A/N: This is the sequel to "Sam Makes a Haul Video."
Dean Makes a Haul Video
by
Deanie McQueen
Dean stared into the camera. He stuck his tongue out in a childish display of humor. Then he licked his lips sensually, because what if there were girls watching?
"Dean," Sam hissed, kicking Dean's leg from somewhere outside of the frame. "Get on with it!"
Dean scowled and shifted in his chair. "Hey, You...Tube." The name felt unfamiliar and distasteful in his mouth. He was sure this was some kind of legal porn site, like Myspace or Facebook, and he didn't like to be objectified. "This is Dean. I'm Sam's older, much better-looking brother, and he's making me-"
"I'm not making you," Sam whispered irritably. "I'm a down-to-earth and likable person. Tell them."
Dean glanced at his brother before looking back to the camera and grinning in mischief. "Sam's a little bitch," he said, and then winced at the sharp kick dealt to his calf. "Anyway, I'm here because we went to a gas station a few miles outside of Erie and Sam was all nervous because he hadn't made a video in a while, but he didn't buy anything. I bought stuff, though, and I figured if I made a video for his...channel, then he might do me a favor and untwist those panties of his." Dean held up a plastic bag with a trail of red "Thank You"'s running down the front of it. "So here we go."
Sam nodded approvingly. Dean snorted and shook his head as he rifled through the bag.
"First item," he announced, pulling out a plastic snack bag. "Is a bag of Munchos brand potato chips. I fucking love these things. They're delicious." He shook the bag lightly in front of the camera. "See on the front? The blue banner says 'a light tasting crispy snack!'" He trailed a fond finger over the blue banner, his mouth watering a little at the idea of delving into said crispy snacks. It took him a moment to pull himself back into reality. "Yeah, so I'm really happy about those."
He dropped the Munchos back into the bag, fished again with his tongue between his teeth until he found something. "And next we have...condoms!" He displayed the purple box to the camera proudly. "It's the Trojan pleasure pack and it's awesome. You'll notice it comes in four different kinds." He pointed to the rectangular labels on the box as he read off the names. "Twisted Pleasure, Her Pleasure, Intense Ribbed, and Shared Pleasure. These are all excellent prophylactics. And remember, kids, safe sex is important. I make sure Sam has at least three of these in his wallet just in case. We don't need any geeky little ankle-biters runnin' around our legs any time soon."
"Dean."
"We don't. Anyway, those are awesome and I'm happy about them. There's a couple more things in here, but I'm not going to go over them, but just so you know, it's a lighter and a flashlight, both of which come in handy for our graveyard jaunts, so I'm really excited about using those and I'm sure you're excited that I'm excited. Aren't you? Sure, you are."
Dean dropped the condoms back into the plastic bag and raised his eyebrows at the camera. "I guess this is goodbye, then. Stay cool, You...Tube."
With that, Dean turned off the camera. Later that night, he consoled his moody brother with a demeaning shoulder squeeze, for Dean's haul video, unsurprisingly, was their most popular video to date.