AN: Hi! This is my first fic ever and English is not my mother tongue, so I would like you to warn me about any mistakes or inconsistencies.
The story is set after the ending of a school year (the characters are teenagers)
Hope you enjoy your reading!
Ch 1: Confessions
Part I
Snow, Caitlin
Have you ever had a... special... "friend"? I mean someone that you don't speak that much with, yet you both know you can trust and tell anything to each other. It's like you never needed to say it out loud or have a deep meaningful conversation about it. It was implicit; it always had been, although neither of the two realised exactly when it started.
So, this "friend", you like him and care about him so much that you don't want to lose him. He's one of those persons you just want to be around for a long, long time. It feels so comfortable to have him around, so… familiar. You can't help the smile on your faces every morning when you greet each other with a simple "good morning".
And then there are those days when you just feel this tension between the two of you, as if something is pulling you towards each other. It's almost magnetic. When you hug, when he touches your arm or your shoulder during a conversation… even if you're not alone, just having him by your side, without any physical touch… it's distracting, it speeds up your heart for no reason and you don't want it to end…
It's intoxicating. And somehow you know he feels it too.
It's confusing. Why does this happen?
And it comes back to "normal" the day after. The intense, overwhelming feeling, I mean. It keeps coming and going and always leaves you wondering if it was even there in the first place.
Do either of you speak about it? Nope. Not a single word. As if it's dangerous to talk about it because it might change it all. You feel like you can't live with it anymore, but you also can't live without it. And you say nothing. You do nothing. You're just too damn scared it might change. It feels wrong. HE feels wrong. Yet, it feels so right.
But he is just a friend. And you are just a friend to him. Because those daydreams won't come true unless you do something. And you don´t.
Anyways, I completely zoned out. My name is Caitlin Snow and my so called special "friend" goes by the name of Barry… Barry Allen.
Part II
Allen, Barry
My name is Barry Allen and she… Well, she's called Caitlin Snow.
Truth is it's not that simple. No one knows what's going through my mind. It's hard to explain and understand and it's better if it remains just a secret in my deep thoughts. And it's not like we can just run to each other's arms if we feel like it.
I have a girlfriend, Iris. This thing with Caitlin (if there is a thing), we have had it for so long, but with Iris, it was so clear from the start. I like her, I really do and she makes me so happy. And I know she loves me.
Caitlin has Ronnie. He's my friend, a great guy and loves her very much. They look so happy together. So in love.
I would be lying if I said absolutely nothing ever happened between me and Caitlin. Well, it didn't… but it almost did.
Last fall (wow, almost a year ago), we felt particularly close. It looked like one of us was about to make the first move, to make a leap of faith. And then Ronnie happened. He was perfect for her, and eventually she ended up falling for him. It's not like I blame her or anything. They were perfect for each other. And nothing had happened between us.
And then I met Iris. We got along really well from the beginning and things just happened. Everything seemed so perfect back then, but after all this time, more and more I realize: hell, it never felt like it did with Caitlin. We are so good, but I can't shake the thought that I would be better with her.
I'm kind of in a "what if" situation right now.
"What if I had made the move?"
"What if it was Caitlin?"
And now it's too late. I can't do anything. I would screw up both relationships. Too many heartbreaks. No, I can't do anything.
And then again, it's Caitlin. She's my friend. Just a friend.
What the hell am I thinking?
AN: This is kind of an introduction to what's going through their minds.
Thank you for reading and let me know what you think and if I should continue!
If you have any question or suggestion, please say so, I'm all ears ;)