A/N : hi this is my first ever uploaded fanfic, so please be nice :) i hope you enjoy!
He slams the door to his apartment, confused and hurt. She knows how he feels about cheating, and she kissed him anyway. She put him in that position, even though she knew. And so he focuses on that anger, because he can't focus on the feel of her hands around his neck less than an hour ago, or the smell of her perfume as she walked towards him, or her soft hair tickling his cheek as she pressed her lips to his. He doesn't know what he'll do if he focuses on that, which is why seeing Paula in his living room is both a blessing and a curse. The guilt spreads through him like a fever, but she is a welcome distraction from all thoughts of Donna. She's great, and he really, really likes her but he doesn't want to ask himself whether he loves her, or whether he loves that she distracts him from the redhead that consumes his thoughts.
They talk, and he forces himself to focus on their conversation. "Move in with me." He breathes, and she says no, of course, and he tells himself not to be relieved. He doesn't even know why he asked. Well, he does. He wants a distraction all the time, because if he doesn't have one, he's going to have to face up to his feelings. He's going to be picturing what it was like to wake up next to Donna after the Other Time, and he's going to start thinking that even in those dreams that he longs to block out, Donna is a better girlfriend for him than Paula ever could be. And it's nothing to do with Paula, not really. She's smart, and funny, and kind and everything he should love. But she's not sassy enough to balance his wit, and when she calls him out on his bullshit he gets angry, and she can never just get him. She's not Donna, and he thinks that maybe that's what he likes most about her. So he lets her leave, and he tries (and fails) to have a dreamless sleep that night.
He lets out a sigh when he sees Donna sat in his office the next morning. She was stunning, which made him even angrier. In that moment, he didn't want to tell her how much he loved her. Or how beautiful she looked, or how grateful he was for her. Or even that he didn't regret their kiss, because he was sure that whatever the consequence of his words would be, he wouldn't want to showcase them to the rest of the office through his glass window. So, instead, he lashed out. Made her feel awful, which he hated, and made her promise that it would never happen again. Because he thought that if they were both trying not to let anything happen, they might have more luck. So that was that, and he refused to talk about it any longer. Until Paula made her resign.
Breaking up with Paula hurt, but not as much as he thought it would. She ended up a pit stop on his late night journey to Donna's apartment, and he tried not to think about the symbolism of that, so he went to apartment 206, and he ripped up the resignation letter, and he got her back. And he used every shred of strength in him not to stride into her apartment and claim her as his own, because he knew that he'd regret it if he did, and he never wanted to feel guilty with her. So he left, only to return two nights later with another agenda.
He'd had a drink, or three. He wasn't drunk, though, because he knew that she wouldn't take him seriously if he was. So he only had a few, as he wouldn't have even gotten as far as his apartment door if he didn't have a splash of alcohol to take the edge off. He knocked, mind racing and heart pounding. There was no immediate reply, which wasn't surprising, seeing as it was 1am. He smiled when she opened the door, loving seeing her in her half awake state.
"Harvey? What are you doing here? It's 1am!" She questioned, pulling the door open for him to walk inside.
He didn't answer, just strode in and pushed the door shut.
She furrowed her brow, only uttering, "Wha-" before he silenced her with his lips.
He was nervous at first, but she responded quickly and wound her fingers through his hair, intertwining herself with him unconsciously. He reacted immediately, backing her into the wall with a low growl, desperate to ease the longing that they had been fighting for twelve long years.
"Wait, wait." Donna pulled away, breathless.
"What's wrong?" He asked her, confused at her sudden change.
"I can't do this again, Harvey. Not until I know where we stand. It can't be like last time." She said, fighting to keep her voice even at the thought of him walking away.
He pulled her towards the couch gently, sitting next to her.
"So." He said, unsure of what to say.
She rolled her eyes, deciding to say her thoughts instead, "Why now?"
"I... look, Donna, do we have to do this tonight?"
"I need to know that you won't run away again, Harvey."
"Seriously? Do you know how hard it was to swallow my pride and come over here?"
"Do you know how hard it is for me to say no to you?"
"Then don't! We both want this, Donna."
"I don't know what 'this' is, Harvey!" She gestures between them almost viciously, "I'm so tired of getting my hopes up and then watching you walk away again."
He hears her voice crack almost imperceptibly and he melts, threading his fingers through hers.
"I'm not running away this time. I want to do this. Need to do this."
"Need?" She replies with a smirk, echoing a conversation from long ago.
"Nee-" He tries to finish, but she cuts him off with her lips before he can continue. After a moment she pulls back again, and he groans in frustration.
"Are you drunk?" She asks, worry in her eyes and the taste of whiskey on her tongue.
"No." He moves his lips to her neck, desperate to continue.
"You sure?" She asks, breathless.
"Yes." He rolls his eyes, moving back to her lips.
"Re-" She starts, before he cuts her off with, "Donna!"
"I'm just kidding." She smirks.
"I hate you." He groans.
"No, you don't."
In between kisses, he manages, "No, I really, really don't."
Hi again! Please leave a review, because I'd love to know if I should write/upload more fics. Also, if you have any fic ideas (T-rated) then I'll try and write them if you leave them in a review. Thank you ️ - Katie xx