I remember every word you tried so hard to say
I remember when your smile began to fade
He should have mentioned they were round trip tickets. He should have given her the specifics, but when had Tom Quincy ever been that in-depth when it came to anything besides music. Maybe had he explained it all, rather than go about the winning over of the woman he loved in such a grandiose way she could have understood better. He had probably scared her into not following him. Moving to Asia - that's probably what she thought he meant. She didn't want to live in Asia, he didn't even want to live there - he should have been more specific. At least that was what he thought as he sat in the airport of a foreign land.
The background track to his wait consisted of foreign tongues he had grown accustomed to over the past month. Jude Harrison hadn't chased after him. Where she was, he had no idea. Kwest had attempted to talk about her the first time he checked in back home, but Tommy made sure he understood she was the fastest way to make him cut contact with everyone back in Toronto - not that there really was anyone.
And every kiss you gave could never hide your pain
I never thought that I'd become what I became
But I'm on my way back home
I'm on my way back home
On one hand he could count the amount of times Jude had chased after him. Yet every time he tried to come up with a numerical value for running after her there were too many times to count. Had it always been so one sided in their relationship? He really didn't know anymore. His romantic declaration of passionate love and happily ever after had been met with little to no response, the more he replayed the scene over and over in his mind. It hurt to reexamine every touch, look, action and word they had shared over the years. It made him doubt everything he had based his new life on, shaking him to the core.
Despite it all, however, he had come to one conclusion - there was no way he had created a one sided romance. He was too fucked up when it came down to commitment and therefore if after all the bullshit there had to have been truth to what he thought she felt. Why would they have struggled so long, if it meant nothing? It wasn't possible. So here he was sitting in a plastic chair at terminal seven, destination home.
I'm breaking with everything you've been taking
I just thought you'd be on my side, well pay no mind
Cause if it's raining, a stormy weather a changing
To something better it'll be alright
Either way I'm on my way back home
As he walked towards baggage claim, he thought he'd never been quite as happy to see the Toronto Airport. All the trips he'd taken and none had ever compared to the feeling of home he felt as he saw the welcome signs on this day. Wishing he had someone waiting for him, he wandered outside in search of a cab. The familiar landmarks of the city comforted him as he
thought of all the memories they had been a backdrop for; he was home.
By the time his driver reached the apartment complex he lived at, Tommy was completely confused. Throwing a few extra bills on the seat for a tip, his mind was racing with one basic question - what now? All the contemplating he had been doing had focused on the past, something he could never quite break himself of doing - dwelling. Living in the past kept him from expecting a future and ignoring the present, something Jude had told him many times. And it was in that moment that he realized the present was the beginning of the future and for him she was his future.
The metal doors of the elevator closed behind him as he reached for his keys. At his door, in his building, he turned his key. Inside was his same old couch, his slightly abused side table that he threw his keys on and his girl.
Do you remember holding back, frozen like a stone
Do you remember when we tried to let it go
Its all the same the ones to blame for broken hearts
His keys crashed to the floor as he overthrew them past the end table, but that was the only sound made. Eyes wide in amazement he took in her appearance. Her soft blonde hair framed her face as usual, only now it was much shorter, brushing against her jaw line and the back of her neck. Her eyes held a look of surprise, almost as if he was the one appearing randomly in her home. Jude pulled her knees to her chest, effectively ending any chance of her bounding into his arms like she has done so many times in his daydreams.
"I guess you made it back safe," she stated as if there was nothing else she could have said at that time. His quick response was, "I see you made yourself at home." Nodding her head gently a wry smirk appeared on her lips, "Well you see I'm entitled to make myself at home. I suppose its kinda like how you think you can just skip outta the country without so much as a goodbye or a postcard." Taking in her tone of voice, Tommy knew even though he had asked her to come with, he had paid for her ticket and he had been the one who while boarding one damn plane felt his heart break, she would be blaming him for the broken heart she was nursing.
"Obviously you've been getting information from someone considering the fact that you're sitting in my apartment upon my arrival. That is unless I've been evicted and for some odd reason you decided to live here now." "Oh yeah Quincy I just couldn't stand living without you so I had to live with your belongings." Despite previous hostility the atmosphere of the room changed to a playful one, one that he only got when he was at home. "You wouldn't be the first girl to need a piece of me to survive, I think eBay has an entire section for my swag." "Actually they aren't allowed to sell anything you've touched something about being disease ridden and lawsuits, I can't remember specifics."
And everything will end so something new can start
But I'm on my way back home
I'm on my way back home
Tommy watched as her body relaxed, the tension leaving her shoulders, the soft smile that began to play at her lips, it all meant one thing - approach her now before you screw it up. Casually taking a seat next to her on the couch he noticed she adjust her body to face him while also moving further away. "I refuse to let your insults ruin my homecoming," he quipped like a child while stretching out his arms and getting comfortable. "Attempting to appreciate the grounded life before taking off again?" The edge to her voice made him want to cringe but it was vulnerability that made him grab her hand as he turned towards her, "I'm not going anywhere, anytime soon."
I'm breaking with everything you've been taking
I just thought you'd be on my side, well pay no mind
Cause if it's raining, a stormy weather a changing
To something better it'll be alright
Cause either way I'm on my way back home
"You say that a lot, yet disappearing for a month or more at a time is no big thing for you. It happens quite often actually, so excuse me for not being so sure about your reliability," was her scathing reply that was punctuated by her ripping her hand from his. Rather than accept the statement for its truth, he used it as a segue way into their favorite pastime, fighting. "What did you expect me to do Jude? You were the one who didn't say anything back when I said those words, that I don't say. You were the one who left the seat next to mine empty. You were the one I wanted to leave and come back home with."
With an eye roll she started in, "Please do not even try to put this on me. You've left your fair share of seats empty too, entirely too many might I add. I can't just get frustrated with life and decide I'm not dealing with it. You confess your love to me and tell me to run away with you to Asia. Asia, Tommy! Not the cabin for the weekend or the farm or even your goddamn apartment - you wanted me to take off to the other side of the world!"
"Yeah I asked you to come to Asia, on a roundtrip ticket," he knew he should have mentioned the round trip part, "And I'm sorry but why would I ask you out on some stupid first date, when I'm making the big gesture!" "Because I don't need some big gesture, I just need you. I want that first date cause earth to Tommy we haven't even been able to do that. I want to watch movies on your couch. I wanna lay in bed and work on lyrics while you do paperwork. I want the normal, stable, everyday forever stuff. Why can't you grasp that I don't want the bullshit. Just you and me together is enough."
There's something about you
Yeah there's something about you
It brings rain to my heart
Rain to my heart
Rain
"Fine!" Looking at him slightly incredulously, due to the shock of him screaming Jude questioned him, "Fine, what!" "Fine, I want to do the whole bed, paper, I love you everyday thing." "Well good cause that's what I want." Shrugging his shoulders he said, "I'm glad." An
awkward moment of silence descended on the pair as they realized the ramifications of what had just been said. The couple looked slightly meek as they turned towards each other.
He watched as Jude dropped the arms around her knees and began to move towards him. Her arms enveloped his upper body as his found their place around her waist. She whispered, "I missed you," in his ear. "You've got no idea girl," he quipped before kissing her. Kissing her felt like home and it dawned on him that she was the reason why this city was his home. Wherever she is, is home and he liked being home.
I'm on my way
I'm on my way back home
Breaking with everything you've been taking
I just thought you'd be on my side, well pay no mind
Cause if it's raining, with stormy weather a changing
To something better it'll be alright
Cause either way I'm on my way back home
Jude settled into Tommy's arms as they curled up together on the couch. His head was leaning on hers as she asked, "So how was Asia?" Placing a kiss on the top of her head he replied, "Nothing compared to being home."
I'm on my way back home
I'm on my way back home
On My Way – Andrew Ripp