It's not that Toshiro Hitsugaya isn't a professional, he is. He really, really is, but he can't look at Aizen Sousuke. Like, it's not a purposeful offense, it's literally only because –
OW.
F – Oh shit. He can act professional. Right? Just not imagine him going down like whoa, he tries to smile, but he's sure it looks like a fucking cat is scratching his nuts and he's trying not to scream out in pain and isn't that a little bit descriptive well whatever he looks normal right?
"Are you okay Hitsugaya-san?" Shitshitshitfuckfucknothatreally – he forces that explosion of thoughts behind walls, and manages a less cat is scratching his nuts and he's trying not to scream out in pain at Sousuke-san. Damn he's built.
"Yes, apologies for banging into you." Toshiro says formally, and fuck what that voice chuckling does to him, like, damn, and Sousuke smiles, reaching almost to pat Toshiro's head which he bristles at, and he makes this sort of apologetic sheepish sound that does worse things to him like wow, that just –
He shunpos the fuck out of there and prays that Sousuke never asks about this.
Of course it never happens that way and the deities are definitely laughing at him. He's visited by another dream, and wow, that is, so very distracting and awful. He hates life, and his shortness and the way his voice affects him like no, wasn't he meant to be like, possibly, straight? (No he isn't and while he accepts it and all that, why does he have to start having fantasies, like, hello, he skipped that part of puberty, well, most of it anyway and why does it matter and he's really bad at hiding the bump ohgod.)
The very next day Matsumoto (curse her to hell) singsongs that he has a visitor. Rangiku coos and comes in with tea, taking away a stack of documents. His visitor is none other than Aizen Sousuke.
"Thankyou." he thanks her politely, his smile showing more teeth than absolutely necessary, and she giggles, giggles at his murderous expression, and disappears gaily out the door after pouring them both tea.
He returns his attention to Aizen, who looks gentle and kind and yeah, maybe that's true, but can he go at it in inu-style – he coughs, taking a sip of tea to mask his blush. He can't work under these conditions. He really, really can't.
He lies through his teeth, and says that he's really very unwell lately and he's been working hard, and Captaincy is hard, sorry for ignoring you during meetings, I'm sorry, I've been working late and the lies tumble through, though he can tell Sousuke buys absolutely zero of these fucking lies, he's a decent shinigami and won't pry, won't dissemble him and turn him into a whimpering mess and he'll swallow the lies because he's always been a great person.
He hopes. Like, he's praying and pretending and acting and while he's decent enough to fool his bunch, he can't really lie to other captains but maybe, maybe Sousuke won't try and pry.
His prayers are answered, and while Sousuke still looks like his questions aren't totally finished, he uses every trick in the book to get Sousuke out of his office, and it works.
He still can't ever look at Sousuke Aizen.
(the only respite he has is when aizen is dead but oh wow the dreams have come back)
i wrote this under ten minutes and i'm not sorry. okay so, i'm like, sort of really weirded out that aizen got to be the person that toshiro dreamt about, like, yeah there's tons of hints that are scattered about and toshiro is a fucking kid, and also they, like, in terms of growth, they grow really slowly and has anyone seen toshiro in these recent chapters like hOLY DAMN.