Urgh. I don't understand this or why I wrote it. For all MxN fans.

"What the fuck do you want?" Mello said, jumping out from the bed and glaring at the white haired kid that'd just entered his room.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?" Near asked.

Woah, that's possibly the most he'd said to Mello since he arrived at Wammy's. No matter how many insults Mello hurled at him, he never responded, always ignoring him in favour of whatever Puzzle he was playing with at that moment. Without waiting for an answer from Mello, he continued.

"Well. Uh. Mello.. I." Near stuttered, looking out the window, avoiding Mello's eyes, "Mello I like you."

Mello smirked, "Oh really?" he said, sitting back down on the bed and picking up his chocolate bar, biting into the goodness, "Then why are you such an asshole?"

"I'm not?" Near said, frown forming on his face, "But by I like you I mea-"

"I don't care what you mean, Near," Mello growled, standing up and walking towards Near, "Get the fuck out of my roo-"

Near cut him off, pressing his lips clumsily against Mello's. Then pulling away, pale face going bright red as he blushed.

"By like you I meant I love you." Near whispered, actually meeting Mello's gaze for once, "I have forever. Since I came here. Remember you were really nice to me."

Mello shook his head, "Yeah I'm sure I was," he said sarcastically, "I repeat. Get out of my fucking room before I kill you, Near, because I will. I don't give a shit what lies you tell me, I'm not going to be friends with you or give up on trying to be number one. You'd like that, wouldn't you? If I just gave up now."

Near carried, as if he'd never spoken, "You sat with me at lunch, made everyone be nice to me, helped me, and comforted me."

"Then you turned out to be a lying bastard," Mello hissed.

"No, I'm just better than you."

Mello hit him. Hard.

Oh, and then he kissed him. Harder still.

He gripped Near like he was drowning, and raped his mouth with his own tongue until Near complied and started kissing back. You see, Mello hated Near. That weird delusive hate you get into, when you're trying to deny how much you like someone.

Oh shit what was he going to tell Matt?

Well, he obviously wouldn't tell Matt; Mello was aware of how much Matt cared about him. [Mello why you so desirable?] And he didn't even like Near. What the fuck.

Mello pushed Near off him, breathing heavily, chest tight.

"Goodbye, Mello," Near said, turning to leave.

"Where are you going?" Mello asked, look of bitter confusion on his face.

"Who knows," Near smirked, "Maybe I'll go shoot myself."

OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.

This story made me so screamish and ashamed that I went and flamed a ton of Self-Insert fics in my anger. :33