Category: Gen
Setting:Final scene of the finale.
Characters/Pairings: Jonathan Black
Rating/WarningsK+, spoilers for the finale
Disclaimer:I own nothing.
Summary: Set during the final scene of the finale, Jonathan thinks about where his decisions have brought him and what they would cost him. But in the end, it was the best option, his only option.
Author's Note: I wrote this in ten minutes immediately after the finale ripped out my heart (and my voice from screaming at the TV). So I might come back and edit it in a day or so when I am more coherent, but until then I hope you enjoy. Obviously, if you have yet to see the finale, do not read. This is set in the very last scene-you know the one-and I just had to delve into why Jonathan did what he did.
The Only Option
It was the best option, the only option. Cameron had done all he could, but Cameron could never understand, could never really help him. All his life, Jonathan had been kept in the shadows. All his life it had been Cameron this, Cameron that. But now? Now he could be just Jonathan. Even if it came at the expense of his twin brother.
His brother, whom he had protected since childhood. His brother who had remained so hopeful for over a year and had done all he could to get him out of jail. His brother who had chosen a girl over his own twin. His brother who had finally realized all his mistakes. His brother who had finally thrown everything away to save him from another year behind his bars.
His brother whom he had knocked out and left to suffer behind those same bars.
No. He couldn't think about that. He had done what he had to. Cameron would never understand. Cameron was hurting, wasn't thinking straight. And he would never be able to do what had to be done. Jonathan drank the shot of whiskey in one and motioned to the bartender for another. She would be here soon, and he couldn't think of what he was doing or he would back out and she would never get what she deserved.
Cameron would be fine. He would be hurt, betrayed, but he would be fine. He was always fine, no matter what happened to him. He probably wouldn't even be behind bars for long. Fingerprints would prove who he was, or someone in the prison would realize that he wasn't Jonathan. It was Jonathan who was used to acting like this twin, not Cameron. Cameron could never act like him.
And he would never forgive him for what he had done. He had betrayed him, stabbed his own brother in the back. And the worst part? The worst part was that part of Jonathan had enjoyed it. He had enjoyed hitting his brother, hitting the person who, deep down, he did partially blame for his non-existence. And he had meant what he had said. He didn't want to escape with Cameron, not with him, not right now.
He had always been there for Cameron, but now he had to back away. He had to make sure that Cameron didn't interfere. Jonathan knew his brother, and he knew that Cameron would come after him as soon as he could. Which meant that he didn't have a large window to do what needed to be done.
Jonathan finished off the second shot and motioned for one more, but he didn't drink this one. Instead, he waited, staring down into the liquid and trying to escape his own thoughts. He knew what he had done was right, even if it seemed wrong. So why was there this part of him that was telling him to walk away and go back to that prison before anyone realized what had happened? As much as he wanted to ignore it, he knew the reason:
He could never see his brother again.
Not that Cameron would ever want to see him again. And Jonathan couldn't blame him. He had betrayed him in one of the worst ways he could have. If he was Cameron he would never forgive him and he couldn't blame his brother for hating him as he surely must. He had betrayed his brother and now he was well and truly alone.
"Hello Jonathan."
No. He wasn't alone. He turned to face the Mystery Woman, the woman who had ruined his life, but who had also begun it. If it hadn't been for her, he would still be living in the shadows and never have had a chance to be himself. But if it hadn't been for her, he would never have been to prison, would never have had to come to the point where he would betray his brother.
He would rather be alone, but he was here for a reason. And she was his reason. It took all his control to keep the disgust—both for her and for himself—off his face as he drank the third shot. She may have helped him come out of the shadows, but she had manipulated him and his brother. She had threatened their lives, had nearly gotten Cameron killed multiple times, and that was not something Jonathan could let pass.
So he would play her game for now. He would do what his brother would never have been able to do. He would end this, one and for all, no matter the cost. Because he had already lost his brother, so what else did he have to lose?