Most stories begin with introductions or a backstory but not this one because I can't remember anything before the pain. Despite this pain being so strong that I sometimes forget who I am, there has always been a little light at the end of the tunnel that made me feel loved.
That light is Riley Matthews(my best friend and the most caring person ever to walk the earth) she has everything I dreamed of having in my life when I was younger, a loving family, a nice house, lots of friends and a heart of gold and sometimes I still ask myself why she let me in through her bay window all those years ago when we are so obviously different.
My little plant welcomed me into her house and her family but I just got her into heaps of trouble. I'm a bad influence on her and everyone knows that but she still remains smiley and oblivious , I admire that about her.
I wish I was like her but no matter how I wear my hair or dress I'll never be as pretty or as innocent as she is. I'm ugly and get bad grades whilst she is pretty and one of the smartest people I know. Another thing that makes us so different is that she can be happy, but I can't as I have only ever known the pain.
I've always been the one who got left behind even at school I have to put up a mask of steel but Mr Matthews is getting suspicious and so is my new art teacher who is constantly telling me that this isn't who I really am. Matthews keeps watching me and constantly asks me if I'm okay and seems genuinely concerned ,which is rather confusing considering the fact that nobody had really cared before.
He shouldn't worry though, it doesn't matter if I'm okay because I'm going to die anyway, and I know I shouldn't make that day come sooner but the pain I feel when I slide the blade across my skin is the only pain that I am able to control and it's the only thing that stops all of my emotions bubbling over. I've spent years asking myself if I should tell them but I don't have a choice anymore. I left my diary at Riley's house and I know that they're so worried and desperate to know what is wrong that they're bound to read it. I write down everything in the tattered ,leather book from depressing poetry and songs to birthdays as well as my feelings and thoughts which have been gloomier than usual lately. I've been hiding it from Riles to stop her getting hurt but know that she is going to find out and ask now.
I just got a text from Shawn telling me that everybody wants to talk to me including him so I'm walking slowly over there now. I really hope they don't yell at me because I hate it when they do but that's probably the least of my worries considering the fact that the wind is so cold it bites at my too pale skin even though I'm wearing a long-sleeved top. Even I hate getting ill but that could happen if I don't get inside soon.
I run the rest of the way but only climb through the bay window slowly , making sure to ease myself up with care when I finally got through I checked to see if anything was visible through my sleeves but thankfully, they were too thick for that to be possible, after that reassurance I close the familiar window and walk through the doorway and down the hallway until I see the light coming from the living room just ahead. Taking a deep breath I step into the living room and see something that I definitely didn't expect...