There's been a lot of speculation on what's going to happen in the next episode of Rebels, especially on Tumblr. Kablob17 brought up the possibility that Ezra would be able to feel it if Kanan were to be tortured. I took that idea and ran with it. This might be the most angst filled thing I've ever written. Enjoy!
"He's been sitting there for ages," Sabine whispers. "Do you think we should do something?"
Zeb frowns, shoving Chopper back from the table so he can stand up. "This is some sorta Jedi thing, isn't it? Don't think there's anything we can do, 'cept get Kanan back."
"I hope Hera's done talking to that source of hers soon," Sabine says. "We're gonna need a new plan."
Ezra hardly hears them, wrapped up in the haze of his own mind. The Force is in turmoil around him, dark and full of warning. He feels sick to his stomach, and he doesn't think it's from nerves. Something is happening to him, and it's different from the vision he'd had about Trayvis. How many things can the Force do to him?
Kanan would know how to deal with what's happening. Kanan could help him. But Kanan is gone.
He's suddenly hit with another flash of something, a flash of pain pain pain and the sense of a tiredness so deep it's bone-weakening. It's gone within a few seconds, but it leaves him cringing against the wall where he's been slumped since the first time this happened.
Please be alive, Kanan, he thinks. I need you to tell me what's happening to me. I still need you to be my teacher.
Ezra would like to fool himself into thinking that he's that selfish, that he just wants Kanan back so he can be a great Jedi, and maybe a few months ago that would have been true. But he's not that kid anymore, and being a part of this rebel crew has changed him.
He genuinely cares about them now, and sometimes he doesn't know what to do with that fact.
"Did it happen again?" Sabine asks, and under normal circumstances, Ezra would be thrilled that she's speaking to him normally, without acting like he's a little kid. Right now, though, he feels too nauseous to care. He nods and her forehead creases with confusion.
"Weird," she says to herself, then glances at the door to the cockpit, as if willing it to open so that she can go speak to Hera. "Hurry up," she says under her breath, and at that moment, as if their pilot heard her, the door swishes open and Hera walks into the common room.
"Alright, listen up," she announces, and Ezra tries to focus his mind on the here and now, like Kanan's been teaching him. "My contact told me that they have a round of new prisoners in the Lothal Imperial Prison that they're planning to transport off-world on a prison transport tomorrow evening. Kanan will almost certainly be among them. This means that we'll have a very short window to rescue..."
Ezra is trying to pay attention, really. But whatever Hera is saying suddenly takes a backseat to another flash that snaps him back into a world of unendurable agony and strangely enough, harsh voices.
"Ezra!" someone is shouting and Ezra blinks back to reality to see Sabine staring him in the face again. His cheek is stinging and it takes him a second to realize that she's slapped him.
"You weren't responding," she says, a note of apology in her voice.
"Something's wrong with me," he says unsteadily. "And I don't know if it's the Force, or if it's in my head- but I keep getting flashes of things that aren't happening to me, kind of like my vision about Trayvis. But worse, because I can feel what's going on, too."
Hera bends down in front of him and studies him, her face full of concern. She hasn't lost that determined glint in her eye she's had ever since they had to leave Kanan behind. "This might be important, Ezra. What are you seeing?"
"It's not so much that I'm seeing things, it's just pain. And exhaustion. And shouting. The Force feels different, too." Ezra rubs his forehead. "Hera- am I going crazy?"
Hera stands up, a speculative look on her face. "I don't think so, Ezra. Kanan would know what this is for sure, but I'm no expert in the Force."
Ezra slumps against the wall, feeling extraordinarily miserable. He'd been so full of confidence earlier, ready to take on the entire Empire if that's what it would take to get Kanan back. But the continuous flashes of horror are getting to him and he kind of never wants to move from this floor.
"I'm going to need you alert if we're going to pull this off," Hera tells him. "Do you think you can handle it?"
Ezra shoves down the urge to hide in his room and struggles to his feet. He's not going to let Kanan down, not when things are this critical. "Yeah. I can do this."
"Good," Hera says. Her expression turns grave. "We're going to do whatever we can to get Kanan back, Ezra. But if things start to go wrong, like they did earlier, I can't promise that we'll be able to complete our mission. It's not worth getting the entire crew captured to save one man, understand?"
"That won't happen," Ezra says, trying to sound more confident then he feels. "When do we start?"
"Tomorrow," says Hera, addressing the room at large again. "It'll be easier to sabotage them when they bring the prisoners out to the transport than trying to break into the Imperial Prison."
"Do you think Kanan has that kind of time?" Sabine asks. She's flipping through holographic schematics, looking as uneasy as Ezra feels.
"They won't kill him yet." Hera's mouth is set in a grim line. "First they'll take him off-world and interrogate him for info, then they'll kill him. He's got some time."
Just as Hera says that, Ezra is slammed back into a world of pain. There's fire boiling in his blood, there's acid melting his flesh, he's going to lose his mind-
Someone is screaming, a drawn out sound of misery that sets his teeth on end. Somewhere in the depths of his mind, through the whirling storm that is currently the Force, he hears a voice, distorted and rough and oh so familiar.
"I'm not telling you anything! You'll have to kill me!"
Death doesn't come. The agony burns hot in his veins once more and Ezra snaps back to himself, shaking all over and with blood in his mouth.
"Kanan," he gasps, and it clicks into place. Somehow, through the Force, he's been sensing all day what Kanan has been going through. Hera was wrong. They aren't interrogating him off-world.
They're doing it now.
"Ezra!"
Hera is in front of him again, with her hands on his shoulders. That might be the only thing keeping him upright. "Maybe you should try to rest for a bit," she tells him. "You don't look so good and you're gonna need your strength for tomorrow."
"Not tomorrow," Ezra manages to say, even though he feels like he's about to be sick. What have they been doing to his Master? How is it physically possible to be in that much pain? "Hera, we have to go right now."
Hera frowns. "Did you have another vision?"
"Not... exactly." Ezra struggles to collect his thoughts. "I don't know how it's happening, but I can feel what Kanan is going through right now, through the Force. You were wrong, Hera. They didn't wait at all before interrogating him."
Hera's eyes widen and she grips his shoulders a little harder. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Positive." Ezra doesn't think he'll ever be able to forget what he heard. He shudders again.
"Well, this changes everything," Hera says under her breath. He can almost see her reworking plans in her head. "You're right, Ezra. We can't afford to wait. I'm going to speak to my contact again. Get ready to go, all of you. I'll be back shortly."
She lingers for a second, and there's so much Ezra wants to say. He's been on his own since he was seven, he learned pretty quickly how to be tough, how to survive. He doesn't need reassurance from anyone, but right now he feels drained and tired and he wants Hera to tell him that Kanan will be all right.
This is war, though. There are no reassurances to give.
Ezra nods to her, then leaves the common room, shutting out the commotion of his friends preparing for the mission. He steps into the room he shares with Zeb to retrieve his lightsaber and stares at it for a moment.
Now that he knows what to look for, he can feel Kanan's presence in the Force, a beacon of torment. He clenches his fist around the lightsaber so hard he's half afraid something will snap off as fear threatens to overwhelm him. What is he going to do if Kanan dies before they can get to him? Who's going to teach him to control his abilities? How is he going to come back from losing both his parents and his Master?
Slow down, Ezra reminds himself. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths, trying to centre himself like Kanan has been teaching him. After a moment, he opens his eyes, feeling a little more clear-headed.
He's learning. Kanan's teachings are paying off, and now Ezra can put them to good use and go save his skin. Kanan just needs to stay alive long enough for that to happen.
"Hang in there, Kanan," he thinks, straightening up and preparing to join the crew. "Just a little bit longer."
I enjoyed writing the Rebels crew and might write more about them in the future. Please let me know what you thought!
(Edit: this is a oneshot, which means there will not be another chapter. Sorry to anyone who wanted more, but this is all!)