Prologue

A/N: Please note that this story is not in any way, at all, related to the Storyline of the game, or even Lore related. In fact, it's an AU. Also, while I do read far too much, this is my first real story, so I don't know if the grammar is good, or if it will be enjoyable.

THIS IS AN ADAPTION OF (UZUMAKI: SUBJECT ZERO) BY PIRO-SAN

s/11867629/1/Uzumaki-Subject-Zero

Rin Uzumaki, had lived a very long live, currently being 142. This may seem like a long life to most, but to an Uzumaki, it was in fact, quite short, the average being around 230. Rin, however, wasn't distressed by her short life, her long-time casual lover, Tenten, had died ten years ago, and without the relief that their friends-with-benefits relationship brought her, she was getting annoyed with being alive. That was just the way Rin was, she was blunt and had very different values to most people. After so long alive, she found it just easier to accept her quirks, mainly, her inability to dress conservatively. Even after such a long time, she still found it easier to dress in her normal skin-tight leather pants, training bra, and sleeveless, unzipped hoodie. This was not to say that she hadn't changed at all.

Indeed, she had invented many techniques, and perfected the ones that she already had. Toward the end of her life, she had been powerful enough with her mental techniques, that she could rip mountains from the ground, and crush minds like grapes. She had perfected her mind reading as well. She had reached a level, where she could tell what a person would think, before they thought it. Her IQ, too, had only risen with her age, it now being well into the 700's. Her Sharingan had improved as well. She could interpret moves 10 seconds into the future, instead of the normal 1 or 2 seconds. She could use a few Eien Mangekyou Sharingan techniques as well, Kamui and Amaterasu. While her Kamui was far better than her Amaterasu, she still occasionally enjoyed burning things to the ground and leaving it to burn for a week, even if that was a strange hobby.

She had once attempted to burn the Hokage monument to the ground in a fit of boredom. But it hadn't worked, the heads all had strange defences, the head of the first Hokage, kept growing an outer layer of wood as fast as it burnt, the second Hokage head, seemed to liquefy before the flames hit, the third turned into a tiny adamantine model before the flames hit, missing the head entirely, and the Fourth just vanished in a flash of yellow, reappearing when the flames had gone.

One of the things she was most proud of, however, was her title in the Bingo Book, 'The Pain-In-The-Neck Nin of Konoha', or simply, 'That bitch that won't die'. Another was that, even after her 142 years, on her dying breathe, she didn't look a day over thirty.

These thoughts were wiped from her head, obviously, when she died. But she was ready, she couldn't wait to float endlessly in the peaceful currents of the pure world.

Which was why she was so cripplingly disappointed, when she found herself hitting the rather hard ground of a golden pantheon.

Wait… what?

She rubbed her eyes and checked again… yes, she was in a golden pantheon, it was rather like another that she had seen in a history book, some ancient civilization called Rope… or was it Reme, Rome? Something like that.

As she looked about the area, she noticed, with some shock, the other people that lay on the floor, rolling about and groaning. This wasn't all that shocking; indeed, it was a fall that many civilians wouldn't survive. What had shocked her was just how weird they all looked. There were eight others, they all wore robes, red, green, blue, or white. Their main noticeably different features, was their skin colour. Sure, many of them had strange hair as well, but she was from the Elemental Nations, it wasn't anything new.

There was blue skin, golden skin, and green skin. It appeared that only her and four others had normal skin.

One of the women with blue-green skin, hair of the same colour and an obnoxiously large chest, slowly pushed herself into a sitting position.

"Where are we?" She asked.

Another man, still laying on the floor, though no longer groaning, lifted his head, and said "I don't know, but it feels… right? Comfortable maybe?" He sounded unsure. He was right though, the place radiated peace. I looked around and noticed that we weren't on the ground. The temple was floating, on a sea of glowing golden-blue.

The others came of look as well when they heard my shocked exclamation. They too, were surprised.

After a while of staring at the sea, another woman with golden skin and long golden stated, "We can't do anything about where we are, do any of you know why we are here?"

Another man with tanned skin and a green beard and hair responded, "I can't be sure, but given that I'm rather certain I just died, assuming you all just died as well, we can safely assume that this is some sort of afterlife."

We all responded in the affirmative, that settled it, this was an afterlife. I wasn't too disappointed; the sea of colour was riveting.

A woman with blue hair and skin and a kind small, asked, "What are your names? I can't keep referring to you as 'the person with that colour skin'."

We sat in a circle and went around introducing ourselves.

The first man spoke, he was the weirdest of the bunch, having human hands and feet, his head, however, was draconic, covered with small golden scales and horns with a slightly darker golden hue.

"My name is Akatosh, I was from the middle east."

Another man with long brown hair and beard spoke up.

"The middle east of where?"

"...The region called the Middle East, of course!"

"Nope, don't know it, I was from Perkistan."

The man with the green hair and beard, spoke up again, "I think at this point we can assume that all of our residences were on different worlds."

"How can you tell that," I asked, "That was only one example, perhaps some people here are from the same place, maybe he just hasn't travelled enough to know the this 'middle east'."

"I… I don't know," he slowly responds, "I just, know it?"

We went back to introductions.

"I am Arkey," said the man with a mane of golden hair and tanned skin.

"I am Dibella," said the woman with the irritatingly large chest, and blue-green skin and hair.

"I am Dibella's sister, Mara," said the woman with golden skin, and long golden hair.

"I am Julianos," said the man with tanned skin and long green hair and beard that seemed to just 'know things'.

"I am Kynareth," said the woman with blue skin and hair, that had the kind smile.

"I am Stendarr," Said the man with green skin and golden-green hair.

"I am Zenithar," Said the man with tanned skin and long brown hair with the beard.

They all turned to look at me. They seemed surprised that the robe I was wearing wasn't as colourful as theirs, it was black, with a red sash around the waist. When did I get a robe, anyway?

I opened my mouth to respond, "I am Rin, I said,"

"Maybe we should change your name," said Julianos.

"What wrong with my name!" Is shouted, shocked at how rude he was being, Only I am allowed to be that rude!

He frowned, as if annoyed at himself. "What I meant, was that we all have a name that is at least two syllables, if my theory is correct, then you don't want a name that might subconsciously make people think of you as lesser then the rest of us."

That made no sense, who cared if people took me as lesser, I was a ninja, being underestimated was a good thing. Besides, if they saw me fight, I'm sure that they wouldn't dare think such things, especially not in a 5-kilometre radius of me, which was the current area of affect for my passive thought reading.

"He's right, you know," said the dragon-man, "I'm not sure what we're doing here but I might be on to what Julianos is thinking."

"Oh, and what would that be?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well," Julianos explained, "if you'll look down at the sea of whatever that is, you'll notice that there is a bottom, and past that bottom, is a planet." I looked and there was indeed a planet, though it was very dead looking.

"My theory," he continued, "is that we have 'ascended' or something and we are now gods."

It seemed ridiculous, it was ridiculous, but as I went to mock him for his idiocy, I found myself agreeing with him, against my will, I might add.

"So, what should I be called then?" I asked

"Did you have a last name," Kynareth asked, "If you did, just add the first two syllables onto your first name, and you have your god name."

I sighed in annoyance, "Fine, my god name is Uzurin," I hesitated, "tell me more about your theory."

"Not to seem arrogant or anything, but I was a very important person on my planet, I made a lot of advancements in science and math that revolutionized the level of technology. And now I'm here, and I seem to just… know things, that I really shouldn't. It is my theory that I became a god of knowledge or something. I just, well, know… somehow… that I became a god of knowledge, wisdom and general intelligence."

"I feel the same," said Akatosh, "I didn't develop much, but I did research black holes a lot, and the intense gravitational pull, and the appliances that it might have on time travel, just before I died, I made a break-through that might allow people to travel backward through time. I also discovered a new reptilian, winged creature, that had been extinct for millions of years."

Everyone had similar stories, Arkey died stopping a crack-addict from defiling the grave of some king, Dibella died in the world's largest Orgy. Her sister, died alone from heartache from missing her sister. Kynareth died protecting her world's largest tree from loggers. Stendarr died whilst fighting off a small army of mafia thugs. Zenithar died the richest, yet most honest business man in his world. And I, died the most powerful person on the planet. The rest were doubtful of that, until I rose almost the entire sea above the temple, they stopped doubting me after that.

And thus, we found that we all instinctively knew what our sphere of influence was. Akatosh, was the Dragon God of Time, Arkey was the God of the Life/Death Cycle, Dibella, was the Goddess of Pleasure and had a minor role in Romantic Love. Her sister, Mara, was the Goddess of Familial Love, Romantic Love and Affection. Julianos was the God of Intelligence, Wisdom and Logic. Kynareth, was the Goddess of the Elements and Nature. Stendarr, was the God of Righteousness and Might, and Zenithar was the God of Wealth, Labour and Commerce.

I was the Goddess of Power, and Mischief. Nobody has much trouble believing the second one.

There was a problem though, now that we knew there were divine beings, there wasn't much left to figure out. Indeed, there was almost nothing to do. I couldn't really tell how long we had been in the temple, after what I later found out to be a few years, I asked Akatosh and he made a timer, that counted how long it had been. It was currently a few millennia. After the first day, we had Zenithar, as the God of Labour, make furniture, so the temple was comfortable.

Some of the Gods and Goddesses passed the years by skirting around each other in some sort of retarded mating ritual, it was too slow for my liking, and I often referred to it as pussy-footing, much to their embarrassed indignation. Eventually, that too, passed, and relationships started to form. Akatosh, lucky bastard that he was, somehow found himself with Dibella and Mara, so he was basically living Jiraiya's dream. Arkey and Kynareth got together as they had somewhat related spheres of influence. Julianos, Stendarr and Zenithar became referred to as the Asexual Triplets. They just weren't interested, preferring to spend time, thinking, making things, or being righteous. And I found myself to be quite lesbian. I'm not sure that's the correct term though, I was a God, I could just change my body and be male, but I looked like a female because I found the female form much more aesthetically pleasing.

After a few more millennia, the others stopped finding sex enough to quell the boredom, and, much to my relief, started looking for other things to do.

Kynareth was the first to come up with an idea. She proposed that we bring life to the dead planet beneath the 'Sea of Power'. It eventually became an obsession between the nine of us.

So, one day, Kynareth and I used out control over the elements to put the potential for life there, Arkey used his power to make a guaranteed thing. Akatosh used his power over time to speed up the process until it was entertaining enough to watch the growth. There wasn't any fauna though. No animals and no people. We could fix that though, we were Gods, there was nothing we couldn't do.

Arkey used his power to ensure that eventually something would evolve into people. Kynareth couldn't wait though, and made animals. Though strangely, she didn't make all the animals, just a few species, and there were a ridiculous number of wolves and bears.

Akatosh, being Akatosh, wanted to make dragons, but we delayed him, asking that we waited at least until the animals were properly settled. So Akatosh entertained himself with different dragon designs, when he was nearly finished and the animals were settled, he came to me, and asked for me to lend him some power, to give the dragons some magical power. He wanted them to be apex predators. I, being bored out of my mind, decided to let him, in fact, I did one better. I poked a hole in the bottom of the 'Sea of Power' in a way that the entire planet was covered in power, it wasn't a drain of the Sea though, if I ever wanted it to fill back up, I just made it. I quite literally had infinite power. It was more difficult to get the power to hit the planet instead of just falling into the void. There was something evil in the void, and we didn't want to interact with it. We just called it Sithis, after a something from Akatosh's home world, called the Sith.

To make the power hit the planet, I created some 'power magnets' the most effective form for them to take was a scroll. So, I made what I call an Elder Scroll. The very nature of the scroll, meant that as soon as I had made it, it had already existed, yet also had never and never will exist. Even Akatosh got a headache from thinking about it, they just kept shifting through time, but also never shifted through time. He feinted the first time he tried to track when through time they were, so he stopped trying.

But they never strayed from the planet, for some reason, and being made from my power, attracted more of it. They were passable magnets, and the power dripping from the Sea, managed to hit the planet.

So, Akatosh finished his Dragon Project, the first was called Alduin. He looked cool, though I thought Akatosh would have done a better job designing them, their neck looks like they naturally get sore necks. The dragons made my power into a vocal force, which was… different. But not very powerful. They did manage to get gravity down with it. However, that's mute because they didn't even make one to heal, which is dumb.

By this time, Humans had evolved. It was probably sped up from my power. But they were blank slates. We started to bless them, to make them functioning beings, instead of instinct controlled sacks of flesh. Akatosh gave them an upper limit to their life span, Arkey gave them a natural disgust to necromancy. Kynareth just added a small liking of cute animals. Dibella and Mara gave them the capacity for all types of love. Stendarr tried to give then righteousness, but I pranked him at the moment of the blessing, it would be no fun if they were all goody-two-shoes. Zenithar gave them a need to have currency, and to work to gain it.

I tried hard to give them a sense of mischief, I tried again and again, but to my everlasting shame, it wore off after puberty most of the time. I also gave them the ability to use minuscule amounts of my power.

They were complete, and we were content to watch them, after sending down a few guidelines, both to know that we existed, and so that they hopefully turned out to be somewhat decent people.

This is the point at which the dragons showed themselves to the humans, and began a dictatorship. Akatosh was furious, Alduin decided that he was an instrument of his father to end the world to begin a new one, not even we know where the current one came from. I think Akatosh was just angry because if Alduin succeeded, we would be without entertainment. Not that Alduin could 'eat' the world, but he could destroy all life, which would be irritating.

The reason Alduin thought he was an instrument of destruction was, once he was created and still a small child. He spent a few years in the temple with us, until he was old enough to put on Nirn. We was wandering about and heard his parents in a... comprimising position, not that he knew that. When he heard

"… oh yes, Akatosh *indistinct mumbles* … uck me … hard… you destroy Nirn."

Alduin, being the innocent, impressionable child he was, thought that he could make his father proud by destroying Nirn. Over the course of a few hundred years he had tricked himself into thinking he heard more than that, and thought that by destroying the current planet, a new one would arise… There's probably an innuendo in that somewhere.

Thus, it was with great shame that we saw humans become the very opposite of what we wanted, though I was quite happy that it wasn't boring. Rape and Theft were high, people often didn't work for riches and bemoaned the fact that they didn't miraculously get them. People hunted many types of animal into extinction. Most people forgot how to use the logic that was given to them by Julianos. The thing that was most irritating, however, was that many associated my power, my power, with Julianos, the teme couldn't even comprehend the reality bending qualities of my power. Even then, to add salt to the wound, the humans didn't even use it to its full potential, they didn't even use all the elements. Admittedly, they became rather good with healing, but their elemental 'spells' couldn't even destroy a sturdy house. The biggest explosion I ever say was 30 metres in each direction. That was just pathetic.

And then they decided to use my Elder Scroll to set Alduin loose on the time stream. Akatosh was still too irritated to save him. Thinking the fact that he didn't save Alduin was maybe enough for Alduin to realise that his father wasn't please. He was right, Alduin did think Akatosh wasn't pleased, but thought that Akatosh was disappointed that he didn't get the job done. Though the thing that really annoyed me was that they used an Elder Scroll to do it. Those things are inefficient as shit. It's like using potatoes to power an entire city, it can be done, if you have enough potatoes, but that's a metric shit-tonne of potatoes gone. It took almost .0001% of my power, that's a millionth. Of course, I just 'wished' the power back, and it's all back. Theoretically, I could overflow Aetherius with raw power if I wanted to. But I don't want to do that… totally.

Don't even get me started about when Akatosh had to step in 200 years ago to stop Cyrodiil being wiped out by a minor demon from the void. I mean really, a Minor Demon.

I needed to fix it, they needed to be better, more mischievous, less stupid with my power. The easiest was to influence them was from up close, so, I decided. I would head to Nirn myself.

A/N: How was it, did it meet your expectations. I know that it might seem like telling, not showing. But it was just to set up for the next chapter. I'm trying to make this humorous. I think I'm failing badly.