Remember this is FemShep and Samara fanfic, this might be a long fanfic, since I'm planning to make this my main story, or maybe not, who knows where my mind will take me. – Anyway, this is after the all battles the mass effect went through, this is after Mass Effect 3 ending, and in this fanfic Shepard isn't dead that's for sure, she remains in coma for five years, yes way more time than the first time, and people are losing hope. – Let's see what shall happen now.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Regrets

Citadel – Huerta Memorial Hospital

"You need to understand we done everything we could, and we have stated this before that there's no way she's going to wake up. She will live only because of the all machines she's connected to, but she won't ever wake up again, the damages on her are too great." This was Miranda Lawson's voice, she was talking about her commander, Camilla Shepard, and her health state. But who was she talking to?

"Bullshit, cheerleader! You were the one who brought Shepard back to life before, you can do this shit again, why are you giving up, huh?!" Yes, it was Jack, it seemed the subject zero was protecting her commander, and protecting her own heart by not accepting there's no hope for Shepard.

"Jack try to understa-"Miranda tried to speak, but Jack spoke again.

"No, I won't understand shit! Shepard is there, she will wake up, and she will give you a fucking big lecture for giving up on her, you watch and see!" Jack said with a huff at the end of her words while she spoke again "Samara tell her that Shepard will wake up! You think that too don't you? Nobody will turn off those fucking machines!"

Yes, Samara was there as well, always distant though, seemed to be in her own world, and didn't want to be bothered by anybody, like she was meditating but standing up and watching everybody. "I don't know if Shepard will wake up.."

"What? You giving up on her too?!" Jack shouted at the justicar.

"I'm not." She said with a firm tone, as she looked up at Jack and Miranda. "I just don't know if she will really wake up, but I pray for her, and I hope the goddess hear my prays. I'm not losing my hope and faith either." Samara sounded the calmest person out here even considering the situation they all were in.

"In another words...no turn off the machines, got it?" Jack said as she eyed Miranda, with a deadly glare. Jack was being very protective over Shepard, which didn't surprised nobody now, because Jack changed a lot, still with her curses time to time but her personality is way better. What isn't so great is her bond with Miranda, after some wild nights and even after sharing their true feelings towards each other, things got very shaky when Jack got herself more focused on work, and stopped paying more attention to Miranda, hell Miranda didn't paid much attention to Jack either, everybody was always in their own world hoping everything would be better, everybody wanted Shepard back, and since they are trying their best to bring her back, they forget about their own lives, and are giving their lives to bring Shepard's back.

"Going to take care of reports." Miranda said in a low yet angry tone towards Jack, before leave the hallway from the hospital and go to another room where she could discuss more things with the doctors and wonder how she will keep this going on. It's not cheaper to keep treating of Shepard, even though everybody wants to help out the saviour of the galaxy. Her body still had wounds in the inside, and its acting horrible towards the medicine they put it in her, something is setting it off, and Miranda figured it was because of the Lazarus Project.

After the two women were done arguing Samara turned to look at Jack before speak calmly. "I shall return to my meditation." She turned around and stepped back to the room where Shepard was being taken care of.

Jack huffed out, and controlled her shaky hands as she left the hospital as well, going back to work with Captain Bailey. Yes now she's working there and will handle every criminal that tries to push the limits, she's also taking care of few reports which is something that bothers her a lot, but it's actually good enough to keep her mind off the problems.

Flashback – Before the final battle

"I came as quickly as I could. What's wrong?" Samara asked as she stepped in the room.

"I didn't mean to worry you. When I saw you were on the Citadel, I wanted to see you again." Shepard said as she watched Samara.

"We said our farewells, Shepard."

"Are we going to stand on formalities?" Shepard asked raising her hands a bit as she turned around walking up to a picture window. A very odd looking one.

Samara looked at Shepard and began to follow her quietly.

"These big pictures windows remind me of our talks in the Normandy's observation lounge." Shepard spoke as she looked at the pictures showing up.

Samara was now standing beside her, staring at the pictures as well. "This view doesn't have quite the same effect as a galaxy of stars, but I can see where it might make one sentimental." Then she turned to face the spectre and spoke again. "I also enjoyed our talks, Shepard. Very much."

Shepard took a step forward while staring at Samara. "I'm really glad you came." She said with a small smile, before continue. "Oh, look what I found: an old issue of Justicar Heroes, May 2140. It says that you personally lifted fifty refugees across a raging floodplain on Nevos after smuggles blew up a den." She was reading this information from her omni-tool

Samara looked away for a quick second before speaking "That "news source" has been known to exaggerate." She said with a tone that seemed she felt a bit shy or uneasy about the matter.

"So you didn't almost drown while saving a child who had been torn from her mother's grasp?" Shepard asked her perking up an eyebrow.

Samara simple looked away again, and smiled a bit at the thought of such memories, then she looked back at Shepard.

"Amazing." Shepard turned off her omni- tool.

"You have made me blush, Shepard. Not an easy feat." Samara said while her teal cheeks were turning slightly purple for few seconds.

"I've missed you. I was surprised how strongly I felt when I saw you on Lessus. I still care for you." Shepard spoke while getting herself closer to Samara and taking her hands on hers.

However Samara acted completely different, she looked down at their hands while listening to Shepard's words, then she simple removed her hands from hers, and turned around, stepping away from the commander, she was totally about to leave if Shepard didn't stopped her.

Shepard grabbed her arm gently, forcing her to stay and look back at her, yet Samara remained with her head view down, not daring herself too glare at Shepard. But the spectre remained with her eyes on Samara's face. "You told me once: "in another time—another life." Well, times are different. Everything has changed." Then with a firm tug, she brought Samara back closer to her, having their chests now touching slightly each other. Samara was forced to step forward and remained closer to the woman who was once her commander.

Samara gulped and looked at Shepard in the eye, before look down a t her lips and start speaking. "This is unexpected. I don't know that my answer can be different, Shepard. But you are correct; my way of life is dying." That was right, Samara is already a mature adult asari, and she isn't getting any younger that's for sure.

"We've already lost so much. Let's embrace the way we feel right now." Shepard said with a firm tone and a small smile.

"Your point is well made. Still, I must honour my code and make no promises." Samara answered as she began to stare at Shepard's hand. Even after hearing Samara's words, that did not stopped the spectre from doing what she wanted, she leaned in towards the asari's head, slowly brushing her lips against hers, before finally kiss her, their kiss was loving and calm, lasted couple of seconds.

"Samara..." Shepard whispered against Samara's lips.

"Just hold me now. Let us live in this moment." The justicar's voice sounded a bit shaky, her feelings were finally being shown, and she didn't wanted this moment to disappear, so she wanted to make sure Shepard held her, and made sure nothing would drift them apart.

Samara was sitting down on the floor from the hospital room where Shepard stayed; the justicar was meditating, with her eyes glowing into a brighter blue colour, while her biotic aura stayed around her. Meditating was supposed for her to keep her mind from thoughts and the real world, but this meditating was only bringing her memories back she had with Shepard, specially the best moment she had with Shepard, which was their first kiss, before the final battle, before this happened to the commander. After their kiss, they did not had any sexual relation, though Shepard was leaning into it, the asari was still more focused on her code, and rejected Shepard on that part, saying once again in another time, but the smile she had on her face for Shepard was obvious that the justicar would make sure in the another time it would happen, the another time was after the final battle, the asari was convincing herself that Shepard would win, so she would be back and they could finish what they had to finish, and also she felt like after doing this she was giving Shepard more reasons to make it out alive.

And Shepard did made it out alive, she's right here, laying on a hospital bed, just besides her, but nothing is the same. Shepard is bandaged, beaten up, hell she even lost a arm, her left arm, they did tried to find it, but it was nowhere to be seen, now they are building some fake arm for her, a strong one though, made of like metal, but covered with some cloth that looks exactly like human's skin. The spectre looked like almost out of life, the only things that keeps her remaining alive is those machines, her skin which was already pale looked even more pale than before, and black marks remained around her eyes, her blonde hair didn't had that vivid colour anymore, and her body wasn't muscled and in shape as before, she was skinny, her collar bone showing, and so was the veins on her hands, the doctors kept feeding her, to make sure she wouldn't die because of that, but they can't do much about that, because there's things her body won't accept.

Five years passed and the Normandy crew was losing hope for their commander, it has been too long and the doctors already warned them they doubted she will ever wake up again, the crew itself began to drift apart and went back to their old jobs, however the real crew sticks together, right? Joker, EDI, James, Ashley, Kasumi, Samara, Liara, Tali, Garrus, Grunt, Miranda, and Doctor Chakwas who was also taking care of Shepard's health, that crew were still in contact, yes they had their own jobs now, in different places, but they still spoke time to time, and each month they all go together to visit Shepard, which isn't an easy meeting, because it's hard for everybody see their commander so weak, and not awake.

However the only person who did not moved herself too far away from the commander was Samara, she stayed here every day, meditating, only left when it was really needed, then she was back. Some nights she spent at her apartment in Citadel, but other times she stayed here and allowed herself to sleep on the couch or meditate the all night.

It was already getting too late, and Samara stopped meditating because her head was hurting too much and she wasn't focusing on it, she wasn't doing the right thing, she couldn't think about Shepard while doing this, this was her only hope to keep herself away from thinking about Shepard and not hurt herself so emotionally. She stood up from the ground and looked at the clock seeing that it was already mid-night, and since Samara wanted to make sure she would have the right meditation, she decided today she should sleep back in her apartment, and also because the conversation with Miranda and Jack still bothered her, and unlike other people Samara wanted to stay away when it bothered her heart too much, even if that person deserved her to be there.

"Have a pleasant night, Shepard." Samara spoke while tilting her head slowly down, and planting a kiss upon Shepard's forehead, yet the justicar remained like that for few seconds, with a slight frown on her face, as we could see her hands slowly gripping on the sheets from the bed, then a small tear drop fell from the asari's eye and rolled down over her cheek, ending its track on her chin and dropping over Shepard's cheek. Samara took a deep breath and brought her head back, passing her thumb slowly over Shepard's cheek and removing her own tear before remove herself from this room, from this hospital and go back to her apartment, to try spend some decent night, with sleep or a strong meditation, to keep her mind away from the problems and heart away from the pain.

So what you thought about the chapter? Miranda acting a bit cold towards Shepard's condition? Did she really lost her hope on the commander?

Hope you liked it; things will get more interesting in the next chapter!

Stick around and leave reviews!