HEY READERS ITS RAVEN HALLOW AND I WOULD LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR READING THIS
UMMMMMMMMMM…...

DISCLAIMER: I do not own death note -is owned by Tsugumi Ohba- or "hate me" –owned and sung by Blue October- you'll have to listen to the song sorry but i was told that i can't use lyrics to songs in this or they will report me so...please don't hate me.

WARNING: * T for cussing character death and suicide
*this is one part of the story this is a two shot but it will be another story with a different song
*THIS IS A SONG FIC
*GUY LOVE DON'T LIKE THEN DON'T READ
*ALSO THE 'Alphabet' is a computer chat room read my other story to understand this :)
*UNBETA-ED please someone be my beta TT-TT /3
Ps I will get back to writing/editing "blood raven of death" soon since school is almost over :) I still need a beta! Thank you –runs off with a tied up Matt- :D

That night that horrible night changed everything that he knew about his best friend/ love of his life. Mello wishes that it was all a dream but waking up to a empty bed shows he had messed up –no he fucked up and fucked up big time- and the saddest part of all is that he is alone every night crying in this corner remembering everything not even the medication could dilute his memory.

Matt sat next to Mello not looking at him for sometime before Mello spoke up "Matt….you should hate me for everything. I didn't do that I told you that I would."
The red head shook his head in disbelief as he wiped the blood from his lip wincing as his hand barely brushed his bruised cheek but he listened to Mello's rant.

"I said that I would give up drinking and stop hurting you when you prevented me from starting fights that would get me killed… and how did I repay you when you tried to save me from myself was hit you. I told you that I didn't care if you died but you stayed with me no matter what the hell I did or said. Matt I know that you love me but it would be good for you...if you –if you just left me and never came back…. I won't blame you if you did."
Matt frowned at what the chocoholic had said yeah he was hurt but his expression that showed he felt betrayed was more painful than any punch or bullet hole could ever hurt him. Matt stayed with the blond because he loves him -even if the blond doesn't love him back and only abuses him- but he still loved Mello no matter what the hell happened.

Mello looked at Matt waiting for him to get it threw his thick skull that he should just let him go. Once Mello say that Matt had removed his orange goggles from his emerald eyes he knew that the red head would not leave unless… before Matt knew what happened he was sprawling off the couch and on to the floor of their mafia base. The throbbing pain of a punch the blonde had sent to his jaw. As the red head got up to see Mello frozen in the same position –with his arm extended fully and his hand in a fist- Mello saw that the red head was trying to hold back tears of pain and…sadness. The blonde had to hold back the urge to go and comfort the ginger, but he knew if he did then this would only get worst later. Mello unfroze and collapsed on the couch in front of him.

The red went to go and sit next to his lover but stopped when he was face to face with the barrel of Mello's gun. Matt sighed as he heard his angel cocking the gun as he told Matt "Leave before I hurt you and you can't recover from it…. leave I don't want to hurt you any more Matty" Matt shook his head with tears at the corner of his eyes and whispered "How could you do this to me Mels? I love you! I gave you everything! I gave everything up to be with you… I sacrificed everything and I don't regret a DAMN bit of it because I got what I loved the most in return...you I got you Mels!"

Mello pressed the barrel to Matt's temple and repeated "Leave Matt... Hate me today… tomorrow I don't fucking care if you hate me for all the things I didn't do. For your damn sake, Matt, hate me in as many fucking possible ways that you can think of." NO MELLO I'M NOT GOING TO HATE YOU!" screamed Matt, but to no avail as Mello continued "I know that's going to be the hardest for you to accept but you have to hate me so you can finally see what's good for YOU not me…." And with that Matt ran out of the base and to his car with tears tracking down his face.
As he drove away the auburn vented to no one "I'm going to drive so fucking far away from you, Mello, and then you might -no- you won't think of me and then maybe, Mello, you can then forget me enough to forgive me for leaving you." Mello watched as Matt, his Matt leave. Mello waved good-bye with a heavy heart, in the direction of the smoke cloud that Matt's car created as he drove off.

Three months later Mello was sober. He stopped drinking the minute that Matt had left. It hurt too much to keep breaking a promise that he had made to his red head. Mello had also given up drugs, violence, the Mafia, and most importantly and regrettably his childish competition with Near with the hopes that Matt was going to come back. He knew everything that he did had torn them apart and he vowed never to touch any of it again just in case Matt could somehow find it in his heart to forgive him for everything.

Mello sighed and looked at the little apartment that he now lived in, yeah it was a nice place but it did not feel like home. None of them did unless that one special person was there with him. Sighing again Mello looked at the computer and two laptops on all three devises were a picture of the red head but the picture, partly covered up by cases about missing people, crimes, and terrorist attacks from all over the world. Since Matt, left Mello also gave up on being number one and beating the albino at everything. Instead, he focused his time on solving cases that L was too busy to solve himself.

Mello turned on the voice scrambler and spoke in Russian to a police officer about the murder of a twelve year old boy explaining that it was… Mello zoned out while explaining but the case was 'closed' and the murder was behind bars. Mello did the same with the rest of the cases shutting down the computer once done leaving all but one laptop off. With the one he logged into the Whammy's house 'Alphabet' system and wait to see if the other M would get on but like normal only L, W, and N were on. Mello was about to get off when he got a message from N. Mello would have typically ignored it but since he was now friends with him he decided to open the note it read…
"Come to 1789 north L.A. Street California tonight at 8:26 pm I have something that might interest you.
-N"
Based on the computer clock that gave him five hours and it would only take thirty minutes to get there.

Mello arrived at his destination -which was a giant mansion- right as it turned 8:26 pm as soon as the paused at the black metal gate the doors slid back allowing him to ride his motorcycle up the gravel driveway. Mello stopped at the bottom of the steps to park the bike before he proceeded to walk up the stone steps.

A beam of light brightened the dark porch as a tall lengthy figure opened the door- the shadows concealing his features-. The figure stopped –lighting his cigarette- when he saw the blonde-haired male on the porch and before the figure could say anything a smaller figure brushed past him to greet Mello. As the smaller figure approached, his features cleared up and reviled that it was Near. Mello was about to as what was going on when Near answered what he was thinking "Mello I've noticed that you have been worried about Matt since he has left you three months ago. Well I just wanted to show you that he is safe and if I might add…..happy where he is at now." And as if on cue the said red head dropped his Zippo lighter and walked forward slowly muttering "no…no…no ….NO this can't be it just can't. You were supposed to forget me Mello and never think about me ever again…no…no… Near MAKE THIS GO AWAY! I can't take it anymore it hurts too much!"

Mello stood helplessly as he saw the strong willed ginger break down. He never wanted this to happen he only wanted what was best for his friend – no… that cannot describe him any more - he was his best friend and the one he loved with all of his heart but he gave him up hoping that he would get better…but he didn't he only got worse.

His shock melted into anger. "How could he do this? How could he go to the damn sheep?" Thought Mello before he yelled, "Matt how could you, how could you do this to me? How Matt…how? Matt you promised that you would only love me you said that …you would stay no matter what I did so… WHY, why Near? Mello's voice faltered, "Why the sheep of all people you could have picked, Matt…why did you choose him?" Mello watched as Matt gave a small smile as he awkwardly whispered "Because Mello… he cares about me…he actually made me feel like I'm need and loved not thrown away once I'm not useful…like you did….I'm sorry Mels."

Mello's face fell at Matt's confession. He never thought that the red head felt like that but it then dawned upon him, "Matt, I'm sorry I promise that I have change….I've been working hard at it ever since you left…I've given up drinking, drugs and I've given up the whole Mafia." Said the flaxen-haired male urgently, "I've given it all up just to get you back…so please Matt," Mello got down on one knee and pulled a box that he has kept with him since Matt left, "will you please come back and be mine again?" As Mello said that, he opened the box to reveal a ring.

Matt's breath caught in his throat but ultimately he started to shake his head "N-no….no M-Mello I can't… not after what you have done. Y-you'll just have to hate m-me…so please hate me today, t-tomorrow…hate me for all the things and ways… th-that drove me to say no to you…I loved you Mello but you….messed up too bad for me to forgive you this time." Matt's voice broke, "M-mello I have found some on that makes me happy. I-is that not what you w-wanted me to do? Are you n-not happy for me? So Mello will you p-please l-leave and eventually you'll see that this is g-good for you and me and who know you might find someone that is better than me…so I guess that this is good by Mels" ,whispered the auburn male as he turned toward the boy that was sitting on the top step quietly.

With that said Near started usher, a crying Matt back into the house but neither made it into the house as two shots rang out in the silent night fallowed by simultaneous thuds. Mello watched as the two boys fell to the ground, and as blood pooled from a gunshot wound to the head of each boy. Mello stared in disbelief at what he had done. The M1911* was then was turned and pressed to his own head just as he had to his love three months ago. Mello closed his eyes -BANG-. The boy fell to his knees next to the ginger's corps. The blonde-haired male desperately slipped the ring on Matt's cooling finger and kissed his lips tenderly with the last of his energy, before everything faded to his memories of him and Matt saying "pick me …pick me… Mello pick me…yeah I can't believe that you pick me …I'll always pick you from now on no matter what Mels."

*M1911 = is a type of hand gun that takes a .45 bullet they are the most commonly used gun with over 2million made and the 1911's version looks like the one that Mello used.
^-^ ha I did my research! LOL! Thanks for reading –Raven Hallow