"Where the hell'd you hide it this time, rust bucket?" Beast Boy was not amused. After waking up and coming down to fix breakfast for the team, he had found his tofu gone from its previous place of residence and Cyborg attempting to keep a straight face. Problem was, he was about as skilled at holding in amusement as Beast Boy was with cleaning his room. Raven just rolled her eyes; she had given up trying to shut the two up.
"Like I'm gonna tell you? There's a REASON why I hid it! That crap is a crime against nature!" Cyborg exclaimed. "Beast Boy, you could try looking before you start bitching and moaning. Might avoid a lot of this," Robin said, looking up from his paper with a hint of amusement and annoyance. "Shut up and fork it over," Beast Boy said, picking up on Robin's incrimination. Robin finally reached under the table and tossed the box at him.
"Thanks a lot," Beast Boy muttered some other incoherencies but went back to his breakfast. After they had finished eating, they went off to their everyday routines; Raven went off to her room, and Beast Boy and Cyborg headed for the common room. Robin had been tricked into shopping the mall with Starfire, which partly accounted for the tofu incident since Beast Boy was the one that had set him up.
And so, the day seemed to pass normally. Well, if you consider Beast Boy getting tossed out of the tower for "accidentally" going into Raven's room normal, which actually was fairly common. However, later that night the crime alarm went off. "Trouble downtown. Looks like Mumbo," Robin said tersely.
"TITA-Mhphmps," Robin's usual battle cry was muffled by Raven's powers. "That line's getting really old. It just sounds stupid; we already know what to do. Also, you can quit the 'Titans, move! Titans, attack!' crap," she said as she flew by. Robin ran out of the tower with an annoyed look.
"Whooohoo! Mumbo, JUMBO!" A voice sang as the Titans neared the scene, landing themselves on an overturned car. "Mumbo, do we even bother having to fight, or can we just call it a gimme on this one?" Robin asked amusedly with one eyebrow arched.
"A gimme? That's golf, kid. Nothing to do with my field, really. But enough of the chat; time for your grand finale! Mumbo, Jumbo!" The blue magician exclaimed, pointing the wand in his hand in the Titans' general direction. "Titans, m-," Robin started, but Raven again shut him up with her powers.
"Whatever. Yah!" The Boy Wonder yelled as he jumped up from the trunk of the car into a downward axe kick. "And for my first trick..." Mumbo trailed off as he raised his wand. "A rubber balloon poodle for the traffic boy!" He finished, materializing an oversized balloon poodle underneath Robin. "Whaaa!" Cried Robin as he bounced off and rammed head over heels into a nearby building.
"Let's see you poodle this!" Cyborg came charging from behind Mumbo, sonic cannon at the ready. "Hmm, you're right. Balloons aren't going to cut it here. Hmmm... I know! Mumbo, Jumbo!" Mumbo exclaimed, as Cyborg's cannon changed into a bunch of roses. The half-man looked down in disbelief at his new garden of an arm. "You can keep those," Mumbo said as he narrowly dodged a starbolt.
"Hah! Hah! Hah!" Starfire yelled, each holler accompanied by another bolt. "That's a good trick you have there, but mine's better!" Mumbo proclaimed as he pointed his wand at Starfire. Suddenly, green rabbits flew out of Starfire's hands. Starfire's eyes widened in shock, but she quickly recomposed and fired her eye lasers... except that only resulted in green doves. She let out an "eep!" As she retreated.
Raven flew up in her wake. To Raven's right, Beast Boy as a pterodactyl beat its wings, ready to strike. "A lovely couple you two make. But I can make it even better!" Raven blushed, in a combination of both anger and embarrassment. "Mumbo, Jumbo!" A blast of pink energy sent Beast Boy packing towards Raven, and the Azarathian found herself on a similar crash course courtesy of a white blast.
Raven braced for impact, but felt nothing. Opening her eyes, she didn't see Beast Boy. She spun, expecting to see him crash into the building behind her, but she didn't see that either. She whirled back to Mumbo. "What the hell? Where's he at?" She wondered. Mumbo was practically dancing, partially in glee and partially because he was being assaulted by birdarangs, sonic blasts and starbolts.
Finally, he took a patented SonicBoom dead on and was taken in. "Where's the grass stain at?" Cyborg asked Raven, having seen him and her together during the fight. "You tell me and we'll both know. Mumbo tried to ram us into each other with energy blasts, but I never hit him and when I opened my eyes, I couldn't find him," Raven responded, somewhat worried.
"Alright, split up and search the area. He could have hit a building and become disoriented, might've gone flying off at random. Can you track him, Cyborg?" Robin asked. "I should be able to. He's got a really unique signal thanks to his DNA makeup. But I'm showing nothing. That's just plain strange," Cyborg finished.
The team straggled in at about 3 AM. They had spent the entire night searching the city, both above and below to no avail. Although they were all concerned, they resigned to telling themselves that he'd be alright and going to sleep. After all, Robin had reasoned to them, they'd be of no use to Beast Boy searching for him on no sleep.
Despite this, Raven was still laying in her bed, waiting for sleep to come. Thoughts ran through her head almost too quickly to register them. What if he got knocked out and something ate him? What if he flew out into the road unable to think and see straight, and got hit? If he's dead, it's my fault. Wait, what the hell? I couldn't have prevented it! Damnit, yes I could have. I could have hit Mumbo before he could attack. Wait, why in the name of Azar am I so concerned about this? This is Beast Boy. I don't care about him. Wait, yes I do. As a teammate of course. Nothing more. Goddamnit! Now I'm having to defend myself from my own mind! Raven sat up and sighed. She looked at her window, considering flying out it and continuing the search. However, before she could finish the thought, she was out cold.
Raven woke up the next morning at 8 AM. She sat up, and something instantly felt strange. For one thing, she felt...lighter. Like her movements had become more liquid. She shrugged it off. However, just as she did someone knocked on her door painfully loud.
"OW! Knock a little softer, it's giving me a headache!" She yelped. "Uhm, I barely tapped it. Sorry. I was just letting you know breakfast was ready," Cyborg said through the door. He shrugged and continued on.
"Tapped it my ass. He doesn't know his own- what the hell?" She had felt her leg rub up against...something. Or rather her inner hip felt it. She made her way from her room to her bathroom, her steps feeling oddly smooth and lithe. Entering the restroom, she looked at the mirror and screamed. Loudly. Loud enough for everyone in the tower to hear.
"What the hell?" Robin yelped, having shot straight up along with Starfire and Cyborg. "I shall check on her," Starfire said with concern in her voice. She floated to Raven's door and knocked, resulting in another yelp. "Raven, are you-" "I'm fine! Sorry, I-I'll be down in a few minutes!" Came Raven's voice. Starfire's eyes great wide. She had heard fear ringing clear in her dark friend's voice. And when Raven was scared. everyone else should be running for dear life.
Meanwhile, Raven was having the worst kind of freakout. "Oh, HELL no. I'm going to wake up any second now." She pinched herself, unable to accept what she saw. She had transformed into a male overnight. And worse, her skin was tinged a light green. "What the fuck?" She wondered aloud. "Yeah, that thought crossed my mind too." Raven's eyes widened further. Her lips had moved, and her voice had just spoken, but she hadn't done it.
"Ok, what in the name of all that is holy is going on?!" She cried. Again, her voice spoke without her consent. "Well...I have a theory, but you're not gonna like it... Look, this is Beast Boy. Call me crazy, but from the looks of it I'm inside your head. Or maybe you're inside of mine. Either way, this isn't your body, nor is it mine. I'm pretty sure Mumbo fused us, Raven."
Raven's eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "WHAT?!?!?! No. No. This is NOT happening. Please God, Azar, Satan, I don't give a damn who, this is not happening," Raven was pleading. "Meh. Too late, it already has. Looks like we're trapped in this body for a while," Beast Boy used the body's vocal cords to respond. "Ok, Raven, breathe. In...out...in...out..." she said to herself, trying to calm down.
"Ok, we gotta figure this out," Raven spoke. "What's there to figure out? We're both stuck in a body that consists of elements from both you and me and for whatever the hell reason we're a male." Raven cringed at that last part. " Well genius, let's see. Do we still have powers? Are we stuck like this forever? Am I going to have to watch you- well, us, I guess,- strip naked in our male body when we shower?" Raven was beginning to sound hysterical. "Raven, relax. I feel ya, but going insane isn't going to help us." Beast Boy tried to reassure her. Raven nodded and looked in the mirror.
Raven studied her-well, their, rather, body, starting from the top. As she noticed before, her- no, our, Raven reminded herself, skin was a pale green color. Her chakra had been retained, still set firmly in her forehead. Her violet hair and eyes had stayed as well. However, their chest was flat and muscled. A six-pack was also visible, but looking down she saw exactly what her -no, their hip had felt earlier-the evidence that they were, indeed, male. Further down, she noticed that they were supported by a pair of well-toned legs and, to her anyway, alien-like large feet.
Their toes, or more precisely their toenails, caught her attention though. Where hers were- well, used to be- rounded and smooth, these were slightly longer and hooked. It looked as if she hadn't cut her nails into about a month. Noticing this, she also realized that her fingernails had undergone a similar change. She hung her head, groaned loudly, and started to take a shower. However, halfway to the shower she froze. "Ok, shit. We've got to discuss this now." "Heh. This should be fun." She had heard that from in her head, and is actually sounded like Beast Boy. "Huh?"
"Wait, did you hear that?" It sounded like Beast Boy's voice. His normal voice, as opposed to him talking through the mouth of their new body. "Yeah, I did. Any chance you're hearing this?" She waited, hoping that maybe her telepathic powers had at least been retained. If that were true, they'd be able to converse without sounding like a nutcase.
"Erm, yeah, I'm here. I'm guessing that we're talking on the Azarath calling plan?" Beast Boy laughed mentally. "Something along those lines. Look, we need to figure out bathroom regulations," she "said", blushing physically.
"Alright here's the rule. I think we can both control this body. That means a couple of things. First, we have to agree on anything before we do it. We can't afford to be fighting for control." Beast Boy began. "Agreed. Continue." Raven thought that sounded oddly logical. "Second, since we're a guy I should probably take care of showering, using the restroom, etc. etc.." "Sounds logical." She said, again thinking it odd that Beast Boy could be so quick to adapt.
"Ok. So...I guess you just kind've think happy thoughts or something while I shower?" Beast Boy laughed nervously. Raven sighed, looking at the shower as if she expected Slade to come out and claim her for Trigon again. Beast Boy took control and jumped into the shower while Raven tried to blank herself out. It wasn't working, so she began trying to get some of her favorite music stuck in her head. Again, she couldn't ignore the fact that she was watching a guy showering. "Although..." If Raven would have had control, she'd be grinning deviously. She decided to see if she had retained her telekinetic abilities as well as her telepathic.
She waited until Beast Boy reached up for the shampoo, giving both of them sight of the bottle. Raven waited for her moment, imagining the bottle exploding and... "Gah!" Beast Boy spluttered aloud, covered in shampoo. From inside, he heard Raven laughing. As in full-blown, hysterical laughter. "Wow. That's possibly the most immature thing you have ever done. Not to mention the first prank you've pulled on me. Since when do you do immature pranks?" Beast Boy tried to sound serious, but he couldn't hide the humor in his voice.
"Who, me? I was just trying to test out my telekinesis. See if I still had it. I have no idea at all about what you're talking about." Raven tried for fake innocence. Beast Boy sighed. "Let's save the playtime for after we figure out how the hell we're going to tell Robin and the others." Beast Boy said in an extremely Robin-like manner. "Sir yes sir!" Came the sarcastic reply. Beast Boy sighed again and rinsed himself off, then went into Raven's room to get dressed. "Let's see. Blue cloak...blue cloak...blue cloak...where the hell's that white one you had, Raven?" He wondered aloud. "It's in the back, second shelf. I don't wear it very much, but..." Raven trailed off. Beast Boy groped around, finally finding the object of his searching. He pulled the leotard over his head, swept the cloak around him and cinched it closed. "Alright Robin, prepare to have a heart attack," he thought as he trudged downstairs.