Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. Just the story.
All my life I was always told I was unordinary. That I would grow up to be worthless, and alone. My mother always told me that no matter how hard I tried I would be nothing like her. The Grey that everyone idolized, and the mother who all my friends wished they had. If only they knew what she was like behind closed doors. Behind the facade, and the mask she wore constantly.
At the hospital, my mother had countless admirers. Residents, interns, even attendees all wanted to be like my mother. My mother never made one mistake in any surgery. Never dropped a kidney, like I did. She never slept with someone she didn't love. She never had to go to therapy to learn how to love with open arms, instead of running away from it. And for years, she never had to face her dirt. My mother always had a hard time showing she loved me. It wasn't until her dying days that I truly believed my mother loved me.
During her residency she was having an affair with a married man named Richard Webber. She too was married, which ultimately led to my father's departure. During her affair, my mother was attentive. My mother began to teach me surgical procedures although I was only a child. My mother was loving, and sweet. My mother was a mother. Things were going well for a few years between them until Richard's conscious kicked in, and he went back to his wife. The day he left her was the day I lost my mother.
Behind closed doors, at home with just the two of us alone; she never spoke more than the simple, "Hello." Or "Good-bye." unless she was criticizing me. If I brought home a B, I was severely punished. Even now I believe she was strict on me because of the men in her life abandoning her. My mother wasn't a saint like everyone is led to believe. My mother was human. My mother was an adulteress who had her heartbroken.
Behind closed doors, my mother was nothing more than an intelligent woman, who was extraordinarily skilled at surgeries. A woman who believed the world revolved around her, and was slapped in the face with the reality that it didn't. My mother was cold, guarded, and after Richard left her, she gave up the one emotion a child needs most: love.
People look at me, and automatically think I'm supposed to be like her. People envy me because my mother's ex lover is now my boss. People look at me, and assume that I'm cold, guarded, and incapable of love. They believe I will follow in my mother's footsteps and be extraordinary like her. But if people took the time to open the door, they would find out that I'm not cold, and once I get to know you, my guard comes down. They will find out that now I am capable of love. They will find out that I may or may not be extraordinary like my mother, but I will do my best in everything that I do. And if they really open the door, and take a hard look, they will realize that my mother was right about one thing, I will never be her.
I will be better.