AN: I can't believe I'm actually posting this.
Like honestly, it was purely a crack idea I got from reading another story. I didn't take it from that story, but my wacko brain just saw this idea once I finished reading. Please try and understand this must make little sense, but what the hell.
Please enjoy! :)
In lands of far away beauty, where the sea creeps on the shore, where creatures big and small roam freely and frolic gaily. It is there, in the vast reaches of the world, where the man lives.
Legend has it that he once saved an entire castle full of damsels from a raging tsunami, with his bare hands alone. He carried them on his back, three on each arm! They were eternally grateful; they even began to cheer, "He's the man!"
But he could not stay to bask in his glory, for he had responsibilities to attend to. He left the beautiful women, every one of them crying in miserable pain at his departure. On his big red clogs, muscles large and in charge, he walked his way towards new lands.
It was on his way to a place by the sea where he met a woman, her age never quite matching her appearance. The gallant stopped before the woman, eyes admiring her politely from afar.
"Well hello fair maiden. You, in all your beauty, have drawn me away from my trail and down here next to you. The very sight of you tantalizes me to no end. If I may, dear woman," he leaned towards her, smile warm and charming." Ask for your name?"
The woman, slender and buxom, blushed like a schoolgirl. She batted her long black eyelashes at the hero as he approached, golden eyes glittering in admiration.
"My name, sir," she took a step closer, smile growing as she inhaled his manly musk.
"Is Tsunade."
An excited shimmer of sweat beaded on his forehead, and as the hero managed to take the fair maiden's hand, she kissed him.
It was deep and passionate, like two long lost lovers meeting again for the first time in millennia. It was a beautiful sight, as the gorgeous woman fell over the gallant man.
"Oh great hero, what be'ith your name?" she moaned, eyes transfixed on his face.
"My name," a hefty zephyr blew through the field, shaking his alabaster white locks loose and flying around him. A majestic eagle flew overhead, cawing loud and strong as the man opened his mouth to answer his fair maiden.
"Is Jiraiya."
"Oh Jiraiya, you're the man!"
"Yes, Tsunade. I am-,"
"That's not how it goes, pervert!" a heavy book turned projectile missile sped through the air, across the great and peaceful library and onto the side of a redlined cheek. With a loud smacking sound, Jiraiya hit the floor with one of his big hands clutching his offending cheek.
"There is no gallant Jiraiya or some floosy named after me who just throws herself at the first stranger to speak pretty to her!"
Tsunade was more than livid as she reached for another book, arm ready and cocked for the next throw.
"Shut up! You're just mad 'cause you sound simple and unrefined. I on the other hand, am a gallant savior to hundreds of women, God's gift to the female race."
Another book flew through the air and the corner knocked right in to Jiraiya's cheekbone, most definitely leaving internal damage.
"You're a horrible story teller," Tsunade huffed as she picked up the now wide-awake toddler from his bed and out towards the kitchen for some warm milk. His tiny blond head bobbed on his mother's shoulder as she stormed out, but his big blue eyes seemed to smile back at his father in sheer happiness.
"He gets it."
The child may be anyone of your choosing, wonderful reader.
I thought it'd be cool if I wrote something stupid once in a while, cause I'm always writing deep stuff, I wanted to let loose. So voila!