AN: So, after their enjoyable trip on the Titanic, Sapphire and Olivia have joined The Doctor and Rose. While the Doctor is actually No. 10, this next story is my favourite two episodes altogether, and had the Ninth Doctor. Let me know who your favourite Doctor is. Mine is David Tennant. Hope you enjoy the story.
It Would Have Landed Quite Near Here With A Very Loud Bang
Explosions of laughter could be heard emanating through the library in the TARDIS, as Rose, The Doctor, Sapphire, and Olivia read jokes and played charades. They were having a grand old time, just as happy as could be, enjoying each others company.
The library was, like most rooms in the TARDIS, big, and was how a library should be in Sapphire's opinion. It was beautifully stocked, with first editions of several books, which were worth a fair bit, a beautiful Steinway Piano, and at that current point in time, they were thumbing through joke books.
"Here's a good one, all the jokes are about fruit and vegetables," Olivia said.
"Ooo, I have a good Pun. It contains strawberries," Sapphire grinned cheerfully.
The Doctor chuckled, but the other two looked blank.
Sapphire shook her head, and explained, "Strawberries come in punnets," she said, and they smiled.
"Thanks," Olivia said. "What was Beethoven's favourite fruit?"
The Doctor grinned, and Sapphire dashed over to the beautiful Steinway piano in the library.
To the tune of the opening of Beethoven's Fifth Movement, Sapphire and the Doctor played and sang: "Ba-Na-Na-Na!"
All of them laughed cheerfully, each was in a good mood.
"So, where are we going?" Rose asked, watching as Sapphire's fingers danced along the piano, now playing Fur Elise.
"Not sure," said the Doctor, just as Sapphire stopped playing, and a whiff of body odour assaulted her nostrils.
"Yuck!" She said in disgust, and without another word, she left the library to have a shower.
The other three, having a good idea of where she was going, reconvened in the Console Room.
As they milled about, something suddenly appeared on the TARDIS's flight computer. It looked like a bomb, but very strangely shaped. While neither girl noticed the object, they did notice when the TARDIS was going faster, and when the Doctor started rushing around like a headless chicken.
Nearly knocked off of her feet, Olivia asked, "What's the emergency? You're rushing around like a headless chicken."
Rose laughed, but the Doctor was much too preoccupied to do the same.
"It's mauve," he said.
"Mauve?" Olivia asked.
"Yes, mauve. It's a delicate pale purple, and it's the universally recognised colour for danger," he explained.
"I know what colour mauve is," Olivia retorted. She was about to say more, when Rose asked the very question on Olivia's mind: "What happened to red?"
With a light scoff, the Doctor said, "That's just you humans. By the standards of everyone else, however, red's camp. Oh, those misunderstandings, all that dancing," he smiled.
Dancing? I believe he's talking about sex, Olivia thought, a faint pink blush appeared on her cheeks as she had this thought.
"Anyway, whatever this is," he continued, "it has a very basic flight computer. I've hacked in and slaved the TARDIS. Wherever it's going, so do we."
"Is that safe?" Olivia asked.
"Totally," the Doctor said, but when he pressed a button underneath him, which exploded, Rose lifted an eyebrow.
"You were saying?" She inquired.
"Reasonably. I should have said "reasonably" there," he corrected himself. He then took another look at the computer, and cried out in annoyance. "Oh, no, no, no! It's jumping time tracks, getting away from us!"
"What is this thing anyway?" Rose asked.
"Absolutely no idea," the Doctor said.
"Really? You've been around for centuries, and you don't know what this is?" Olivia asked.
He shook his head, just as Rose asked, "So, why are we chasing it?"
"It's mauve, and dangerous. Not to mention, it's about 30 seconds from the centre of London," he said, with a serious look on his face.
PAGE BREAK
The TARDIS door opened, and out stepped the Doctor, followed by Rose, then Olivia, and lastly, Sapphire. Sapphire was wearing a dark blue dress, with a black trench coat over top, nylon stockings, short black heels, and was currently chewing a piece of gum quietly.
"Are you chewing gum, Sapphire?" Olivia asked.
"Yes, do you want some? There's plenty in my trench coat," she smiled, watching her breath come out of her mouth like smoke.
"What flavour?"
"Raspberry," Sapphire said, and handed her some.
"Do you have any inkling on how long we can knock around space without having to bump into earth?" the Doctor asked.
"Five days? Or is that when we're out of milk?" Rose said.
"All the species in the universe, and it comes out of a cow," he said.
"Clearly you've never had goat's milk. It's good," Sapphire smiled.
The Doctor gave her a smile, which widened even more when she added, "I just love travelling, and with you, we could go anywhere."
"Almost anywhere," he agreed. "Anyway, that object we were following has come down quite close, within a mile at least, and it couldn't have more than a few weeks ago, or a month at most."
"A month!? We were right behind it!" Rose exclaimed.
"Jump time tracks, and you're bound to be a little bit out, or maybe even a year," Sapphire said pointedly.
"Exactly my point, do you wanna drive?" He asked.
"Yeah!" Rose and Sapphire said in unison; Rose not meaning it but Sapphire did.
He chuckled again.
"So, how much is a little?" Olivia asked.
"A bit." The Doctor responded.
"Is that exactly a bit?" Rose asked, just as Olivia got a sudden feeling like the four of them were being watched. She glanced around her and behind her, but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Sapphire had a similar feeling, like she knew where she was, but was unable to formulate the thought into words.
"Ish," the Doctor continued as the two caught with them.
"So, what's the plan then. You going to do a scan for alien tech or something?" Rose asked.
"No. Rose, it hit the middle of London with a very loud bang. I'm going to ask instead," he replied, and held out his psychic paper. Sapphire looked at it eagerly. "Doctor John Smith, Ministry of Asteroids?" She asked, vaguely amused.
"It's Psychic Paper. It tells you what you want it to," he said, as Rose scoffed. "Be that as it may, it's not very Spock."
"Spock?" Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow. "We're goodness knows where, and you're worried about Star Wars?"
"Spock is Star Trek!" Rose said, looking highly offended.
Sapphire laughed at the look on Rose's face, just as the Doctor came to a door reading "Staff Only."
"There we are. Door. Music. People. What do you think?" He asked.
"I think, "for once would it kill ya to give me some Spock!?"" Rose said indignantly.
He looked at her. "Are you sure about that T-Shirt?" He asked. Sapphire and Olivia looked at it, too. Emblazoned on Rose's shirt was the Union Jack.
"Classy," Sapphire chuckled, and Rose looked at her.
"It's great, that's all," Sapphire said.
Turning back to the Doctor, Rose said, "Too early to say, I'm taking it out for a spin."
"I see," he said, before using the sonic screwdriver to unlock the door. Sapphire watched him, fascinated. Doctor Who had always been her favourite show by far, and to see it happening for real in front of her was "Fantastic!" to say the least.
So absorbed was she that she didn't hear a child's voice call out: "Mummy?" Though both Olivia and Rose did, and looked around, just as the Doctor managed to open the door, and Sapphire followed him. "Come on if you're coming. It won't take a minute," he called, as he looked behind him.
Rose and Olivia ignored him, trying to spot the child, when finally, Olivia's eyes rested on a small figure standing on a roof above them. It was a little boy, who, for some reason, was wearing a gasmask. She shuddered; they were so ugly and creepy, but necessary.
"Doctor! Sapphire!" Rose called urgently, but the two had already disappeared inside.
"Guess we're on our own with this one," Olivia said, and they began to climb the stairs, hoping that they'd be able to help the little boy down from the roof.
Meanwhile, inside, the Doctor and Sapphire made their way down a dimly lit hall, through a curtain of beads, and found themselves in a crowded drinking den. Men and women were chatting, drinking, and smoking away on cigarettes.
"Don't think this is the 21st century," Sapphire said quietly.
"Probably not," the Doctor agreed, and Sapphire sat down at a table next to a young woman with bright auburn hair and eyes as green as emeralds. She was wearing a light blue dress, a long tan trench, and a pair of black heels. Sapphire smiled at her, and the young woman beside her offered her a bowl of peanuts.
"For nobody else gave me the thrill," a woman sang on a small platform. Sapphire hummed along as she sang, "When I have found I love you still. It had to be you, wonderful you..."
Back outside, Olivia and Rose were still climbing, hoping to reach the little boy, still wearing a gasmask.
"Are you alright up there?" Olivia called.
"Mummy?" The child called back.
The two climbed further up.
Back inside the den, with "It had to be you," the woman on the platform finished her song. Sapphire broke into applause with everyone else, and so did the Doctor as he made his way towards the stage.
"Good evening, everyone," he said into the microphone, and everyone stared at him. A few people mumbled, but that was about it. Even Sapphire was a little confused about what he was doing.
Tough crowd, the Doctor thought, then said, "Listen. This may seem like a very stupid question, but has anything fallen from the sky here recently?"
The woman beside Sapphire smiled tightly. "He's right. It is a very stupid question," she said loud enough for Sapphire to hear her. Sapphire scowled at her.
After a few moments, the rest of the audience burst out laughing. The auburn-haired woman beside Sapphire gave an eye roll, and Sapphire looked at her in confusion.
Back outside, Olivia and Rose had finished climbing the stairs, but then realised that they didn't go all the way to the roof.
"Mummy?" He called down from where he was standing rather precariously on the roof.
"Hold on, and don't move," Olivia called up, just as something lightly smacked her in the face. Startled, Olivia looked to see a rope dangling in front of her face. Rose had seen it, too, and had grabbed it.
Back inside, the audience were still laughing at the Doctor's comment, and when he said "Sorry, have I said something funny?" they only laughed harder.
"It's just that there's this thing I need to find," he began and a siren went off. To Sapphire, whose father worked for the LVFD, it sounded like a fire alarm. But if it was a fire alarm, then why was everyone trying to evacuate the drinking den as fast as they could?
"Come on, we're off to the air raid shelter," the woman beside Sapphire said.
"Air raid shelter?" She asked.
"Yes," she said, and pointed at something tapped to the wall. Sapphire took one look, and groaned in annoyance.
Did we really have to end up here? Sapphire thought, and ran back to the Doctor.
"It would have landed quite near here," he said, and Sapphire lightly hit him to get his attention as he added "With a very loud..."
"LOOK!" Sapphire yelled and pointed at a poster. The Doctor looked, and when he saw that it read "HITLER WILL SEND NO WARNING" he closed his eyes in annoyance.
"Bang," he said in realisation.