A/N: Hello. Information about the story: this is mainly about Japan's history and relationship with Asia, especially China, Taiwan, and Korea. It is like a character study, and will be very detailed and possibly depressing. I'm not going to say that I will get everything (history, characters) correct, but I hope I will be able to convey the story well.
I don't intend to bash any characters. Some will show up with a more negative light at times.
Also, I keep changing the summary/cover picture simply because I found a better one/revising. I hope you don't mind.
Warning: sensitive events and history. Don't own Hetalia and anything except for the idea.
If that's all acceptable, enjoy!
無限
endless
I.
黎明
Dawn
His first ever sight of the world is of the verdant bamboo trees. Clustered together and towering above him, giving off a feeling of safe.
The first thoughts he thinks are of his names, details he somehow already knows subconsciously.
Japan. Honda Kiku. He is the land and everything which represents it. In other words, a special existence in this world. Even he himself does not understand how he came to be.
He feels his people, can hear their heart beating along with his, and closes his eyes for a moment, still feeling confusion at his sudden appearance in this quiet forest. When Japan carefully reaches a hand out to touch the land, it feels natural and magical, even though he only makes contact tentatively. The tickle of the grass just feels right and normal, as if there is an invisible connection between him and this earth.
The grass is soft and comforting to him. It would serve as a nice bed.
And a bed it will be. Sleep comes to Japan mere seconds after his birth, and his eyes flutter shut as he curls up in the grass, which is still wet with dew.
He wakes up to a rustling, and jumps slightly when he sees that it is a squirrel. Its small, beady eyes meet Japan's before it scurries away speedily, leaving him alone again, sitting in the cool grass.
"Come back..." I want some company.
But he isn't disappointed for too long. Japan notices that he's wearing a simple piece of clothing, colored dark blue. It's decent enough, and at least he isn't naked, Japan thinks. That would've made warmth a pressing issue for him, when the colder days come, which they will eventually.
It seems to be spring right now. A mild season.
But he doesn't really have much to do right now. Japan still wishes that the squirrel would come back to him. Keep him company. It would be better than being alone right now, in a gradually darkening forest with strange sounds. A variety of noises are popping up here and there. They all unsettle Japan, and he retreats to between some bushes, hugging his knees as he waits for the light to disappear.
But wouldn't it be more frightening if everything is dark?
"Hello. I...am...Japan." Japan makes his first attempt to speak using his still developing language, though there is no one to speak to. It distracts him from the darkening night, and he decides to keep doing so. Then his surroundings won't be as intimidating, since he would be immersed in something else.
"I wonder if there's anyone here." He talks to himself, muttering at first but gradually speaking louder. He continues on, determined to make it through his first night. Even when it's pitch black, and his fear grows, he just closes his eyes to relax. Nothing will happen, he promises himself. Soon enough, it will be morning. Soon.
Japan falls asleep for a little while, and when he wakes, the sky is already brighter than earlier, hints of dawn at the edges of the sky. The chatter of animals are still in the air, and Japan waits patiently.
After what seems like a couple more hours, he watches the pretty yellow circle rise for the first time, giving the world light and gradually vanquishing the darkness. It, the sun, feels like something very important and powerful, and Japan is greatly affected as he watches it, the definition of this strange object imprinted in his mind.
A proud and shining light that takes away darkness and influences the whole world.
I want to be like that.
It is what his name means. Nihon. The origin of the sun. Being called the source of such a glorious thing makes Japan's heart fill with pride. It's as if the sun is really his. As if something so great is his. Someday, Japan will strive to be like the sun also.
To be somebody the world will have to heed and respect.
It takes Japan a lot of effort and time, but he manages to cut off a piece of bamboo after finding and sharpening a stone to serve as a knife.
Somehow, he feels guilty.
"Sorry for hurting you." A bow, and he quickly continues to work. There doesn't seem to be a stream in his current area, so Japan will have to make do with retrieving bamboo water until he finds a better source.
It takes some hours of toil for him to get some water from the plant. It smells decent, and doesn't taste too terrible. Japan gives the water another look, and deems it safe to drink.
Japan drinks slowly, treasuring every sip and the wetness of the fresh liquid. It might be a while before he finds a proper water source, so he should fill up his stomach before beginning to search for it.
After resting for a few more minutes, he begins to walk, passing bamboo and other plants, trying to hear for the sound of water. But Japan detects none, and is soon regretting not leaving placemarks, since he doesn't know where he is going.
Japan feels like he's walking in circles, unable to find a way out of this forest that now feels so massive, like a maze, almost.
Eventually though, Japan does hear a small sound, and he follows the trickling water to a stream so clear, he can see the stones and other things underneath.
Japan cups his hands and scoops up some water to drink. It tastes nice, of victory, since he had put in a lot of effort to find it. Taking a seat on the grass, he watches the stream flow away to...somewhere. To where?
It will go into a river. And then maybe an ocean. What does his land look like? Perhaps he has neighbors? So many questions fill Japan's head.
The water is cool against Japan's hand, and he smiles a little at the feeling, moving both hands to splash the water around a little as he becomes more and more interested in the new activity. Droplets of water fly everywhere, getting on his face and clothes, and he laughs to himself. This isn't so bad.
But Japan soon spots something else—a...fish? He immediately removes his hands to stop disrupting the water and possibly scaring it away, lowering his head to look at the creature, observing it closely.
The fish is really small, and it moves constantly, but Japan still tries to follow it, since he hasn't seen a fish before, with its odd shape and eyes. After a while of thinking, he reaches his hand underwater once more. Japan manages to touch it for one second, only to scare it away.
He himself slightly shocked, Japan steps back and vigorously rubs his hand on his clothing, not wanting to feel the slightly slimy texture of the fish anymore.
It's a nice, cool day, and he lingers there by the stream, lying down on the grass to stare at the sky. Japan brushes his hair out of the way, and focuses on the small, scattered areas of bright blue visible amongst the leaves of the trees. Sunlight filters through, bright but not too bright for Japan's eyes.
What a pretty scene, Japan thinks as he tries to conjure up a term to describe it. Sunlight filtering through the trees…
Komorebi. Yes, that sounds nice.
After a few more days of wandering the forest, Japan deemed eating being vegetarian impossible. There aren't so many fruits and plants around anyway, and ultimately, survival is necessary before acts of kindness.
Japan can't help but give a small exclamation when he finally catches a fish. It struggles wildly in his hands, splashing water on his face and threatening to escape. Not to mention how slimy and cold it feels.
But with the loss of air and passage of time, it soon grows limp, allowing Japan to move on to the next step of making his meal.
"Sorry," he mutters before beginning to clean the fish. Japan tries to make the process as quick as possible, both for the fish and himself. He doesn't want the fish to suffer any pain, and he feels uncomfortable killing it.
Time flies by as a blur, and Japan soon finds himself staring at the small fire he made. It crackles slightly, and smoke is rising, immersing the immediate area in that curious smell. Japan turns the fish around on the stick, waiting for it to cook thoroughly. Hopefully, there won't be anything or anyone who would be attracted to the smoke or the smell.
Perhaps he is too paranoid, but Japan is unarmed and much too defenseless now.
"Itadakimasu." When he begins to eat it, Japan thinks of the dead fish and quietly thanks it for giving its life. He takes a small bite, and is surprised by how delicious it tastes, his mood rising as he chews slowly. It's slightly burnt, but still good.
Fish is officially Japan's new favorite food. He's tired of eating berries and leaves.
Japan is walking through a clearing, on his way out of the forest, when he hears voices. They are relatively close, since Japan can make out some of the sounds and words the people are saying.
Travelers? Explorers? Do they mean any harm?
Very alarmed, he ducks behind a bush, in case anyone sees him and attempts to catch him. Japan's been chased after a couple of times, when he first went outside of the forest and into the world.
But maybe that was because he had been the first to panic and run.
After a while, Japan became more friendly with his people, frequently visiting them, as he was planning to moments ago.
They speak in another language. Different and something that Japan barely understands. There's some older voices, and a younger one that sometimes speaks. The speed of their conversation makes Japan slightly dizzy.
His trepidation fading after some time, Japan steps out into the open carelessly, trying to see where the strangers are. Their voices had just stopped, so maybe they're leaving. Just by their language, Japan knows that they are foreign.
He should probably leave to some location further away from here, but perhaps staying in place would be better. If he moves, he might encounter them if he's not careful. And Japan doesn't want that to happen at all.
He cranes his neck to look around, changing angles to try to catch a glimpse of those people.
In his curiosity, it takes Japan a few moments until he registers the rustle of grass and footsteps approaching.
"Hello."
A voice says something that seems to be a greeting, and Japan instantly freezes, quickly whipping around defensively. Is this person going to hurt him— ...hao? The youth...he's one of the foreigners.
How could Japan be so careless?
The youth's long hair is tied in a simple ponytail, but the green garment he is wearing looks very expensive and stately. Maybe he is a member of royalty? Or the rich?
Japan stays silent for a while, afraid, but the person seems to mean no harm...yet.
"H-Hi," He says in his own language, and the youth nods. It seems that they can at least understand each other somewhat.
"I'm China, aru. China. How do you say it...Chugoku?" He gestures to himself before repeating his name again, enunciating slowly and even saying his own name in Japan's language.
"...China." Japan repeats it after a while, a little surprised when the stranger, China, smiles.
"You must be Wo," he says affirmatively, nodding to himself.
...Wo? A little confused, Japan shakes his head. What is Wo? Does this person perhaps think that it's...his name?
"No? Then who may you be?" China seems amused, which frustrates Japan immensely. He doesn't reply though, still unhappy at being called such a strange thing.
But...Japan can feel that China is similar to him, and he somehow knows inside that China doesn't mean any harm.
"Your reservation is reasonable, considering that you've been isolated for a while," China sighs, and Japan once again looks at China, his clothing made of fine material and his whole person seeming far more elegant than Japan is.
Japan is just a small child in makeshift clothes that can even be called rags, if someone wants to be harsh. His heart fills with admiration again, but he only looks at China with confusion, having barely understood anything of what the youth said before.
"Ni...heli...feng...bi?" Trying out the strange syllables, Japan struggles to remember the whole line, and what he receives is an amused look from China, who chuckles lightly.
"I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to teach you some things, aru. Do you want to come with me to my home?" China speaks slower this time, and Japan is able to recognize the invitation.
He cannot deny how he is feeling. China's the first real person he's met here, and Japan...he trusts him.
Nodding hesitantly, Japan looks down at the ground, feeling a little embarrassed by how inexperienced he is at interacting and conversing.
But that feeling is soon replaced by shock when arms lift him up into the air, spinning him around freely. China eventually stops, laughs, and pats Japan's head, looking very happy for some reason.
"Alright. You'll be my little brother, Wo!" China places a stunned Japan back down on the ground, and he ruffles Japan's hair again.
Despite Japan's annoyance at being called Wo again, he nods after a while, feeling strangely happy also, with a warm and fuzzy feeling inside. He's glad that someone seems so...excited about him, a nobody who hasn't interacted with much of the world yet.
Someday...Japan wants to be like China too. Respectable and strong-looking. And kind too. There's just something about China that differentiates him from what other people Japan has met.
Perhaps it's because of their similar existence as personifications, but he can't be too sure.
"Nii...Onii-san?" It sounds weird because Japan hasn't called anyone that before, but it feels right on his tongue. He has a...brother. That feels good.
"Yes. I'll be your, uh, onii-san. My people say gege, but if that's how you say it, it's fine." China smiles again before holding out a hand, an inviting gesture that causes Japan to blink a few times with bewilderment.
The sun beams down on the calm and pretty day, warming his body and everything around him.
Is this what having family feels like?
Japan looks towards China, and then back at the bamboo forest again. He almost sees the years he spent in this place flash by. Huddling to himself. Catching animals. Even crying sometimes, when he felt alone.
"Nice to meet you, China nii-san."
Japan steps forward and takes the proffered hand.