Summary: After two years away, Mercedes decides she is finally ready to be with Sam. Little does she know his heart belongs to somebody else now. BLAM.
A/N: This story was inspired by Amy_violet, who wanted to me to write a fic where Mercedes finally decides she's ready to be with Sam and she's too late because he is with Blaine now. I don't know if that's what you had in mind (probably not) but I reaaaaally hope you ilke it.
I'm not too happy with it, but I hope you can enjoy it. Please, let me know what you think!
TOO LATE
Mercedes smiled as she looked through the window of the café she was about to enter and saw her former group of friends –well, the ones who still lived in New York, of course–, sitting there, chilling together, almost as if they had been frozen in time. Her heart ached for a second, knowing she could have been with them all along if she hadn't been so ambitious, but she forgot about it when she realized she would have never been able to live with herself if she hadn't tried. And of course going on tour with Beyoncé had been too great a chance to pass on. Even if she had totally failed at it, and had been fired when she couldn't stand being a mere back singer anymore and had asked for more.
But that was what had brought her here, to New York, more than two years after her last time. Her failure had been a big slice of humble pie, and maybe she should begin to accept she was never going to make it as a music star. Maybe she should start resigning to smaller things. Maybe it was about time to start thinking about having a normal life.
And that's where a certain blond entered his plans. She smiled again at seeing sweet Sam comfortably sitting on that sofa, handsome as ever, with Blaine perched against his chest while Rachel, Santana and Artie sat around them, all of them with a drink in their hands. Only Kurt was missing, and it was only because he was preparing some big meeting he had the next day at Vogue, he had told her that himself when she went to the Bushwick apartment looking for Sam. And luckily for her, because it was him who told her where she would probably find Sam at that time of the day. So with a promise to hang out another day, Mercedes had taken the address Kurt had given her and rushed her way to where she hoped she would find the love of her life.
Almost unable to conceal her excitement, she entered the place and stopped to watch Sam for a couple of minutes before they could see her. Gosh, he was still breathtakingly handsome, she observed, even if he seemed to be growing his hair long again –she would convince him to cut it once they were back together, no problem–. He still looked a bit rural for New York to her eyes, with his plaid shirt and his ripped jeans, but he surely looked more comfortable in the city that he had done when she left. She was not surprised to see Blaine practically lying on Sam's chest, although the arm the blond was keeping around his shoulders, their fingers entwined at the end of it, did seem a bit too much. But they had always been like that, both too clingy for their own gruffer partners, so they channelized their physical need for affection that way. It had never mattered to Mercedes, although Kurt had made some comment once about how inappropriate those two were sometimes.
"Hey, you guys" Mercedes said to announce her presence as she approached their table, and all the conversation stopped in an instant as everyone stared in astonishment at her.
"Mercedes!" Rachel exclaimed as she jumped to her feet to embrace her, genuinely happy to see her even beyond the shock.
"What are you doing here?" Artie asked as he wheeled his way to her to also give her a quick hug.
"Well, I just finished my tour and decided there was nowhere else I'd rather be than here, with my friends" Mercedes answered, trying to sugarcoat her way into the group again after so much time.
"Those friends you've ignored for years, you mean" Santana said with a cynical smile, but Mercedes didn't miss the worried look she sent Sam's way –who seemed prettified, by the way, the only movement in him when he turned his head to look at Blaine, probably searching for some silent support, Mercedes thought.
"Come on, I've just been so busy, I didn't mean to ignore you, guys" Mercedes tried to justify herself even if she could see she was not convincing anyone –especially Blaine, whose face was suddenly so pale he looked almost translucent. Gosh, he was protective of his friend, wasn't he?
"You have to tell us everything" Rachel encouraged her, and it seemed to Mercedes as if she was making too big an effort to break the tension. But why was everybody so tense? And why did they keep exchanging those looks between them? And was it just her imagination or they kept looking at... Blaine? "I heard..."
"What are you really doing here, Mercedes?" Sam finally spoke, rudely interrupting Rachel's tirade without even noticing, his gaze intently fixed in that of his ex-girlfriend's, not an ounce of sympathy for her in his voice.
"I was hoping you and I..." Mercedes started, but then realized she didn't want an audience for what she had to say. "Maybe we could have a talk? Just us?"
Sam sighed before he could stop himself and then he again turned to look at Blaine, as if to ask him for his opinion –almost as if he was asking him for permission–. Blaine just shrugged his shoulders almost imperceptibly at him, but he started getting up anyway to give them the privacy Mercedes was asking for. And yeah, that brush of Sam's fingers on the back of Blaine's hand as the latter stood up could very well have been an accident, but why did it seem as if Sam was trying to reassure Blaine, instead of maybe the other way around?
"It was getting kind of late anyway, so..." Rachel said as she put on her thick coat. "But you're going to stay around, right?"
"Yeah, I think so" Mercedes said with a smile to Sam that she was disappointed to see it was not reciprocated.
"Then I'll see you soon. Let's go, guys" Rachel answered as she put his arm around Blaine's and gently pushed him outside –again looking as if she was looking out for him.
Mercedes didn't understand what was happening with the small guy, but she couldn't say she cared that much once everybody was out and only Sam remained there. Exactly in the same place she had found him, because he hadn't even moved from his seat to greet her. But well, Sam had always had rough manners after all, it was something they would have to work on.
"Hey, Sam" she said in a sweet voice as she moved to sit next to him and rested her hand on his thigh in a familiar way.
"Hey, Mercedes" he answered in a colder way, looking quizzically at the hand still resting on his leg. "So are you really back?"
"That depends" she answered in a seductive tone.
"On what?" Sam asked in total confusion.
"On you" she answered before closing her eyes and leaning over towards him.
Sam understood that she was trying to kiss him only a second before their lips touched and hurried to lean backwards to escape the unwanted contact.
"What are you doing, Mercedes?" Sam asked, more than slightly irritated.
"Sam, I came back for you" she explained, trying not to get offended at Sam's rejection. After all, it had been a long time, it was just understandable he would be a bit confused. "I'm ready"
"Ready for what?" Sam asked with a frown, as if he was having real trouble following the conversation.
"Ready to give our relationship a try" she explained with a smile, hoping to get Sam to start warming up to her.
"You wanna get together with me?" Sam asked, apparently in shock. Poor thing, he must have been waiting to hear that for so long...
"Yes, that's why I'm here for"
"Just like that"
"Yes" she answered, now her being the one to get confused. Wasn't that what Sam had always wanted?
"You're amazing, Mercedes" Sam said after a couple of second of silence, as if he had been trying to find his voice after the bomb she had thrown on him.
"Oh, thanks, Sam, I..." she replied with feigned embarrassment.
"No, you didn't get me... It's your cold blood that amazes me" Sam corrected him in the coldest tone she had ever heard on him.
"What?" she asked, half surprised, half indignant.
"Why are you here?" Sam asked again, gently but firmly removing the hand still lying on his leg.
"I told you, I want us to be together" she insisted, even if she didn't like how the situation was going. Wasn't Sam supposed to be head over heels for her and dying to get back together with her?
"Like you did when you failed at LA for the first time and came back to New York with your tail between your legs" Sam retorted in a neutral tone, though by the expression in his face it was easy to see he was not happy. "What happened, did this magnificent tour with Beyoncé not work out?"
"It's not that" Mercedes contradicted him, refusing to admit that he had guessed right and she had screwed over her chance -again-. "I thought that's what you wanted"
"Yeah, I did. Two years ago" he retorted in a sarcastic tone. "Unlike you"
"I'm here now" she answered, as if that fixed everything else.
"Yeah, but for how long?"
"What do you mean?"
"You remember when we first started dating in high school? First you didn't want anybody to know about us. Then you didn't want a long-distance relationship when I had to move to Kentucky with my family, but then I came back, and you kissed me, but you broke up with that Shane guy and suddenly you needed to be alone. Then of course you moved to Los Angeles to have a career, and then you failed and came back but you didn't want to sleep with me and I said I'd wait but you broke up with me because you said didn't want me to have to wait. It seems to me as if you always had an excuse not to be with me, didn't you?"
"Ok, it doesn't sound too good when you put it like that but... I still love you" she said, trying not to listen to her heart telling her that it might not be true, that she was just settling up with him because she didn't have anything else.
"You've never loved me" Sam contradicted him with a sad shake of his head.
"That's not true" she replied in mild anger. Ok, she might have not been the best girlfriend, but she had been in love with him. Hadn't she?
"You know what I think?" he went on in that confident way he seemed to have learnt recently. "That you had some feelings for me, yeah, alright, but you were always too ashamed of me or you thought you were too good for me to really give it a try"
"That's not fair!" she protested.
"Isn't it?" Sam retorted with a sarcastic laugh. When had he acquired that confidence in himself, Mercedes wondered. "It's been like what... two years since you left? Were you seriously expecting me to just be here sitting and waiting for you?"
"I told you I'd be back if I ever changed my mind about the waiting thing" Mercedes insisted, even if now she realized how horrible that sounded.
"Oh, then forgive me if I got tired of waiting" Sam cynically responded.
"You sound as if..." she started to ask, but he didn't even let her finish.
"Yes, I'm with someone" he replied with a new-found pride in his voice and the ghost of a tender smile in his lips. And Mercedes wondered if just the mere thought of her had ever made Sam feel like that.
"Is it serious?" she asked, wanting to know what she was fighting against.
"Yes" he answered without the slightest hesitation. "I'm in a really committed relationship"
"Do I happen to know her?"
"Yes, you do happen to know him" Sam pointedly corrected him.
"Him?" she repeated in astonishment. How much had she missed in all that time?
"It's Blaine" he continued, as if it was just an insignificant bit of information and it was not going to turn her whole world around. But wait, Sam was a joker, he was always doing those pranks no one understood. He was just pulling her leg, wasn't he?
"Ok, you're kidding me, right?" she asked while trying to laugh, but the underrated expression in Sam's face froze her smile immediately.
"Mercedes, me and Blaine have been together for over a year, how can you not know?"
"I... haven't been in contact with anyone"
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Sam answered, full of sarcasm all over again.
"Wow, you must have felt really lonely all this time to get so confused" she lamented with a reassuring caress to his cheek. "I'm so sorry"
"What?" Sam asked as he angrily removed her hand from his face. "I'm not confused!"
"I imagine Blaine gives you things I wasn't ready to give you, but... as I said, I'm ready now" she insisted, totally misunderstanding how things were judging by the sudden indignation in Sam's face.
"You think I'm with Blaine because he will have sex with me? How shallow do you think I am?"
"Then why?"
"Why?" Sam repeated with a humorless laugh. "Because I love him, that's why"
"And how do you know he really loves you and you're not just a rebound for him?" Mercedes asked. She was not trying to be cruel or to hurt Sam, but she needed for him to understand how nothing made sense. "How do you know he won't go back to Kurt if he so much as asks him?"
"Kurt already asked him to get back together with him more than a year ago, Mercedes, and Blaine rejected him for me. He chose me over Kurt so yeah, I'm pretty sure he honestly loves me back" Sam explained, and Mercedes knew it was not going to be easy by the positive expression in Sam's face –had maybe Blaine contributed to that new-found confidence in Sam she had never seen before?–. Though that didn't mean she was going to stop trying. She was not used not to get what she wanted and she had failed enough lately.
"Ok, maybe he loves you, alright, but you…" she said, trying a new strategy.
"I what?" he asked in a cocky tone, daring her to doubt his love for Blaine.
"Are you choosing him over me? Are you really going to choose him over your first love?" she asked, trying to convey with her tone how ridiculous the mere thought of it was.
"I'd choose him every day of my life" Sam answered without the slightest hesitation, and he sounded so honest that Mercedes felt a stab of pain in her heart.
"What? Why?"
"Look, Mercedes, why don't we leave it here? I don't want to hurt you"
The fact that Sam still cared about her enough not to want to hurt her –even after everything she had pulled him through– gave Mercedes hope that everything was not lost yet. After all, Sam had loved her way before and for much longer a time than Blaine, and she was not ready to be won over so easily –and by a boy, on top of that.
"See? You can't even find a reason" she said with a smile as she took his hand in hers and entwined their fingers together, trying to make him see how good they still fit together. "I know you're resentful towards me and you want to punish me, I get it, but…"
"Look, Mercedes, let's just… stop the conversation here, before we start saying things we might regret" Sam answered, in a friendlier tone than before even when he again rejected her touch and let go of her hand.
"No, I'm not going to accept you choosing someone like Blaine over me" she said in a harsher tone than intended.
"Like Blaine? What is that supposed to mean, what's wrong with him?" he asked, sounding cold and irritated again, and Mercedes could see that antagonizing Blaine was not the answer –even if Sam was not really in love with him, he still cared about him as his best friend, so of course that was going to send him on the defensive.
"Nothing, of course, Blaine is a great guy, but… You're just confused and…"
"And that's you taking me for an idiot again, see? As if I need your guidance for everything and I can't make my own decisions"
"No, I didn't mean…"
"Of course you did" he interrupted him with a sarcastic chortle. "Ok, you want to know why I'd choose Blaine over you a million times? Well, that's one of the reasons. He never thinks I am stupid"
"And neither do I, I just..." she tried to justify herself, but Sam seemed to have had enough of her excuses.
"Yes, you did" he stopped her. "Every time I said something stupid you made sure I was aware of it. But you know what? I don't even know if I still say stupid things, because Blaine never makes me feel that way. He will always explain to me anything I don't get, but he doesn't think himself better than me for that or tries to make me feel as if I would be lost without him. On the contrary, other times it's him who will ask for my perspective on things, or even my advice, can you believe that? And he does value my opinion very much, you know?"
"I also do" she tried to stop his tirade and turn the conversation towards her again, but Sam didn't seem to be finished by any means.
"And he never tries to change me, he loves me the way I am. Blaine is never ashamed of me" Sam went on, almost as if now that he had been given permission to enumerate all the wonders of his fabulous boyfriend he was not able to stop. "Never. Sometimes I pick him up at NYADA at the end of the day, and you should see the way his face brightens up when he sees me. It never fails. And the way he always introduces me to absolutely everyone we meet, whether is a student, the janitor or the school principal. And the pride in his voice when he tells them I'm his boyfriend, as if he still couldn't believe it himself..."
"I admit that sounds good, but…" she insisted, only to be cut off again.
"And he believes in me, boy, he really does" Sam continued, and the dreamy expression in his face almost made Mercedes feel as if he had forgotten she was there and was speaking to himself. "He was the only one to see some talent in me, and he practically forced me to give Pratt a chance when I thought I would never do something useful with my life. If it hadn't for him, going on and on every day about how so much talent couldn't go to waste until I accepted, I would probably be in Lima or Kentucky with some shitty job, not expecting anything from life at all. And yeah, I still don't know what will come out of this once I finish my degree but… he gave me hope, and the confidence to try. He gave me everything"
Mercedes felt her eyes filling with tears at the expression in Sam's face as he spoke about Blaine. And yeah, she had to admit that it really seemed as if the small boy really loved Sam. After all, she had seen all the love Blaine had inside of him and how easy it was for him to share it with the world, so it was not that hard to believe he had really fallen for Sam like that… But that didn't mean it also worked the same way the other way around, right?
"Blaine is funny and sweet and caring and... amazing" Sam continued, but this time he looked pointedly at Mercedes. "And I've never felt so loved before as I do when I'm with him"
"So Blaine is perfect, isn't he?" Mercedes asked, trying not to sound as sarcastic as she felt.
"I don't know if he's perfect... but he surely is perfect for me" Sam confirmed very proudly. "And he seems to think the same about me. That's why I know you never really loved me. Because now I know what it really is to be loved"
"Ok, maybe he really loves you" she admitted.
"He does" Sam agreed with an energetic nod of his head.
"But…"
"But what?"
"You seem so grateful to him"
"I am" Sam agreed with a confused expression, not seeming to understand where the conversation was going.
"What if you're mistaking your feelings for him? What if you're only trying to reward him for everything he does for you? Or what if you're with him because he makes you feel good?" Mercedes asked in a desperate attempt, but the humorless snort that escaped Sam's perfect lips immediately told her he was not even contemplate that possibility.
"I'm very sure about my feelings for him, Mercedes" Sam answered without a trace of doubt in his voice.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I know how I feel when I open my eyes and his face is the first thing I see in the morning. And then he looks at me, with those amazingly huge and golden eyes of his and with that smile that lights up the whole room, and I swear I get scared sometimes that my heart is going to burst in my chest"
"Still…"
"And I know I love him by how I would spend the day away just running my fingers through his soft curls because it feels so familiar and intimate. By how my heart breaks if I ever see a tear in his eyes, even if it's only because of a movie or some other silly thing, and how I want to keep him in my arms until I can make it better. How he makes me feel like I'm invincible when he says he feels safe in my arms because he knows I will never hurt him. How I feel when he tells me I'm the best thing that ever happened to him when I perfectly know it's the other way around. How my heart melts when he is so at ease with me and trusts me so much that he will let his head fall on my shoulder when we're watching TV at the end of the day and and he will fall asleep at mid sentence. How the most crappy day turns into something beautiful as soon as I get home and he is waiting for me there with arms wide open and dorky laughter, making me forget in an instant why I even thought I had the right to feel down… How my heart starts beating twice as fast whenever he puts his arms around my neck and pulls me impossibly close for a slow dance. And how I can hardly keep a smile out of my face whenever I think of him"
And yes, that was true. There was a tiny, almost imperceptible smile in Sam's lips, but it had been there from the moment he had started talking about Blaine. Whatever was going on between those two, it was clearly reciprocated. And Mercedes' heart broke at how out-of-reach Sam felt all of a sudden.
"Can't you at least think about it?" Mercedes asked in a desperate attempt.
"No, Mercedes, there is nothing to think about" Sam answered with a sad a sympathetic smile. "Blaine is my life, my future. Whenever I picture my life in the years to come, it's him the one always at my side, whatever the scenario. And... it's a thought that makes me incredibly happy"
"You really love him" she said, not asking anymore but affirming it.
"Yes"
"And he loves you too"
"Yes" Sam answered without any doubt before that hideous tender smile appeared again. "I'm going to ask him to marry me on Christmas Eve. I even bought him a ring and everything"
"So I'm too late, aren't I?" Mercedes asked, her voice shaking with disappointment.
"It would have never worked anyway" Sam tried to reason with her, hurting him to see that sadness in someone he had once loved.
"I don't think I'm going to stay in New York after all" she added with a sad smile. "It would hurt too much"
"I'm sorry, Mercedes" Sam lamented, finally breaking the barrier between them to hug her in a comforting way. "I know it's not what you wanted from me, but if you ever need a friend…"
"I'll keep that in mind" she answered with a chuckle as she surrendered in the familiarity of Sam's arms for a second –even if she knew she didn't belong there anymore. "I'm glad you found what you were looking for"
"I hope you do too" Sam honestly answered with a smile once the embrace broke. "And now I should get going, Blaine must be getting worried and…"
"Go" she said with a gentle push to the blond. "Don't keep him waiting"
Sam gave him a last smile and squeezed her hand for a second before jumping off from his seat and moving to the door without even looking back again, his phone already to his ear in what she supposed was a call to his boyfriend to reunite with him again.
She didn't know what she had been thinking when she had decided to fly to New York to give their relationship a chance. Had she really been expecting for him to be waiting for her after two years? Especially considering she had never loved him the right way? She should have expected it. She had taken Sam for granted and… and he had finally understood.
What she would have never imagined, of course, was that he would be in a relationship with another guy. With Blaine. With his best friend. Sam said they had been together for a year, but… how long had they been in love before that? She knew Sam and she knew he had never been unfaithful to her while they were together, but thinking back to those days in which the three of them shared a house... she should have known. Or at least have some suspicions. All those times she found them asleep on the couch at morning, all over each other, because they had fallen asleep in the late hours after hours and hours of just talking; the way Sam forgot about everything whenever Blaine came home upset after a fight with Kurt and didn't move from his side until he was sure he was feeling better; how Blaine would never go to bed himself before making sure Sam had managed to fall asleep to his fanfiction reading. All those embraces, touches, kisses in the cheek, even holding hands every now and then... Mercedes had always thought it was because Blaine was gay, and therefore more used and comfortable to those kind of gestures of affection, and Sam was so naturally affectionate that she had never thought twice about it. But now she could see it was probably because they were already in love back then. And maybe they didn't even know it themselves yet, as they both were in other relationships at that moment, but it was perfectly clear to her now.
She turned to look through the window and there was still Sam, just outside the door, as if waiting for something. And it was only a minute later than Blaine appeared with a serious but understanding expression. The poor guy must have been waiting in the cold all that time considering how quick he had arrived after Sam summoned him, but had moved some distance away so as not to pray on his boyfriend. Apparently he trusted and respected him like that.
"Are you alright?" Mercedes could clearly read the question in Blaine's lips, obviously worried about what seeing someone he had once loved so much could do to Sam.
She couldn't understand Sam's answer, but the reassuring smile and the embrace he enveloped Blaine in was enough for her to understand how he didn't have the tiniest doubt about who was the owner of his heart now. And the strength which with Blaine embraced him back didn't leave much to the imagination of how relieved he was that Sam was still his.
In all those years since she had known him, Mercedes had never given much thought about Blaine. To her, he had always being Kurt's accessory boyfriend, and then Sam's geeky bestie. But maybe she should have give him some credit for himself, as an individual. Sam surely did.
When the embrace broke, she saw Sam saying something while gently grabbing Blaine's chin and looking intently at him with an impossible tender expression as Blaine pretended to pout in sadness, even if he was making sure to put the scarf that was hanging loose from Sam's shoulders more tightly around his neck so he wouldn't go cold. Sam laughed when Blaine shook his head in negation, and tried again, as he seemed to be trying to get him to smile –and that was probably his way of acknowledging that he understood that Blaine had been worried when Mercedes appeared, but reassuring him that nothing had changed–. When Blaine refused again, Sam just pinched Blaine's cheeks himself until it looked as if he was weirdly smiling, and then both of them burst into laughter like idiots, until Sam embraced Blaine again and kissed the side of his face, obviously grateful to have him always on his side.
Mercedes sighed at the obvious chemistry and affection between them. How Blaine only needed to shiver for a second for Sam to see he was cold and rush to rub his arms vigorously to warm him up, before producing a woolen hat from his pocket and planting it on Blaine's head, even taking his time to play with the curls escaping from under it; how Blaine cupped Sam's cheek to keep him in place and search into his eyes that he was really ok and not upset at all by their unexpected encounter and then kissed the back of the blond's hand when he was reassured that everything was fine; how they stopped a cab and Sam held the door open for Blaine to hop in and how Blaine gave him the most loving smile in gratitude before going in. Every one of their little actions spoke volumes of how much they loved each other. Of how she had never loved Sam. Of how she now would never had the chance to.
With another sigh, discreetly drying some tears from her eyes, she picked up her coat and took her phone out to check when the next flight to Ohio would be. She didn't know what she was going to do with her life right now, but she surely didn't want to be there to see whom she still considered the love of her life asking someone else in marriage. There was a flight in two hours, she saw with relief, so she quickly booked a ticket as she moved outside to jump into a cab that would take her to the airport and away from that damned city forever. But before she put the phone away back in her pocket, she searched on his contacts lists for Blaine's name, hoping she still had it. And when she found it, she thought very throughfully what she wanted to say, if she wanted to reproach him from taking Sam away from him, or congratulate him for his victory. In the end, all she could manage to write was Take care of him.
And she was about to turn her phone off for the flight when she realized Blaine had answered.
I promise.
A/N: So if anyone wants to throw any more prompts you've always wanted to read, let me know. I can't promise you anything, but you never know ;)