A/N: This is a long overdue follow to '12 Days' which was written the Christmas before last. I never liked the way it was abruptly boom Lorne and OC together so at the time I started writing something to go with it. Unfortunately life and kids and pregnancy took over everything aswell as another story that I was working on and I sort of forgot about it. After finding it again I started to rework it whenever I had a few minutes but again life took over. I managed to get back into over the last month and hopefully it has turned out OK.
This one is for Nausicaa2301. Unknown to you every review you left was the kick start I needed to get moving and thinking and writing again. So thankyou!
XxXxX
He should be exhausted but some part of his brain just won't switch off. His whole body is sated, relaxed to a point he didn't think it was capable of but the soft warmth of the body at his side is keeping him awake. He knows she isn't meaning to keep him awake having already found sleep herself but the feel of her, just knowing that she is there is keeping his mind running.
The first time he saw her sat at the briefing in Dr Andrews place she'd caught his eye. Confident and sure in a way few ever were sitting at that table, she looked too innocent to be spouting the political round abouts she was using to get her way. That led to the first of many off world trips that seemed repetitively unsuccessful. After accidentally pushing her down an embankment to avoid being picked up by a passing wraith dart something had started. It wasn't until he returned from a fruitless rescue mission that things changed, for him at least.
He'd been sat at a table at some late hour trying to eat the mush that was once his dinner when she slid into the chair opposite. A steaming cup of coffee was slipped into his hand and then that was it. As strange as it was sitting with her having known her just a short time he found it easy. She sat in complete silence occasionally sipping the tea in her cup. For all the hours that she sat there with him her gaze never wavered from the night's sky and he had never been more thankful. At that moment he couldn't have taken meaningless conversation or tactfully asked questions but somehow not being alone but being left alone had been what he had needed.
That had started something. Had they been back on Earth he would have said they were dating but normality was different a galaxy away even if the emails his mother and sister sent said differently. Every Monday evening, when they were both in the city, they would sit together, her with a hot tea, him with a hot coffee and they would talk whilst staring out at Atlantis from the balcony. They had their own little table in the far corner huddled away from everything but still with an amazing view of the city, the lights dazzling against the velvet darkness beyond.
The conversation started out light, two people trying to wind down after a long day trying to find some resemblance of normality a galaxy away from home but then it was closer, more intimate. They took their time, sat in silence some nights nothing needing to be said. They just seemed comforted by each others presence as they stared at the lights across from them. Others they had talked and talked, their drinks long forgotten. Both had been continually patient knowing that there was no need to push each other even on the best of days. The worst of their days was met with compassion and an understanding that went beyond the norm, the experiences shared in words and in silence. The confidence they had with each other bound them more than either had expected.
Then she had come to him telling him she had to leave and she wasn't sure for how long. An awkward silence had hung over them for a while as he watched her hands trace patterns over her cup. When she finally did speak the pain and guilt on her face was heartbreaking and she had to stop herself so many times to wipe away the tears as they streamed down her face. She didn't want to go but had felt she had to, that she owed someone too much to go against what they had asked of her.
The silence that followed had seeped into his bones chilling him from the inside. He couldn't find anything to say. He sat there waiting for something, what he didn't know, until his eyes were drawn to the night's sky. She had risen from her seat, thanked him for everything placing a light kiss to his cheek before walking away. He had watched her walk away each step breaking him a little more but he felt frozen in his seat unable to move or speak. He had sat and stared at his hands for the rest of the evening, his coffee going cold beside her forgotten tea.
That night he had tossed and turned for hours his mind incapable of rest. After pulling the tangled sheets from around his legs tossing them to the other side of the room in frustration he had flopped down onto his back with a deep sigh. When he couldn't stand staring at the ceiling any longer he got up deciding to go for a run. By the time he had pulled on his shoes and headed down the hallways the city was virtually silent the gentle rustling of his clothing and the slap of his shoes the only sound in the darkened hallways. He had intended to head to the Marines route away from the main part of the city only to find himself heading to her door. His mind screamed at him telling him had to ask her to stay, to tell her how much she was needed here, how much he needed her here. He wanted to tell her to forget whoever, that she could do whatever she wanted to do. He would order her to stay if he had to knowing that for whatever reason she would listen but as he stood facing her door about to raise his hand he couldn't bring himself to do it. After what felt like a lifetime he stepped back away from the door only managing a few steps down the hallway before he had second thoughts. With a shake of his head he started walking away increasing his pace until he reached the transporter sending himself as far away as he could.
But she had returned only a few short months later looking no different save for the light pink tinge from too much sun on her cheeks. He'd been stood at the balcony leading off the mess hall when he'd caught the strong scent of coffee. He had thought nothing of it until a cup appeared in front of him. He'd taken it slowly his hand catching over the delicate wrapped one around it. That was when the vanilla hint hit his nose. She always smelt of vanilla. He had turned his head slowly looking at the small hands that rested gently on the railing beside him. Following them up the arms to the face, to her face he couldn't help but smile. She was already back in uniform her hair braided like always and there on her face was that smile. The smile that no matter what stayed on her face, brightening her eyes.
Movement beside him stilled his thoughts. Her warm body pushed gently against him as she stirred, her head snuggling further into his chest settling with a deep sigh. Her warm breath blew across his bare chest sending a warm shiver through him. It was now gladly a familiar warmth that brought memories of the night flooding through his body and mind reminding him of every blissful moment. But her hand stretching out over his chest resting over his heart for a spell before softening back as she slipped back into sleep relaxed him back into the bed. That action settled something inside of him, a part that thought this was down to the alcohol he had tasted on her, that this was nothing more than the Christmas party fling.
Last night the look in her eyes had reminded him of the fateful day when a simple flu vaccination had related with the pollen of an off world plant. Unlike then it wasn't tainted with a crazed undertone. The wildness that he had seen in her then had not been repeated but the passion and the need that had been so raw then had been screaming from every pore and every action almost as desperately as it had from him.
Neither of them seemed able to touch and kiss and feel enough to satisfy, one heated moment building into the next. The power of the passion, the lust filled way he had wanted to claim her had worried him until he took into account the months that this had been building. He was a chivalrous man, an honourable man even, his mother had seen to that from the start but he was still a man. He still had limits and some part of him was surprised he had lasted so long before taking action. In all of his relationship history both in the long and short term he had never danced around a woman so much and for so long. Even back in his school days his crushes and flirtations had only lasted a short time before reaching a climax.
But they had all burnt out sooner or later. The lust that had been there at the start fizzling out whether that was before or after he was transferred or back from leave was another story.
He drifted after that, mind sailing as his body twitched its way towards slumber. A pained whimper and sudden jerk woke him like a shot. Her brow was furrowed, face contorted as she dreamt. The faint light from the moons made her face look distorted, a map of pale colour and dark shadows that snapped a vile memory into his mind's eye.
He can see her bound to that chair again bloody and dirty. She had been laughing at the few captors that surrounded her and the marines who had accompanied her. The laugh had been manic, crazed, barely heard over the shouts and bellows of the marines as one of the captors back handed her. Her laugh had gone on even after the men were dead on the ground and the marines were unshackled.
Some part of him had thought that would be it, that would be the moment his feelings would come flooding to the forefront in pure clarity. The sight of her bound to the chair, glazed eyes blinking at them owlishly as they attempted to free her had struck him hard but he was angry more than anything else. Leading the team who had accompanied her, all of them with barely a mark on them, out of the dirty compound he realised his anger was nothing compared to theirs.
By the time they were back on Atlantis his head was spinning. He was confused and angry and hated it.
It took days before she had woken and when she did she just smiled at him. The whole thing was pure chance. He had just gone in for his long overdue vaccinations. It was a blink and you would miss it moment, the smile fading as the pain crossed her face. That brief moment made him realise what the nagging feeling he'd carried around in his chest since they returned home had been.
He'd felt something was off, a nagging feeling like a piece of furniture had been moved giving a strange sense of space that left him looking around time and time again. He watched her slowly slip back to sleep, a nurse fussing at her side and just like that the problem was solved. She hadn't been around. However wonderful the feeling had been it left a new concern. He'd been attracted to her, that had been without doubt, but comparing her to a piece of furniture had left an unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach. That's just not how it was supposed to work.
Glancing to his clock he had to reach out to move one of his socks before he could see the time. Tossing the sock away he wiped his eyes the tired ache behind them making the numbers blur. When the numbers came into focus he sighed at himself for letting his thoughts keep him awake.
"You're thinking," a tired voice said the words mumbling together against his skin.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you," he replied ending it with a face splitting yawn.
"s'okay." He watched her sleepily turn until her chin was resting on the hand on his chest. The dreamy, half awake expression on her face made him smile. His hand reached out of its own accord cupping her cheek tenderly. Seeing her as relaxed as him made his smile grow.
"You think extremely loudly."
"Sorry."
"It's fine. What were you thinking about?" He thought he saw a flicker of nerves in her eyes, the faint tension in the way she held herself away from him ever so slightly just confirming it.
"You," he replied letting his eyes wander to his thumb as it caressed her cheek. He could still feel the spark as he touched her. It awakened his senses hitching them up a notch. The devilish smile that he was coming to love spread across her face as her eyes sparkled in the faint moonlight.
"At least it was something important," and she swallowed any retort he could have made by kissing him. This kiss was as different to the others they'd had to up until then. It had the passionate undertone that had filled every kiss before but it was soft and gentle and when he felt her pulling away ending the kiss before he wanted it to he sank his fingers into her hair. He continued to kiss her banishing away the image of her beaten and broken losing himself in the feel of her.
Somehow she'd changed positions without him realising her upper body resting on his bringing her head level with his. The way she was looking at him made him feel like she was looking for something. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth making some small flair of worry begin in his gut. She must have found what she was looking for as her body sank closer if possible her legs tangling with his.
He couldn't complain about the view as he angled his head to look down between them, his hands slipping down the skin of her back to her ass. His mind wanted to stay but his hands seemed to want to keep moving. They traced her curves, skimming her breasts to comb through her hair travelling back again. She was warm, vanilla silk all over and he couldn't get enough.
His pace slowed, her hands travelling over him mimicking his movements. Even with her eyes on his face she sensed every scar, carefully avoiding them. He could see the question in her eyes knowing she could she could see his own in his when his hands danced over the criss crossing pattern on her back, when his fingertips grazed the silver line near the base of her spine. When he lifted his hand back up he was certain he knew just what had made that pattern. He'd always known the who. The moment he had heard those words spill from her brother's mouth about her training he had known.
"One day. I promise," she whispered her hand stilling unconsciously over one of the worst physical scars he carried. He knew she meant it and somewhere deep inside him he made the same promise not wanting to verbalise it.
Thoughts escaped him as she slowly slid her body up his. He couldn't judge the look in her face but there was still a twinkle in her eye. That small, simple thing settled him but it didn't prepare him for the scorching kiss she laid on him, giving him just a hint of tongue before pulling away leaving him groaning. He was about to make a comment when her mouth crushed to his again. It felt as though she had zipped straight passed simmer and gone straight to boil. His tired body was quickly getting in on the program but every time he deepened the kiss, every time he tried for something more she would pull back leaving him practically panting.
She was never more than an inch or two away but she might swell have been on the other side of the room for all the good it did him.
"Want to know a secret?" she asked nipping at his bottom lip. His mind glazed over at the fire that simple act sent through him. His hips instinctively lifted, grinding against her thigh searching for a touch, for friction. Dampening the urge to flip their positions he focussed on the handful of words she had spoken.
"What kind of secret?" he asked back, all too aware of the devilish smirk growing on her face. She looked a little too smug about his distraction so threading his finger deeper into her hair he tugged her down working every skill he had to kiss her senseless.
Pulling back just as her own passion met his he had his own smug grin at her dishevelled state. When she didn't say anything he lifted his head giving her a quick peck.
"So this secret?" he chuckled taking in her spaced out appearance. He watched her eyes focus on his, the blown pupils contracting, zeroing in on him.
"Today is my birthday," she whispered the words brushing his lips. "Want to help me celebrate?"
Sharing in her smirk he locked his arms around her, holding her against him as he sat pulling her deep into his lap.
"Happy Birthday," he muttered capturing her lips tickling her sides making her whole body squirm against his.
XxXxX
The early morning air slightly chilled his skin but the warmth of the soft body curled into his side was worth a little chill. He had tried to stay still wanting to watch the play of new day light on her bare skin. Each breath he took was smooth and deep, rising as she breathed out, heated breath blowing over his bare chest. There weren't enough moments like this, his body relaxed and calm, soft light taking away shadows from the corners whilst the city happily hummed away. He knew people all around the city would be waking soon, a concoction of regrets and hangovers mixing with seasonal cheer. He knew they were the same thoughts that had gone through his mind when he bleary opened his eyes to the dark haired beauty currently laid with him. He didn't regret a single moment and aside from one fleeting thought he didn't think she would either.
Moving his arm slowly to rest behind his head he angled himself a little better to see her face. The skin was cool against his head a bizarre contrast to the constant warmth at his side.
"I know you're awake." he whispered smiling when he felt her breath rush against his chest.
"How?" she muttered into his chest slowly turning her upper body to rest on his chest, her chin resting on the back of her hands as she looked up at him.
"I'm trained to know these things." he replied watching one eyebrow slowly rise. Such a small thing shouldn't be as sexy as it was. "It's true. Your breathing changed and you were a little more tense in your neck."
"Will have to work on that then," she replied moving her fingers to place a small kiss to his chest before laying her head down again. "What time are you on duty?"
"Not. Sheppard gave me the day off. Said I deserved it. Didn't feel like arguing."
"Good. What have you got planned?"
"Nothing. Sleep unless a better offer comes around," he said shifting deeper into his pillow. "Although I do have a question." He could hear the teasing in his voice and knew she would know what he was going to ask.
"Don't," she said laughing knowing that he would ask her any way.
"Is that why you are called Merry?" Her reply was drowned out in the laughter that consumed them both. Slipping closer he plastered himself against her sending them slipping over the edge of the bed when she tried to wriggle away. Their laughter filled the room as they lay tangled up in sheets and each other. He had truly never had a Christmas morning like it.