Warnings: Some swearing… It's Dan, what are you expecting?
A/N: This is a little phanfic I wrote when I was applying an English test and my students were all focused in getting a good grade. Meanwhile I was literally sat in front of my classroom writing fanfiction about two youtubers who ruined my life and they had no clue their teacher was that insane. YAY SUCH PHAN! That one is a bit cliché and short, maybe not my best, but I decided to post it anyway, hope you enjoy! :D
"Don't you ever just… get annoyed by the phan shippers?"
Shit, shit, I shouldn't have blurted that out, fuck! Dan thought, heartbeat thundering on his ears. He gazer sideways, anxiously waiting for his friend's response. Okay, be cool, he won't notice how important this is, just get a grip, Dan, you can do it! He reassured himself inside his own head, noticing that his leg was shaking as if it had a life of its own and making a mental effort to stop it now. He took a deep breath, telling himself that the answer didn't matter, it didn't mean anything, and stared inside the beautiful seas of blue and green that were Phil's eyes, trying to read the answer before it left his lips.
"I dunno… It is a bit weird, sure." He stopped, debating if he should carry on, but seemed to decide that Dan could handle it, chuckling "I think it's endearing, though! Imagine looking through all our videos and finding these tiny clues, it seems like a fun game, I guess."
"But, Phil… There are no clues to find!" Right? Right? He mused, desperately analyzing the averted eyes of his best friend. "It's so creepy that they just keep FINDING this stuff…" His voice is going high showing his stress clearly to his best friend.
"Dan! Don't be so negative! We are in fact pretty adorable!" He joked, finally making eye contact. The look in his eyes, as though he considered it a lot, made Dan question again how his friend was making him feel right now.
"Are we? Jesus, Phil! You can't just join in on the phandom's craziness!" He exclaimed, fake moaning, shoving the other boy playfully and laughing too loudly, sounding exaggerated to his own ears.
They ended up chuckling amiably until a heavy uncomfortable silence fell over them, and they refused to look at each other. Dan took a deep breath, eyes downcast, trying to keep his thundering heart at bay.
"Is there something to find?" He let slip out, the thoughts whirling through his mind too fast.
"What?!" Phil asked, confused.
"You know what I mean!" He spat back, playing with the sleeves of his sweater over his hands, anxiously.
"What exactly are you asking, Dan?"
"Is there something really happening between us?" He asked, half afraid of where this conversation was headed and how he would fix the broken pieces of his wildly beating heart if Phil just shrugged it all off.
"Do you want there to be something?" Phil tried to catch his eyes, but Dan refused to raise his eyes from the ground, too afraid.
"Well… Sometimes I do wonder. You are my best friend, Phil. I really don't want to fuck this up" He paused, breathing too fast "I don't know, okay? I'm such an idiot and then look at you, Amazing Phil, why would you ever want someone like me?" His voice was rising in volume as he got more worked up with his own thought process. He put his hands over his face, making an angry sound "Now I ruined everything, didn't I? Oh, God, forget I ever said anything, I'm such…"
"DAN, stop!" Phil interrupted, taking his hands away from his face and holding on to them "Take a deep breath, you're okay. Come on, you can do it!" Dan did so, still not able to face him properly "Dan, would you please look at me?" He insisted, and the boy could hear the smile on his voice.
"No" He groaned, feeling his heart hammering madly in his chest.
"Dan, don't be like that" Phil started, giving up on coaxing Dan to meet his eyes "You are great in every possible way. You have been my best friend for years and I wouldn't trade it for the world" He grabbed his friend's chin, bringing his head up so their eyes would meet "You are just as amazing." He paused, preparing himself to this moment. This is it. "And I do have a little crush on you, who doesn't? I'll admit to that" He said, smiling, staring deeply into his brown eyes to show that he meant it, despite the heat rising to his own cheeks at the confession.
Before either of them knew what was happening, Dan moved towards him, lips crashing hungrily with Phil's. All they denied themselves to feel came rising to the surface, swallowing them whole, with each beat of their hearts now joining in one swift rhythm. Dan's hands grabbed Phil's hair enthusiastically, deepening the kiss. Phil's arms encircled Dan's back, savoring the moment. Their heartbeats in synch, the world consisted of only the two of them and that lulling cadence that was so new and so old all the same. No words were exchanged but they knew that I had finally became us.