A/n: Hi everyone! This is my first fic on here and is basically a short story I wrote for school last year, and has been adapted for Ashes use. :) It revolves around why Gene is the way he is in LOM/A2A and entertains the possibility that he wasn't always like that... Oh, and just so you know, the first paragraph is the OC character's view, the second is Gene's and it alternates from there. I haven't really put an age to Gene in this oneshot, but he might be about 16/17/18? Something like that, anyway. And I think this is what's called AU, Gene's Dad is kind of ignored in this. Feel free to correct me on anything and contructive critisism is welcomed! :) (Sorry for the rambling, by the way) And its Un-Beta'd, so all mistakes are mine. :)

Disclaimer: I believe you need one of these, but I don't know what to put, so I'll just say that I DON'T own Ashes To Ashes or any of the characters, my mind just isn't that great... :(

Life Or Death?

Deathly white. Why did my skin have to be a deathly white? I never tanned. I just burnt. Just like I was at that moment. I looked down at the bright pink colour my skin was turning under the near unbearable heat and sighed. I could hear my Mum yelling at me to put on suncream. Agrh! She annoyed me so much sometimes! I couldn't wait to move out!

A satisfying shade of brown. That's the colour me skin went in that type of sun. I was so lucky. I mean, some people just burnt, but not me. I could hear me little brother's squealing laugh as me Mam tickled him mercilessly. I got up and went to join them. I loved my family. I never wanted to be without them!

Slowly testing the water with my perfectly manicured foot, I found it was freezing. Great. That was the last time I went on a family holiday to Cornwall. Cornwall. Why Cornwall? Of all the places to go, we went to Cornwall. And then I was being forced to go swimming with my freak of a seven year old brother who, at the time, had a half shaved head after an unfortunate accident with a razor. Casually scanning the beach for any fit boys; my eyes hit the jackpot. He was just sitting back down on the soft sand, with no top on and rock-hard abs, just looking at the waves, his golden blonde hair flowing in the slight breeze, his icy blue eyes glistening in the light of the midday sun. Yum. I could see that this was my chance to get his attention and waded deeper into the water as he turned to look at me, best not to be too obvious, but failed to notice the red flag flying in the corner of my eye…

Sitting back down in my place in the sun, I noticed a girl about my age, who had chestnut brown hair and sparkling hazel eyes, test the sea water with her toe and recoiling, not looking best pleased. She also looked like a lobster, which is never good, under any circumstances. The girl appeared to be with a little boy who, I presumed, was her brother that looked a little bit like our Stu, and I wondered if he was like him. Then, he turned around. Oh. Maybe not. We went to Cornwall every year. We could have gone somewhere else, but we loved it so much there, we always decided not to. Me eyes focused back on the girl, whose gaze I could now feel on the side of my face, but she looked away as I turned and was now immersing her near-illuminous skin deeper into the sea. But, wasn't the red flag up? The one that meant there was a strong current? She obviously hadn't noticed. As she got further out, she started to struggle swimming. She was getting taken away with the current, but no one had noticed! Some lifeguards they were. I could hear her strangled cries for help as I approached the choppy sea...

Arms and legs flailing, I regretted going deeper into the water. The current was taking me away! As I struggled desperately to get back to the beach, I could feel the slimy tentacles of water grabbing at me from the depths. I could taste the bitter saltiness of the sea water as I cried in vain for help. Just as I thought it was all over, that I was going to die, I saw him swimming towards me at quite a speed. I had a fleeting thought of who he actually was, why he was so bothered about saving me, and how my thoughts three minutes earlier now seemed so trivial, before realising that that wasn't the most important thing to be thinking about at that moment. I could see my Mum and brother in the distance, still on the shore, panicking, screaming for help, just as I had done moments earlier. Why were they panicking? He was going to get to me in time. He was going to save me, wasn't he? This was my last thought before I felt the waves wash over me, as my last breaths were torn out of my lungs and my world turned black.

I was swimming at a remarkable speed, it has to be said. The girl was struggling desperately as she tried to fight the current. Getting closer, I could see a glimmer of hope sparkle in her pretty eyes. Suddenly, I realised getting to her in time was becoming less and less likely to happen, and she must have realised it too, as I saw that glimmer of hope fade away. Hearing her family's screams far behind me on the shore, the girl's head disappeared under the waves as she got swept away.

Spinning round and round, I thought I was never going to stop. I felt dizzy. Dizzier than I had ever felt in my life. Life. But, I wasn't alive, was I? Suddenly, I found myself standing in a very familiar room, but I couldn't put my finger on why it was so familiar. Filing through my memories, I realised I was actually standing in my room from when I was a little girl. When my parents were together. When we were happy. Anyway, I wandered out of the room down into, what I remembered to be, the living room. As I entered, I got a massive shock. All the people I had known and loved who had died were here! Including my Dad. Running towards him, I saw his eyes light up as he noticed me. I ran into his arms, he still smelt the same; tobacco, "Old Spice" and something that was just uniquely 'Dad'. I stayed that was for what seemed like forever. I felt safe, content, happy. Heaven is not how they portray films, it's not all 'white light' and 'golden gates'… it's so much better.

I felt like a failure. As the ambulance and police got to the beach, I knew they were too late. I shook my head as I got back to shore and the girl's mother knew she'd gone. She was trying to hold back, to not show that she was devastated at me, but I could see the sadness in 'er eyes. She blamed me. I knew it. People came over, me family, police, paramedics put a blanket around me, asking if I was OK, but I felt numb, oblivious to it all. Surviving a life threatening event, being a near-hero isn't all that people think… it's so much worse.