Dear Diary,

I hate this place; everyone is so mean and nasty. Why do I have to be here? Why can't I go home to my mother? I pray every night that God will find a way for me to be with her again. I miss her so much that it hurts my heart. I fall asleep with stinging eyes from the salty tears that I cry. I cry and look up to the sky and wish upon the stars that I am unable to see; with my mother I could always see them. They looked so pretty, like diamonds in the night's velvet sky.

One day I will be back in America with my mother, no-one believes me. Maybe they know something I don't or maybe it is the other way around because I know in my heart that one day I will be back in the safety of her arms once again.

It has been exactly twelve years, two months, three weeks, one day and seven hours since I last saw her face and every minute has been a nightmare. I'm living a nightmare everyday and I sometimes struggle to see when it will end. I hope that my mother will come and save me but she thinks that I am dead.

I know that because I had to stand behind her at my own funeral. Every tear that fell from her beautiful brown eyes and ran down her tanned cheeks put another crack in my broken heart. Every beat of my heart causes me pain and I wish it would end, but on the other hand I don't want to cause my mother that pain.

I saw her one week and three hours ago and she is still broken from my "passing". I hope to follow her and tell her who I am soon. I can't stay hidden for much longer. She is my world and I am obviously still hers. I know she cries herself to sleep just like me.

My eyes are stinging from all my tears and I kiss the photo I have of her on my bedside table. I kiss the Star of David she gave me as a baby, and I pray to God again. I hope he listens to my prayers. Do you think he hears me? Do you think he likes me? Is this my punishment for something I did in a past life?

Every night is the same routine and every morning I wake up in yet another nightmare, then again it is actually the same one.

I'm begging you God, please help me.

I know in my heart that you will find a way for me to be with my mother in his lifetime.

Goodnight Diary, Goodnight God. Please make sure that my mother is okay, and send me a sign to tell me how she is doing. I miss her.