Author's Notes: This is a little special Valentine's Day pressie that I've made for my dear since I know it's something that (I hope) she will like. Happy Valentine's my love – enjoy...
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Him & Her
He couldn't think of anywhere else or any other time that he could be feeling any worse at that present moment in time. It wasn't guilt or shame or depression or anything that related to that spectrum of negativity. No, this time, it was fear – but not just any regular fear. This time, it was a mixture of shyness, confusion and even curiousity – all hidden underneath a blanket of his personal fear. Then again, this was nothing new – this had been going on for quite a few months now.
The teenaged Kyle Broflovski had been working at the girls-based "fun" Raisins for just over two years now. The first year had been a nightmare for him. Being the only GUY working as an all-round entertainer in the place, he had suffered his share of criticism and abuse from not only the girls he worked with at Raisins, but also the other guys who would come in every night. If they weren't chatting up a few of the girls, shoving dollar notes down their pants or suggesting what they'd like to do to them with the food they were playing with, they were messing with Kyle's emotions and feelings and at times, taunting him. But Kyle couldn't help either his feelings or indeed, his sexuality. Though what he thought would be his advantage, as days passed, turned out in his opinion, to be his major disadvantage.
There would never be a week that would pass by where a guy would pretend tp try and hit on him, tease him a little, build up Kyle's excitement a little and right at the end, his hopes would be shattered by an outcry of laughs and taunts from these groups of morons and idiots. From what had happened in the past, Kyle had learned to ignore everyone that attempted to even talk to him in that place. If he had a choice, Kyle would be out of there within a flash, but having evil, disrespectiful, clueless parents and a lack of anywhere else to earn a living, this hell-hole of half-naked girls and explicity-based entertaining seemed to be the only place left in the World. And at $20 a week plus whatever tips he got, it was the only decent wage in the whole region of his hometown and beyond.
But tonight, for the first time in quite some time, the depressing and foul situation of his current life, wasn't the current subject that was flowing through his head now. No, instead, it was something of a much confusing level. Over the past couple of months, Kyle had heard of a mysterious stranger walking into the restaurant, going over, doing something and then immediately rushing out within a flash. It seemed too odd to be of normal standards, even in THIS of all places. It had everyone of the staff talking behind the bars and around the tables – everyone knew about it. But it was Kyle who knew about it more than others. Because...it was Kyle, who this mysterious stranger was after.
"8 o clock at night...just like always." Kyle whispered to himself – looking up at the bizarre-looking clock hanging on the wall. Wearing nothing but an orange and cream 'Raisins' shirt, a tightly fitting pair of orange short-shorts, orange high-socks and a pair of daft roller-blades on bare-feet, Kyle leaned himself up against the opposite wall – hoping that this 5 minute break for once actually meant...A BREAK.
Every night he would stand in exactly the same place and look in exactly in the same direction and angle in exactly the same position at exactly the same time. He could be doing other better things with his break-time, but then again, why bother? It wouldn't have made a bit of difference, he believed. But for that one moment in the entire night, the job would get a bit more confusing and curious. For when Kyle was arching and leaning his body up against the side-wall and looking down without a care or snippet of focus in sight, he would feel a small piece of paper enclosed around a single dollar bill quickly shuffled into the right side between his shorts and his torso.
The dollar bill wasn't surprising one bit, but it what was written on the note that caught Kyle's attention every single night. Slipping it out of his shorts and feeling the paper material rub against his smooth torso, he would look at the note and read the following words:
"I know how you feel..."
"I know how you feel?" Kyle would always question – throwing the note into a bin and quickly getting back with what he was paid to do. Yet the question would still remain on his mind – its confusing and slightly worrying tone. Even the thought that someone actually knew about him somehow was scary in itself and he didn't even WANT to think about the slight possibility that he was being watched...or worse, followed.
And yet, even after his shift, the question would still pick away at his brain every night afterwards. Who? Where? When? How? Why? None of it made sense and Kyle believed that it never would. He had the feeling that for the rest of his time there, he would continue to be teased and bothered by this mysterious stranger and his or her message of unidentifiable curiousity. Well...not tonight!
"7:59" He whispered again – looking back up and making sure nobody was around...yet.
To his left, the toilets, to the right, the bar and the kitchen and in front of him, a blank corridor. Every few seconds he would check the area behidn him – the opening back out into the main area of the restaurant. His back was to it, but it was exactly what he wanted and in the other's case, it was what he or she wanted as well. So in both terms, they were getting what they wanted.
"Ten...nine...eight...seven...six..." He counted down in his head – watching as the small arrow slowly moved back up to point 12. "...five...four...three...two...one..." The clock struck 8 and there was the typical silly noise of party bells from the clocks around the restaurant which made Kyle feel a little uneasy – knowing that he bracing himself to the point where any movement or presence of anybody else would set him off.
The corridor was silent and his body froze into a statue – all he did was wait and more wierdly, hope. A small breeze whistled past Kyle to his right. He dare not look back – any indication of his awareness would almost instantly give his disguise away. He remained frozen in place. He started counting foot-steps – estimating how many it would take to walk from the restaurant front door to where he was at the moment. 27 he counted, and he was already up to 19. Whoever was coming was certainly taking their time, he thought – realising that now, he was PRAYING for this stranger to show up.
The area went silent – his mind frozen in focus. And without warning...it happened. Kyle felt a quick flick of friction on his shorts and without warning, his right arm flung around his body – grasping the hand of the stranger behind him. But upon spinning back around to take the full view of the mysterious stranger, his arm was pushed away and the stranger escaped his grasp – dropping the note and dollar and sprinting back out the door. All Kyle could see was the back of the stranger and...HER...hair flicking across in the above lights. But it was no time to get analytical, this was his only chance. Without thought, Kyle flicked off his rollerblade shoes and ran out after her much to the shock to everyone around him who simply stood or sat in bewilderment.
As soon as Kyle was outside, the darkness overwhelmed his light-accustomed eyes. His feet touching cold icy paving, he spotted the girl sprinting away in the distance down the road and immediately, Kyle gave chase.
"HEY...YOU!" He shouted as he watched the figure disappear further into the darkness. "WAIT...STOP!" He shouted again – his bare-feet taking much more pain than usual. "OW...Goddam it!" He would shout now and again – sprinting across an odd piece of stone or God knows what.
Yet as the streets got more darker and the surroundings much more emptier, Kyle still had his focus on the girl just in front of him on the border of the darkness. From closer inspection, the girl appeared to have quite dark hair – long in length and flowing easily in the cold breeze. The minutes passed and Kyle kept up the chase. By the looks and sounds of things, he had run further than expected and was surprisingly back in the residential area of South Park. But his surprise at this was his down-fall as without warning, Kyle slipped and crashed down onto the snowy grass by the side of the pavement. After feeling the full force of the icy ground and looking back up, all he could do now was look onward and watch as the female stranger sprinted off down the street and out of his vision for good.
"SHIT!" He cursed - punching the snow with what energy he had left. His only and probably, last chance to find out who this stranger was, had ran off away from him.
Later that evening, after finishing for the night at Raisins, and in result, receiving a shouting from his boss and a wage deduction, Kyle returned home. Shutting the door behind him and placing his jacket on the coat-hanger nearby, he quickly made his way up to his bedroom.
"Oh Kyle...there's a visitor waiting for you upstairs." His mom shouted from the living room.
"A visitor?" Kyle wondered – walking up the stairs and getting ever-so curious as he moved upward. Walking to his door and slowly rotating the door-handle, he opened it and carefully entered his bedroom. There was no sign of a visitor – the room was quiet and empty just like it always was. He closed the door and began to walk over to his bed.
"You ran pretty good back there..." A voice called from behind him – frightening Kyle a bit and spinning him around. The voice was that of the female stranger from before, only this time, Kyle could now finally see who his mysterious stranger was. Dressed in nothing but a shirt and skirt, the girl walked over from the side of the door to where Kyle was stood.
"Who are you?" Kyle asked in a slighly annoyed tone.
"Who am I? Who do you think I am...or haven't you been paying much attention the oast couple of months." She winked.
"No...I mean...WHO...are you!?"
"OK...OK...no need to get all moody with me." She walked over to Kyle's bed and made herself comfortable on it.
"Hey, that's MY..."
"Oh come on...don't you let ANYBODY sit on your bed?" She giggled – patting the area to her left to which Kyle rolled his eyes and sat down next to her. "Now then...what would you like to know first."
"Well...how about...EVERYTHING..."
"Oooooo...you ARE a fiesty one, aren't you."
"Don't get smart with me..."
"...I know, because you're quite an intelligent person yourself aren't you?" She giggled again. "Alright...you want to know everything..." She made herself comfortable on his bed, much to Kyle's annoyance "I've been watching you for quite some time..."
"Yeh, I could have guessed that myself."
"...but, have you ever wondered WHY I've been watching YOU...of all people?"
"I can think of quite a few reasons, actually."
"Well...there's something that I've wanted to tell you...something that means so much to the point where I finally want you to know..."
"Oh...and what would that be huh?" Kyle's obvious annoyance of this surprised her slightly.
"Isn't it obvious? I presume you've been reading my notes for the past few months, correct?"
"Yes...and for the past few months, I've been really confused too."
"Well...the truth is...I...I...I have...a crush on you."
"You...you what?" The response startled Kyle.
"That's right...I have a crush on you...well..." That one extra word made the startling statement even more surprising. "I..." She couldn't finish her sentence – something on her mind was keeping her from finishing her sentence.
"Still..." Kyle drove te focus back to the present moment. "YOU...have a crush...on...ME?" He still couldn't believe the statement she had made. "Why?! Of all people...WHY?"
"Because...well...I just...I dunno...I just...love you..."
"No reasons, huh? I would have guessed that – I guess there is nothing to love about me. Admit it, you're just saying this to make me feel better. You know deep down that there's nothing remotely likeable about me."
"That's not true..."
"It IS true..." He collapsed on his bed again – hands covering his face. He hadn't put any thought into the position he found himself now on his bed. Lying down and seeing nothing but a dark blurry wave, he tried and failed to get his head around what was happening tonight. He still found what this girl was saying to be impossible and unbelievable in the highest of manners – not just because it was too much of a shock to take in, but there was another reason for why Kyle couldn't accept this.
"You can't love me..." He spoke with his hands till over his eyes.
"What?" The response she gave didn't sound as if she wasn't startled though.
"I said...you CAN'T love me..."
She lay down next to him – making him wiggle a little away to the side. "But why? Why can't I love you..."
He looked at her. "If you know me as you TRULY say you do..." He sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "...then you'll know why I wouldn't want to be with you anyway. You – not as a person...but as a..." Sighing again, he looked away – feeling ashamed about what he was about to say. "...as a girl."
Somehow, she knew exactly what he was talking about, yet this seemed to attract her closer towards him rather than repel. Out of nowhere, Kyle's vision was blocked by her shining eyes looking down at him. "Kyle...I know you have...different attractions than other guys..."
"Different doesn't even come close – I'm ashamed of being who I am and how I think."
"Why? Why are you ashamed...it's who you are Kyle, there's nothing wrong with you being the way you are."
"But my
parents and people, they've all..."
She shushed him and looked
down. "Don't let them get in your way. You can't let others
force how you live your life."
"I don't let others force me and..."
"Don't you?"
"Yeh..."
She looked away – not believing the answer he constantly gave her. "Well...I think you do. And I'm here to tell you...you shouldn't let them."
"But what do you care? You just said you know that I'm..." He still couldn't find the confidence to say it.
"...Gay?" She said it without fear – making Kyle sink into low confidence and a mood that she could tell. "Hey...it's OK..."
"No, it's not...and anyway, why are you even here if you know that the only people I'll ever have a crush on are boys? You're a girl!"
"I know...but..." She hinted at smile. "...how do you know that you're not...y'know..."
"What?"
She opened her eyes and looked back at him. "Bi?" And the answer just made Kyle feel even more low about himself. "There's nothing wrong with that either."
Kyle started to feel different slightly. "But...it just...doesn't sound right."
"But that shouldn't make a difference...I still love you no matter who you are."
"Even if I'm gay."
"EVEN if you're gay...well...let's say bi." She let out a small smile.
"I don't know...it...it just doesn't feel..."
"Right?"
"Well..." He let out a huge breath and sighed – unsure on what to think anymore. "I just wish things weren't so complicated and messed up for me. Why can't things just become normal and happy for me? Why is it always me that the bad things happen to? Why is it that nothing in my life has gone right?"
Out of nowhere, she kissed him on the lips. "Because it's NOW that things will go right for you." Kyle simply lay there looking up at her – realising that something inside himself had been triggered.
Whatever had happened within that short spell of a few seconds, he didn't know – something that was actually positive and bright for the first time in a long time, was finally building up. He was trying to deny what his mind was telling him though – at the same time, something kept saying to him that this wasn't right. But it felt too right – something and someone positive had finally shown themselves in this dark misery that his life was and it was a rare occasion in his point of view for someone to show so much care and so much compassion for him. Even his parents never showed this much true compassion to make him feel better about himself over the years, and yet here was this girl who he'd barely seen in person for an hour, that had made him feel a whole lot better about not just himself but his life overall too. Suddenly, this dramatic change in events in his present life was making him feel a whole lot better.
And suddenly, he felt like that there was only one thing left to do. This time, much to her surprise...Kyle...kissed her. But it wasn't just a quick contact. No, this was a much longer and loving kiss – something which she found surprising yet didn't refuse to accept. And just as he broke away slowly and looked back up at her, all she could see finally on Kyle's face, was a huge smile and a lazy set of eyes.
"Happy now, I see."
"Absolutely." He responded – his smile lighting up the gloomy dimness of his bedroom.
"What made you change, hmm?"
"Well..." He pulled her in closer towards him and kissed her again. "I've finally realised something..." He began taking off his white and orange Raisins shirt – keeping close hold on her.
"Oh...so you finally know that you don't have to worry about anyone else making all the decisions in your life for you?"
"No..." He followed up by taking off his orange shorts and socks. "I've finally realised that I can be whoever I want to be without letting people hurt me. And it starts here...with you..."
"With...me?" She smiled – hoping the answer would be the same as the one in her mind.
"Yes...with you...as my love..."
"Oh...Kyle..."
He remembered something. "What's your name by the way?"
At first, she felt uneasy about letting him know, but she felt that it was what he deserved for turning his entire character around. And it made her happy knowing that she had made Kyle happy again anyway. And so, she looked down at him - eager to take her own clothes off too and to lay next to him in a deep hug, and spoke in a soft voice. "My name...is Karen."
"Oh...well...Karen...all I can say...is that I love you..."
"W-what?" His words had startled her and seeing this, Kyle's feelings and mood had changed to the point where he knew that this was the one to be with and he knew now that it was time to change his life around and to live his life in positivity rather than negativity. And keeping the one person who had made him this way, happy too, was something that he was more than delighted in doing for the rest of his life.
"I said..." He moved even further closer to her – whispering in her ear. "I...LOVE...YOU...KAREN..."
She blushed slightly – the words and even the voice sending her into a state of melting into his arms. "And...I love you...TOO."
And it was with that, that she moved into his arms and the two simply lay in bed together – time now becoming an ignored fact for them now as the reality around them just melted into a soft and gentle surrounding of love. The seconds became minutes, the minutes became hours and it wasn't long before the sight of one another faded away into endless dreams of romance in their sleeps together.
The night was long but the romance remained all the way through. He moved into her and she moved into him and no matter what the time during that night, the love was still present. And it stayed there within the darkness of the night for as long as those two had their dreams.
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...The Next Day...
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The smile was still present on his face – the covers half-covering him and his naked body scattered and angled all over his half of the bed. As the morning sunshine broke through his window and onto his face, for a second it felt unwelcomed. The endless dreams of love he was having were something that he didn't want to end, but as the light set on his face, it broke him away from the dream World and eventually, he opened his eyes. The room was brighter and much more positive feeling than the previous day and he hadn't even looked to his right yet – to something that was even more positive in his life now. He smiled and let his eyes set on a lazy arch again. But just as he twisted his body around and moved his arm over to the other side of the bed, his arm surprisingly dropped quicker and onto the emptiness of the other side of the bed. His eyes shot open and he looked over. The other half of the bed was empty – only he remained in not just the bed, but in the entire room also. He spotted that her scattered clothes from last night had disappeared and his floor was spotless once more from her presence here.
Confused, he got up and walked over to his table – suddenly spotting a flickering piece of paper folded up on the corner of it. Slowly reaching for it, he folded it back out and saw that a message was written on it:
-Dear Kyle-
My sweet sweet dear. By the time you read this, I will have already gone and most definately be further away than you could possibly imagine. I must thank you for last night for more than just the obvious reasons. Like you, I have felt so unloved and unwanted by people around me and what I thought were friends.
Thanks to you, I feel much better about myself and how I see the World. But last night wasn't all about me. No, far from it. Yes, I may not be in your bedroom and I may not be looking back at you with the same smile as you probably showed when you woke up, but at least I know I've finally fulfilled something that I've wanted to achieve ever since I found out about you. Like I said, I've known about you for quite some time and I've known the pain and emotional feelings you've been going through both from personal experience and from observations. Last night was all about making you feel better about yourself – making you smile and making you happy for who you are and what you want in life. Like I said, you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are because I'm not and I never will be.
I was so proud of you for who you were even before we met – you're one of the kindest, honest, most respectful and yes, cutest guys out there and you shouldn't let it go to waste. There are tons of just-as-great girls...and yes, boys who I know from the bottom of my heart that you could find as your perfect one. Don't deny yourself from finding happiness just because of what's happened in the past. Let the past be the past and let the future become whatever you want the future to be. It's in your hands now Kyle...and I hope that you're new-found happiness will help you to find the one you've been hoping for for so long.
Will I ever return, I hear you ask? I don't know – all I care about is knowing that you're happy...but if it means that my presence will ruin your happiness with someone, than that's something that I could never live with. Just promise me this Kyle – find someone, hold onto them and never let go. Do that and you will make me happier more than even I've been. Always remember what I told you – be proud, not ashamed. You are who you are and there are people out there who are happy for who you are.
-Yours Lovingly,
-Karen-
For days, all Kyle could do was re-read that letter and wonder if what she wrote would come true. Yes, he felt happier about himself, but he never presumed that she would just disappear away from him for good and leave him alone again. He was uncertain again – thoughts rushing through his head a hundred miles an hour.
He was back at Raisins again – working another ridiculous long shift. "Hey, Kyle...get out there, there's a table out there with your name on it." The leader-girl shouted at him, driving him away from his thoughts and back into reality.
He set his present mind back to this table of boys that he would have to listen to and take orders from. He looked forward. Surprisingly, it wasn't the same old typical group of brainless morons coming in just to see the endless row of tight clothes and large tits on show. No, there were only two guys at this table – one scruffy-haired blond in a Parka and a black-haired nervy-looking guy at the edge.
"Hi guys..." Kyle spoke just as he was supposed to.
"Ummm...hi..." The nervous-looking guy responded.
"So...what'll it be?"
"Ummmmm...well...ummmm, I only came in to errrr...ask you...something..."
"Umm, well I'm sorry, I don't really answer questions. If you have anything you'd like to address, you'll ahve to speak with our..."
"NO, I mean, I want to speak to YOU..."
"Huh?"
"Will...I mean...can...NO...ummmm...oh goddam it...can I talk to you afterwards during your break...and...y'know...get you a drink or something...OH JEEZ..."
Suddenly, the penny dropped in Kyle's mind. However this guy wanted to show it, there was something going on that led him to believe that this guy had his eye on him in a different way to all the other idiots. However, he didn't want to let his guard down. "Well...OK..." Since it was the automatic answer that all Raisins workers had to say. "... One drink...I have a break at 1, so come back and find me then..."
"Oh...ummm, great."
"Good...OK then, see you later..."
"Oh wait...what's your name...if you ummm, don't mind me asking..."
He turned around and smiled at him – much to the boy's surprise. "The name's Kyle."
"Oh...great..." Finally, the guy smiled back. "...my name's Stan."
And as Kyle turned back around and walked away, the smile on his face just wouldn't go away. Although it was too early to tell, he had a feeling that at last, after so much pain and so much stress, THIS was the start of something completely new – something which would at last bring that much needed happiness into his life. And as he walked away, there was only ONE name now that was going through his mind – STAN.
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