Bella's POV
I don't know if they knew how much they were hurting me by leaving, I'd like to think that they don't know how much I am suffering from their absence. I guess the horizontal cuts and scars on my arms and thighs weren't enough to bring them back to me. I was going to make vertical cut soon and then I wouldn't have to hurt myself anymore, I wouldn't miss them anymore and I wouldn't feel this pain anymore. He may be enjoying his distractions, but my distractions to often left scars, and blood on the floor.
Esme was the caring mother that I never had. I mean I had rennee but the roles were always reversed, I was always the one taking care of her. But Esme held my hand when I was afraid, cooked me food, and took care of me. I missed her with all my heart, thinking back I like to think that she loved me, or even just cared for me. She probably didn't think of me as more than her son's girlfriend, but that's not how I thought of her. I should have called her mum, but its to late now, and she is gone.
Carlisle was my new father, I still had Charlie whom I loved, but Carlisle like Esme took care of me. I was so lucky to have them in my life, I took them for granted. I was to caught up with him… That I barley even took time to appriceate them both.
Alice, was best friend that I had ever had. Even though he didn't say good bye, Alice could have. If she came back I would promise to go shopping with her. I suppose she had her distractions too, but I needed her! You are supposed to talk to your best friend about break ups, but my best friend went the same way as my lover… and now they were both gone.
Emmett could have made me laugh right now. He would have cacked a joke or Esme's furniture and I would have been able to smile. He was always up to pull a prank on me, or to get me to help him get someone else in his family. He was the big goofy brother that I loved, even though he was so annoying… I still loved him so much.
Jasper was the same as Emmett, he was a little more serious though. He taught me about the Civil war and he tried to teach me some Spanish, but I wasn't too good at that so eventually he gave up. Jasper was not as good at sticking to the diet as the rest of the family, but that never bothered me, and I trusted Jasper, I trusted all of them. I suppose when it comes to them not draining my blood, I still trusted them… When it came to my heart that's now a different story.
Rosalie is the only one who didn't like me, or pretend to like me. And I would be happy to even see her, that's a lie I would be estatic to see her. I think Rosalie and I could have been friends, I didn't understand why she didn't like me, and it wasn't that she didn't like me, she hated me! I never felt any hate towards her, only confusion.
I knew that what I was going to do would hurt many people, I would hurt Charlie, Renee, Phil and…I guess the list wasn't as long as I though or had hoped. Yet the pain they would feel after my departure would be nothing compared to what I felt now. I got up out of the chair I occupied most of the time when I wasn't having night terrors, and at school- since they had gone…I decided that I wanted to go on a drive. I only packed my credit card that accessed all of my savings, a sharp razor blade and my keys I knew what I had to do, and I knew that it had to be now.
I made my way to the frount door where I would say good bye to Charlie forever. He was not there, so I left him a note.
I am going on a drive dad, maybe to the shopping mall… I don't know yet I just need time to get out of my head. I'll call soon, but Dad I just need to be left alone for now.. Please don't worry I will be fine. See you soon Dad. I love you. Please always remember that.
-Bella
I left the note on the coffee table as I headed out to my car. I drove… All I did was drive.
After a few stops for gas and a day or two of driving I had finally reached Seattle. It was a big city with a lot of traffic. I drove myself to the nearest cilff I could find. I would do excactly what Esme was going to do when she had lost everything. I was going to jump. I wouldn't be as lucky as her and receive a vampire family in the future. I wouldn't see my true love agian. I wouldn't be rescued. I was going to jump I had decided.
I stood looking over the edge of the cliff. It wasn't that high maybe 20 meters. It was the best I was going to do in this town. I read somewhere that 10 meters would give you serious injuries, so I estimated 20 meters would be enough to kill me… wouldn't it? I was going to go though with this, as I was about to jump a flash of longing came through me. Longing for my parents, Esme and Carlisle Cullen. Longing for my best friend and sister Alice. Longing for my brothers, Emmett and Jasper. And even loning for Rosalie. Longing for him my love. I hadn't said his name since they left. I took one step closer to the edge. And as I stepped of I whispered.
"Be safe Edward."
I hit the ground, I felt intense pain… Then I felt nothing.
AN: Hello, my name is Silver. I haven't written a fanfiction before. But this story is going to be an alternate new moon book, So this story starts at the end of the first novel (Twilight). I hoped you liked my story and if it is to dark and twisty for you feel free to go and read a different fanfic. I will hopefully be updating every two or three days. So please keep reading. READ, REVIEW, FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW!