PIPER

Percy's mom died. We don't know exactly how yet, but we know she did. Right when Chiron IMed us, Percy yelled and cut off the mist, but then showed no emotion. And he still hasn't. It's been three days so far, and he hasn't been showing any emotion, just doing what has to be done and that's it. He goes about his business working on the ship, practicing sword fighting—which he doesn't need to—for his standard four hours, then just sits on the railing at the bow of the ship, on the boom, or in the crow's nest by Festus' head. Nothing else. He doesn't laugh or joke. But the thing that scares me the most is that he doesn't even show pain. If a random person came on the ship—which happened before, don't ask, it's a long story—they would just think that Percy is the leader, focused only on the war. They would be partly right. Percy is the leader because he has had the most experience, he is the best fighter—much to Jason's dismay—and overall, he is just a good leader. He cares about others and puts them above himself, always.

We all have been getting worried about Percy. Except for Annabeth. Somehow, she seems to be taking this as if she's dealt with this before. She knows Percy so well that she probably knows exactly what's going on in his head every second. I can tell that she's still scared, but that she knows Percy will be fine. I try to believe so to, but Percy is so different than he used to be.
Last night, I got up to go the bathroom. We all had our own rooms, but Percy's was basically the Captain's because even though Leo made this boat and will control it in the air and in case of disaster, it still responds to Percy because it's a boat, and boats are kind of Poseidon's thing. Annabeth explained to me that he could control boats just by thinking about it before we got to the Roman camp, but I didn't believe it until I saw him snap his fingers and the sails were raised and everything was perfect—which would have taken us five minutes with Leo's constant yelling to do. But back to the point, last night I was up to go the bathroom when I saw that Percy's door was open. I peeked inside and saw that he wasn't there, or in his private bathroom. I went to bathroom then continued looking for him. Hey, don't judge me, I was curious!

Finally, when I got to the top deck, I saw two figures standing at the bow. On was clearly Percy, he was the tallest here, and the other I assumed was Annabeth. They were talking, something that Percy hasn't really done much of lately. I decided to snoop.

"I just really miss her."

"I know you do Perce."

"She was all I had for 12 years, Annie." He called her Annie!

"I know, but at least she's in Elysium. Hades promised us that last night." They have been doing this every night? She didn't even yell at him for 'Annie!'

"Yeah, but still. I miss her. I never even got to see her when we were back in New York." Percy was really upset about that, but Frank convinced him that they needed to stay on track and keep focused. He mentioned something that Mars told them on a quest. I don't know, we still don't know EVERYTHING that happened on their quest, but I guess we never will.
There were a couple minutes of silence. Then Annabeth finally asked him what I've been wondering this whole conversation.

"Why are you acting like that in front of the others? You can show them that you hurt. They're your friends too."
Percy turned around and faced Annabeth. Then he sat down on the deck and Annabeth followed suit.

He exhaled. "I don't know. I guess I've always been the leader. I've never been granted the privilege of showing my pain. The closest was last year, when you took the dagger. I've always been able to with you, the same as you could with me. But to them, I'm their leader. Here we are equals, but they still look up to me. And if I showed them how broken I was, they wouldn't think of me as a leader. I don't talk much because I'm afraid if I say anything, the dam will break. Sometime soon I'm gonna crack. I am going to attack something with all my anger and strength, because I know that she died because I am a demigod."

"You don't know—"

"I do. Just as you know that no matter what happened, Luke was going to leave us, even if he came back—like he did." I never really knew about Luke. I knew that he was a traitor, but also a good guy. Nobody would really talk about him, just like Percy when he was missing. "I just hope that I'm facing a monster. I don't want to explode on any of them. I'm not mad at them, especially not Frank. Make sure to tell him that okay?" Percy asked his girlfriend.

"I will."

"Thanks, 'Beth."

"No problem." She said sweetly.

"No really, thanks for everything. For being my rock."

"Thank you, for being my anchor."

With that, I left. I wanted them to enjoy some private, couple time. I went to bed knowing more about Percy Jackson than I thought I would now. And I appreciated him even more now.

-

This morning, I was eating breakfast with Jason, Frank, and Hazel. We all were eating Cheerios.

"Guys, I'm worried about Percy." Hazel said.

"Yeah, I'm not sure that he's still fit to lead." Jason said. I knew that Jason was still a little bitter about Percy being stronger than him, but it was almost water under the bridge.

"Look guys, Percy is a fighter. He knows what his duty is and will do it. I've already talked to him about it, and so has my dad." Frank said.

"I'm still worried though." Hazel said. She thought of him as her brother. He had helped her a lot.

"I'm not." They all just looked at me questioningly. "Percy has been through a lot. He's seen a lot. He has his coping mechanisms. Everybody views him as a leader, and when he's messed up, he does exactly what is expected of him. He leads. He may not be as fun right now, but he has never stopped doing what this quest requires him to do, he just stopped socializing as much. I know that once he accepts his mother's death, he will go back to normal, or as normal as a guy who had to lead 2 wars can be."

"How can you be so sure?" Hazel asked.

"Because he's Percy. Because both camps trust him, for different reasons. Jupiter because he's strong; Half-Blood because he's loyal and loving. Because he was born to be a leader. He was born to do this. And as history shows, he does what he has to, no complain, and he never turns his back on his friends."

"And because you spied on us last night." Annabeth said. She was leaning against the doorway. Percy's arms were around her waist, and he was completely ignoring everything else. He didn't say anything to us about them questioning him as leader. He sat down and ate his food. He finished his food and left to do rounds on the trip.

"Are you sure?" Jason asked. Annabeth didn't answer.

"Yes." I said, more sure of this than anything I have in my life.

Because he's a leader. But not by his choice. By everybody else's choice.

He's our leader.