Premonition

Summary: She is pregnant with twins. OneShot- Leia Organa Solo. (EU) (Leia dreams.)

Set: If you put it into the chronological order, I guess this story's set during the Thrawn trilogy. But I went and added some characters. (Does Leia know Iella Wessiri already when she is pregnant? I don't know, but I like the idea of them being friends.)

Warning: see above.

Disclaimer: Standards apply. Quote from "Lullaby (Goodnight my Angel)", by Billy Joel (performed by the Wise Guys).

beginning

Cilghal's Mon Calamari expression was so different to a human's and yet. The awe in it was clearly visible, the stunned wonder at the fact that two lives were growing within the woman sitting in front of her. The Force whispered in anticipation and happiness. Even untrained and unaware as she was, Leia could feel it all around her.

These kids will be loved.

"You are a miracle," Han whispered into her ear, his calloused hands warm and strong on hers. His hair tickled her nose, and Leia laughed.

"They are a miracle."

Her husband kissed her, lightly, but in his kiss she could feel the depth of his love for her.

Precious, loved.

She took his hand and put it on her stomach, and his smile was so bright it warmed her from head to toe.

leia dreams

Two children, a girl and a boy, newly born, next to each other in a large cradle, a blanket tucked in around them. Moonlight, silver and soft, filters through the blends.

She knows this room.

Pink, flushed skin, down-covered heads, tiny fists: they are perfect. Beautiful. They are asleep, their soft breath ghosting through the air above them. Around them, the Force whispers lullabies, eager to send them beautiful dreams.

Miracles.

One of them – the girl – blinks as she awakens. Baby-blue eyes, still sightless, open to the unfamiliar world. Her first expression is surprise, then curiosity – and then, finally, displeasure. The tiny face scrunches up in unhappiness and fear as she begins to wail.

It wakes her twin.

Leia thinks she ought to calm the baby girl before her brother starts wailing, too, but the boy already blinks at his surroundings. Baby-blue eyes, as well, a fluffy down of dark blond hair. He has his father's features, she thinks. The boy turns his head towards his sister, minutely.

And the wailing baby girl quietens again and smiles a toothless smile at her twin.

i promise i will never leave you

And Leia loves them, more than anything.

apology

"Are you going to dress them in matching clothes?"

Luke inquired, carefully, and laughed when she shot him a lethal glance.

"Sorry. Just an idea."

Leia glared at him, mock-testily. "Pink for girls and blue for boys? That's clichéd."

"But it works," Luke pointed out. "At least you'll be able to keep them apart."

"We'll see about that," she said. "Besides, it won't be necessary for you, anyway, will it?"

Her brother had the decency to look ashamed. "Not really."

Leia put both her hands on her abdomen and felt the tiny seeds, the two lives growing inside her. The embryos were still too small to have their own presence, but Luke's reaction confirmed her suspicions. Her Jedi brother wouldn't need matching clothes or color codes to keep her children apart. Somehow, it felt like they would be his children as well as hers.

She did not know how to feel about that.

"Hey, Leia." Luke touched her face, carefully, pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. "You know it won't be like that. They'll be your kids, always."

"Maybe," Leia said and managed a smile.

Luke fell silent, looking at her inquiringly, and she felt his confusion, his worry and his pain - for her, for her children. Always for them, never for himself.

"Sorry," she whispered and leaned forward to throw her arms around his shoulders. "Sorry, Luke. I know. I'm not doubting you. I know you love them as much as I do."

His answer was a warm sensation in their twin bond, reassuring and comforting.

Beloved.

leia dreams

Two children, a boy and a girl, perhaps five years old, are sneaking towards the living room. The midday sun shines through the large window, bathes them in gold and silence.

The hallway is so familiar she has to swallow the lump in her throat.

The two kids now hiding just behind the door have dark brown hair, wild and unruly. The boy is all seriousness and calm; while the girl desperately tries to stifle her giggles. They are a steady presence in the Force, and, at the same time, ungraspable: water in her hands, dust dancing in sunlight.

They glance around the corner in grandiose holo-vid spy mannerism, completely obvious.

The girl is overcome by another giggling fit; she stuffs her fists into her mouth. Her brother turns with a warning glance, severe. When he sees her grimace he almost laughs out loud, as well.

Around them, the Force hums in adoration.

Untrained. Pure.

Now, the boy's lips form. The girl drops her hands, suddenly serious, and nods. He lifts his hands, counts down on his stubby fingers.

Three. Two. One.

And they both start running, dash across the living area and throw themselves onto the settee. A muffled voice grunts in surprise at the sudden, combined weight of two miscreants.

"Uff! What the-"

"Daddy!"

The joy in the children's voices is unmistakable and catching. The man on the settee, now completely awake, laughs, deep and rich. Leia can feel the pressure of tears behind her eye lids.

Familiar.

"You little-! This calls for serious punishment!"

When he starts tickling them, they scream with laughter.

regret

"How do you feel?"

Nowadays, the eyes of every person Leia met immediately shifted down to her stomach. It would have been funny if she hadn't felt so heavy. So bloated and fat. They said pregnant women were supposed to glow; if so, Leia had either passed said stage too quickly to notice it or it was yet to come. She suspected it to be the first rather than the latter. Besides, the question was kinda moot: did she look like she felt good?

She managed a smile, nevertheless, because she kknew the question was genuine. "I'm fine, thanks."

Iella's eyes remained inquisitive. There was a reason why her friend was one of the New Republic's best intelligence assets, after all, and one of the best interrogators.

"You look tired."

"I didn't sleep well." She'd been having dreams for the past months. Not bad ones, certainly not. But, more often than not, she had woken up in tears while she couldn't even remember what she had been dreaming. Han was always there, offering her comfort, trying his best to satisfy whatever cravings she had. But she had the distinct feeling the shouting incident yesterday night wouldn't stay the only one in the near future. Damn those hormones. "At least, Han didn't sleep, either," she joked.

Iella's eyes darkened, and Leia had the distinct feeling she had said something wrong.

"Hey." She put her hand on the other woman's arm. "What's the matter?"

Iella looked at her with an expressionless face for a few seconds. Leia just waited, patiently. And finally, her friend shook her head, her expression crumbling. "Am I that easy to read?"

"No." Leia smiled, clasping her hand. "But I know you. What is it?"

"You look tired. But you also look... happy."

"Yes." Surprised, she nodded, unable to withhold a content sigh. "Yes, I am."

Iella suddenly seemed much older than she was and with a pang, Leia remembered that her friend had, not too long ago, been forced to shoot her own husband. Whom she might not have loved, romantically, but whom she had loved, nevertheless.

"I envy you."

"Oh, Iella."

The woman shook her head. "No, please, don't pity me. But I really..." Her countenance shattered and she closed her eyes, her chest heaving. "I really want children, too."

Leia hugged her (was she getting all touchy-feely due to the hormones?), feeling her friend's shoulders shake subtly. "You'll have them. Do you hear me? You'll have children one day, too, Iella. I promise."

As it was, it did not feel like a promise that would be broken.

Iella seemed to sense it, because she did not say anything else. She just wept, and Leia held her, and maybe cried a little bit, herself, too. And then they laughed at their silliness and cleaned themselves up and called Winter and Mirax and went out for a girl's night.

leia dreams

They must be fourteen or so by now, those two children she has watched for what feels like forever, teenage kids with faces that whisper promises of what they will be and still shadow the children they are. The air smells like fall rains and peace.

The place feels alien and familiar at the same time.

"I am going to die of boredom."

The girl throws her head back in exasperation. Dark brown locks fall to her shoulders in soft waves; a lovely color, a lovely girl. Leia thinks Oh Force, she is beautiful.

The Force chuckles at their sight, besotted.

So beautiful.

"Too bad." The boy is the same build, has the same face. Force. His hair is a shade lighter, tousled and unruly. They are twins in every way, from the matching grins up to the way they cock their heads to the left inquisitively. "There's only twenty pages to go." He doesn't lift his eyes from the data pad he is reading. "And, of course, the essay."

Idly, his data pad starts floating away.

"Stop that!" He grins, though, and snatches the hovering device out of the air. In the meantime, a pillow sneaks up on the girl and hits her over the head repeatedly until she manages to grab it and throw it towards the boy.

"Stang!" The girl drops her head unto the bunk she is leaning against. Despite the rain the room is full of light, the air heavy with the scent of forest. Jungle, Leia thinks. It's jungle air. "Why do the Masters have to be so strict?"

"They did catch us trying to sneak out," her brother points out. "When we were expressively told not to leave the Temple."

"But it was solstice!" The girl sighs. "How can they expect us to stay inside during the longest day?"

"I guess they had their reasons." The boy looks up, again, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "The view was spectacular, wasn't it?"

"Totally worth it," his twin agrees readily, an identical laugh in her eyes. "Let's go again next year!"

"Definitely."

Every part of Leia, every single one of her cells and her thoughts, is full of love for them.

comfort

Winter always knew when Leia was worried.

Sometimes, Leia wondered whether her friend and aide was Force sensitive, as well.

She sat down with a sigh, stretching her tired legs. Carrying around two almost fully-developed human beings was exhausting. The twins kicked her, and she smiled. Sorry, brats. I don't mean it, really.

"There are these dreams," she started, slowly, wrapping her hands around the steaming mug of decaffeinated caf. With extra sweetener.

Winter looked at her attentively, listening.

"I dream of a girl and a boy. They are twins, it's very obvious, and very strong in the Force. It's like they shine with it. It's beautiful. They look…" She closed her eyes, fighting the tears. "They look so familiar."

Brown, tousled hair. A cocked head, a teasing grin. Laughter dancing in the air like sunlight. Winter's hand on her shoulder was comforting.

"Do you think," Leia continued, helplessly, "Do you think they are the twins? I mean, our twins?"

Her friend thought about it a long time before she answered. "I don't know," she finally said. "Could you be having premonitions?"

"I don't know."

"You should talk to Master Skywalker, perhaps."

"Yes." Leia resigned herself to the fact. "I probably should."

Another pause, so long and pregnant that Leia was almost sure their conversation was over. And then, Winter asked quietly: "Are they good dreams? Are they happy? The twins, I mean."

Closing her eyes Leia saw the glorious sunset, gold and red and violet sky viewed from a small mountain peak, the jungle stretched out all around and underneath them. The boy and the girl, sitting next to each other, content in their own brand of silence. The Force dancing around them, so full of love and protectiveness.

"Yes," she said, softly. "They are very happy."

When she opened her eyes again, Winter was smiling at her with an expression so tender Leia's heart overflowed.

"That's good, then, isn't it?"

"Yes." They smiled at each other: eldest friends, princess and aide, sisters, in a way: and always, always, more than that.

"Yes. That's very good."

leia dreams

There is a point when children cease to be children and become adults, and the twins have passed it already. They are clothed in full Jedi regalia, and the familiar mixture of sweet pain and pride threatens to choke her.

The Force whispers around them. It sounds like a lament.

"No," the girl says, resolution clear in her voice. But there is hesitation in it, too, and it scares Leia more than anything. "This is not right."

Her twin stares back at her: the same face, the same eyes, mirrors of each other. Two halves, one heart. They are so similar, always were, and yet there is a break in the pattern this time. The boy seems… darker. Hollow.

"Try stopping me."

The girl trembles, minutely, and clenches her fists at her side. "You know that's not the way of the Force," she pleads him. "You are angry. Anger and fear lead to the Dark Side. We've seen it before."

"Denying a part of us makes us weak," the boy replies, icily. His beautiful, warm eyes are cold and dead. "There is danger out there, you know that as well as I do. There is only one way to protect the galaxy. To protect the future of those we love."

"No," the girl counters, desperate. "No, please. You are my brother – my twin – I cannot lose you! There is another way, those visions won't come true, the future is ever-changing-"

"It's too late," the man says. Because he is a man now, and the girl grew up to be a woman, and the man and the woman are staring at each other across an invisible abyss. And this is where everything falls apart. Leia knows as well as they do, and everything in her cries out for them. The Force is weeping with a loss too great, too terrible, to ever be weighted.

"It's too late. There is no going back."

And Leia-

love

"Ssshh, shhhhh, Leia, love, it's a nightmare. Leia, wake up, can you hear me?"

Leia woke up with a start, a name on her lips, an endless scream wedged in her throat like poisonous thorns. She needed a few seconds to remember where she was and who was with her, and then she collapsed into Han's arms.

"It's okay, it's okay. Everything will be fine. Shhhh." Her husband patted her back softly, his arms a warm, strong barrier between the world and her. Leia clung to him like he was her only life raft on an icy ocean, and truly, he was. Han could always keep her nightmares at bay. It was one of the reasons why she loved him: his presence alone could save her.

Through their twin bond she could feel Luke's worry, his whole love projected into her.

i promise

Eventually, she calmed down again. The shaking subsided, though tears still ran down her cheeks.

"That bad, huh?" Han asked. When he tried to let go of her so he could look at her properly, she clung to him desperately.

"No! Don't leave me!" And, as he stiffened in surprise, she added, sobbing: "Please."

"Anything," he whispered into her hair. "Anything you want."

And Leia closed her eyes and tried to forget the faces of the boy and the girl in her dream, tried to forget the way grief had bowed the girl's shoulders and fear had twisted the man. Tried, desperately, and failed: there was nothing that could erase the sensation of complete and utter desperation that had accompanied her last dream. In her mind, the girl's desperate plea still echoed, again and again.

Han was warm and familiar and strong, and she held on to him until the dream faded. He held her even when her tears would not abate, and with every touch, every whispered word, every thought, he told her he loved her. Everything would be alright.

And Leia believed him.

leia dreams

The twins are training with light sabers. Obviously, it is not for the first time, but their movements still are shaky sometimes, careful at best. Hot, humid jungle air wraps around them like a blanket, and why, why backwards, why this skip, hasn't she already seen them grow up-

The Force sings with pride at its most precious children.

They circle each other carefully, both focused on their task, both aware of the lethal weapons they are holding. The pride – the fact that they forged their own weapons, the happiness at finally being padawans in their own right – still is etched onto their faces clearly. They drop onto the ground, exhausted, their heads next to each other and so close their hair mixes and they laugh, breathlessly-

They are alive. They are together.

Their love for each other is so bright Leia can feel it, can bathe in it-

The scene changes and it's the woman and the man again in the center of a dark, circular room, and Leia needs some time until she realizes it's a reactor room. Miracles, the Force laments, unconsolably, precious future.

The man is clad in black. The woman is wearing sand colors, and they are facing each other with lit light sabers.

Red. Violet.

The atmosphere surrounding them is a sickening clash between Light and Dark and grief.

"It is always about balance, isn't it?" The man mocks, his golden eyes glowing. "It always was. A girl and a boy. A Jedi and a Sith. Don't deceive yourself – it could as easily have been the other way round."

The woman doesn't reply, but her face is a mask of determination.

"Now, beloved sister, have you come to kill me?"

Leia opens her lips to scream, scream, scream, and the Force picks up her sound of agony, amplifies it, reflects it a thousand fold. This is a dance of fate that has been decided a long, long time ago, but she cannot accept it.

She cannot stop it. She cannot interfere. Leia is only dreaming, merely the audience.

The end is fast, bloodless.

They fight. An even fight, a stalemate. They obviously know each other perfectly. The clash carries them forward and backwards in the reactor room, dangerously close to the abyss of the core shaft, then again back to the gallery surrounding the room. Force lightning flashes, blue and horrid. And, in the midst of the fight, the Force screams.

Wordless, endless. Heart-piercing.

The Jedi stumbles on the edge of the reactor shaft. Maybe from tiredness, maybe she slipped. Maybe. Time stops as she hangs in the air, motionless, like a doll with her limbs thrown haphazardly in all directions. Suddenly, even the Force falls silent.

No sound.

No breath.

The galaxy dies in a heartbeat. In the fraction of a second, an entire universe expands and implodes in a silent, soundless light.

This is the end.

Leia doesn't know whether it has been her scream or a manifestation of the Force. The words are so clear she can hear their echo being thrown back from the durasteel walls surrounding them.

"NO!"

Something runs over the Sith's face, too fast to decipher it. Two steps and he is next to the abyss. His hand catches his sister's as she tethers over the edge, drags her backwards. Propels her towards safety, loses his balance himself, stumbles forward.

It is always about balance, sister mine.

There must be a way-

There is no other way to protect you.

Two hands that never let go of each other in the past meet for the last time, meet and depart. Two hands that found each other, even if it was in total darkness. Hands that led each other when the one lost his path. One last touch, one last smile.

A name on her lips, and the woman screams, screams, screams-

"LUKE!"

end

Leia awakens.