Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi (but how awesome would I be if I did)

A/N: This story was based on a dream I had not so long, I have a pretty good idea to where this story is going. I'm really excited because the idea seems a bit original and I had a lot of fun writing this first chapter. Like always reviews are always appreciated.

If you ever had something truly bad happen to you, you realize your life becomes all about Then and Now. I'm not talking about some my-boyfriend-broke-up-with-me-so-I-want-to-die kind of thing; I'm talking about something that hurts so much that makes you lose the will to live. I remember the day when it ended or in another way when it started.

"Clare, go tell your sister it's time to leave, the Goldsworthy's are waiting for us" my mom yelled from downstairs. I groaned and got myself out of bed, I changed into some skinny jeans- that I got to admit it made my ass look fantastic- and a sweatshirt. I wasn't excited to have dinner at my neighbor's house, don't get me wrong CeeCee and Bullfrog are awesome people, it's just their son Eli. We've lived next door to them for as long as I can remember but for some reason Eli has always been cold with me. He never talked to me at school even though we had English together and when our families got together he would never even glance at me, but I guess that's what happens when you live in opposite worlds. Eli's world is all about popularity, drugs and sex, he thinks just because he hangs out with "the bad-ass crew" he's all hot and stuff. I on the other hand live in a world that's just about trying to get through my life in High School, I've never been the popular girl that every guy wants, in fact I've only had one boyfriend but I don't want to get into that right now.

I decided to get Eli Goldsworthy out of my mind and headed towards my sister's room. I knocked on it and yelled "Darcy it's time to leave". I heard her giggle and I slowly opened the door. Darcy was laying down on her bed talking on the phone with who I assume was her boyfriend Peter. She was too busy talking to him that she completely ignored me. I reached for a pillow that was on the floor and threw it at her.

"Ouch, Clare what the hell" she said

"Oppsies " I smiled "Mom wants us ready to leave"

"Ughh, I don't want to go, can't we stay?" she whined

"Come on Darcy"

"You just want to go 'cause you want to see your dark mysterious boyfriend" she teased. Darcy would always make fun of me saying I liked Eli, apparently since he was a "bad-boy" and I was a "goodie-goodie" we would be the perfect romantic movie couple. I just rolled my eyes and walked out of her room.

Soon we were all changed and heading out the door. Once we got to the Goldsworthy's residence CeeCee and Bullfrog immediately greeted us with smiles and hugs.

"Clare you look lovely tonight" CeeCee said.

"Thanks CeeCee, you always look fabulous" I saw the small hint of a blush spread across her cheeks, and that made me smile a little. CeeCee and Bullfrog had the spirits of teenagers, they were crazy as hell but they were made for each other.

"Elijah! get your but downstairs" Bullfrog yelled

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. "What did I say about you calling me Elijah" said Eli his tone of voice sounded obviously annoyed.

Bullfrog playfully slapped the back of his head "Don't give me attitude you little brat"

Eli just rolled his eyes and said "Hi" to everyone except for me. Of course.

We all made our way to the table except for Eli who stayed in the living room texting someone. When he got to the table, he swept a chunk of that hair behind one ear and glanced at me, at Darcy, then at my parents, with big, bright eyes that never matched the rest of him, especially now. He seemed confused, like he'd forgotten why our family was here, in his house, interrupting his nightly listening-to-my-iPod-and-surfing-online-porn session.

I survived dinner by forgetting he was there, which was surprisingly easy to do because he just ate quietly. After dinner, I was helping my mom do dishes as CeeCee put away the leftovers, and I saw an opportunity to get out of there.

"Hey, mom?" I asked. "After we're done, can I skip dessert and just go home? I was working on this book report Ms. Dawes assigned us"

She just paused. "I think CeeCee has spent a lot of time making her famous chocolate cake."

"Me?" squeaked CeeCee, surprised. "Helen, I thought you were making it!"

They looked at each other for a very tense moment, and I actually thought some kind of fistfight might break out. But then they were laughing. I sighed in relief.

We walked back to the dining room and informed everyone about our dessert mix-up.

"Let's just go to The-Dot and get a milkshake or something" Said Darcy sounding concern but I knew she just wanted an excuse to go see Peter.

"That actually doesn't sound bad" said Bullfrog.

"Well Clare's just gonna head back, she has homework to do" my mom informed my dad.

"That's all right, I'll bring you something Clare-bear" he said and I cringed at the nickname.

"Actually mom" spoke Eli out of nowhere "I'm going to skip dessert too, I want to head over to Julia's" I rolled my eyes as he mention his girlfriend. I don't hate anyone but, the feelings I have towards Julia are really close to hate. She was such a bitch not just to me but to everyone. I've seen the way she acts at school, always flirting with other guys in front of Eli just to get a reaction out of him. I don't know how anyone could be with someone like that but then again I didn't know anything about Eli Goldsworthy.

"All right, have fun baby boy just don't be home too late and behave" said his mother. she turned to my parents and continued "Since it's only the five of us why don't we all just go in our new SUV"

Everyone nodded and made their way towards the car. I waved Good-bye and walked back to my house. My phone rang about an hour later.

"Hey there sexy lady"

"Hey Alli" I giggled at her comment

"How was dinner with Dr. Doom?" she asked

"Ughh, awkward , he didn't even say a word to me the entire time I was there"

"He's such a freak"

I know," I said, getting up. "It's like, once he decided to hang out with the bad-ass wannabes, they gave him an instruction manual. Rule one; be grumpy and brooding at all times."

"Rule two" continued Alli "Not getting high once a day it's a sin, they're such a fraud"

"Hey you're the one that had a crush on him"

"A million years ago, when Eli Goldsworthy actually qualified as a human being, and before he started going out with Satan" I laughed at the nickname Alli gave Julia. "I swear she's such a whore, I saw her making out with Owen not too long ago behind the GYM"

"Ouch" I truly felt bad for Eli, in his weird way I could tell he actually care about Julia.

We spent the next 30 minutes talking about everything and anything. Then I heard something in front of the house.

"Alli, hang on" i said getting up the couch "I think there's someone at the door"

We sat silent for a few seconds, and I could hear my breathing sync up with hers on the other end of the line. There it was again, two short knocks.

"I'm walking you into the living room," I said to Alli, shifting the phone to my other ear. "If it's an ax murderer, you'll hear the whole thing."

"Ooo ax murderer sounds fun" she said and we both giggled.

I opened the door and saw Officer Turner, Alli's boyfriend's father. Even though I said it as a joke part of me was glad I wasn't going to die tonight. But the sad Expression on Officer Turners face told me otherwise.

There weren't many details about the accident for Officer Turner to explain to me. He was trying to hide it but I could see tears rolling down his eyes, this was a small town everybody knew each other and every time someone died it seemed to bring every one down.

Things were said and things were asked, and suddenly I was sitting cross legged on the living room floor, pushed down there by the weight of new information.

My mother, father, and someone they assumed was my sister had been pronounced dead on arrival at the Memorial Hospital.

So had CeeCee. Bullfrog was in the emergency room, not dead on arrival but pretty messed up. Somehow, the new SUV had gone off the road, tumbled into a steep ditch, and caught fire. They didn't know how, and they didn't know why. They just knew it happened I guess life is like that sometimes.

Everything around me was spinning and I suddenly forgot how to feel, how to swallow, how to think. Everything just went numb. It felt like a dream a really horrible dream. I couldn't move, Officer Turner told me that he had contacted my Aunt Elena and that she was on her way. She was the only family I had left. I looked out the window and saw another officer outside of Eli's house talking to him, he was crying, hands pulling his hair and screaming why. He sat on the front steps and buried his face on his knees. The Officer tried talking to him but he just kept screaming "Go away you fucking liar". For the first time in years I didn't see a thug wannabe , I saw a normal boy who had just lost everything that mattered to him.

How do I get out? Can I take one big step and be on the other side of it? Maybe if I say something, anything, the whole thing will just go away.

Stupid thinking.

Want another chapter? Then Review