Hello Fellow Finchel lovers. I'm back with another story an author has allowed me to finish. VioletBeauregarde had lost her muse when Cory passed. Understandable, but I loved this story and wished to see it finished and I'm going to just that.

The first 24 Chapters are original with a few khazrn43 tweeks. I hope you enjoy as much as I will.

Story: I Finally Know Where My Heart Is
Rating: Mature
Category: Glee
Genre: Romance/Hurt/Comfort
Author: VioletBeauregarde
Last updated: 09/22/2012
I Must remind you I fill my stories with Smut. If you are easily offended I am not the author for you.

Summary: Following Basic Training, Finn visits Rachel in NYC. Is Finn in more danger in the Army or NYC? Dashes of Santana and Kurt thrown into the mix for my amusement. Begins at Season 3 Finale and moves forward.

Honor the Tether! Remember the Drummer!

*Chapter 1*: I Finally Know Where My Heart Is

**Season 3 "Goodbye" Episode spoiler**

I am not in a happy place regarding where I think Finn and Rachel are headed in the Season 3 Finale. This is my way of coping- a little stream of consciousness vignette with hope.

Glee, Jane Eyre, etc. = not mine- Typos, grammatical errors, etc = all mine (and sorry)

I Finally Know Where My Heart Is

His face... as he stopped running and watched my train retreat into the distance with me on it... I would never forget the expression on his face if I lived to be 100 and won a dozen Tonys. The love, the pain, the longing. It was like in the book, Jane Eyre. Mr. Rochester described having a string attached to his heart with the corresponding end attached to Jane's heart. Rochester said he had a notion that if they were separated, that string would snap, and he would take to bleeding inwardly. I could feel the string attaching me to Finn tightly bound to my heart, and the pain was indescribable. I prayed I was strong enough, that it was strong enough to stretch taut all the way to 110 E. 57th St. in NYC and not break.

Ironically, there was a production of Jane Eyre on Broadway, but I couldn't even summon my usual enthusiasm to imagine seeing it, let alone reading for a part in it. I just kept seeing Finn, the valiant, strong man who was giving me everything by letting me leave him behind. He'd put a brave face on until the very end, when I almost couldn't see his expression at such a distance. I think I must have felt rather than seen his pain. It seemed to be vibrating down that damn string. I knew my pain must be echoing back to him as well. This, being here on a train eventually bound for New York, was what I had wanted for as long as I could remember, so why did it have to hurt SO much? Because, it's not the only thing, or person I wanted since I laid eyes on my tall amber eyed quarterback.

The train was picking up speed, leaving everything, everyone to me, behind. Instead of watching the flat gray landscape pass by the window, I lost myself in the memories of last night in Finn's room as he held me, had been so supportive, so positive that it would all work out.

"Well, I checked the Greyhound schedules online, and there are dozens of buses to the city every week," he looked down at me, wiped tears from my cheeks and gave me a crooked half smile. I kissed the corner of his mouth that turned down in only the way his did. I tried to meet his eyes and smile, but I felt my tight smile slip into a grimace as fresh tears escaped the corners of my eyes.

"And you have the new phone your dads gave you for graduation, so we can even use Facetime if you are at a place with WiFI," at this he lowered his chin and studied me under his dark brows, "Rach, you were meant to do this, you have to do this. You've had this dream of New York for most of your life. I could never forgive myself if I held you back or... Besides this isn't the end. We'll get through this, and I know we'll be stronger for this. I know we won't see each other as much but..."

"Finn," I sobbed, "Even though we haven't always been a couple, I haven't gone more that a couple of days without seeing you or talking to you for three years, to say nothing of touching you or kissing you... or ...or loving you," I looked down at our hands now entwined and took a shaky breath before continuing, "Remember the laryngitis when we thought I might never sing again? I told you I was nothing without my voice, and I needed applause to live? I decided a long time ago there was something I needed much much more...," I looked up into his eyes, "...you. Always, you. I know we are young, but you are my-my... I can't even find the words- there aren't words for what you are to me. The way you make me feel is like when I'm standing on stage singing a solo and killing it, but it's so much better than that because I know you feel the same."

His expression had softened at this. He leaned down to press his open lips to mine in a soft kiss. Our lips seemed to cling to each others as if they did not want to separate. I suddenly felt desperate to be as close as possible, to fuse our bodies together and ward off the dread of impending separation.

Finally, he drew back his head and looked at me, his breath coming in little pants, "Rachel, I...promise...no," he shook his head in frustration. One of the endearing things about Finn was his struggle to find his words when he was emotional. He looked directly into my eyes, "I will always love you no matter where you are, who you are with or what you are doing. No need for me to promise, because that's just how it is and always will be." I could see tears in his eyes now, "...because I am right here." He reached out to place his hand on the left side of my chest over my heart. He grinned his boyish grin, "See, I finally know where my heart is. It is right here," gently pressing his palm into my chest for emphasis.

Now, on the train, I pressed my small hand where his large hand had been hours before. A sparkle like starlight caught my eye. The sun outside the train window had escaped the clouds and was glinting off the diamond in my ring, the ring Finn had given me with the promise that if I let him love me, it would be okay. Suddenly, I knew it would be, because he let me love him, too. I was Rachel Berry, and I was the luckiest girl in the world because Finn Hudson let me love him. He believed in me... in us, enough to let me go on my own for a while. I could do this. Leaving him had been the hard part, the rest was easy, because I knew where my heart was. At this moment it was in Lima, Ohio in a wonderful giant of a man that would someday bring it back to me no matter what...

Now, back to my happy place where Finn and Rachel eventually marry, are wildly happy, and have all their dreams fulfilled (including Tonys and babies at 26).

Thanks for reading!

I forgot to post the permission Violet gave me. So here it is 6/21/2017

fanFiction

Jun 19 (2 days ago)

to me

You have received a message from:

VioletBeauregarde
u/3951777/

Reply link: . ?rid=215221517#new

Subject: re: Your review to I Finally Know Where My Heart Is

A response to your review at r/8140070/

You have my blessing, m'dear! PM me when it's done, and I'll try to read it. My muse met her demise when Cory died, I'm sad to say. Best wishes, VB