5 Guys and One Awkward Realm
By ArtOFAnime
Summary: Sesshomaru, Naraku, Inuyasha, Miroku and Kouga are all in this weird dimension… It gives them anything they wish…UH-OH… OOCness for some.
Rated T: Just some language and mentions to some body parts.
A/N: Another RANDOM story by me! I had some help from Squirt the Daydreamer too. Sesshomaru gets a lot of the spotlight in this story. I make fun of that because Sesshomaru is always gloomy; he needs some character! Sesshomaru is my favorite character in the whole show, I also like Naraku even though it seems awkward… Naraku is the OOC troublemaker in this, it is just too amusing when he goes crazy. Check out my other story: Truth or Dare: Inuyasha Style, very funny!
Disclaimer: If I owned Inuyasha… Then I wouldn't be writing this story… YAY!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!! BANANAS!!!!!!!!!!! Ok….
In this mysterious swirly, dark realm, the boys of Inuyasha were, well, just there.
"Yo, Sesshomaru, what are we doing here?" Inuyasha asked.
Sesshomaru replied with a 'how am I supposed to know?' expression. "Uhh.. Ok, Miroku, you know?"
Miroku was already thinking that in his head, "Uhh…nope…"
"This realm…" sniff sniff "It's the Anything You Wish, Comes True Realm!" Naraku exclaimed.
"How do you know?" Kouga asked.
Naraku gave him a snicker, "Well, duh, if you had a brain, this is the realm where everybody comes to make their fantasies come true! I have never been here myself, but what I have heard, it's supposed to do wonders."
"And what the hell's that supposed to mean?" Inuyasha countered.
"Didn't you hear me? You. Wish. Anything. And. It. Comes. True. Duh." Naraku slowly pointed out as if Inuyasha were mentally ill.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes in 'right…' expression.
"Well, if it gives us anything we wish, let's try it!" Exclaimed Miroku. There was awkward silence as everyone stared at him. "I wish have a piece of fish!" Miroku requested. All of a sudden, a piece of fish fell down from the 'sky'. "Wow! If it can give me a piece of fish, I wonder what other more 'interesting' things it can give me!" Said Miroku with a mischievous smirk.
Inuyasha immediately punched him in the face, "Shuddup you creep."
"I wish for Inuyasha's Tetseuiga" Sesshomaru asked before anyone could respond.
"What the hell are-" Inuyasha was interrupted by a sudden POP as his sword vanished and came floating down next to Sesshomaru.
"Hehehe." Was all Sesshomaru said.
"I wish for Kagome to become my woman!" As Kouga shouted randomly. Inuyasha gave him a look between a: 'I hate you and what the hell did you say' look. All of a sudden Kagome popped from the sky and floated in Kouga's arms.
"Uhh… What am I doing here?" Kagome asked.
"I wish for Kagome to go back to whatever she was doing before this" Inuyasha quickly wished. Then again there was a POP. Soon Kouga and Inuyasha kept repeating their wishes for about half an hour.
"I wish that Kagome will not be wished on anymore" Said Sesshomaru in an annoyed tone. That settled the little bickering with Kouga and Inuyasha.
"I wish to have a large bottle of Budweiser please" Now that really caught everyone off guard.
"Did… Naraku… JUST WISH FOR A LARGE BOTTLE OF BEER!" Exclaimed a flabbergasted Inuyasha. As usual, a POP, then came an enormously large bottle of beer.
"Hey, you guys want some?" Naraku asked, but received wide-eyed responses from everyone. "Alrighty, whatever you say." Then he started to chug the whole bottle down.
"Idiot." Kouga stated.
"Loser." Inuyasha stated.
"Fool." Sesshomaru stated.
"Umm… I wonder if this realm has an effect on people's personalities. I feel kind of funny in the head." Miroku stated.
"Big surprise there Sherlock." Inuyasha replied. By now, Naraku had almost emptied the bottle.
"Yay! I like cheese! Chickens squawk! Hehehehe!..." And on and on Naraku went.
Koga stated randomly, "Chickens are weird."
Naraku exclaimed, "I HEARD THAT! I wish a bunch of chickens will run over you!"
"WHAT?" There was a faint sqawk. Then there's another sqawk. The sqawks started from a few up to an uproaring of sqawks. Koga gulped and looked behind him. THERE WAS A BUNCH OF CHICKENS RUNNING AFTER HIM!
"HOLY SHIT!" He started to run off while everyone else started laughing at him. The chickens chased after him. Suddenly, there was a "Gobble."
Inuyasha looked to his side and saw a turkey, "What the hell is a turkey doing here?"
Sesshomaru shrugged his shoulders, "Let's eat it."
"Uh... Ok... I wish that turkey was cooked."
"I'll just ignore them. I wish for ten pretty girls to come and join me!" Miroku said excitedly. POP as ten pretty girls came and join him.
"Yuck." Inuyasha stated.
"Disgusting." Kouga stated.
"Nauseating." Sesshomaru stated. While Miroku was 'busy' (A/N: cough cough) with the girls, and Naraku was singing the barney song, Inuyasha and Sesshomaru were deep in thought.
'If anything I wish can come true, what should I wish for?' Both Sesshomaru and Inuyasha thought.
"I wish for all our friends to watch this memorable moment! Yay!" Naraku exclaimed.
"Shut-" Inuyasha began,
"HAHAHAH! Doggy ears just… uh, what was it? Oh yes! He said shut! HAHAHA!" Naraku burst into laughter.
"Uhh… What the hell?" Inuyasha responded; Naraku just laughed harder…
Naraku said, "Uh... MORE BARNEY SONGS! LET'S SING ALTOGETHER!" The "evil" villain started singing, "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."
Inuyasha and Sesshomaru started looking at him funny.
Sesshomaru commented, "Well... At least I like this song." He shrugged his shoulders as Inuyasha's eyes expanded to the size of two huge chocolate chip cookies, "You mean THAT song?"
"Uh... Yeah."
"I don't know you anymore."
"Whatever." Sesshomaru started to sing along with Naraku...
Even though nothing happened in that realm, little did they know, 17 year old Rin, Kagome, Jaken, Shippo, Sango, Kagura, Kanna, Kohaku and Ayame were watching them from a swirly thing.
"Wow, how did we get here?" Kagome asked.
"I don't know, but there are the guys, look!" Rin replied. They all looked into the swirly thing and saw the guy standing in nowhere.
"Wait, isn't that-? HOLY SHIT! IT THAT BACKSTABBING PERVERT! ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON HIM--!" A fuming mad Sango exploded.
"Hold it, look at Naraku, he looks, well, drunk. Hahah! I never thought I'd see the day!" An excited Kagura said.
"What are we going to do now?" Asked Kouga.
"How am I supposed to know?" Inuyasha replied. "Just make the best of it I guess. I wish for a box of those yummy doggy biscuits Kagome brings!" POP Inuyasha immediately Inuyasha started munching on them.
"Two down, one to go." Sesshomaru lazily counted.
"Hey, whaddya mean by that?" Both Kouga and Inuyasha asked.
"It's quiet simple, Inuyasha, and Naraku have both lost their minds, and the next one will be Kouga."
"How do you know it will be me next?" Kouga countered.
"Yeah, and munch I haven't lost my munch mind! I was just hungry munch…" Said Inuyasha with his mouth full.
Then there was an awkward silence…
"I wish for some overly large candy canes!" Naraku randomly wished again. POP Everybody stared/grimaced/glared at: The Naraku the Lunatic Eating Massive Candy Canes Show. When he was done, he probably put on about 20 pounds and had red around his mouth,
"Ha! Look at him, he looks like an overgrown bowling ball!" Inuyasha said as he 'dissed' him.
"Howling Stall? What's that?" Koga questioned and it looked like Sesshomaru was wondering the same.
"Uhh… Never mind…"
"Look at Inuyasha! He looks like a complete idiot! Hahah!" Kagome was crackling up."
"So, I guess a person's personality changed in that realm or something like that. I wonder when Sesshomaru will change. That will defiantly be a funny sight to see!" Rin inquired.
"I wish for Barney to sing to us!" POP Again, Naraku was making random requests.
"Hello everybody! Let's sing: I love you, you love me…" Barney kept on going and going and it looked like Naraku was enjoying it. Sesshomaru began singing along and Naraku exclaimed, "HEY! NO FAIR! BARNEY IS MY OWN PRIVATE ENTERTAINMENT!"
Sesshomaru folded his arms, "I can like whoever I want to!"
"YOUR FACE!" Naraku shouted like a baby.
"How dare you bring my beautiful face into this! Well... YOUR MOTHER!" Sesshomaru countered as he folded his arms.
"MY MOTHER? HOW DARE YOU BRING HER INTO THIS!" Naraku then began sobbing.
"Yeah, that's right you little crybaby." The others just stared at those two bickering... They found it quite entertaining actually.
"You know what? I wish that fluffers was wearing a pink peapod outfit (A/N: Like the little baby Halloween outfits that are so cute!), high pink pumps, and had on the makeup of a clown!" Naraku wished. All of a sudden, Sesshomaru's appearance was changing… After the transformation was done, he looked like exactly what Naraku requested. Since guys can't wear pumps and run at the same time, Sesshomaru tripped and toppled to the ground. Everybody including Miroku was laughing like it was the only thing keeping them alive. Sesshomaru was thinking 'I will never get my dignity back, curse that bastard…' while grinding his teeth.
Everybody in the real world was in a laughing madness.
"Rin, I this will be a very memorable moment for you and Sesshomaru in the future!" Kagome said with tears streaming from her eyes.
"He will never be able to live this down!' Rin replied.
"Now that I have had my revenge, it's Inuyasha's turn!" Naraku exclaimed happily.
"What! Don't you dare do anything to me!" Inuyasha replied a little scared.
"I dare Inuyasha to rap and dress like it!" Naraku said.
"No! No! N-" Inuyasha was practically begging. POP "YOOOOOOOO! M.C. Inu in the HIZZOUSE! So O.G. man! What's up home fried skillet biskets?" Inuyasha suddenly had a doo rag on his head and some "bling" around his neck. Also wearing 'shades' and had black baggy clothes on. Inuyasha shouted, "THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH!"
Sesshomaru rolled his eyes, "The half-demon's cracked."
"Uhh…-" In a moment Kouga and Miroku here toppling over themselves with laughter.
In the real world, Kagome was really dying of laughter. Well, so was everyone else.
"Oh! I almost forgot! Fluffums, I'm not done with you yet!" Naraku said as he turned to Sesshomaru still in his lying position from the 'incedent'.
"Don't… You… Dare… Say-" Sesshomaru was cut off by Naraku's wishing.
"I wish that Fluffbutt will act like a woman to match his outfit!"
POP Sesshomaru started to get up from the floor in a womanly fashion…
"Oh my gosh! Look at these gorgeous pumps! They are sooo my favorite color! Uhh, I need a manicure, mmm… maybe a pedicure too. Uh, look at my thighs, aren't they just beautiful? Oh no! I'm getting so fat! I should eat so much less. Hey, where's my purse? How can a woman live without a purse! My makeup kit and manicure kit is all in there! I need a mirror! What if I smudged my makeup while I was on the floor! Ahh!..." And on and on Sesshomaru went on about how he looked.
"I wish for a shnizzle video recorder with a lot of bling bling yo!" Inuyasha smartly wished. POP Inuyasha set it in place to capture all of Sesshomaru's actions. "This you home skillets, is M. C. Inu's genius idea…" Inuyasha snickered.
"Hey you, hottie with the hunky ears, come here (A/N: Remember, Sesshomaru is still acting like a woman)" Sesshomaru asked.
"Dang, how dare you 'girl' call over M. C. Inu. I'm a dawg (A/N: Haha, he's a dog demon, dawg, get it? Hahaha…) that goes after real babes, not fake ones."
"Uh, how dare you insult me!" He says as he flips his hair, "I am clearly not a man, if you want proof, look at my chest!" Said Sesshomaru as he unzipped his peapod costume. Touch Feel "Where'd my coconuts go?" Feels the lower region "Ahhhh! Please say it ain't so! I have that disgusting 'piece' there! GROOOOOSSSS!" Sesshomaru kept running around and screaming like an idiot, and then he finally fainted.
"Wow, I didn't know Sesshomaru had that muscular chest, not to mention that perfect six pack. Wow." Said Rin blushing madly.
"Uhh, you never seen him like that before? I was almost positive you guys, you know…" Replied Sango.
"Ummm… Well, not yet…" Rin said.
"Well, you better hurry up, it would be a shame to waste that perfect piece of meat." Inquired Kagome, immediately realizing what she just said, she covered her mouth.
Everyone grimaced at her, then said mouthed a 'OK then…'
"This is so fun!" Naraku exclaimed peppyly. "Now… Kouga, your turn!"
"What are you gonna do to me! I will not become an idiot with a single wish like that!" As he pointed to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru.
"How dare you call M. C. Inu a freakin idiot! You, on the other hand don't get the language of us homies, so leave this dawg alone." Said Inuyasha as he walked away.
"I wish that Kouga will sip... or maybe chug beer with me, so I will have company!" Naraku wished as another two giant beer cans flew out from the sky. Both started chugging until the bottle was empty. Naraku had become even more drunk than before, if that was possible, and Kouga had newly become drunk. Both were talking about random things like chickens, pineapples, and grass.
The intoxicated Naraku glaced at everyone in the room and made a weird face, especially at Sesshomaru, "Kukuku…. I wish… um, what do I wish?... Oh yea! Fluffman… or should I say woman. Hahaha! Woman! Ok… I wish that fluffy get up from his boring position from the ground, and… GO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN, THEN JUMP OFF OF THE MOUNTAIN'S HIGHEST CLIFF! OH, AND DON'T GET … SERIOUSLY HURT WHILE YOUR AT IT!" POP A random mountain appeared out of nowhere, and it seemed like the mountain was never ending at the top. Sesshomaru then started to get up from the ground, then walked towards the tip of the mountain.
"Well, at least you could've wished for some fashionable climbing outfit and equipment… Geez, such a senseless man…" Sesshomaru said as he started to climb. "Uhh, climbing a mountain in pumps and this ugly-butt peapod outfit is revolting, and soooo hard."
"Reeeevoltinggggg, juuuuuuuust likkkkkkke youuuuuu," Kouga garbled.
"How rude! Why don't you come in my place huh? Ouch! I think I such broke a nail…" sniffles "I keep slipping! Help dammit!" Sesshomaru rudely demanded.
"Awww. You sound soooo desperatttte. I feel a bit nicer right now, hm… I wish for a hanger thing (A/N: Like the ones that hook onto giant cargo boxes.) to 'help' Sesshomaru… No that name doesn't suit her… Sesshiela! Anyway, to help her by hooking onto her undypantes and pull her up! Not to mention giving her a major wedgie too!" Naraku requested as Kouga started spurting beer from his nose due to the funniness of this situation. POP Suddenly a hanger pulled Sesshiela by her underwear and dragged her up all the way up the mountain, which took forever.
"Ouch, that's gotta hurt fluffydawg, and not to mention fluffgirl there is a MAN, uhhh…" Inuyasha got chills just thinking about it (A/N: Man, wedgie… Get the picture?).
"Tellllllllll us whennnnnnnn you geeeeeet tooooo the topppppp!" Naraku spat out.
"Already here! Ahh! What happening! I'm towards a giant cliff! Hellppp!" Sesshiela cried while ignoring his/her atomic wedgie for the moment.
"Welll, thatsss the whollle pointtt!" Naraku spat again.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Everybody heard Sesshiela cry as she fell/walked off the cliff.
"I see something in the sky!" Kouga cried "It's a pink bird!"
"It's a plane with a lot of bling bling on it for Inu dawg!" Inuyasha cried.
"It'sss Sesshiela!" Naraku shouted.
PLOP! Sesshoumaru landed flat on the floor. He suddenly was bouncing off the walls, even if there weren't any, crying "Wedgie! Ow! Wedgie! Ow! Wedgie! Ow! Wedgie! Ow! Wedgie! Ow!". Finally he picked out his wedgie and fainted yet again.
Everyone in the outside world was going insane from laughter. The passerby people wondered if they were a group of crazy people.
After all this time, Miroku was still kept busy with the ladies. Some had even got topless, which made Miroku's eyes pop from their sockets. Sango, watching from the other realm, was fuming purple.
"Humph! I….uh… need uh… a girlfriend uh…" Kouga randomly stated.
"Meeeeee toooooooooo" Naraku slurred. "I wish that my beloved Kikyo would accompany me in this realm and enjoy a make out session with me." Naraku stated lustily. POP Kikyo appeared and then jumped on Naraku's lap and, well, they started making out.
"I'm getting lonely… I wish that Ayame, my buuuuuttttttttiful woman would make out with me!" POP Kouga and Ayame… uh, you know what's happening.
"I bet Ayame wishes that Kouga would always be drunk." Sango said.
"Poor her though…" Kagome said as Rin and the others nodded their heads.
"Yo, this home dawg is getting lonely in this crib. I need a babe…" Inuyasha thought and then a light bulb appeared on his head, "Got it! I wish that Sesshomaru's wish about Kagome was undone; I wish that all our friends were here to join this dawg and his homies."
POP
"Hey! There are the guys!" Rin said pointing to each of them. Kagome ran directly to Inuyasha, while Sango, Kohaku, and Kirara ran to Miroku. Rin and Jaken ran to the fainted Sesshomaru and Kagura and Kanna ran to Naraku. Shippo just looked around, saw that everyone was busy, so he started playing solitaire with himself.
"Yo! It's Kago-babe! Saawwwwweeeet! Com'on over 'ere and give this Inu dawg a smooch!" Inuyasha exclaimed.
"Inuyasha… SIT!" Kagome ordered as Inuyasha landed flat on the floor.
"Aw... C'mon baby, you know you want to..." Kagome sighed and walked away. "HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Inuyasha followed her.
"M. I. R. O. K. U…. I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Kohaku and Kirara watched as the demon slayer pulverized the monk. Sango also wished for the ten girls to disappear. In the end, Miroku looked like he had been ran over by a heard of elephants.
"Lord Sesshomaru! Wake up!" Jaken's squeaky voice cried. Sesshomaru opened his eyes and stood up.
"Lord Sesshomaru? Who's he? My name is Sesshiela. And, who are you, you little green thing who certainly needs a manicure.
"Give us back Milord at one! Or feel the power of the Staff of Two Heads!" Jaken ordered.
"Uhhh… Jaken, I don't think that will work…" Rin inquired.
Kagura walked behind Naraku and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and said: "How dare you interrupt our make out session!" Then, he slapped her. Well Kagura slapped him back, and they started a catfight, pulling each others hair and all that stuff. Meanwhile, Kikyo had wandered over to Inuyasha…
"Yo yo yo, looky here at this babe! She got it going on yo! Wanna give this Inu a smooch? Com'ere, you know you want some!" Inuyasha said with a smile creeping over his face. Kikyo walked up to him and started making out with him.
"Why you little… well no, dead bitch!" Kagome screamed while tackling Kikyo to the ground. Once again, a little cat fight established.
Above all of this commotion, Kouga and Ayame were continuing with their make out session, oblivious to everything.
"Wow, there is so much fighting and exchanging of saliva (A/N: A.K.A kissing), I wonder how can I help with whole situation?" Shippo thought to himself.
"Such noise… Such idiots… I wish that we were all back in the real world with everyone's personalities back to normal…" Kanna wished, ending the whole situation.
!POOF!
Everybody appeared in a large sunflower meadow. Inuyasha land flat on his face, while Sesshomaru landed on his butt with Rin smacking into him.
"How the hell did I get here? What's going on!" Inuyasha shouted.
"Why am I in this fabric of revolting ugliness? What is going on?" Sesshomaru asked dazed. When he realized that Rin, blushing, was on top of him, he felt a bit hot… Rin was blushing madly when she noticed that she was so close to Sesshomaru's bare chest. But she didn't dare to look at his face, which she feared that the makeup might ruin the moment.
"Whoa, why do I have Ayame's slobber all over me?" Kouga questioned getting up from his landing position. Kikyo and Kagome, looking badly beat up, were both staring at each other with death glares. Naraku landed on top of Kagura, and Kanna landed on top of him. Naraku and Kagura were both giving each other glares of their own. Miroku landed on top of Kirara, almost killing her, and Sango landed on top of Jaken, again almost suffocating him. Kohaku and Shippo landed peacefully and gently on the ground.
Everyone got up and cleaned themselves, in Sesshomaru's case, washed off all his makeup and changed his outfit, maybe also clipped his nails; they all went their separate ways. Inuyasha snickered to himself when he remembered that he had captured all of Sesshomaru and Naraku's moments on tape. His big brother and Naraku, who started this whole mess, would never be taken seriously again…