It may be hard for you to imagine but I once had a relatively normal life, bills to pay, playdates, family, some friends people to care about. Lost all that. In Mexico there are these fish that have colonized the fresh water caves along Sierra del Abra. They were lost. They found themselves living in complete darkness. But they didn't die. Instead, they thrived. They adapted. They lost their pigmentation, their sight, eventually even their eyes. With survival they became… hideous. I've rarely thought about what I once… was. But I wonder… if a ray of light were to make it into the cave, would I be able to see it? Or feel it? Would I… gravitate to its warmth? And if I did, would I become… less hideous? - Raymond Reddington, The Black List

SHIELD Hellicarrier…

Coulson slowly woke up feeling dazed and confused he saw the dead bodies of Mack and Hunter in front of him. He felt cold at first and his feet felt wet even stranger he felt something sharp digging into his skin around his body it was Christmas lights and his feet were in a bucket of water. He turned to see a man in purple suit dancing around the controls humming jingle bells.

His heart sank and he filled with panic remembering what happened "What have you done?"

Purple Suit jumped up his face expressing shock, disbelief and even offense "Me? I think Coulson that question should be referred to you." Purple Suit skipped over happily.

"What are you talking about I didn't do this! I never wanted this to happen."

"Oh really? I mean really that's the excuse you're going with?" Purple Suit chuckled "Do you remember when we started this all bright eyed and naive world was our oyster! That's the right term right? Oyster I mean. Any who! You could have stopped this years ago you yes you Coulsy! Just kept pushing your luck. You were obsessed with getting SHIELD back on top some might even say you were psycho obsessed. Ever thought about therapy I know a great place down below and you would be amazed how good electro shock feels."

"What happened to you?" Coulson asked frightened and disgusted.

Purple Suit burst out laughing "What it's not obvious? You happened you and you're SHIELD! I mean He Who Shall Not Be Named dropped me into the ocean but you! Yes you! Sent me into the lion's den with only little sweet Simmons tell me did you really expect us to come back alive or was it a happy accident that Furry found us?"

"I- never wanted that to happen to you how could you-"

"Errrrr- wrong answer!" Purple Suit took out a switch blade and stabbed Coulson in his right knee "I'm a big boy Coulson you can tell me the truth but if you don't I'll be cross understand? Now did you expect me and Simmons to make it out alive?"

Coulson didn't say anything clearly ashamed to answer "I knew there were risks yes. I also knew it would likely not end well but you can't tell me you didn't realize it either."

"Thank you Coulson for your honesty." Purple Suit dug into his pocket "As a reward you get a smarty! You know maybe that whole Bobbi, Ward and Kara fiasco wouldn't have happened if Ward was generous like me."

"Well he's dead now so I guess we'll never know."

"Wait what? Oh! You don't know!" Purple suit burst into laughter "Ah Coulsy you always were slow but this is just… I mean wow… do you even watch the local news or read the paper when you're in a city? You know what! This is perfect because the best part of me knowing is-" Purple Suit rushed Coulson his tone becoming violent and threatening "not telling!"

All of a sudden the alarms went crazy and blaring, Purple Suit went to the screen monitor. He rolled his eyes annoyed "That damn rat with wings! Why can't he stay dead?"

Five Years Earlier…

Grant Ward dreamt he was standing in an alley way. He didn't know why but he felt an overwhelming sense of dread. He didn't understand it he'd never seen this place before but somehow he felt like he needed to leave.

Never had he felt this, this fear it was paralyzing and yet familiar it was insane his mind was telling him to run but his body was too afraid to move. He was just fixed there in the alley when two people walked past him. One was a man dressed in a fancy suit and scarf the other was a woman in a red dress with a pearl necklace and earrings.

"Come on Son. It's time to go home." The man said extending his hand.

Then the woman reached out with her hand "It's time to go home sweaty."

At first Ward felt strange like he was safe with them he never felt that way before. Soon a boy appeared he was hold their hands. They were turning to an, exist and Ward's heart began to race "No stop!"

Ward ran after them knowing something awful was about to happen he didn't know what or how he just knew it was something. When he turned the corner he saw the couple with the boy only now there was a man in front of them holding a gun "Take whatever you want!" The Man said to the Gunman.

"Please you don't have to do this!" The woman screamed.

The gunman remained silent then fired the gun the first shot piercing the man's chest the woman screamed and started crying. Then the gunman aimed for the woman as she shielded the boy then he fired the gun. Everything went silent after that Ward had seen similar scenes like this but never had it affected so deeply he felt a mix of emotions. He felt anger, sadness and despair and a sense of familiarity.

How was that even possible? He could swear up and down he'd never even once been in this alley yet felt like he'd been here before and that he never wanted to be here again. He blinked and suddenly he was in a suit on his knees between the man and the woman. Nothing made sense.

Ward screamed at the top of his lungs and bats descended from the sky flying in all directions at first until they started circling him. Eventually he was surrounded by so many bats he could see nothing but darkness. He was consumed by the spiral of bats until nothing but darkness remained and then he woke up.

Ward woke up surrounded by snow he'd faked his death to get SHIELD off his back a few months earlier. Ever since he'd been wandering the world trying to find a good place to hide or start over maybe both. That's why he'd come to this place he had heard there was a place in this frozen hell of a mountain where even monsters could find some sort of purpose or peace.

Strange after all he'd done to start thinking about such things. It all started with his nightmares. They started a little before he faked his death and they all varied sometimes he was lost in a cave. Sometimes he was just mourning at tombstone with names he couldn't make out. Other times it was the alley and the couple and that kid.

There was however one constant bats. In each dream there were always bats. He hated the things for as long as he could remember. He never knew why though, he didn't remember much of his childhood mostly because nothing was worth remembering.

After a few more hours of wandering in the blind snow he fell to his knees in despair what was he hoping to find chasing rumors and ghost stories? Redemption was impossible even if he did attempt to change SHIELD would come after him again and again not for justice or for some great need to do good, but to settle a vindictive grudge. They would just never admit it like him he spent so long hiding his need for revenge behind the word closure and what did it get him?

"I wonder will you all die alone in the snow to? Is that what's going to happen if you guys keep up your lie?" Ward muttered to himself it was so stupid the way they acted like they were better than him. How many people died as collateral damage when they were a team? How many security guards did May put down? How many poor saps who simply had the misfortune of doing their jobs had died and would continue to die because of SHIELD constantly imposing their own justice. They weren't even sanctioned by the world governments anymore just a bunch of vigilantes running trying to round up the enhanced and for what? To recruit or keep prisoner in case they weren't manageable how was that good? How was that by any definition?

Maybe it wasn't clear to them but to him it was there were no heroes or villains just people and truth about people was they screw up. People weren't good or evil they were just human and it sucked that it took being lost in a blizzard for that to finally get drilled into his head.

Ward became dizzy he struggled to stand and he fell to the ground. "Well it's not like I want to die but hey at least it was on my own terms." He let out a weak chuckle while turning on his back "Looks like I not only pulled one over on you Coulson but I got myself killed before you could even do it for real."

Ward started to drift and as his eyes closed he saw a man in the blizzard approach him it was at first glance hard to make out who was approaching him. He thought he saw the man from his dream the man held out his hand and said "It's time to go home Bruce."

When the vision cleared Ward saw a Buddhist Monk in its place he was panicking and screaming for help "Sir, can you hear me?" He yelled "Sir! What is your name?"

Ward was delirious he didn't know what was happening and then on sheer impulse he said "Bruce, Bruce Wayne."