I was keeping a secret.

I hated being alone.

I hated loss

I hated fear.

I thought I could do everything myself, but I was wrong.

THE BEAST oneshot

There are lots of things I'd like to keep unsaid, yet somehow most just hang in the air, waiting to be figured out. You just plucked them out of the air, like magic. But you make me sick. "How can you be so happy, while your people just keep dying out there?" Only one of my questions for you.

You look at me and blink, then stare out the window. Stained glass leaves colors dancing on your skin like fireworks. "I've never really thought about it." You say, tapping your bottom lip with one slender finger. "Dying is a part of life, I guess."

"You guess? So you're not sure."

"When I'm with you, I'm not that sure of anything."

How can you make me so happy, so angry, and so sick all at once? "You're a witch."

"I didn't mean it!" Your eyes actually look hurt. Did I manage to make you sad for once? Your lips are trembling. Without really thinking, I reach out my fingertips and stroke them. I snatch my hand back. "I disgust you."

You laugh, a sound echoing like bells in my quiet castle. "You enchant me." You try to take my hand but I won't let you. I stand up, for the chair I sit upon hurts. You look up at me with that look. I don't know how to desrcibe it. I've seen people out my window look at each other like that, but not at me.

"You change the subject a lot." You stand up too, a head shorter than me, and place the small yellow crown upon my head. Your fingertips brush against my forehead as you flick a stray hair into place. The feeling leaves flutters in my chest. "Why?"

"Hmm?"

"Why does my chest get all...aflutter?"

You giggle, pink lips parting slightly to show gleaming white teeth. How can a mere mortal be so beautiful? "Aflutter? Are you sure? I think it means you like me."

"It could be something I ate." I say stiffly, turning away and beginning to pace. You sit back down and begin to draw a picture in the thick dust.

"Don't do that."

Of course you don't listen. You're a child. An annoying child who doesn't listen. "I drew a sun."

"Erase it. It's sunny outside, we don't need one in here."

"Hah!" You sit up straight and point a dust covered finger at me. "NOW who's the child, eh?" Your kind face is smiling at me again. I hate it when this happens.

"I said that out loud?"

"You say a lot of things out loud you don't seem to mean."

"I mean everything I ever say ever." **

You laugh, continuing to draw. "I've drawn a cloud in front of the sun."

This makes me angry. Who does this child think she is? Bursting in here, defiling my floor, annoying my royalness, now insulting me! "How dare you!"

You look up, wide eyed and innocent. "Hmm? What did I do?" I hate how you look truly apologetic. It makes me feel guilty, and guilt makes me want to puke.

"You are pretending you are the sun and I am the cloud. I ought to ban you." That's not a half bad idea. I point my finger, trying to look as angry as I can. "You are banned, cherry blossom!"

You wrinkle your nose. "I hate that nickname." You stand. "And I'm actually the cloud." You smile sweetly and wipe your fingers on your apron. "You're just so beautiful. Everyone is the cloud!" You open your arms wide. "You are the one who shines down upon us (unhappily, though). And that's why I love you!"

How can a fleeting being proclaim their love as such? I begin to pace again. "You are a liar, like everyone else. Of course I am beautiful, but you don't truly think so."

Arms wrapping around me. I look down, then over my shoulder. Your head is buried into the back of my shoulder and your beautiful pink hair covers your face. "Mumble mumble mumble", is all I hear.

"You are muffled in my shoulder. Come again?"

"If I said it, I mean it."

I am shocked, to say the least. Now here is where I have a number of choices. These are the moments I remember when I first met you.

I sit on the dilapatated patio, sipping tea and staring off idly over the countryscene. A pile of bricks stand next to my line of sight.

What was that? A giggle? I put down my tea. "Who is there?" I demand, standing up. "I order you to show me yourself."

Another giggle. From behind the bricks? "Are you watching me?"

"Yes!" Came a shrill answer. I cautiously walk over to the bricks and look down.

No one there? "Where have you gone?" I spin around wildly.

There you stand. You're wearing a long pink dress with whire lace. Your pink hair is pulled back in an elaborate bun. You wear an apron with stains. You hold my teacup with pale fingers, examining it with jade eyes. Upon seeing me staring, you look up.

Our eyes meet, and I feel a jolt. "What are you doing?" I inquire.

"...Oh." Is all you say. I gulp. This is the first time I have encountered an actual human for several centuries. "Well?" I demand.

You are silent. The teacup slips from your grip but lands on the table, unharmed. "What? Am I ugly? Do I repulse you? Get out." I demand, shoving you roughly towards the door. "Are you here just to see my horns?" I point to the long golden horns protruding from my head. "Well, now you've seen. Get lost!"

Suddenly you stop and grab my wrists. Our eyes meet again, and you're smiling again. "You're beautiful. My name is Sakura." You turn and run out the door. "I'll come back tomorrow, I promise!" You yell, waving and running backwards.

I decide to shove you away from me. "That's enough. There are...ahem, things...that I'd rather leave unsaid, alright?"

You smile and pat my shoulder. "Yes, I know. I love you too."

Thank god you understand. But you still don't understand the extent of my loneliness. "I need you to leave." You look so sad, so I continue: "I need time to think. I will call for you, so you can stop sneaking in my window. Alright?"

You beam. "Yay!" Suddenly I'm on my back on the ground, and you're squeezing the living daylights out of my torso. "Ouch! Off!"

You scramble up and help me to my feet. "Sorry, but I'm just so happy!" You radiate sunlight as you run out the door.

I close the door behind you. You are very wrong. You are the beauty, the sun, not the cloud which reflects it. You are the creator, the epitome of the sun. And I am so glad to have you. But it is a whole different story to tell this to you.

This castle I built with my own blood and sweat, my loneliness powering me on. If I were just to join you in mortality, this castle would crumble. Shall I join you and be in the sun, for maybe a fleeting moment? Or shall I stay locked behind this door and gather dust while you live and laugh and breathe happy without me?

I'm sorry. This is for your own good. I begin to lock the door with the heaviest padlock I can find. I bolt the windows, I close the shades, and I hide in the corner and wait.

Day and night pass by quickly when I rest. It must have been about a year when I wake to you knocking. "Are you there?" You call, and I bit down on my tounge so hard it bleeds. What I'd give to answer you! No, but my selfish pride keeps me silent. After a while you walk away. I sleep again.

Of course you try the window. I know if you happened to get in, I'd tell you everything at the risk of everything I had known. I would lose my beauty. I remember telling you this, once, that I had the choice to give myself up.

You just pat my cheek and smile. "You are beautiful no matter what you do. I would love you. I do love you."

Wet sparkles run down my cheeks. What is this? Is this what you called crying? I wipe the wetness off and stare at it, quite confused. But I'm not sad, I'm just...

Alone.

That word has never seemed so cruel.

How could I have left you at the mercy of the world? I have to find you. I stand up, fully awake and ready. It's really been awhile. There is a huge layer of dust on my hand. "Sakura..." On wobbling legs, I totter towards the door. How long has it been?

It's padlocked, and there is a heavy layer of dust. Holes have grown through the walls, a sure sign of age. I unlock the door and step outside into the sudden brightness.

The first thing I notice is the cottage. Smoke pours from it's chimmny. The cobbled stones that is is made from are old, I can tell. Pieces are falling off and crumbling onto the ground. Did you build that? Are you still alive? I run towards it and begin to pound on the door. The door is old, too. It crumbles a bit under my fists.

"It's open."

Your voice, only sounding so tired. I open it. "Sakura! Where are you?"

"The bedroom, my prince." Your voice crackles at the edges and makes me worried. I walk tentatively towards the room and push the door open.

Oh, but who is that? Who is the elderly woman laying in your bed, with hair like gossamer cobwebs? Who is it that wears your same smile, only older? Who has stolen your eyes?

"Sakura?"

"My prince..." Your voice chokes up, and the tears spill down your cheeks. You laugh, yet you're crying. I rush to your side. "Sakura! You're sick! We must get you to a doctor."

You beam, and there is a hint of sunlight in your eyes. "Oh, my time has come, my dear."

"No. I'm sending for you." I say firmly, taking your weathered hand in my own. Your other hand caresses my cheek, and my eyes close at your touch. "There are things...things I regret." I begin. "There are also things I long that are left unsaid, but mostly, there are things I regret not doing. I regret not ever telling you how much I love you, how I should've hugged you back, how I should've open my door wide to you and let myself be loved." The tears are spilling again. "I'm the cloud. You're the sun."

You keep on beaming. "I love you too, my Prince."

"Please!" I sob, my words becoming tangled with sorrow. "It's G-G-Gaara. All these years y-y-you've never known my name. Please, say it at least once!"

"My prince...Gaara." Your eyes are fading. "My name is Sakura. You're...beautiful..."

Your head hits the pillow.

Eyes close

breathing stops.

Even to this day, I refuse to believe what my eyes have seen. You're just taking a long, long trip. And this ring is the one I took from you (rude, I know, but how was I supposed to let you leave without a memory of you?) but it's also the one you gave me.

Here, says Memory You, take my ring. Jade eyes eminating the sun. I'll be back soon.

I'll take good care of it.

I know you will, Gaara, my prince.

So until you come home, my selfish pride will overcome anything else that tries to overcome me. I will guard my sanity until you return.

I will scatter this love you have given me among crowds, so you will find your way home. You will always be welcomed here, because you always have. From the first day you were hiding behind that pile of bricks and you almost broke my favorite teacup.

I will watch over people and tell them my story, so when they see you on your way home, they can inform you where I am waiting.

I love my cherry blossom, that annoying child I met an eternity ago. I had my taste of eteral love, but what I get is eternity instead.

It's okay, my dearest. I'll wait.

Just let yourself be loved.

Yay! Oneshot!

Okay, so has anyone ever seen the Vocaloid cover of The Beast by Len Kagamine? This is loosely based off of that. I wanted to write a oneshot for once, and this is my first try at it. It's my favorite song (I'm learning to play it on piano ^^) and my favorite anime couple combined! (excluding ShikaIno) Wrote this all in one night ^^ hope you enjoyed!

**= If you know what this quote is from, I love you.

If you've got any questions, comments, or suggestions, I'd love to hear them! ^^ I'd also listen to requests!

Lots of love,

Lady Atrophis :3