She always came to my house. She treats it like her own. Whenever she's not in her psychiatric help booth, or practicing baseball or annoys her brothers, she annoys me. She would rang the bell, asks me questions I really don't want to answer while leaning on my toy piano.
I never got used to her. My mom said I should ignore her, because I know what I want for my future and she's one of the worst obstacles to reach it. And she also said that I must not lose my temper on her because no matter what she do, there's never enough reason to hit a girl, (even when she insults Beethoven).
The summer after 6th grade my parents got divorced and I'm forced to see things differently. I mean, before that summer, I never thought about the day after tomorrow that does not revolve around me and my piano. Now I have to think about my mum's well-being, what not to talk about around her, and re-prioritize my life around other matters.
In the middle of those processing period, I just realized that I haven't seen Lucy in my home for more than 3 years. I've seen her around, in our baseball practice, at school, but she has not behave in that certain way for a pretty long time.
When junior high begins, I looked around for her and she did not give me more than a quick glance. I must say the sudden realization occupies my mind a lot more than I would want. I can't even remember what happened the last time she came to my house, did I say something truly mean? Or did something else happened preventing her from seeing me like that? I don't really mind at first. I mean I'm not so indifferent that I didn't realize how I kicked her from my piano all the time. I just didn't see anything significant enough to justify her sudden leave.
I've watched her through 7th grade to figure it out and found her acting very differently towards her brothers, and especially Charlie Brown. She's less mean, she took care of her brothers and tries to bite her tongue whenever Charlie Brown doing something wishy washy or whenever the boys are just being stupid, out of patience. While I must say we are getting stupider.
Maybe it just meant that she grew up, along with everyone else.
Let's see, I think I last saw her in early 3rd grade. It was not long after a tragedy revolved around Linus's blanket. Somehow it ended up with him screaming at the top of Snoopy's house, criticizing people, including his sister. For obsessing over someone who doesn't even care if he ever sees her again. Everyone looked at me, including Lucy and the whole thing felt so ugly. It was also not long before my home started to box angry screaming, broken plates and door slamming. Soon, Lucy's visiting hours become shorter and shorter before she went home for good.
I saw her on the bus this morning, a week after Halloween for our 11th grade, and hold myself not to smile. She became so pretty, with longer jet black hair and kinder - but nonetheless determined, heart shaped face. She sat next to her best friend, Violet while Linus sat next to me. I sigh. I didn't remember when Linus speeds up with his puberty, he's the tallest guy in 11thgrade though the youngest for skipping some grades. Sometimes I still see him carrying a small piece of sky blue fabric in the size of regular handkerchief.
I saw Sally hop in the bus and sat in an empty seat. Just as I wonder where her brother was, I heard Charlie Brown shouting.
''Stop! Stop for a second!''
The bus hasn't move forward, it was only starting the engine. We've got so accustomed by his insecurities. Charlie Brown hopped in the bus, looking super relieve when nothing was really wrong before. Linus smiled a little.
Charlie Brown sat next to Sally, his sister. They always looked distinctive from each other. Sally had long, soft blonde hair framing her small face and petite silhouette. While Charlie Brown grew tall, skinny and very short dirtier blonde hair. Sally sighed, she's his baby sister and nothing will change. It has always been so cute for me looking at them taking care of each other, but probably having a sibling does not sound as fun as I saw it as an only child. Especially if you're a newly popular cheerleader with Charlie Brown as a protective big brother.
It's Monday and I got math class first. I smiled a little. That's one of the few class I got with Lucy.
I didn't realize it immediately, but I came to think about her a lot in her absence. I think I came to be obsessed with her. While she tries to ignore me. No, I didn't came to her house everyday to ask about our marriage. But I always try to see her. Like choosing to go home through the long route passing by her practice, asking school stuff or just asking about her through Linus.
Meanwhile my piano and I are doing fine as well. I'm practicing harder in the past few years, and got to perform here and there nationally. Last spring I was summoned to New York to play in a charity along with other kids in a mini orchestra, and some people there suggest me to apply to Julliard. Hence it's been my focus for now to give my best for competitive purpose.
*
Things kinda change that fall, a few days before Halloween, about a week before today, I met Lucy again.
This fall, most of us turned 17, including me and Lucy. Before Halloween, I went to the city to see some orchestra on my own. It has been a weekly habit ever since mum let me go to the city alone, sometimes I just went to an orchestra, or amateur recital or even a jazz cafè to see other people sharing the same amount of passion I have towards music, each in our own ways.
The upcoming orchestra starts noon so i could go home before dark. I like to walk down the street when the sun sets. Just when my train home arrives, I saw Lucy already standing there from the previous station.
She saw me, and smiled. She gave me the classmate smile, and I didn't smile back. I never get to talk to her about anything than necessary and this is the first time in years since it's just the two of us. I took one of the handlers a few inches from her, even though the train was awfully empty from our side. The few people here gathered near the heater.
I decided to just ask her, aware that it was out of the blue. Neither of us are kids anymore, we should be more articulate about everything.
"Why did you stop everything that you did to me back then? Why did you decided to kick me out of your life?"
She didn't look surprised, she paused for a few seconds and answered like she has been preparing for it her whole live.