"Can someone change stations? Because that show is as stale as yesterday's bread." Yakko said with a long groan, when he saw what was playing on the TV that hung over the fire place in the dining area of "Chez Le Pu."
"Just how many times did they have to broadcast that in a year?" He thought with a shudder, dropping a stack of dirty dishes into the cart before him. He hastily dashed through the large swinging doors too the safety of the kitchen. Away from all the prying eyes and away from the questions he was always asked while waiting tables. Most importantly though, to escape from the biggest slap in the face that had ever been aired on TV.
And of course, it had to play on a Friday night during the dinner rush.
Yakko sighed heavily, feeling so annoyed that he pushed on ahead without paying attention and wound up hitting the wall. With a thunderous crash, the mountain of stacked plates came cascading down before he could grab them. The dishes shattered onto the floor, scattering pieces all over the kitchen.
The chef and cook, froze in place from their tasks, and all eyes were on the toon.
Yakko furrowed his brow, scratching the back of his head and he snickered quietly to himself. Yup. It was going to be one of those nights and his shift had just scarcely begun.
"Everything alright in there?"
Yakko snapped out of his daze to see his boss poke her head inside the kitchen. She frowned when she saw the wreckage of broken plates on the checkered floor. With small beady eyes glancing up from under her glasses, she took a step in. The sound of crunching porcelain under her heeled shoes made him wince.
"Uhhhhhhh," He hesitated, as he reached behind himself awkwardly for the broom. "We needed new China anyways."
Abigial remained unphased by Yakko's failed attempt to make a joke. Punch lines like that might have worked with the customers, but it certainly didn't work on her as her expression remained unchanged.
"Oh well" Yakko thought. You couldn't blame an out of work toon for trying.
"Yakko, I don't know what has gotten into you lately, but clean this up right now." She sighed, forcing the creases in her forehead to become more prominent. "And when you're done with that, please, for the love of god take a break or something." She muttered with a wave of her hand.
"Yes, Dear Abby."
"Yakko?"
"Yeeees?" The Warner brother casually smirked.
"Please don't call me that." With a turn of her pointy black heels, she exited the kitchen with the doors swinging behind her.
Yakko tried to settle the weariness in his stomach with a small chuckle. "Might as well get this cleaned up." he thought. And after that he could sneak out the back, have a smoke, and maybe be back just in time for that damn "News reel of the stars" special to be over. Then at least that way, he wouldn't have to entertain the customers with the story of the downfall of his acting career.
"Seriously, Yakko?"
Yakko swung his head up to see Skippy on the other end of the kitchen, sitting on a stack of crates, phone in hand. Shit. He hadn't even noticed he was there. A few years his junior, Skippy was one of his old co workers back in his acting days on the Animaniacs. And here they were, all these years later, working together once more. Only this time the circumstances were much different.
"Hey, Yakko, you know better then to piss off the boss riiight?"
Yakko swept up some of the broken china and threw it into the trash receptacle behind him. "What can I say Skips? It's a tough crowd out there tonight."
" You're telling me! I swear to god if another person asks me to do the where's Bumbi's mom? thing one more time I think I might spew." The squirrel stuck out his tongue to get the point across even more.
Yakko shook his head. "Story of my life Skips, story of my life."
Skippy hopped down off the pile of crates he'd been sitting on. "Ugh,break's over, wish me luck out there."
"Uhhhhh, Good luck?" Yakko didn't mean it though, and Skippy knew it. They both were aware of the things that lurked past the safe haven of the kitchen. He quickly swept of the last pile of debris from the floor, eager to get out. The soup of the day was boiling away on the stove, filling the room with a humid haze.
Skippy adjusted his white bowtie and smoothed his hair over. He gave Yakko a quick salute before stepping out into the noisy restaurant.
Just over the people outside, happily chatting while eating their meals, Yakko could hear a part of the segment. Why didn't anyone change that God damn channel like he asked? He should have just done it himself.
"With the introduction of computer animation, and its rise in popularity, many toons, like the Warner Bros, and their sister found themselves being served layoff notices with no warning at all."
Time for that break.
Yakko crept quietly past the window outlooking the dining area, hoping no one saw him. He turned the corner down the hall and stepped out the back door. The cool air hit his face and he took a deep breath, happy to be outside at last, and not stuck inside the stifling place he now called his livelihood.
Taking a seat on top of one of the trash cans in the dimly lit alleyway, he loosened his white tie. It always was too tight, but if he wore it any looser than that, Abigail would be sure to notice. The strict uniform rules were only the tip of a long list of things he despised about his job. There wasn't a toon he worked with that didn't feel the same way either. To the outside world, being served drinks and food while being entertained by your favorite cartoon characters might have seemed like a great way to spend an evening. But it was a living hell for anyone employed there. But any other places that hired toons didn't even pay close to what he was able to make in tips. As much as Yakko didn't want to admit it, unless he ever got back into acting again this was the only way he could support his family and stay off the street.
He pulled a smoke from his front vest pocket, lighting it up . He had a pack stashed in his locker for occasions like this, and he knew if Dot found them on him, he'd never hear the end of it. Yakko was planning to quit. One of these days.
"Just when did things start getting so shitty? "
He took a long drag off his cigarette, blowing a large trail up into the sky. The toon sat in the silence and watched the smoke swirl further upwards, dissipating into the hazy clouds above.
Maybe it was when, he and his siblings were told that, due to budget cuts, they would be producing half the episodes they normally did in a season. Or maybe when they were told if they wanted to remain in the water tower they would have to start paying rent.
Or maybe it was when Mr. Plotz brought them up to his office years ago, while they were still in their teens and informed them that the days of the animaniacs were now over. It was time for Warner studios to move on with the times. Ratings were at an all-time low for 2d animation and they were beginning production on their first computer animated series. There was no room in the budget for hand drawn cartoons, nobody had interest to watch them anymore. Mr. Plotz had told them, "Its time for you children to embrace the change, and try something new. The director assured them they were more than welcome to remain in the tower, so long as they continued to pay their rent. After all those years on the show, after all that revenue He and his siblings, had brought in for the studio. After all the awards. Mr. Plotz kicked them out after 2 months, because they were unable to find jobs.
Yakko took another puff.
That was 9 years ago.
So where did that leave him now? At 23 years old with no prospects for the future, working the same shitty dead-end job he'd had for five years. At a throwback cartoons restaurant that only hired washed up and out of work toons. Doing the same impressions, answering the same mundane questions, and doing the same dance routines over and over again. Every day, a reminder of the star he once was, and never would be again. He would have left Burbank and all the memories a long time ago had it not been for his younger brother and sister. They were worth it. There wasn't a thing Yakko wouldn't do to help Wakko and Dot make it out there. Even if he didn't.
Yakko flicked what was left of his cigarette into a puddle near his feet and watched it sizzle out, much like his career as a toon. He chuckled to himself in the irony of it all.
Here one minute and gone the next.
"Ummmm, excuse me?"
Yakko jumped up from where he sat when he felt someone tap him from the side.
"Hello?"
Startled, Yakko glanced at the figure. It was a girl.
And she wasn't too bad on the eyes either.
Part of him wondered how a fan might have found their way to the back alleyway but he didn't question it, feeling too lazy to care. He gave her his signature flirty smirk that always got the women going. "How'd you find your way back here? Lemme guess, you snuck in just to meet me?" Yakko joked. He felt around his shirt and pockets, "If you'll just give me a sec, I'll get a pen and give you my John Hancock."
She giggled lightly. " An autograph?" She said in confusion. "Actually all I need is that." She gestured at the trash can he was sitting on top of.
Yakko gave her a puzzled look. "Oh wait, haha, the garbage?"
She nodded with a smile, rustling the black plastic bag in her hand. "Bingo."
"Well, if you didn't want my autograph, babe, all you had to do was say so." Yakko teased, hopping down off the metal canister. He removed the lid while bowing deeply. "And here you are, fair lady."
She tried to hold back a snicker with her free hand as she dropped the bag into the can. "I have a name you know, it's Kori, if you're curious, and lemme guess, you're Ya-"
"Yup, Yakko, the one and only," He boasted, not even noticing he cut her off. "And what brings you out here amongst the rubbish like myself?"
"I, uh, actually got a job at the restaurant next door, been there a few days now." She laughed "I was wondering when I might run into a toon...never in a million years did I think it would be you, though."
"Well I guess today is your lucky day, then." Yakko said slyly while raising an eyebrow.
Yakko took a moment to check out the fellow food server. Her uniform wasn't much different from the one he wore, spare for the fact it was red and done up the front with gold buttons. Her chestnut Brown hair was thrown up in a loose ponytail, with a few stray pieces framing her face. Across her nose was a light dusting of freckles. Her emerald green eyes glanced at him in confusion.
"Dammit." Yakko thought. She was really, really cute.
"Keep it cool." Yakko told himself. The thumping of his heart told him that it was not going to be easy, though. Toons were never very good at hiding their feelings and thoughts, with them often coming out in exaggerated ways. The whole hello nurse thing was funny on the show, but this was real life.
"Umm, are you ok?" She questioned.
The toon pointed at himself. "Uhhhhh me?" He glanced away, hoping she wouldn't notice the sweat that was now dropping down his forehead. He silently cursed the fact that toons emotions showed so easily. "Nope, everything is all good here, just been a super slow shift that's all..."
"Tell me about it."
"Think fast." Yakko's mind raced. "Think of something funny to say to break the awkwardness.
"So, are all the girls working over there as cute as you?"
"Wait. Why say something so stupid? "He sighed inwardly.
"You're still a giant flirt, aren't you?" Kori teased. " Just like the old days when I watched your show as a kid."
"Yeah, just like the old days," Yakko muttered somewhat quietly. He didn't enjoy being reminded of his former career even if the comment had been made by a cute girl.
"Oh poop!" She said nervously, sensing the sadness in his voice. " I'm sorry, If I said something wrong."
"No offence taken." Yakko chuckled, seeing how apologetic she looked over a small comment. He felt almost guilty now. "But oh poop'? Hah, who even says that?"
"Umm I do?"
"Shit. You mean, Oh Shit." Yakko teased.
"Pretty much" She giggled. "I have younger siblings back home that are still in grade school so I'm trying to clean up my language? My parents are always complaining about it. I got a swear jar and everything. My co-workers are always teasing me though."
"Well, if you hang around me any longer you might have to start over." Yakko said sarcastically. "Now wouldn't that be poopy?"
Kori burst into giggles. "Oh my God! you are so much funnier in person!"
Yakko laughed with her, their laughter rising into the cramped alleyway that separated the two restaurants. It felt like ages since he had last shared a laugh with someone and actually meant it. It felt so refreshing, to just have a normal conversation with a person who didn't ask him to sing nations of the world for the millionth time.
"This is so cool!" Kori said cheerfully. "If someone had told me as a kid I'd be sitting in an alleyway behind a restaurant with Yakko Warner I'd have called them crazy."
Yakko leaned up against the wall and pointed at it with his thumb. "If someone told me I'd be stuck working at a joint like this I'd have called them crazy, too."
"Well..." Kori murmured quietly. "At least-"
She never got to finish the thought.
Just then, Abigial burst through the doorway., glaring at Yakko with the same blank expression from earlier.
"Yakko, I said a break? It's been over 20 minutes now."
"I'll be right in Abbey." Yakko reassured. "After all I know my adoring crowd awaits."
"Save the sarcasm for the fans Yakko, that's what your paid to do" She said coldly. " I'll see you inside." Abigail slammed the door behind her, the noise echoing through the brick walls of the alleyway.
The two of them stood in awkward silence for a moment before Kori finally spoke up. "Wow, and I thought my boss was cold? He's got nothing on her."
"My boss is so icy that if she went to hell it would freeze over."
"Hah, good one! Kori remarked. " I'll have to remember that one for later."
"Thanks! Yakko smiled, even though he was feeling annoyed he had to leave. Especially since all he wanted to do now was stay and chat with this girl he just met. "I'm only speaking the truth though."
"Well, I'm sure we'll bump into each other again." Kori said shyly. "And maybe we can gab over garbage again?"
"Sounds like a trashingly good time to me," Yakko winked. He opened the door but hesitated a moment before shutting it.
"Guess I'll see you around then?" Yakko asked with a grin. "I'm out here most evenings."
Kori gave him a small wave. "As long as there's trash to be taken out, then I guess you will."
She walked backwards waving, towards the door of her own workplace and backed herself into the wall. "Oops," She chuckled. Kori reached behind herself blindly for the doorknob.
"Need a hand there?"
"No, no, uh, I got it!" Finally, her hand made contact with the door and she awkwardly opened it. "Have a good night Yakko, and it was awesome to meet you."
"Likewise, Kori" He grinned, and he gave her a small wave before she stepped out of the alleyway,
When Yakko walked back into the kitchen, a lineup of orders was already on the warming shelf, ready to be brought out. The kitchen staff had been cooking up a storm.
Skippy gave him a confused look.
"Dude, what's with the dorky grin?"
"Uhhhhh, no reason really." Yakko said dreamily.
"Yeah, ok then." The squirrel rolled his eyes. "You might wanna bring extra napkins over to table 14." Skippy warned him. "This monster of a kid thinks it's hilarious to spit juice at the toons." Also, there's a table of crazy fangirls that just walked in. They asked for you specifically."
"All in a day's work, my friend." Yakko smiled while patting his co-worker on the back. "Let the games begin."
Yakko tightened up his bowtie once more, and grabbed the large tray of orders for table 14. He stepped out into the dining area of "Chez Le Pu." with a large smile plastered on his face. Only this time it wasn't as fake as it normally was. The restaurant was packed to capacity, with toons running all over the place trying to meet the demands of the hungry crowd. But for once, he wasn't feeling as bitter about it. He quickly served the table their orders, then waltzing over to the table that had asked for him. It was a typical scene. Three women in their early thirties who could barely contain their excitement.
"Helloooooo Ladies!" He chimed, " Yakko Warner here, and welcome to Chez Le Pu! Can I start you beautiful women off with some drinks?" He pulled a notepad out of his vest pocket to write down their requests.
"OHHH MY GOD ITS YAKKO GUYS!" One of them screamed. "CAN I TAKE A SELFIE WITH YOU BEFORE WE ORDER?"
Yakko did his best to smile sincerely at their request. Even though he was so tired and done with all this, maybe, for tonight at least, he would make it.