Blasts from the Past

Written by WayneSteed

Chapter I:

It was a hot and humid day in July of 20XX. The sun was shining, children were laughing and playing in the park, and Sigma, the evil overlord of the Maverick Empire who was currently in his rather run-down fortress overlooking the city, was truly stumped.

"I'm truly stumped," he said. "I create all the these powerful Reploids to do my bidding, inject them with the Maverick Virus, and have them try to kill X time and time again, but does it ever work out? NO! They always fall victim to that blasted blue bot!"

Ooh, nice alliteration there, Sigma.

"Thank you, Narrator Voice," said Sigma.

His purple, Boba Fett-like counterpart, Vile, who had been ignoring his commander and listening to his qPod, suddenly paused his music and stared questioningly at Sigma. "Wait, who are you talking to?"

"The Narrator Voice," said Sigma. "You know, the mysterious ghostly voice that comments on what's happening in the fanfic."

"Oh, okay," said Vile, who immediately resumed his music.

"Is it because there's some kind of flaw in the programming?" Sigma ranted. "Am I just... not good enough?? I wish there was some way to defeat X once and for all...

Suddenly, a light bulb went on above Sigma's head.

"Lord Sigma, I think you ought to know that there's a light bulb above your head," Vile cautioned his liege. Sigma was too busy to care, however, and ignored Vile. With a twinkle in his eye, he said:

"I've got it! The perfect plan... I'll summon the Robot Masters from Mega Man II to eliminate Mega Man X once and for all! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"Robot Masters -- Mega Man II -- wait, what on earth are you speaking about, Lord Sigma?"

"Someday, Vile, you'll truly understand... Now, why on Earth do I have a light bulb above my head?!" Sigma clenched the bulb in his icy grip until it shattered into a few hundred shards of glass.

"I guess you're just a victim of circumstance, sir," Vile sighed, rolling his eyes.

"There! All finished!" Sigma stepped back to admire his handiwork. It was a large grey metal machine rather resembling a large grey metal toilet stall from the outside. However, the inside contained a metal pad and a control panel. The machine (or, as Sigma called it, the Teleportatron) could be set to bring absolutely anyone in the world, from any time or place, to the Maverick Fortress.

Sigma cackled giddily. "Sometimes I amaze myself with my genius. Now then, on to carry out the operation..."

"Uh, sir..." Vile was thoroughly confused. "What the heck does this thing even DO?" he wondered aloud.

"Why, it's a Teleportatron, Vile! It does what ALL Teleportatrons are supposed to do!" Sigma explained impatiently.

"And... what is that, sir?" Vile implored hastily.

"It teleports beings from other times and places to our own, you numbskull!"

"Okay... I think I get it now. It's just that there are no other Teleportatrons in the world. This is the first."

"Ah, but there will be more in the future, Vile... Now, then, on with the operation!"

He began to key in long streams of data concerning the nature of his future passengers. Vile, in the meanwhile, just stood there and stared blankly at the ceiling, wondering why he ever agreed to be the master general of the Maverick Empire.

"At last... I am ready to make history!!" Sigma laughed with a diabolical sort of glee. "Vile, step back and watch genius happen!"

Vile stepped back half-heartedly.

"Farther than THAT!" Sigma said disapprovingly. "The reader needs to feel like you're afraid of the machine! Come on, now!"

Vile walked back to the wall and leaned against it. "Is this good?"

"Farther!!"

"But I can't go any farther!"

"Ah-ha," said Sigma, "I can see that. Well, that'll be alright, then. Not nearly convincing enough, but it'll have to do..."

He pressed a large green button labled "GO". With a loud hum, the Teleportatron began to whirr and flash; red and blue lights began to blink on and off. A bead of sweat began to roll down Sigma's forehead. The hums, whirrs and lights grew louder and brighter. The machine began to crackle with electricity. The dramatic music reached a crescendo. The dramatic music stopped as Vile shot the nearby stereo and destroyed it. At that precise moment, the machine stopped humming, whirring, and flashing. Smoke began to cloud the room.

There was silence, save the crackling of the destroyed stereo.

Suddenly, the smoke began to clear, and eight figures stepped out of the concealing cloud. The first was a red-suited robot with a yellow boomerang affixed to his helmet. The second resembled a large, reddish-orange log. The third was red, with yellow boots and shoulder pads; a gear was attached to his helmet. The fourth seemed to be wearing a greenish-white diving suit, and an oxygen mask covered his face. The fifth appeared to be a dark-gold box with red limbs; he was forming a miniature flame with his hands, watching it with a sort of morbid fascination and giggling. The sixth wore a blue outfit with yellow boots and gloves, and had a whirlwind tattooed to his left arm. The seventh was blue and white; he was continually glancing at the rather large watch on his left arm. The eighth and final Robot Master was red and white; he had twin drills affixed to his arms.

They glanced around in wonder at the laboratory, but all stood up straight and saluted with rapt attention when Sigma barked, "Robot Masters! Stand at attention!"

"Yes, sir, Dr. Wily, SIR!" the group chorused. Suddenly, as they viewed the actual source of the voice, they made gasps of confusion.

The Robot Master with the boomerang on his head spoke up. "Wait, you're not Dr. Wily! Who the heck are you?"

"I," Sigma said loudly, puffing up his chest with pride, "am Sigma, your lord and master!"

The eight robots saluted briskly and said, in unfaltering unison, "Yes, sir, Sigma, your lord and master, SIR!"

"I can see I'm going to have trouble with this group," Sigma whispered to Vile.

"Hmm," muttered Vile, who was preoccupied with a crack in a long, thick pipe leading up to the room's ceiling.

"Now, then, Robot Masters, I want you to step forward, one by one, and state your names and powers," Sigma commanded, turning back to the eight other robots before him.

"Erm..." the robot with the gear began.

"Hello? Yes, what is it?" Sigma inquired impatiently.

"I... er... only have one name."

"Well, OF COURSE YOU HAVE ONLY ONE NAME! STATE IT, BLAST IT!"

"Uh... okay. My name is Metal Man, and I throw gears."

"Now, all of you," Sigma instructed, with the barely contained patience of a teacher educating young children, "say what he said, in turn. Go."

The log-like robot stepped forward. "My name is Metal Man, and I th--"

"NO! YOUR OWN NAME AND POWER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Sigma roared furiously, the vein in his head bulging out even farther than before.

"My name is Wood Man, and I shoot poisonous leaves."

"Now," Sigma moaned, "all of you state your individual name and power. Come on, it doesn't have to take this long for you to introduce yourselves!"

The boomerang-head spoke up. "I am Quick Man; I use boomerangs and am super-fast."

The yellowish box said, "Heat Man; I'm a total pyro."

"I'm Flash Man. I stop time," said the robot with the watch.

"My name's Air Man. I harness wind," said the robot with the tornado tattoo.

"Crash Man's the name," said drill-hands. "I use high-powered explosives."

"Bubble Man," said the robot with the diving suit. "I shoot bubbles and can breathe underwater."

"There, now," Sigma sighed. "Now, I want you all to sit down, shut up, and listen to what I have to say."

"Yes, sir, Sigma, your lord and master, SIR!" the robots barked loudly as they sat down and went silent.

"Uh, sir," said Vile, who was leaning against the wall, "this here pipe has a crack in it. I think the crack's growing."

"Not now, Vile. I'm busy."

Sigma pressed a button on a nearby wall, and a large TV monitor on it crackled to life, showing nothing but static. Sigma reconsidered, then turned it off again. He pressed another button, and a silver podium came up out of the floor. He walked briskly to the podium and started to speak.

"Robot Masters," he began, "I have transported you to this time period on this day to deal with an omnipresent thorn in my side, better known as Mega Man X--"

"MEGA MAN! KILL!" screamed the eight Robot Masters. Without hesitation, they primed their weaponry and flailed it around wildly, looking for a Blue Bomber to shoot.

"Er... well, that is exactly the right attitude I want you to have," Sigma said slowly, "but, in the future, please do not ready your weapons when I mention his name. Also," he added hastily, "the phrase is 'X! KILL!' Remember that."

"Yes, sir, Sigma, your lord and master, SIR!" the Robot Masters chorused.

Sigma sighed. "Now, then, your assignment is to totally annihilate X. Can you do that without misinterpreting my orders for once?!"

"X! KILL!" the robots responded.

Sigma just sighed again. Their enthusiasm was confirmation enough, he thought. Oh, how he wished they'd just go away, all of them. He just wanted some alone time, or maybe to talk to anyone who would listen. In fact, he realized, he hadn't had a girlfriend in months. Was he so unattractive? He made a mental note to--

"NARRATOR VOICE!" Sigma roared. "Can you PLEASE keep out of my thoughts?!"

Sorry, sir, Sigma, your lord and master, SIR.

"And that's not funny either!" he added.

"Sir, I really think you should take a look at this crack. It's looking like the pipe's going to--" Vile began.

"Vile, it's rude to interrupt."

"But-- but-- look! This pipe leads directly to the--"

With a loud CRACK and SPLASH, the huge pipe exploded, and the room was immediately engulfed by a blast of water. Gasps of shock and surprise erupted.

"--water main," finished Vile.

The water kept gushing. Sigma was surprised, but kept his head. "Bubble Man! You're the one with the oxygen mask; go in and turn off the water!"

Bubble Man said nothing, but simply dived into the rising water and through the duct in the floor. Eventually, the water slowed to a trickle, then stopped. The Robot Masters tittered amongst themselves, but were generally calm, excepting Heat Man, who was running around in a circle and screaming. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IHATEWATERIHATEWATERIHATEWATERIHATEWATERIHA--"

"SHUT IT!" Sigma roared. "CRIPES, IT'S JUST WATER!"

Heat Man immediately stopped, saluted, and barked, "Yes, sir, Sigma, your lord and master, SIR!"

"Oh, whatever," Sigma moaned. "I don't even care anymore..."