Hey guys, this is the second out of three parts to the story Earwigging Embarrassments, the first instalment involved a rather embarrassing sleepover.
It's been ages since I uploaded Earwigging Embarrassments and nearly as long since I decided I was going to put it as a trilogy. But I've finally got this one up. I was a little apprehensive about turning it into a trilogy because EE was so successful on it's own and I didn't know if I could live up to the success in this one.
I hope you all enjoy it and I hope you R&R. For it to make more sense I'd suggest reading Earwigging Embarrassments just to fully understand what this is all about however it does make a funny one shot on it's own.
Disclaimer - I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, this is for entertainment only and I don't make money from it.
Sitting up in bed, Harry looked over to where Ron laid sleeping and listened to his friend's deep breathing, well it was more like loud snoring but he was in a nice mood.
Last night had been very embarrassing to say the least. The twin's eyes and ears had worked well… too well and he wasn't sure if he'd ever scrub the image of Hermione's fake penis from his memory. Even though the evening had been embarrassing for them all, there had been some very funny moments. Hermione getting in the shower with George by accident, Ron's over excitement cutting things short and Bill struggling to get it up. He frowned; maybe I should introduce Bill to Viagra he could do with a bit of a lift. Chuckling to himself he stepped out of bed and left the room heading towards the bathroom on the second floor. He would have continued his journey without a care in the world if two voices hadn't caught his attention. Tiptoeing he hid behind the wall listening to the conversation.
"What are your plans for day my dear?" Mrs Weasley he noted. The matriarch of the Weasley's was a voice everyone in the house knew well.
"Well Penelope and I are taking the girls into Muggle London to do a bit of shopping," Harry froze as he heard Hermione talk. Shopping! Muggle World! The image of Hermione's fake penis floated into his head and he knew what she had meant by shopping. He could do two things, let it go and allow them to go shopping it had nothing to do with him whether they went shopping for sex toys or he could tell the boys about what he had heard. It took a split second to decide option one was a stupid idea, his sex life was at stake here and he was the boy who lived, he deserved good sex just because he didn't die.
"What time will you all be going?" Mrs Weasley asked. Harry leaned in, he didn't know if leaning in would make a difference but it couldn't hurt to try.
"We'll have breakfast first and then we'll probably go. Fleur is still fast asleep and it will take her forever to get ready."
Right, after breakfast so that leaves a good hour and a half before they leave. And he wasted no time running off to wake Ron.
XXX
"The girls are going to the Muggle world to buy those fake penis things?" Fred cried eyes wide and jaw loose. "Who'd have thought my Mione would have started something like this," he said shaking his head "you're such a bad influence Fred,"
The others watched on in mild amusement as Fred began to discipline himself. Calling himself a bad boyfriend and that he would forever be known as George in case her parents were looking for Fred after seeing how his ways had turned their precious daughter.
"Fred shut up; we have more important things to deal with than you leading your girlfriend astray. My girlfriend wants to buy a fake penis and that fake penis will vibrate and she'll then not have a need for my penis," grumbled George his relationship was going well and he refused to be second best because of a vibrating penis.
"If Fleur gets a vibrating penis she'll not need me all together! Potter you must have an idea?" six red heads looked to Harry who was attempting to be in deep thought but really he was trying to keep grin from forming. Counting to ten in his head he took a deep breath and smiled to the six brothers.
"We could always follow them?"
"And stop them from buying the fake vibrating penis that comes in several different colours," Percy said grinning he knew he liked Harry for a reason.
"Well… not exactly do you remember them talking about secret fantasies?" the Weasley boys nodded "well where they're going to buy the vibrators there'll sell all the things we'll need to perform those fantasies. After a night of their fantasies they'll never touch the vibrators again," he grinned.
"Bloody brilliant Harry, bloody brilliant in deed. But the question is how do we follow them in to the Muggle World without being caught? Charlie asked, he was all for sneaking into the Muggle World but if it all went wrong he'd need to do a lot of grovelling just to get laid again.
"Simple we just put a glamour charm on us, change our hair and personal appearance and boom they'll never know it's us," the seven boys shared a smirk, oh yes today was going to be interesting.
Ron stood at his window watching the girls leave the Burrow; Harry had managed to worm the exact location the girls would be heading. Leaving his room he headed down the stairs to stand with the others. Mrs Weasley had left the house to go to Diagon Alley and Mr Weasley had already left to go to work.
"So who's casting the spell?" asked Fred.
"I'll do it, if it goes wrong I'll be able to rectify it quickly," Bill took out his wand and closed his eyes before waving it a few times and felt his longer ginger shorten, he opened his eyes and smiled when he saw it had worked. The only problem was he didn't know who anyone was. He looked in the mirror and laughed, his hair had changed from bright orange to medium brown in a short spikey crop cut. His eyes no longer blue where deep brown and all his freckles had vanished. He was still the same height and size but he felt different as though he didn't fit this new figure.
"Of all the hair colours Bill why did you turn me blonde?" Bill looked to the voice and smiled, at least he knew who Ron was.
Ron had platinum blonde hair, green eyes and a pale complexion he was shorter than normal but his hair stopped at his neck.
"I dunno the spell just happened to do that,"
"I like how Fred and George are still identical," chuckled Harry who's raven hair had turned a soft ginger and his green eyes went blue, he still had his glasses and the scar on his head was hidden from the sweeping fringe. He frowned; if it was brown it would have been a younger Justin Bieber haircut.
Fred and George had grown a few inches and supported slightly darker olive skin, bright green eyes and choppy dark brown hair; their features had changed slightly giving them a more Spanish look.
"How come I've ended up black?" said Percy, gone where the freckles and flaming orange hair and in place was smooth dark skin, dark brown eyes and an impressive black affro. His rectangular glasses where still sat on a now wider nose.
Charlie stared at his refection in horror, is short ginger hair had vanished and he was looking at long golden blonde, it was close to his ginger but with more yellow in it. He had lost a lot of his muscle shrinking him down to a slimmer size and his blue eyes had turned grey. He was surprised to see he no longer had burns smeared over his arms.
"Wow Charlie you look well weird, a bit like Lucius Malfoy" said Ron laughing.
"I think, when we're in each other's company we go by our given names but in case we're near the girls we change names. "I'll go by Daniel, Fred and George you too be James and Oliver, Ron become Rupert, Percy I think you should go by Chris, Bill call yourself Dom and Charlie go by the name Alex. That way we'll be able to keep ourselves under cover. They nodded and left the Burrow heading for the apparition point. Taking each other's hands they closed their eyes allowing the feelings of nausea to appear.
"I hate apperating," grumbled Percy readjusting his glasses before touching his hair, it was weird having an affro and he was looking forward to his boring ginger hair replacing it.
"Stop moaning Percy, we need to find the girls, any ideas Potter?"
Harry turned to George and nodded, "there's only one place I can imagine you'd get a toy like that from and that's Anne Summer's." the others shrugged and followed Harry as he walked through the busy streets of London, he was lucky that the Weasley's had been in to Muggle London before and weren't freaking out by the busy traffic. As the crossed the zebra crossing Fred stopped, "they're there," he cried pointing to his left to see the bushy hair of his girlfriend.
"Fred, don't stop in the middle of the bloody road," Harry muttered pulling the elder twin along scowling at the now olive skinned man.
"Do we follow them?" Charlie whispered watching as they entered the shopping mall.
"Yes but keep a good distance until they get in to the shop, we don't want them to feel as though they're being followed by a bunch of weirdoes. Now c'mon before we lose them."
They swerved through bustling crowd and headed in to the shopping mall. "Do you see them," Ron asked looking around but Bill was already ahead of them, he could see Fleur on the weird self-climbing stairs. "There!" the six looked to where Bill was pointing and jogged to the stair case, Harry decided it would be easier going up the stairs than watching them freak out on the escalators. He could see their reactions from the corner of his eyes as they climbed.
Reaching the top Harry stopped and watched the girls walk straight into the shop he didn't really want to go in.
"Harry is that the shop you want us to follow them in to," Fred whispered quietly but Harry said nothing and walked towards the doors, the six Weasley's having no choice but to follow. Harry had never been in the shop but he did know all about it. The underwear and fancy dress clothes we're at the front and the more intimate items like the vibrators and dildo's where at the back of the store. He saw the back of Ginny's hair and headed towards the back, he decided the best way to overhear them without been caught was to act as though he was looking for lube.
"Harry what are you doing?" Ron whispered looking at his friend; Harry was surprised to see all six brothers looked terrified and slightly daunted by the shop.
"Those vibrating penises are sex toys, and this is a sex shop. The dildo's are at the back of the store, so I'm going to go over there and look as though I'm interested in the lubricant and listen in to what they are saying. Just don't forget our code names." The boys nodded and entered the back of the store and looked at the tubes at the bottom.
"There's so many different colours, which one should I get," Katie asked looking at them.
"Zee's are 'uge!" Fleur gasped looking at the row of dildos and Hermione chuckled.
"Pick a colour but don't have a pink one because I don't want to get them muddled up."
"Nor a blue one. So that leaves you with: black, red, green, orange, yellow,white, purple and brown."
"I think, I'll have the black one. "Ginny said tiptoeing to reach the black dildo hanging on the shelf.
"Well Gin, you know what Muggles say… once you go black you never go back," Hermione and Penny burst out laughing, but Harry was horrified.
All the bloody colours she could pick she picks bloody black. He scowls but has to hide in the laugh when he looks to his right to see all of her brothers had turned a slight green, even Percy who now had dark skin.
"I'll have green; it's easier to hide when you live in the wilderness." Chloe said taking the green dildo.
"How the hell is a green vibrator easier to hide in the wilderness?" asked Penny frowning.
"Green grass and green dildo, look it works in my mind." Penny shook her and looked at Lavender.
"I'm having purple, it goes with my name after all," the blonde stuck out her tongue and grabbed hold of her new toy eyeing it hungrily. Now only Katie and Fleur had to choose and Katie was struggling.
"George has everything orange but do I really want an orange vibrating penis."
"I'll have zee white one, I vill not have a bright colour sticking out of moi,"
"C'mon Katie pick one already,"
"Oh fine I'll have the orange one, it'll match the bedroom décor." Hermione laughed at her words but handed Katie the orange dildo.
"Hermione, what are these?" Lavender asked holding the item in her hand.
"That's a butt plug and it does exactly what it says," Lavender frowned but curiosity sparked in her eyes.
"Basically you place it in your bum for pleasure and then you can have Ron penetrate you at the front and both holes are filled," Lavender's eyes widened before swapping the green one in her hand for a baby pink.
"Think I might take one of these too," she grinned and Ron could feel his face burn.
"Well Ronniekins she's got something for both ends now, she'll defiantly not need you." Fred chuckled.
"Before we go I want to get some lube, I've used up the one I like," said Hermione, backtracking to where the boys where now stood, she slipped in beside Harry and he watched as she picked up the self-heating one," I prefer this one because it heats you, but try any you like. The tingle sensation is good and you can even get flavoured ones. I specifically like the bubble-gum flavoured one," she said picking up the tube in front of the disguised Fred and placed a bit on her finger before popping it into her mouth. "Try some,"
Lavender accepted a gloop of blue on her fingers and popped it into her mouth and sighed. "That's gorgeous what other flavours do they have?"
The boys stepped back and allowed the over excited women to enjoy tasting the lubricant.
"I don't know what to say," Charlie muttered eyeing the green fake vibrating penis in Chloe's hands.
"Daniel, what does lube actually do?" Percy whispered,
"Well it helps penetration because a girl is wetter, erm but the flavoured ones are just for oral… I think."
"'ermione what zee 'ell this?" asked Fleur holding up a round item.
"It's a cock ring Fleur you place it on a man's penis and it reduces the flow of blood getting to the penis allowing them to stay erect for longer.
"Fleur pass me one of those, Ron needs that!"
Ron refused to look at Lavender and scowled, he watched the other girls giggle at his embarrassment; he also refused to look at his other brothers who he knew would be laughing.
"Hey guys, what you think to this?" the boys turned around and faced Charlie, in his hands he held a skimpy school girls outfit, it included a tight short white t-shirt, a skimpy pleated skirt, a tie and some white knee high socks.
"Well it certainly fits the naughty school girl fantasy," chuckled George, "but how do you know what size to get?"
"Just watch," he winked and walked over to the girls who were still looking at the different lubes. He walked next to Chloe and tapped her on the shoulder, "excuse me, I hate to be a pain but it's my girlfriends birthday coming up and I was wanting to get her this but I don't know what size she is, she is the same size as you, so I was wondering if you'd be able to help me out a little."
"Sure I'd be a size 12 in it," Chloe said smiling and Charlie nodded.
"Thanks now I know what size to get her," he smiled at Chloe once more and turned to walk back to the fellas smirking.
"Smooth Alex very smooth," chuckled Percy shaking his head.
"Penny, what are you getting?" asked Katie watching as the elder woman held three different tubes in her hand.
"I'm getting chocolate, strawberry and kiwi flavoured but I'm debating getting another tingle lube,"
"I vill get zee coconut and pumpkin flavour," said Fleur, "Can we go pay now?"
"Sure I'll just get a Bubble-gum and Apple pie flavour, Ron loves apple pie so I'll get lucky more than normal," Lavender winked and the girls walked over to the till.
"Hold on girls, I just want to get a few things from over here." Ginny walked past the guys without a clue that they were her brothers and boyfriend, she reached up and grabbed hold of a pair of black handcuffs and a black leather flogger, before taking hold of a pair of leather knickers with a hole underneath,"
"Ginervra Weasley, I am surprised with you." Hermione laughed looking at the items in her hand.
"They're not for me, well the knickers are but that's for easy access, I told you yesterday it was Harry who had the submissive nature," she chuckled.
"I don't know whether to be amused you're a submissive Potter or disgusted because my sister has bought a pair of peep-hole knickers," said Bill shaking his head.
"Shut up," grunted the red haired man, he could feel his face heat and he decided that the glamour charm had bewitched his face to blush like a redhead.
"What I want to know is do they come in blue," said Percy looking further up the aisle.
When the girls finally headed over the tills the boys were able to walk over and sample some of the flavours themselves.
"Do you know what flavours Hermione has?" asked Fred peering at the names on the tubes. The others shook their heads and he frowned, sampling the cherry he nodded and picked one up.
"Harry, Hermione said something about pornos to Penny. Is this what these are?"
"Yeah, you put one of these on and they have sex and it can be a turn on to certain people, have a look at one and pick the one you like best." Percy nodded and looked over the selection.
"Bill, I have something that could help you," said Harry who looked at the elder Weasley, he raised an eyebrow and followed Harry to the corner and looked at the pills in Harry's hands.
"What are they?"
"This mate is Viagra it helps you get an erection, not the cheapest of items but if it helps you get it up, then you might be okay for later on," Bill nodded and took a pack.
Harry turned around and watched as the girls headed towards the store, he could hear Ginny talking about having some dinner and then heading back to the Burrow and he knew it would be pointless to follow them now.
"This edible chocolate body paint, do you think that could be a substitute to chocolate sauce?" George asked holding the large bottle in his hand. "I'd say so Forge; now where would I find blindfolds?"
Harry stood back and watched as the Weasley's looked around the store for things to buy, he already had everything he wanted, the karma sutra, ridged condoms and blackcurrant flavoured lubricant.
"When do we get to buy all these?" asked Ron who had got a little over excited with the different lubes.
"We'll buy them now if you want, we need to get back before the girls do so they don't become suspicious." Said Charlie and headed over to the tills to pay for his items.
10 minutes later all seven boys walked out of the shop and headed back to their apparition point, the last thing they wanted was to be caught by the girls when they entered the Burrow with bags from Anne Summers.
They hurried through the streets of London crossing the zebra crossing where Fred had stopped the first time and jogged to the apparition point. In seconds they were now stood at the Burrow and with a flick of Bill's wand they lost their glamourized appearance and where now six red-reads and a chosen one.
"Don't think I'll be missing that blasted affro," said Percy while running his hand through the orange hair.
Jogging down the mud path to the front door, they peered through the window to see if Mrs Weasley had returned, and she had.
"What do we do now, we can't walk in there with these bags, and she'll ask us what we've been up to." Fred whispered looking back up the path hoping the girls didn't appear out of nowhere.
"Back door and sneak upstairs," said Charlie.
The seven males hurried around the house, climbing over the fence and slipped through the back door.
"I've an idea," whispered Bill, he handed his purchases to Ron "I'll go and talk to mum and distract her you go and put them away," the guys nodded and separated from Bill continuing their way upstairs. They could hear Mrs Weasley talking to Bill and they knew they were safe, hiding their things in their rooms; they nodded and quickly hurried down the stairs.
"Oh look the girls are back from their shopping trip," Ron looked at his mother before peering outside and left Mrs Weasley to go and talk to them. The boys sat on the sofa and smirked.
"Yes Mrs Weasley we had a lovely day out, but I think I want to throw these upstairs and just relax," said Katie smiling but kept a hand on her bag.
Hermione turned to Fred and smiled, "so what have you guys been up to?"
"Oh you know, not a lot." She continued to smile at him as she walked behind him; placing the bag on the floor she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
"Have you bought anything nice Mione?"
"You'll find out later on," she whispered huskily and he smiled before kissing her cheek.
He couldn't wait.
Thank you so much for all the reviews and favourites. Just to let you know I've posted the first chapter of Fantasy now that's all about Bill and Fleur. If you liked the first two instalments then you should definitely check it out.