Do I own anything? Of course not. Well, I do own the song.

It was the 4000th anniversary of the Volturi rule and the guard and leaders celebrated all day. It had been a fun day, but it was 11:38 now and Aro and Caius has collapsed in the throne room, having drank too much blood. This caused the wives and the Guard (especially Jane and Alec) to erupt in fits of laughter. Even Marcus has allowed himself a smile.

Then the whole Guard went outside to the gigantic balcony that overlooked all of Volterra to sing a song that Felix and Demetri has created that was a parody of that timeless song, We Are Young by Fun. They thought it would be ironic (it is) since they were so old, yet looked so young.

(to the tune of We Are Young)

Give me a second I,

I need to get my thirst quenched

My friends are in the training room,

Using unparalleled powers

Aro and Caius are waiting for me,

just across the hall

My meal's been taken by some redhead [Victoria]

asking but a Cullen

I know you broke a law a while ago

I know you're trying to rip my face

But between the missions and Aro touching me

The fun at all the parties

You know I'm trying hard to kill you back

So if by the time we kill a newborn

And you feel like creating another

We'll tear you to shreds

Tonight

We are Volturi

So lets set some newborns on fire

We can dine happier

With a human or two

At first it was only Felix, Demetri, Alec, and Santiago singing. But then Jane, Afton, and Chelsea, and Renata joined in.

Tonight

We are Volturi

So lets set some newborns on fire

We can dine happier

With a human or two

Now I know that I'm not

The highest guard

I guess that I,

I just thought

Maybe we can find a new vamp to join us

But my friends are here

So let's drink some blood

Cause' I found some newborns to tear apart

By this time, everyone had joined in the singing, content to finally act carefree and like normal teenagers, and not like the stoic guards they were trained to be.

Tonight

We are Volturi

So lets set some newborns on fire

We can dine happier

With a human or two

Tonight

We are Volturi

So lets set some newborns on fire

We can dine happier

With a human or two

Every vampire on the balcony was all smiles now. Demetri, Chelsea, Afton, Santiago, and Alec were now standing arms around each other, while Felix was carrying a laughing Jane in his arms.

Carry me home tonight

(la la la la la la)

Just feed me a human tonight

(la la la la la la)

Carry me home tonight

(la la la la la la)

Lets act informal tonight

The Ancients are on my side

I'm so immune to fire (or not!)

So will someone come and give me some blood tonight

The newborns never arrived

But I can hear the screams

So will the guard be throwing a party in the castle

Tonight

We are Volturi

So lets set some newborns on fire

We can dine happier

With a human or two

Tonight

We are Volturi

So lets set some newborns on fire

We can dine happier

With a human or two

So if by the time we kill a newborn

And you feel like creating another

We'll tear you to shreds

Tonight...