LIFE IS PERFECT!
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The cherry blossoms had already started to bloom. With every strong gust of wind that shook the marvelous trees; it seemed that the whole city would be buried in a beautiful sea of different shades of pink leaves. For it was the season of life as many a poet would call it and the trees had bloomed so beautifully this year that even the old man who was removing the fallen leaves from his yard could not help thinking that it was such a waste to throw these pretty things away.
'May I not drown in this sea of pink', Natsuki said to herself as she walked towards the tall antique building of the university. She had been dismissed early today for some reason she did not care to understand. Hearing the words "Classes are suspended" was enough for her, and she was in fact the first one to grab her backpack and exit the school's premises without objection. She stood up and walked away from her rusty old Ducati in a fast paced manner, towards the entrance of the university. She passed the erect bronze oblation, walked across the solemn halls, passed door after door, classroom after classroom until she reached her destination: a quaint classroom with aged cream colored walls filled with a hundred vandalisms about nasty professors and many 'I love you Fujino sensei's which were written in black and red pentel pen ink.
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"The modern criminal justice system delays the implementation of capital punishment as compared to the immediate execution of capital punishment during earlier times. Does this delay have some effect in the efficiency of capital punishment in maintaining social order and in preventing crime?"
"I think so, Fujino sensei." Came the meek reply.
"Ara…then please cite empirical evidence, Satoshi san."
"I believe the news reports speak for themselves, sensei."
"How about during the second world war, Satoshi-san? Did you not consider life during war time? It cannot be denied that poverty drives even young children to commit heinous crimes such as petty theft. And did the implementation of severe capital punishments during those times lessen the crime rate?"
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Creeakkk! The old, wooden door swung open and Natsuki stepped in. Her blue sneakers squeaked against the white marble floor of the classroom.
"It seems that we have a new student!"
"I'm just going to 'sit-in'," She replied as she glared at Shizuru. 'What is this woman up to – AGAIN?!'
"Mhmm. That's perfectly fine. But please introduce yourself." Fine! She thought to herself. So she wants to play teacher eh? I'll stick around for a little while.
"Kuga Natsuki from the Department of Physical Sciences and Mathematics," She replied huskily as she searched the room for a vacant seat. Aha! Third row, fifth column.
"Welcome to my POLSCI 14 class, Kuga-san!" Shizuru happily announced as Natsuki sat down on the dark green desk. Natsuki dropped her black bag pack to her right as she fixed eyes with her temporary 'sensei'.
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She glanced at the four corners of the weather-beaten classroom; and scrutinized every single crack on the walls that her vision swept. She laughed inwardly at the desperate vandals of 'I love you Fujino-sensei's' and privately cursed all the love-struck faces of the pathetic students who sat up straight on their chairs and nodded intensely whenever Shizuru passed them. Inside their hearts, there was always this faint hope that the very beautiful Fujino-sensei would notice them and by some miracle fall in love with them.
'Dream on you crazy little fucks', She hissed at them while Shizuru gracefully wrote short lecture notes on the boards. Shizuru went on babbling and writing until it was 3:30 and the students bid their gorgeous sensei: 'sayonara Fujino-sensei!' 'Take care alright?' to which the ever perfect Shizuru Fujino would reply to with a gentle 'Ookini' or a 'take care to'.
She knew that Shizuru was hers and hers alone, but still the fangs of jealousy sunk deeply into her heart whenever Shizuru would smile sweetly at her fans. She argued that it was: 'A psychological effect of losing everyone and everything that I held important!' : A hypothesis that Shizuru always disproved by the simple antithesis: But I am still here.
Shizuru turned around to face her; the brown chestnut locks swirled due to the gust of warm summer air that whistled through the slits of the windows, the lavender dress flowed and shaped to the voluptuous curves of that lithe, fit body.
"Natsuki." A toothy smile – a smile that shone of pure, sweet, sweet love. That's right…that smile was hers and hers alone. That smile was flashed for her only.
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Traffic was a killer. The main road was filled to bursting with cars that were seemingly infinite in number, so Natsuki made a sharp turn by the corner, towards the shortcut were the sharp, small pebbles of the unfinished pavement battered the motor bike's tires. Soon the rickety ride ended and they were once again sailing smoothly across the hard, dark, sea of cement; passing towering buildings as they zoomed through the urban jungle.
As the home bound journey progressed, the fortress like buildings shrunk into quaint, dainty apartments, and then later, the apartments were reduced to sorry excuses for refuges that certainly would not pass as safe bomb shelters. They stopped by a parking lot took their helmets off and walked towards their small, aged, three story apartment.
The two women entered the wretched establishment, climbed the creaking earthquake ravaged stairs up – Up! Towards the third floor – second door from the right whereupon Shizuru took out the keys from her wallet and opened the door.
Natsuki instantly slumped on the dusty lavender sofa and Shizuru sat by her side and stroked the tired, weary head that gently rested itself on her lap.
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"You know Shizuru, I seriously hate it when you act as if I'm a complete and total stranger," She grimaced upon remembering the sea of pathetic, smiling faces that were on the verge of swooning whenever Shizuru innocently giggled in front of them.
"Is that so? My…And I thought you were enjoying yourself. So how was my lecture?", Shizuru asked with a devilish smile on her face.
"Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass about anything that you said. But still, you were good."
"Ookini, Natsuki." She bent down and gave the reddening cheeks under her a sweet peck.
"How was school?" Shizuru asked as she continued to stroke the raven colored tresses that formed swirl patterns on her rose colored skirt.
"Terrible. I went to class for nothing. Everyone joined the rally at the American Embassy so classes got suspended."
"Ahh yes…That rally. Many of the Political Science majors absented from the classes of the other professors, but surprisingly, all my classes have perfect attendance."
"It's you that the students are after! Not the lecture!"
"Ara…well I suppose I should be flattered by that," Natsuki rolled on her side to face Shizuru, whose beautiful facade was hovering above her like a goddess in the skies, "But then I don't know if I should be offended that it's me that they're after and not my lectures."
"They're after you because you're pretty and smart and because you're an excellent professor who makes the most complicated subjects graspable."
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Shizuru gently lifted Natsuki's head off of her lap then brought it down to rest on the sofa before she stretched her own body on the soft sofa to lie down beside the most important person in her life. And then she was face to face with the person she chose to spend her life with – and even eternity: if life after death truly exited. And she pressed herself against that warm, warm body that took her in with arms wide open – sharing the sofa and wet, passionate kisses as the heat of afternoon sun seeped through the window's broken glass and through the holes on the tattered roof, just as the seething heat of desire seeped from their bodies and drenched them in each others' sweat as they continued to kiss each other whilst locked in sweet passion's embrace.
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It was a moonless night and the neon colored signs and stoplights glittered triumphantly as the city veiled itself with the night's shroud of darkness. The city smelled of a hundred burnings: the salty scent of fried street food, the contagious vapors that vehicles excreted, the white smoke of the cigars that people exhaled as they walked on the shaded pavements and crossed the shadowy streets.
"Kami no..." Shizuru said in disbelief.
"Shizuru what is it?" Natsuki asked with in a worried tone.
"What the fuck?! We only have 2,000 yen in our bank account?! Seriously?!"
"Hai, Natsuki. We're seriously bankrupt."
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The wind blew against their faces in mockery as it took away the receipt from Shizuru's pallid hand. Natsuki wanted to throw her tantrums at the blasted ATM Machine: the herald of poverty, but Shizuru stopped her by insisting that she was hungry although the truth was that the dreadful news ruined her appetite. Nevertheless, they walked back towards the parking lot
"We're broker than ever! Holy shit! We've been broke for the past four years but shit we were never THIS broke!"
"Calm down, love. I'm sure we'll get through this. My monthly wage is due next week."
"This is all his fault! H-he was supposed to take care of me until I graduated from college –Oh! That stupid, useless fuck!"
"Forget about him, Natsuki. He isn't the only one who has neglected his own daughter…"
"Selfish, dirty asshole! He left me and my mother and ran away with some ugly bitch, getting fat, fat, fat along the way. I bet his gorging himself with his ill-gotten wealth right now while his fucking that ugly-"
"Now, now…Natsuki let's not spoil our evening."
"Oh shit…now I'll have to work on fucking holidays just to get a raise."
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They drove through the streets; passed familiar buildings as the rusty old ducati zoomed through the dusky streets of the city. The neon lights blinked at them as the city glowed furiously in electric glory. They raced through the night, through the conundrum that is life; searching for solutions, asking rhetorical questions: 'why us?' 'Where did we go wrong?', 'how?' as a million 'should've would've could've's chased their sanity, and questioned their consciences through that short ride home.
The scent of a million burnings clung to their bodies as they wearily climbed up fragile stairs of their cheap apartment. The scents released themselves and wafted in the dusty air of the dusty room as the two women entered the small space with heavy hearts and clogged minds.
A somber silence fell over them as they gazed at each other with unblinking eyes.
'Shit!' - A silver spring tore its away across the white cotton guts of the jumped and gashed through the lavender skin as Natsuki quickly sat down on it's dusty body.
Shizuru carefully sat beside Natsuki and cautiously awaited for another spring to come forth. But only small particles of dust made their presences known when her body finally rested on the sofa.
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"Natsuki," Shizuru said as she snuggled closer to her adorable Natsuki.
"Shizuru, do you regret all of this?"
"All of what? What exactly are you talking about?"
"This relationship…we were so young, so careless…we thought the world should just go and fuck itself and we rendered ourselves vulnerable to all it's venomous shit."
"Natsuki…everything – every bad thing that happened was unexpected. I did not expect my mother to slap me and disown me when she realized that I was a lesbian."
"And I thought…I thought that Dad cared for me…that he would at least wait for me to finish college before he would stop providing for me…I-"
"Everything was unexpected."
"We should have waited! We should have contained our feelings until we were ready to stand on our goddamn feet!"
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Silence.
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"You're saying it's my entire fault, then." Shizuru said toneless as she gently pushed herself away from Natsuki.
"I never said that!" She tried to pull Shizuru back. But the brunette was now standing by the glassless window pane; staring out in the dark, moonless night.
"But I was the first to-"
"And I said I love you to! I also admitted! I wasn't able to contain my feelings to! So…so it's not your fault, Shizuru…it's not."
"I'm sorry, Shizuru…"
"None of this was our fault, right?" Natsuki continued as she walked towards Shizuru.
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But there was the guilt again – and it was knock, knock, knocking on the doors of her mind like the devil himself when one has done something so horribly wrong and the red, pointy-tailed bastard just keeps reminding the sinner that he is damned, damned to burn in hell and suffer! And this thought haunts the sinner throughout his dreadful life. Shizuru knew deep within herself that she was simply denying their errors, that she was using all her logic and political theories to justify their careless, immature little blunder.Kami! It was as if she had never heard of the word homophobia! She acted as if she had her parents – those 'well bred' and virtuous people in Kyoto, where not homophobic, that they did not detest same sex relationships.
But she thought about it once more, as she relished the sweet luscious lips that were kissing her with much fervor. She arched her back against the pleasurable caresses of Natsuki's fingers.
And she realized as she stared into the teary viridian eyes underneath her - that she knew it all along! That she never shunned her eye at her parents' bigotry. She merely hoped, wished, prayed with all her heart that they would learn to love, they would learn to accept her and her dear, dear, beautiful Natsuki, who was now panting aloud in the darkness of the room as she sucked on the delicate flesh of the younger woman's neck tenderly.
And what was wrong? How could these sweet, sweet sensations be wrong? How can love be evil? How can love be twisted? And she realized as she sank her fingers into the slick, velvet folds of Natsuki's womanhood, that they we're indeed innocent!
For when was the truth ever false? When was reality ever a lie? And she kissed passionately – hungrily. She drank down the moans that came out of the wine tasting lips underneath her and inhaled the delicate scent of femininity as she trusted her digits in and out of that searing core.
And is not denial the same as lying? and isn't lying considered to be an heinous sin? Why it was atrocious to paint another picture of reality and show it to the cold, cruel, judgmental world and pretend - pretend that she was someone else! And to deny such pure, such sweet, such true romantic love was to damn oneself! to damn oneself! And Natsuki drowned the guilt - that false guilt away with her kisses and with her moans.
"Ah! Ahh! Ahhh...Shi-Shizuru!!"
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And the night was still young, and the city of a million deadly sins continued to burn in electric glory and the humid winds howled like wolves as they blew across the city. The winds whistled through the broken windows and glassless window panes, seeped from the cracks on the brick walls of the room while multicolored alien-neon lights oozed from the holes of the tattered roof; illuminating the dust and turning it into candy fireflies with it's artificial radiance.
"I'll be teaching up to six o'clock from now on, okay? more classes means more money."
"Mhmm..." Natsuki purred into Shizuru's right ear.
The termites gnawed on the antique wooden floors of the apartment and the rats nibbled on the left over sardines by the kitchen's counter as their eight unwashed clothes waved like water as the summer winds entered the room through the glassless window panes. But neither one of them minded, for both were too busy listening to each others' breathing and each others' heart beat. The darkness of the room, of the dirt-caked walls, embraced the two lovers as the lights of the sinful city and the shadows of the scattered unpaid bills danced upon their naked, sweat covered bodies- locked in passion's sweet embrace.
Now they had lost everything and they had but themselves to cling unto. And the world had conspired against them: drowning them when it rained and burning them when it was sunny. And dreams were shattered, dreams were lost, childhood visions fluttered away into the wind like dust mites. Nothing turned out the way they wanted to but still had each other - to love and to love more and more until the conundrum that is called life passes!
And Life was Perfect.