Guide to date Starfire
By Robin
1. Do things she likes.
If there was something Robin was good at, it was sports, especially gymnastics. He was also good at doing tricks (he could find coins behind ears). Oh, and how could anyone forget his uncanny ability to sneak up on people?
But Cyborg had known him for many years now, and there was something he wasn't good at.
Flirting.
He'd never been a good flirter either, but he was definitely good than his leader. Robin was the lamest when it came to Starfire, and it was that he wasn't very subtle with his crush, either—every time he was near her, he started acting clumsy, though Cyborg had come to guess that Robin thought he was being all suave and cool. Which was lame too. Once Cyborg entered his room to ask him about the H.I.V.E. and saw Robin writing something in a notebook; he was so caught up in it he didn't notice Cyborg, and before Robin could close it, Cyborg read the title—Guide to date Starfire. Who wrote a book about dating someone? He wasn't even dating her.
Whatever.
Cyborg didn't know anything else about this guide, but he was definitely curious—what would he do? He hadn't seen Robin do anything weirder than usual, so he supposed that he was waiting for something. Or maybe he had just given up the idea of writing a guide, though Cyborg didn't think it was the latest option.
Two weeks had passed since he saw Robin writing it, anyway. So maybe he didn't do anything after all.
"I think the microwave is broken," came Beast Boy's voice from the kitchen. "Cyborg! Come fix it!"
"I am not here to fix things, Beast—man, what are you doing?"
He wasn't talking to Beast Boy, who was still shouting at him from the kitchen, but at Robin, who had just come from the hallway, and was carrying the biggest paper box Cyborg had ever seen. It almost covered Robin whole, and Cyborg couldn't even think of a decent reason to explain why. It was closed, but a few cables and wires came from the inside and hanged outside. When Robin heard Cyborg, he stopped short and let the box fall to the floor. Metal clashing against metal sounded when the box reached it.
Robin was smiling like a psycho. "Hi, Cyborg. What's up?"
"What's inside that box?" asked Cyborg, thinking if this had anything to do with Robin's guide.
"This? Oh, it's nothing. Just stuff."
Yeah, I'm not stupid. "And where are you going?"
"Eh." Robin rubbed this neck, and Cyborg could confirm that this was totally connected with the guide. Robin only rubbed his neck when he was nervous, and now he looked as if he was ready to jump from the window. "I'm going on a walk."
"With a box?"
"Batman has asked me to bring him some things, okay?" He picked up the box again, and Cyborg could have sworn that he heard Robin's spine crack. "Top secret. Bye."
"Yes, pal. Whatever you say."
Well, he'd found another thing Robin was bad at—lying when he was nervous. And if he was nervous, it had to mean he was going to do something with Starfire, or to Starfire, or implying Starfire. Which meant it had something to do with his Guide to date Starfire for sure. Which meant Cyborg had to follow him to know; he hadn't been waiting for two weeks for nothing.
"Cyborg, the MICROWAVE," yelled Beast Boy again, and this time Cyborg went to the kitchen, only not to fix the microwave. When Beast Boy saw him, he looked surprised yet pleased. "Oh, I thought you wouldn't come."
"Listen," Cyborg said, grabbing Beast Boy by the shoulders and shaking him to make him focus. Then he told him everything he knew about Robin's guide, which wasn't much, but it was something. Then he told him about Robin carrying a big box with something metallic in it, about Robin lying about where he was going and, the most important thing, he told him that Starfire wasn't home. "And Robin has just left, so that could only mean one thing—"
"They are meeting outside," Beast Boy finished, gasping. "What are we going to do?"
Cyborg chuckled. "Follow Robin, of course. But we have to be fast, or else we are going to lose him, so… go!"
They'd been following Robin for two hours, and they'd gone nowhere. First they found Robin walking to the park of Jump City, so Cyborg guessed he was just going to meet Starfire there (which didn't explain the box, but it was the best thing he could come up with), but after an hour walking without a destiny, Robin left the park and went to the street. Anyone would have thought that the weight of the box would have crushed him already, but the guy kept on like nothing. And so they walked among Jump City's streets for another hour, and this time Robin just kept turning around corners like if he knew he was being followed and was trying to miss them.
Beast Boy suggested that maybe they should leave him and wait until he returned home, and then they could corner him and ask him what had he done, or if he'd been with Starfire indeed, but Cyborg wasn't going to give up now. So they walked after Robin, waiting for something, anything, until they got it.
It was when they'd been following Robin for almost three hours when he finally got into a building. Neither Beast Boy nor Cyborg knew where they were, but they climbed to the roof to see what was going on inside through the crystal dome. Why would they want a crystal dome in this building, Cyborg didn't know.
"You think they are both here? I can't see them," said Beast Boy, trying to look from different angles.
"Just wait, I'm sure they are here," assured Cyborg.
And just then, as if a god had heard him, Robin appeared with his huge box and a woman that definitely wasn't Starfire. She was way older than Robin, in her thirties, and had curly brown hair. She was talking to him with a big smile, and Cyborg wished he knew how to read lips. Robin laughed with her, and the box almost fell to the floor.
"Dude," muttered Beast Boy, "what is Robin up to?"
Cyborg had an idea.
"Turn into an ant," he said, and Beast Boy stared at him with both eyebrows raised. "Turn into an ant so you can enter through the dome and listen what they are saying. And then come back and tell me."
"Oh, right."
He turned into an ant and disappeared while Cyborg looked at Robin, trying to guess what he was doing. Build something for Starfire? Try to flirt with her here… wherever here was? Cyborg didn't want to think about it, but maybe he was wrong and this wasn't something related with his guide, and it was just an embarrassing hobby, or something like that. But it was—
There. He was right. Covering his mouth so he wouldn't gasp loudly, he looked at the door of the room, and saw Starfire entering. She was dressed in normal clothes and had glasses to cover her green eyes, but there she was, carrying another box, though this was way bigger than Robin's and she seemed to handle it better than him.
The woman that had been talking with Robin turned at the sound of Starfire, and she smiled even bigger and went to hug her. She said something and then she, Robin and Starfire went to one of the tables, leaving there their boxes. Then they emptied them, and Cyborg didn't know what to think.
They had all types of tools for… carving rocks, or something like that. Chisels, nails, augers… and that stuff. Cyborg didn't see any rocks, but it couldn't be. Robin didn't like to carve. It didn't make any sense—
Except Starfire did like to carve. She'd mentioned it once or twice, that she was going to her sculpting classes, that she was getting better at it, that she would make sculptures of them someday.
Cyborg almost laughed out loud. Robin was doing this because Starfire liked it?
Beast Boy returned a minute later. He was almost laughing too. "Dude, you wouldn't believe it. They are—"
"Carving rocks," finished Cyborg, getting up. "Come on, I already know what he's doing. And he's nuts."
When Robin came back home, he had his hair dirty with rock crumbs, his face a mess, and had a lot of bandages in his hands. Cyborg and Beast Boy, who were playing video games, paused the one they were playing to look at his friend. Starfire came a second later, all smiley and beautiful as always.
"It was fun, right?" she was saying. "I am anxiously waiting for you to come back next week!"
Robin, who seemed exhausted, managed to smile. "Yeah, yeah, I can't wait either."
Starfire hugged him, and Robin seemed to cheer up until she said, "You are the best of friends in the world!"
Robin opened his eyes like crazy, looking like he was about to cry, and this time Cyborg and Beast Boy couldn't help but burst out laughing.