Little Piranha of Horror
One night, in Mario and Luigi's house…
Mario: Hey Peach! Wanna play? I've got BREAD!
Peach (reading a "Vanity" magazine): I'm busy. Go play in traffic.
Mario sadly walks off to see Yoshi, who is eating.
Mario: Hey Yoshi! Whatcha doing?
Yoshi: Bug off, Mario! I'm busy!
Mario storms off to Luigi's room.
Mario: Hey Luiiiiiiiiiigiiiiiiiiiii!
Luigi, who was watching TV, simply closes the window.
Mario sadly walks in the street.
Mario: Why won't anybody play with me?
He notices a huge twinkling in the sky.
Mario: Oh, mighty wishing star, I wish I had somebody to play with right now!
The star suddenly rises and lands – straight in the garden, the shock wave knocking Mario to the ground. The song "BRAINS!" by Voltaire starts playing as Mario peeks out from behind a bush. He finally gets the nerve to actually look at whatever is lying in the crater made by the crash, and sees a green ball that turns out to be Petey Piranha's deformed version as seen in Mario Pinball Land.
Petey (to the song's rhythm): Well hello there, Mario! Now don't be shy! Step right up, I'm a reasonable guy! Don't be scared, my appearance's no lie – I turned into an evil meteor from outta the sky!
He proceeds to grab Mario's head, and, with his tongue, search inside his head for his brain. Upon finding nothing, he puts him down.
Petey: Well, I'm just shy and scared in this place – I'm just a fish out of water from outer space! You can see that the trip has left me tired and drained, so why don't you be a pal… and bring me some BRAAAIIINSSS?
Mario: Ok!
Petey lifts him out of the crater and puts him on the floor.
Mario: Don't worry, new buddy! I'll get you all sorts of brains!
He goes to his house and brings back a box of "Bran" cereal to Petey. He looks at it blankly, then at Mario. He tosses the box away and pulls out an encyclopedia to show Mario the brain and its location.
Mario: Ok! So where do I find these so-called, "brains"?
Petey: Go down to Luigi's place. See the dull expression on his face? You'd be doing him a favor if you brought him to me – he ain't using his brain, he's just watching TV!
Mario pulls Luigi to the crater where Petey rests. Luigi looks at Petey, startled, but before he can utter a word, Petey inserts his tongue through Luigi's ear and pulls out his brain, leaving him stupefied. Petey eats the brain, and continues talking to Mario.
Petey: Go down to Princess Daisy's. She hasn't had a thought since '43, her brain is the portrait of atrophy – She ain't using it, why not give it to me?
Mario takes Daisy to see Petey, and he eats her brain as with Luigi.
Petey: Brains, brains, I won't lie! I'll eat their brains 'till they're zombified! Sure, they might think it's deranged – but they won't give it a thought after I've eaten their brains! Brains, brains, it's ok! It's not a matter if it isn't grey! And if at first they think its strange, they won't think twice if they don't have a brain!
Mario keeps dancing to the music, along with Luigi, Daisy, and a notably bigger Petey, who slaps him with an arm to urge him on.
Petey: Go down to the Mushroom shop, my Super Mushroom tells me I just can't stop! I lick the noodle right out of their heads, and half an hour later I'm hungry again!
Mario lures the customers in the Mushroom shop (Bowser, Wario, Waluigi, King Boo, Big Bob-omb and Goomboss) to the spot where Petey was, and he licks their brains out and eats the brains. Having done this, he grows bigger and bigger.
Petey: Go to the other Mushroom stop, sneak in tip-toe past the cop, pick me up a 1-Up and a Golden or three, and all the Mega Mushrooms you happen to see!
Mario takes the Toadette behind the counter and Birdo to the spot where Petey is.
Petey: Brains, brains, I won't lie! I'll eat their brains 'till they're zombified! Sure, they might think it's deranged – but they won't give it a thought after I've eaten their brain!
Petey eats the brains of Birdo and Toadette, growing bigger still. A Monty Mole in a policeman uniform peeks out from behind a bush, and, upon seeing the huge Petey Piranha waving his body and singing, shoots at him with his gun, but his hands tremble so much that he just can't hit Petey.
Petey: Brains, brains, it's ok! It's not a matter if it isn't grey! And if at first they think it's strange, they won't think twice if they don't have a brain!
With this, Petey inserts his tongue through the Monty Mole's ear canal and eats his brain. The music continues playing as Mario takes Wayoshi and Toadsworth to Petey and he eats their brains, and then he takes Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong to Petey as well, and the action is repeated.
Petey: Brains, brains, I love 'em, I need 'em, my tummy jumps for joy when I eat 'em! The big ones, the fat ones, the short ones, the tall ones, they're so delectable – especially the small ones! No time to cook 'em in a skillet, my belly's rumblin', I gotta need to fill it, I don't fry 'em, the heat'll only shrink 'em, I just take my trusty tongue and I drink 'em, oooohhhh!
All this as he sucks the brain out of the 8 Koopalings, Bowser Jr., King K. Rool and Boolossus. Then, Petey grew at an enormous rate, while all the characters whose brain was sucked out (and Mario too) danced to the tune of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" (Of course, "BRAINS!" is still playing). Suddenly, Peach looked up from her magazine and saw the colossal Petey Piranha dancing along with everyone else.
Petey: You've been swell to go around, and bring me every single brain in town – but with all these brains I can't help but think that there isn't one left out there to drink!
Petey points to the zombified crowd behind him. Peach puts down her magazine and goes to see Yoshi, who is so stuffed from eating that he is just slumped on the floor, fast asleep. Then, she turns to see Petey again.
Petey: Now fess up, man! C'mon, heck! Is there someone that you're trying to protect? Well bring her down here to meet her and then I promise I'll be your bestest friend!
Mario happily danced while he walked towards the castle.
Petey: Brains, brains, I won't lie! I'll eat her brain 'till she's zombified! Sure, she might think its deranged – but she won't give it a thought after I've eaten her brain!
Mario bumps into Peach before he even gets close to the castle. Seeing her, the silly smile on his face was wiped clean off.
Petey: Brains, brains, it's ok! It's not a matter if it isn't grey! And if at first she thinks it's strange, she won't think twice if she don't have a brain!
Peach walks sweetly to Petey, whose tongue is twitching eagerly and his jaws are gaping.
Petey: Brains… bring me her braaaiiin… bring me her braaaiiiin… bring me her braaaiiin! Mwahahahahahaha!
Peach: What's going on here?
As soon as she says this, Petey's tongue snatches Peach's brain out and he eats it.
Mario (seeing the stupefied Peach): Peach?
Suddenly, Petey stops dead. He begins to give off a sweet scent, and he panics.
Petey: Aaah! What's happening! Ugh! Sweet! Uuugh!
Petey begins to bloom flowers from his arms, and his petals turn pink and grow larger. He also starts to give peaches from his body.
Petey: Ugh! Help meeeeee! Aaaaaah!
With this, Petey's head shrinks into the large petals, and in an instant, he is gone. Suddenly, Peach's head pops out in the middle of the pink petals, where Petey's head once was.
Mario: Peach! Is that you?
Peach: Yes. I guess my brain was too sweet for Petey, whom, if I may add, you tried to feed me to.
Mario: I'm sorry… can I do anything to make up for it?
Peach: Yes. Bring me… some brains.