than he had planned. Throwing his jacket to a nearby chair, he stopped. She was lying there, in their bed, on her side, like a fallen angel. He walked over to her and knelt at the side of the bed, running a hand over her hair. She looked tired, even in sleep, and he feared for her health. She stirred slightly, and her eyes fluttered open. Upon seeing him, she smiled softly and whispered, "The dinner was a lovely thing to do…."

She turned when she reached the bed and watched him shed his suitcoat. He approached her, smiling softly. He gestured to the bed and lifted her slightly so she could sit comfortably. She sighed and leaned back against her arms, leaning her head back. She kicked off her heels and felt his weight upon the bed next to her. She exhaled and felt a movement within her midsection. It was forceful in its own right and her hands flew to her stomach, her eyes widening. He watched her eyes moisten and bit down on his lip again. He had missed her greatly in the last month. She sat up and slid from the bed, pacing around slowly. The movement did not hurt, it simply made her uncomfortable. The added weight was also beginning to wear on her back. She turned and looked at him. He simply watched her, not quite certain of what he should do. She wanted his comfort, and she missed him as well. The child within her shifted again and she groaned slightly. She approached the bed and took his left hand in hers, placing it on her midsection. As if on cue, the child shifted again, and he suddenly looked startled, looking up into her eyes. She looked tired, but not quite as distraught. "I thought you might like to feel your child move." He blinked several times and leaned forward, gently laying his head against her midsection. She laid her hands on his head, cradling him gently. She noticed the time from the clock on the bedside table read past midnight. Her emotions warred within her and she felt tears slide slowly down her cheeks. "Happy Thanksgiving, dear." His head whipped up and looked at her, almost stunned. He let her go and stood, going over to the desk. He opened a small crystal box and returned, holding his hand out. "Come back to me, Anna…..I need you…I miss you…..I love you." His voice ended in a whisper and she stared at her wedding rings and the locket laying in his hand, feeling overcome. She held her hand out and a sudden serenity washed over her like a wave as he easily slid the rings onto her left ring finger and clasped the locket about her neck. She sniffled and looked up into his eyes as he wiped the tear that fell down her cheek. He leaned forward, almost tentatively and brushed his lips against hers. He felt the shiver go through her and he slid an arm around to support her back. She moved forward and leaned against him, revelling slightly in the strength and power he wielded. His other hand caressed her cheek as his lips touched hers again, this time with more force. He heard the almost inaudible moan from her throat and her hands came to rest against his chest. She had always been vulnerable to his charm and seduction, and this was no exception, even in her generally ill state. She felt no fear of him as his tongue traced the contour of her lips slowly, and she had flashes of memories of years ago, when this was all there was, when there was no anger, or cruelty, or preoccupation with his work. He pulled back and went to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes. She stood before him and laid her hands on his head, stroking through his hair. He closed his eyes and smiled softly. "I would give it all up for you, Anna." She stepped forward, between his legs, cradling his head. "But I would never ask you to." She took his face in her hands and tilted his head up to her. Her voice was honey sliding over him. "I never asked you to give up anything, and I never asked you to change anything…..I only asked for my husband back." Her voice trailed off as she leaned over him, her lips closing upon his right ear. Her tongue traced the contour of his ear and his eyes fell closed. "I never asked anything of you but to be my husband." She listened to his breath quicken as her lips trailed down his neck. She stood up after a while, more from the pain in her back than anything else. He stared up at her, his eyes clouded. She blinked slowly and he pulled her that she sat upon his leg. She leaned against him, finally dozing. He laid her softly against the pillows, and stayed up for a time after that, watching her. She was exquisite, laying against the black satin, and he smiled to himself as he pulled the covers up over her, passing a hand over her stomach. She did not even stir when he slid into bed beside her a time later, freshly showered, and pulled her against him. The scent of pears came from her hair and he buried his head into her hair, a comfortable contentment coming over him as sleep soon followed.

She brooked no argument when he began to make her go to see Dr. Wiinderz every couple of days. The anxiety and constant stress had degraded her health drastically. She fought in vain about eating, and she felt like a five year old when he forced her to eat a normal meal. But the nausea slowly receded over the next week and a half until she was only ill in the morning when she woke. Her skin took on a normal hue and her hair regained some of its luster. The handful of pills and vitamins she took each evening helped as well. It was in the second week of December on a particular morning when her eyes came open slowly. She laid on her side, staring at his back. She was no longer able to lay on her back; it just hurt too much. She was in much discomfort, even with her gain in health. In the last two and a half weeks, since they had silently reconciled, they did not talk much of the child; he cared for her quietly and strongly, making her as comfortable as possible; but this did not alleviate any of her unspoken fears. She knew nothing of children. In fact, she barely remembered being one. The thought of birth terrified her. But she said nothing to him of any of this. So many things worried and bothered her now. She touched him, tracing the defined muscles of his shoulder. A slight ripple went down his back and he woke, rolling to look at her. "What's wrong?" She shook her head, tracing a finger over his collarbone. "Nothing, why?" He watched her, and waited. She had a little over two months left, and her moods swung in a very wide arc. He smiled softly at her and reached over to brush the tendrils of hair that fell over her cheek, then slid his arm to her side, pulling her that she lay against his side, her head cradled against his shoulder. He glanced at the clock and sighed slightly; it was not even five in the morning. He felt a shudder go through her and looked down at her. It did not take much to realize her fear; it was spoken in her every movement….from the way she tentatively held her stomach to the nerveless way she paced at night when the child kept her up. "Anna?" She looked up at him, and let out a breath. "Kicking again." He moved so he could cradle her more fully and started to rock her slowly. He felt her shudder again and she turned her face into his chest. He turned her head and peered into her eyes in the dim light. He stared at her. She was crying. "Anna, tell me what's wrong?" His voice was deep and she discerned the concern from it. Her hair fell over her shoulder and her voice was small. "I am so scared." He instinctively tightened his grip on her. "Scared of what?" She looked down at her stomach and shivered, despite the heavy cotton gown she wore. "Of this….of everything…..I am no mother…." He smiled at her and placed his hands on top of hers. "You will be fine." She looked up, looking over to the bay doors. "I'm scared of the pain. I'm scared that I won't know what to do. I'm scared of dying….." A small sob came from deep within her throat. He touched her lips and she looked at him. He was her strength; he always had been. "Anna, you will not be alone. Dr. Wiinderz has delivered many children. You will be fine." She shuddered again, shifting as the child shifted within her. "I don't know if I want this…." Her words cut the air and he said nothing. The subject had never truly come up in their years together. He wanted children, he had just never placed it as a priority, and he suddenly realized that they had never really talked about it. As easy as he could make it to assign a nanny to the child, and not have to be bothered, somewhere within him he did not want that. He cupped her chin and stared hard in her eyes. "Anna, do you want a child?" He watched the tears roll down her cheeks and she shrugged. "I….don't know….I really don't…..I don't even know if you do…." She kept his gaze and he smiled so softly into her eyes. "Yes Anna, I do." Minutes passed and his fingers rubbed her neck gently. She never broke their gaze and she blinked finally. "But I don't know how to be a mother?" She was so beautiful to him, and he continued to smile softly at her. "You will…..and you will be as wonderful a mother as you are a wife." He caught a tear on her cheek, placing his other hand on her stomach. "I'm not going to lie to you and say it will be easy, but I will be with you through it….don't forget that." She nodded then, catching her breath. She wiped at the tears as another shudder went through her. "I'm still scared….."

It was the week before Christmas and she stared at the trimmed tree in shock. Her mouth was open and she was shaking her head in disbelief. It was gorgeous, fully trimmed and it lit up the room. The scent of pine filled the room and she took a deep breath, still shaking her head. He stood several feet behind her. She had gone to see Dr. Wiinderz. It had taken longer than normal as he had done several ultrasounds. She had come back, and had stopped dead when she stepped into the bedroom. The tiny blue lights of the tree twinkled, lighting the room a warm blue. He rose from the chair by the window, coming to stand behind her as she approached the tree. Finally, her hand rose to cover her mouth and he heard her hushed voice, "I don't believe it….." It had been years since they had celebrated any holiday with more than a muttered cordiality. She touched the shimmering ornaments and felt his arms wrap around her waist. She turned in his arms and gazed up at him. "I don't believe it." He leaned down and kissed her softly. "I wanted to give you a Christmas again." She glanced back at the tree. "You did that?" He smirked. "Why?" She smiled. "It's so beautiful." The smirk disappeared and he gazed thoughtfully into her eyes. "I thought of you while I did it." The tears spilled over and fell down her cheeks. She leaned against him and they stared at the tree together, his hand tenderly rubbing her back. He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek against her flame hair. He finally pulled away, turning to the study. She stared after him, puzzled. "Giovanni?" He didn't turn around. "Yeah?" His voice was very flat, and she simply let him go.

It was Christmas Eve, and as he glanced at the clock and realized that he had less than an hour to get ready and get Anna, the migraine that had been tormenting him all day seemed to worsen. He threw his pen across the desk and sat back, sighing. He didn't realize the door had opened until he heard her voice from the doorway, calling to him. She closed the door as softly as she had opened it and he looked up. She wore the gown he had had made for her to attend the dinner. White satin trimmed with fur, it hung off of her shoulders and to the floor. She came around and leaned against the desk, smiling gently at him. "I got impatient waiting for you." From anyone else, he would have taken that comment offensively, but her voice held nothing but sincerity. He nodded, rubbing his eyes as he leaned back. "I know, I'm sorry….just wanted to finish up a couple of things." His gaze travelled over her, silently in wonder that she looked so gorgeous seven months pregnant. A very base image flashed through his mind and he rested his hand on his chin, continuing to stare at her. "Are you feeling okay?" He nodded slightly, "Just tired….a little tense…..why?" She picked up the bottle that sat next to the wineglass on his desk. "You've been taking these for two weeks now….." she paused, reading the prescription on them. "Did you get hurt?" He shook his head, taking them from her as he rose, standing over her. His hand slid into her hair, turning her head up. She was silenced as his mouth descended upon hers greedily. He dropped the bottle onto the desk, both of them ignoring the fact that it rolled to the floor and shattered. Their mouths still locked, he began to push her back upon the desk. Her gasp as her back hit the desk opened his eyes. He let go his grip on her hair and backed away from her, while she sat up. She brushed the hair from her face while he walked over to the window. "Giovanni, what's wrong?" Her mind reeled, searching for anything. He shook his head, peering out into the snow. He heard the soft click of her heels and felt her hands slide up his back, beneath his suit coat. "What's wrong?" He looked over his shoulder at her, and then turned, the dim light in the room hiding his actual expression. "Nothing….I didn't want to risk hurting you….." He put a hand to his forehead and began to massage his increasing migraine. There was a drawn out silence until he felt her hand brush over him. He visibly tensed, and felt her lean against him. "Anna….." She pushed against him until he was against the wall and closed his eyes as she gripped him, running her other hand over his neck. "There's no need for you to suffer…" Her grip tightened and he gasped, his head thudding against the wall. She dropped to her knees, and in the time it took him to muster a sentence and open his mouth, her cool lips slid down the length of him. Her hands rested up against his stomach, and his fingers laid against her hair, fighting every urge to grip her head and thrust into her tight throat. He swallowed, trying to breath as she sucked him hard, like she would a cherry popsicle on one of the few warm days they got where they were. She felt him tense, and pushed down hard, feeling him slide into her throat. "Anna….oh….." His fingers tightened against her hair, but did not push. She swallowed and the exquisite constriction of her throat was the end of him. She felt him pour down her throat and drank deeply until he shuddered, falling back against the wall. Her lips slid from him and she pulled herself to her feet, smiling softly at him as he wearily adjusted his clothing. He looked up at her, and coughed. He opened his mouth to speak and she stepped forward, her fingers on his lips, and leaned up to his ear. "You don't have to suffer…I can still function as a woman…please don't think I'm entirely stupid about what's been bothering you….don't torture yourself….and stop taking the painkillers….they're not helping you….." She stepped back from him and forced herself not to smile at his startled expression. She turned and started for the door. "Just come to me…..I'll never turn you away…." She reached the door and opened it. "I'll be upstairs…." He just stared after her, his mind still reeling from her throat and words.