DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE, I ONLY RAPED IT.
PAIRING: 8059
A/N: I took some liberties with I think, but I'm not even sorry!
Who cooks normally?
Tsuna, Dino, and Yamamoto looked between the siblings nervously. Gokudera and Bianchi has been fighting since Dino and Tsuna arrived, and by the time Yamamoto came home, their throats were sore from shouting.
"Look! Juudaime mustn't be bothered with this for obvious reasons, Bronco can't even eat without injuring himself, let alone cook, and he can only make sushi!" yelled Gokudera, pointing an accusatory finger at Yamamoto.
"At least he can do something without setting his house on fire!" Bianchi snapped. "I will not let you anywhere near the kitchen!"
"Well, you're not going anywhere near it either! Your food is poison, okay?!"
Yamamoto smiled. He and Gokudera had both agreed they were equally horrible at cooking, but only Yamamoto knew that Gokudera had given up trying completely. Still, the need to prove himself to Bianchi was stronger than Gokudera's common sense. It's not like Gokudera didn't know he was a failure in the kitchen. He just didn't want for anyone else to know about it too. It was their secret, his and Yamamoto's, only theirs, even Tsuna didn't know. And Yamamoto simply had to keep it.
"Let's just order some pizza, ne?"
#
What do they do when they're away from each other?
"What do you mean what am I wearing? A school uniform. What else am I supposed to be wearing? What? What do you mean where am I? At school. What time do you think it is? No, Yamamoto it's not. It's lunchtime here. Ever heard of time zones? Yeah, I'll call when I get back home. We can try what exactly? Mhm. Wha- Were... were you trying to have phone sex with me just now? NO! DO NOT CALL ME! EVER AGAIN! DO YOU HEAR ME, BAKAMOTO? NEVER! AND DON'T COME BACK! STAY THERE AND DIE! BAKA!"
#
Nicknames for each other?
"Baka. Baseball baka. Sword baka. Bakamoto. Did I miss anything?" Gokudera asked sweetly, a mean smirk stretching across his face.
"I would say you missed Yamamocchan, but this particular nickname actually feels like an insult, unlike the others" answered Yamamoto, mirroring Gokudera's smirk.
Gokudera sputtered a bit, not really expecting a banter, but quickly narrowed his eyes menacingly.
"Don't get cocky with me, or else..."
"Or else what, Goku-chan?"
Okay, so Yamamoto felt like being mean from time to time, who could really blame him? But Gokudera's mean smirk was replaced with a pure evil one, and Yamamoto shivered slightly, despite himself.
"Oh? Well, if you think Longchamp's ugly habits are worth picking up, maybe you should ask him to help you pick up one of his ugly ex-girlfriends too, because next time I see you, you only get blown up."
No one could actually blame him for wanting to be mean, but Yamamoto really should have known better than that.
#
Who is more likely to pay for dinner?
Yamamoto doesn't understand why is Gokudera so opposed to eating out somewhere other than his dad's restaurant. Is he ashamed of being seen with Yamamoto? Of course he is, that's not even a real question. But they hang together basically everywhere, during and after school, and as much Gokudera complains, they never actually hide. So it can be it. He can't get his head around it on his own, so he decides to just ask Gokudera. When he does, Gokudera flushes furiously and changes the subject to Tsuna. Yamamoto lets it go. For the time being. The next time he asks, Gokudera is sated and sleepy, so he actually slurs an answer.
"It's because I spend all my money on cigarettes and explosives, so I never really have enough to pay for myself, and I don't want you to pay for the both of us. I figured your dad's is the only place you wouldn't have to."
Yamamoto is actually kind of stunned. He wants to press it, but he just kisses the slightly red tip of Gokudera's ear, smiles and closes his eyes.
#
Who steals the covers at night?
Of course Gokudera believes in post-coital cuddling. Just... with the blanket, not Yamamoto. And Yamamoto is totally fine with that, still hot and panting long after Gokudera hogs up all the covers and falls asleep. Because Yamamoto is like a dog, and Gokudera is like a cat. And by the time Yamamoto starts feeling cold, the breathing next to him evens out, and he can safely sneak in between Gokudera and the covers. He will come with some excuse in the morning. He always does.
#
What would they get each other for gifts?
"What do you want for Christmas, Yamamoto?"
"A tie."
"I got you a tie last year. And the year before. And the year before that."
"Yeah? Well, I liked them. I want another one."
"Why do you always want a fucking tie?"
"They're practical. And you have a good taste."
"Why do you always think sucking up to me will get you out of the conversation?"
"Because it always does. What do you want for Christmas, Gokudera?"
"A tie."
"Again?"
"Yeah, again."
"Okay, so pick one for yourself too, then. I'll pay you back."
"Hmpf. Whatever. I do have a great taste, though."
"I know."
#
Who kiss who first?
Gokudera kissed Yamamoto for the first time at Juudaime's sixteenth birthday party. It was awful. The kiss, not the party. The party was spectacular. It was Juudaime's party after all. But the kiss was awful. Maybe because Reborn spiked the punch. Maybe because it was Gokudera's first kiss ever. Maybe because Yamamoto was too stunned to actually respond. Maybe because Gokudera fled the party after that and had to grovel before Juudaime the next day. Maybe because it was amazing.
#
Who made the first move?
Yamamoto confessed to Gokudera at the day of their graduation from middle school. He gave him his button, and said many embarrassing things he doesn't even remember anymore. Gokudera didn't say anything. But he didn't punch him in the face either. Yamamoto had to wait six months to get an answer. It came as an awful, awkward, drunken kiss, and it was worth the wait. It was worth everything.
#
Who remembers things?
"Hey, Gokudera, remember when we-"
"No."
Yamamoto pouted briefly, before his face lit up again.
"Hey, remember when Tsuna-"
"Yes."
#
Who started the relationship?
"We are not in a relationship, Yamamoto. We have sex."
"Only with each other."
"For now, yes. Doesn't mean anything. Look. I started it, so I get to define it. And we are not in a relationship. We have sex."
"And go on dates."
"When have I gone on a date with you?"
"We are on a date right now. See? Public space. Alone. Food. Talking."
"This is a school rooftop. And we're here alone because we're not supposed to be here. Also, we didn't even pay for this food, Nana made it. And we're not talking, I respond to your idiocy with snark."
"But you respond."
"Of course. I can't let you believe that eating lunch in school is a date, if you plan on spending time with Juudaime. After all, there is no actual proof that idiocy isn't contagious."
"But you're fine, and we're dating."
"Maybe I'm just resilient. Sheer exposure made me immune."
"You realize you just admitted we're in a relationship?"
"What? Okay, that's it. I started it, so I get to end it. We're no longer in a relationship. Not that we ever were. Don't laugh, baseball idiot, this is not funny! It just proves that idiocy is contagious! You gave me an idio-STD! Stop laughing, damn it!"
#
Who cusses more?
Gokudera lets out a string of curses so loud, he doesn't even hear Yamamoto's laughter-riddled apologies. When he finally finishes ranting, Yamamoto laughs again and says that Gokudera has a really foul mouth. Gokudera squints at that, brows furrowed in an angry scowl, still rubbing his aching foot.
"Oh yeah? You have a fucking problem with that, baseball idiot? Let's see if you'll have a problem with this damn foul mouth of mine not going anywhere near your dick for a month, how about that?"
#
What would they do it the other one was hurt?
It's not like Yamamoto feels bitter about not being Gokudera's primary concern during the battle. He knows that Tsuna's safety is their priority. What he feels bitter about is the fact that it really isn't. A priority. Not for him. Not when Gokudera is in danger. Because he has no idea what he would do if Gokudera got hurt. He doesn't trust himself. He doesn't trust himself to even think about it. So he just laughs from his hospital bed, and apologizes for not paying proper attention. He says he knew Gokudera got Tsuna's back, so he wasn't worried at all. He doesn't say that the blow wasn't even aimed at him in the first place. Because Gokudera simply cannot know that Tsuna is not Yamamoto's priority. That he never has been and he never will be. Because Yamamoto likes it when Gokudera gets angry at him for getting hurt. Not for not having his priorities in order. He's selfish like that.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed at least some of them :)