THE BO-BOBO FILES
Ziggy's Corner: Okay this is my first attempt to do a story for this series. I haven't watched it a lot, but what I have watched has made me laugh my pants off, so I thought I'd give it a try. I have done parody, and since BoBo-BoBo Bo-BoBo is ripe with that kind of writing I should do a pretty good job! A word to the wise, this story will not really make much sense, actually there is going to be a good number of cameos from other series. If you all have a character from a cartoon show, anime, movie, tv series, etc. Let me know. If I like the character, or if I'm bored and have a bad case of writer's block, odds are good I'll put these characters in for a cameo appearance. Also, the narrator's voice is always in italic. Okay, on with the show!
Bo-BoBo and Beauty walked down the lane, smelling the pretty flowers along the way. Beauty wasn't sure where they were going, she was never sure. All she knew was that this Bo-dacious defender of all things hairy would always seem to seek out and destroy any of King Baldy Bald's hair hunting henchmen. The sky was blue and the grass was a nice shade of Kentucky bluegrass and the path which they walked was light brown as if golden.
It was then that Beauty had to stop and look at her companion, who had decided to dress up like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. "What are you doing!" she screamed, her eyes bulging out the way that anime character's do.
"I was just getting in character," he said, looking at her as if she was crazy herself.
What Beauty did not realize was that her companion had longed to play the part of Dorothy in his grade school play. But the mean, meanies of that really mean school only laughed at him, and called him a freak. Not only that, but the ruby slippers were two sizes too small for his feet!
Bo-BoBo dropped to the ground and wailed like a banshee, "It was horrible, my poor self esteem! My hair even teased me about it!"
"You bet we did, you tried to tie us up in pig tails!" his blonde hair cried. "What a big baby!"
Beauty sighed and shook her bright pink head, when she realized that something was seriously wrong. "Hey, wait a minute, Kentucky Bluegrass! How did we get to Kentucky?"
At that outburst she could hear the music of a horn play, a theme like, "ba da, da da da, da da da, da da da da dum!" Fearing what she might see next, the young woman turned around and dropped on her bum as she spied her walking companion, along with Don Patch, dressed in Kentucky Derby duds, and mounted on large white stallions.
"What on Earth are you two doing now!" she wailed, pulling on her pink locks.
"Well duh," the sun shaped ninja star said, "we're racing in the Kentucky Derby."
And race they did, oh what a racy race it was, with lots of races cheering the glories of the race! And when it was over, there stood our hero, triumphant against the great evil, of the day!
"What evil!" Beauty cried, teeth as sharp as talons, eyes completely white. "There was no evil here, all they did was race!
"Hmm, you may be right there, Beauty," Bo-BoBo said.
"No Bo-BoBo," cried a small man crawling out of his nose. "This was our day, our glorious wonderful day!" Then his wife pulled him back in the hero's nose, and slammed the metal door shut on his nostrils.
"Hold it right there, adult!" came the cry of a young boy holding a mustard gun, and donning black shades. He wore a red shirt, gray shorts, and spoke in a British accent. "I'm here to stop your insidious plot to hypnotize children with this boring sport."
Bo-BoBo looked at the boy and gasped. "My God, King Baldy Bald as got children working for him now! Well it's Snot-Fu you!" The metal doors to his nose opened and large whip like nose hairs rushed out at the boy.
"King who? I'm Numbah 1 of the Kids Next Door! We combat all adult tyranny!" He shot mustard at the nose hairs and rolled on the ground.
"Hmmm, if what you say is true, then you really didn't want to lose your hair in the first place."
"What are you talking about, he didn't say that?" Beauty roared.
Ah but it was true Beauty, as we have seen in the episode with the Fountain of Youth, the insidious Delightful Children from Down the Lane, kidnapped and made Nigel Uno balder than King Baldy Bald himself!
"Thank you announcer person," she grumbled.
You are very welcome!
"So, wait, you're not trying to enslave kids?" the boy asked.
"No, but if you want me to believe you, you have to do, one thing!"
"And that would be?"
Bo-BoBo removes the top part of his hair and points to two hungry little squirrels holding plain hot dogs. "Could you squirt some of your gun onto their hotdogs please?"
"Er, okay." Numbah 1 used his gun on the hotdogs, and then disappeared from the scene.
"Now, the evil shall have their due!" Bo-BoBo roars triumphantly.
"For the last time, what evil?" Beauty roared.
Bo-BoBo uses his Snot-Fu and his nose hair rushes into a bush, dragging out the Delightful Children, and tossing them around like dolls, before he pounds the living day lights out of them.
"Wait, I don't understand, where did that bush come from? And how did they get in it?" Beauty scratched her head, and sighed. It was just another abnormal day in her life. Little did she know it was going to get much weirder in the coming days.
Has Bo-BoBo truly triumphed over the evil today? Will the Delightful Children ever learn their lesson? Where did Nigel Uno go after he gave the squirrels their mustard, and why was he so stingy with the ketchup?
"All we wanted was a little ketchup too," cried the squirrels, "was that so wrong!"
Will Bo-BoBo return to Kentucky next year to defend his title? And what happened to Don Patch? And WHY IS THIS STORY CALLED THE BO-BOBO FILES? Stay tuned fans, and we'll be back with these and other answers next time.
Okay, I can seriously say I had a blast writing this. I hope I get enough reviews to keep it up, because I totally want to do more! What did you all think of it? Review, Review, Review, and let me know!