DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER.
I was the Gryffindor Know-it-all, residential nerd, Valedictorian, and best friend to Harry Potter. That's how I am always remembered. Except to my husband. He works with me at the same school. The school we both went to when we were younger. He is 35 and I am 25. I feel cherished when I'm around my husband. She makes me feel like I am my own person and respects what I am. Inside and out.
My name is Hermione Granger and I am married to the Potion's Master Severus S. Snape. People never could imagine that we would be together. But here we are married, going on our fourth year going on fifth as husband and wife.
Early in our marriage, we couldn't keep our hands to each other. I had been a virgin when we got married and he respected me for that. He says he's glad that he was my first and last. I liked the idea when he reminded me of it. We always laid out on the couch or bed just enjoying each other's company. We were hardly separated within the first three years of our marriage. We began to not spend as much time together due to classes and functions.
I really miss the way nothing matters in the world except us. Lately it's been worse.
He doesn't want to spend anytime at all with me. I opt to spend time no matter what. If that is me sitting on the couch with him doing papers on the desk. As long as we are in the same room I am happy. It means I stay up-to-date with him and everything he does. But he locks his door so I can't come in. It tried to get in one day and he came to the door.
I had met him with a smile but it was shot down. He told me to leave so he could finish his work in quiet. I was heartbroken when he went back in, locking the door as he did. I stayed there for ten minutes and left for the bedroom. He came to bed five hours later. He didn't even try to reconcile with me. He just laid down and went to bed. Me? I stayed up the whole night wondering how this got this way.
Now we hardly see each other. He spent so much time either in his lab or study. I tried getting him in the mood four times, each time I fell flat on my face. He had turned from me saying that he couldn't do it right then. So I stopped trying to seduce my own husband. The last time I tried to seduce him was three months ago.
He began to miss almost every meal. I got so tired of not being with him, that I stopped showing up as well. I began to skip meals. I didn't go to breakfast, lunch or dinner. When I would become hungry, I'd go down to the kitchen only to be ridiculed by my husband. He had once told me that I have a full three meals, that there was no need in going back to the kitchens.
That night my best friend was a good bottle of whiskey. I drank until the wee hours of the morning. That's how he found me. He found me in the chair by the fire with a empty bottle. He yelled at me for being irresponsible. It had been an exam day. I just couldn't take it anymore. I just got up to go to the bathroom. I silenced and warded the door as I felt the queasiness set in.
I stayed in the bathroom for a while. I downed a hangover potion after the first time and waited. It didn't take long for it to settle in. I took out my spare teacher's robe from the bathroom and put them on. They had fit perfectly a year ago. Now, they just hand off of me. No one could tell anything was wrong with me until I administered a test. I was passing them to out to the students when I lost consciousness. I woke up half an hour later to the infirmary. Pomfrey raced over to me. She examined me. She first said that I wasn't pregnant, so she had me take off my clothes. I was hesitant until she began to push them off. What she found made her gasp. She asked me what I did to myself. So I told her I just wasn't hungry for a while.
She scolded me and was about to call Severus when I stopped her. I didn't feel like being scolded again. Not from him. It took some convincing. She finally relented if I came and ate at least once with her a day. I nodded my head rapidly in response. She helped me up and took me to dinner. Severus wasn't there, yet again. We sat down and she loaded my plate. She gave me a lot to eat. It was hard to eat it all but it was to keep Severus off my back.
This still goes on but Severus never found out about it. Just yesterday, he told me he was going to have dinner with an old friend. I just nodded my head as he headed out the door. An hour after he left, I needed certain supplies for certain women things. I went to Hogsmead to get the Carol's woman. I passed by the window of the Three Broomsticks to see my husband sitting there with a leggy blond, with a perfect figure. No wonder he didn't want to touch me when he could have that.
I left broken hearted to spend yet another night with a bottle of liquor. My choice? Tequila. I spent a good three hours drinking away my problems when it struck ten. I wobbled my way to our cabinet of potions. I grabbed a hangover potion and downed it as fast as I could. After five seconds I was good but hit with the emotions I tried to keep dormant. I went back to the sitting room only to dispose of the tequila bottle.
He came home thirty minutes later. I was in bed for ten minutes when the door opened and closed gently. He just came right in to our bedroom and changed. He changed and got into bed. Tonight he actually slept closer to me. When I knew he was asleep I moved from him to the sitting room. I just continued to stare into the fire until sleep took me. I woke up with a stiff neck. It was and hour and a half before classes. I pulled my depressed self up and went to the bathroom. I walked in only to see Severus naked.
I immediately closed the door, fearing a yelling. I swiftly made my way into the bedroom and changed super quick. I left without seeing him. I made my way to my office. I had papers to grade and I had nothing better to do. I got there to see the mountain of papers that I had due to give me something to do. I was in there for a good hour with almost everything done, when someone came in.
I yelled out "Class has no started yet." I went ignored as the footsteps grew closer. They stopped right beside me. How dare a student think he can disrespect me. I whipped my head up to find the man who caused me so much pain. I just stared at him and started to move away when he stopped me.
"Why weren't you at breakfast?" he asked gently yet accusingly. He said it in such silk kind of way that I shivered. I hated what his voice could do to me. I began to get to hot to be around him. Months of nothing will do that for you.
"Why do you care? You're never there." I said as I concentrated on my papers. I heard him sigh as he grabbed the quill out of my hand. I look up to yell at him when he interrupted me.
"Tell me what's wrong Hermione?" He asked. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't tell him I saw him with another woman.
"Nothing's wrong." I simply put it. I just stayed there until the bell rang. 'I guess you should get to your potions." I hissed as I got up from my chair to greet my students. I was pulled back by a strong, thin hand. Severus had an infuriated look on him yet confusion reigned on his face. I pulled my eyes away from him and looked behind him.
"We will talk after classes are done. Meet me in our Chamber at dinner. There is something I wish to discuss." Severus said as he left the room. I couldn't believe he ordered me to do something. I got up with anger in my body and begun my classes. Let's just say that no one received any points and the least amount of loss points were in the hundreds. Everyone was scared of me that they learned not to mess with me when I am mad.
Word got around that I was in a bad mood. I didn't care. I didn't go to lunch either. I hadn't really had anything to eat. Classes were over way to quick. I looked at the time to see that I had five minutes to face the inevitable. I knew he was going to want a divorce from me. I made my usual lonely walk to the chambers I shared with my husband.
I opened the door to only meet darkness. I begin to mutter about jerks, commands, and insensitive. The lights suddenly came on to reveal a well dressed Severus. I was shellshocked as I knew what was going to happen now.
"Have you called this thing to want a divorce?" I viciously whispered. I didn't feel so shocked when he put on a face of confusion and surprise. "Just tell me you want out and you can go to your little blonde." I commanded as I plopped down into my drinking chair. Severus was still standing there as he process my outburst. He came to stand in front of me, begging me to look at him. I didn't want to see the truth so I stared at the fire.
"Hermione. Why do you think I want a divorce?" Severus whispered as he knelt down to my level.
"You wanna know why? I saw you with her. You said you were going to meet an old friend. She didn't look old at all. She's blond, leggy and everyman's fantasy. That's why you don't touch me or wanna spend time with me." I pushed off the chair and walked straight into our bedroom, so to be his. I laid there for a few minutes as I let the unwanted tears spill out. I never even noticed the bed dip in as I was to focus on my failed marriage. A pair of arms slid around me. They felt familiar but were strangers as well.
I turned my head to see the destructor of my heart. I turn back around trying to free myself of his grasp. He held on tight. "Hermione, that blond is my sister. We had different fathers. I went to go see her on what was happening in her life. She has an abusive husband who keeps finding her. I had to talk her into hiding. I'm sorry if you thought I was going to leave you." He whispered concerned as he stroked my head. I felt myself slowly coming to the realm of sleep.
"Severus. Why don't you touch me anymore? Why don't you spend time with me anymore like we used to?" I whispered almost completely asleep.
"I didn't know I was ignoring you. I just had to deal with Serena and then I was so tired. I know that 's no excuse but I shouldn't have neglected you." He kept on whispering in that soft tone that made me fall asleep.
I woke up next morning to find myself in my bed gown. I was only wake for a second when Severus came in. I gave him a warm smile as he set the large tray of food near me. I dug into the pancakes as Severus poured me some milk.
"Hermione, what did you do to yourself." He asked as I swallowed my last bite of pancakes. I set down the fork and took a glass of milk. When my throat was cleared I didn't look at him.
"I just wasn't very hungry. I used to have meals with you in here but it changed to where I ate alone. After about the third time of eating alone, I just stopped. I ate when I was hungry, that wasn't very much." I said as I went to the bacon and sausage. Before my hand could grab a piece of sausage, Severus stopped me.
"Hermione. You shouldn't have missed meals. You could have eaten without me." he said as he picked up a sausage for her.
"No I couldn't. I was depressed so I just didn't eat. Simple as that. I used to go down to the kitchens but you stopped me one time telling me I shouldn't be hungry at all. That's why you found the empty bottle of whiskey that one time." I said in monotonously as I bit into the sausage.
I was suddenly being caressed by my husband. It was strange. I used to welcome it but now it's foreign. He could tell I felt different. He continued until he began to kiss my neck. I began to moan as it felt so good. His hands were going to my gown he was starting to lower it when I stopped him. He looked at me confused.
"I don't want to having sex with me because you feel like you think it's right. I don't want pity sex. I want to make love. Plus I don't have the body for any of it anyway." I whispered the last part almost inaudible. I was going to pull away when Severus pinned me to the bed. I was breathing heavy. Every touch he sent me had me wanting more. I couldn't let this thing get out of control, but my thoughts went else where.
His hands were all over my body as his mouth was on mine. Pretty soon we were both naked and he asked me in a shaky breath if he could make love to me. I moaned in response but he wouldn't procede until I told him.
"Yes, please make love to me." I gasped as he kissed me. We spent the whole day and more just making up for lost time. After the confrontation and revelations, we began to eat together, sleep together, spend time with each other and frequently made love.
It wasn't until three months later when I felt sick again. I went to Pomfrey to find out I was pregnant. I was in shock for awhile. I sat there for a hour until I snapped out. I asked what I was having and she told me a boy and girl. Twins! I jumped up and raced all the way down to the Potion's lab. Severus was in class, but I didn't care. I knocked on his door impatiently as he barked 'Enter'.
I entered in a slow stride up to his desk, which was opposite of what I wanted to do. I asked him if he could get rid of his class for a few minutes for me. He did as I asked and locked and silenced the door when the last kid left. He asked me if I needed anything. I told him there are a few things I do need , but they can wait a good five to six months. He looked at me strangely and asked what they were. So I told him.
"I'm going to need clothes, toys, diapers, rattles. Oh what else. That's right a crib." I told him in all seriousness as he looked at me confused. So I moved to sit in front of him and told him to come closer. He leaned forward suspiciously when I whispered in his ear.
"You are going to be a father of a boy and girl." I said softly as I put his right hand on my stomach. He looked at me confused until a light shown in his eyes. He got up and kissed her deeply. They stayed like that for awhile. He let go to ask how far along was she. When he knew how long he was shocked. Throughout my whole pregnancy he was supportive, constant, and loving.
6 months later.
"ARRGGHH!" I screamed as another contraction came. "If you ever touch me again Severus Samuel Snape you will never see your jewels again." I hissed at him as I came off my contraction. I whimpered for him and he came straight to the rescue. He held me close and hugged me tight when a contraction came.
Pretty soon he got behind me and held on to me as I pushed our first born son out of my birth canal. Ten minutes later the girl came. I was exhausted as I was handed the baby boy. We had agreed on name for them. The boy would be named Sebastian Severus Snape and the girl Selene Sarah Snape. I knew then that I would always have my Severus and my Sebastian with Sarah.
11 years later.
Selene and Sebastian were sorted into Slytherin. I was proud that they would grow to be like their dad and wasn't at all surprised. But I had more chances for Gryffindors or Ravenclaws. Sean Stanley was born 8 years ago. Simon and Simone were born five years ago. So I have three more to sort into our lovely houses.
I looked at Severus with the growing love I had for him day after day. He returned the affection with more than I could ever see him muster.
This is my life, my story, my family.
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