A/N In which the writer reconnects with her roots a bit and makes something for Sucy. Happy Bday Sucy! Also, Happy New Year! See ya in 2019! I have a lot of plans for next year :)
Kilig.
Sucy was aware of the term growing up, you had to be when you were at one point, surrounded by an army of siblings all looking for advice from their first available Ate. A fool's mistake really, Sucy didn't know the term herself but used their own disadvantages to convince that it was a plague that attracted Aswang, a horrible flesh-eating monster and that she alone knew the cure. So for a short moment, she had a bunch of new test subjects and her siblings got a new terrifying bonding memory with their older sister in a quest to get rid of this 'Kilig'. Her parent Ramza was the one to explain it to her after getting caught whilst her other kuyas and ates tried to calm the masses.
"Kilig, Anak." She mused, eyes on her potion, the term Anak ringing in Sucy's mind with an eye roll. She was no longer a child yet Ramza always uses the term no matter the age. "Is a feeling. It is the excitement throughout our bodies when placed in the various romantic situation." Sucy scoffed at the explanation, of course, everything had to link to love like several things in the culture, even the most interesting much to her dismay.
Ramza heard her cough and gave Sucy a look. Sucy tried to ignore it but she couldn't help but let her body stiffened out of respect. Then after a moment, Ramza sighed and looked down, Sucy relaxed in turn as Ramza turned back to her. "I understand your qualms with love Anak but do not mock at such a term. It is special. Its words cannot be translated exactly in English." Ramza paused, a motherly glint in her eyes and Sucy looked away. "Who knows, maybe in the future you would understand how special the word is."
When the young Sucy scoffed again, though mentally as her eyes glared elsewhere, Ramza didn't comment on it and she let Sucy go to do her punishment chores. Sucy herself forgot the term, she heard it every now and then but her young siblings knew better now and not bother her with it. Often warning the bunso, the youngest and often newest wandering child Ramza plucked from the streets or jungle, not to talk to her about kilig and romantic ventures unless they desired to be the new lab rat.
So Sucy lived in quiet peace, free to be away from things such as romantic love and kilig. At least until she met Akko.
She didn't feel it at first, on first impressions she had annoyance and disdain opposed to excitement, then again the moment wasn't exactly romantic, was it? It only became special and warming over time, when Sucy found herself harder to be away from Akko - to the point where she became so used to her constant interference and meddling that it was jarring when she wasn't around.
And besides, opposed to whatever happened in her head in their first year, there weren't many romantic situations between them. Also whatever classed as romantic situations were nothing but a plausible technicality, they weren't ones that caused excitement as if Sucy was capable of creating such an intense feeling.
But sometimes, moments rare as the solace of peace that could surround Akko when she's not asleep, Sucy felt something.
It came at the resigned sigh that morphed to a hidden subtle smile when Akko impulsively hugged her, the avoidance of eye contact when their fingers brushed against each other, in a simple act of handing over the needed ingredients. It came at the sullen covers of the night when Sucy would hesitate her usual poisonings and stare at the way flickering candlelight highlighted the softness of Akko's cheek, the plumpness of her lips and the way her bang cascaded over her the tips of her brows.
In those moments, excitement was a flicker. A sudden heartbeat, a rise in pulse and heat against her cheeks. It was the look away, the thick grumble rising in her chest when Akko smiled more brightly than usual. The scowl more directed at herself than the cute person in front of her begging for help to clean up her latest antics.
In those moments, Sucy remembered her culture, her language. She remembered the term she mocked long before, the one she didn't think she would have: Kilig- the way one would be excited or elated over romantic endeavours. They were small pulses but that was better than nothing. She never expected to feel said things, let alone understand it but then again- Who was Akko if not a girl who triumphed over expectations?
It's only later in the middle of their second year where things became more plausibly closer to the term kilig. Akko as she grew older, became more interesting to observe and stare at and somehow Sucy found that she was now more subdued, calmer than her first-year counterpart. When before she struggled with peace, she could now handle the silence of potion making. Often Sucy would catch her watching, intrigued with vigilant beautiful red eyes and her heart would race a bit faster.
"Why are you staring Akko?"
"Hmm?"
"You're staring, it's off-putting." The blunt lie was marked by a subtle twitch of her hands when Akko flayed her hands around in an apology.
"Sorry! I just thought you wanted some company! Also, it looked cool! But I-uhh I'll leave if you want me to."
"No." The denial came quick, it's word absolute and both girls blinked in surprise before Sucy glanced at her before focusing on her work. "Just... just stay quiet please." If Akko looked closely, and she did despite not calling it out, Sucy's cheeks were dusted with pink. If Sucy dared to look, a bigger fraction of the emotion would form at the sight of Akko's mirroring flushed cheeks.
It's only late Summer when Sucy finally understood the term. Akko asked her out, surprisingly and she said yes, surprisingly. The date itself was not close to what a kilig was, the aftermath was.
Akko in spite of her endearing clumsiness and antics was very observant when she wanted to be, that being said she still went on tangents as they walked around blytonbury. Not that Sucy minded, she grew fond of Akko's many talks about several things, she even made comments here and there, she even made Akko laugh (and she treasured the sound, the way her eyes shut as she laughed, the blush on her soft cheeks). Anyways the date was simple as it was sweet. The plan was for them to walk around Blytonbury with Sucy picking up and observing random shrooms from the ground. Akko was allowed to hold her hand and was allowed to drag Sucy to places that caught her attention as long as she wasn't in the middle of picking. It wasn't planned, it was very in the moment and it was extremely Akko. Sucy loved every bit of it. But the best bit was when they walked back.
They walked side to side, arms intertwined as the other free arm carried something. Akko carried the stuff she bought from town and Sucy carried a basket of mushrooms. Akko was in mid-ramble, talking about the day and her voice was slower than before, weighed down by fatigue, she was mainly talking about the sky and the colours. The sky was a mix of amber, bronze and hints of purple and gold. If Sucy didn't stare at Akko so much, she would've thought the sky was the beautiful thing around. But she did focus on Akko at least, so she noticed the slight changes to her demeanour, the slowness of her words, the way her eyes flickered in recognition. It's only when they stopped walking and Sucy made attention to the world around her she figured out why.
They were on the bridge, the same stone bridge where they met over a year and a bit ago. The same one where they first met, the same one Sucy pictured over and over again in her head, playing like a movie. A silence fell between them, it was comfortable but there was something there. A tension of some sort, an invisible string urging to be pulled, a silent symphony waiting to reach its peak. It gave Sucy an urgency to speak, her heart beginning to race.
"This is where we first met," she whispered, a quick obvious way to start a needed conversation. From what would happen now Sucy didn't know, she was on a date with Akko after all, the future would never be clear when you were with her. It was always flexible, ever-changing.
"Yeah..." Akko whispered back, voice as distant as her eyes as she stared beyond the horizon. She walked to the edge of the bridge, dropped her bag, hands touched the texture of stone railings. Sucy followed her, even dropping her bag of mushrooms on the ground as she stood next to her. Her one eye again was on her opposed to the beautiful sunset in the distance. "Did you-" There's a blush on Akko's cheeks now, it almost seemed to glow on her with the sunlight- which made sense, everything about her seemed to glow. "Did you ever think about us back then? That we would be like this?"
Akko turned to Sucy now and there's a breath trapped in Sucy's throat. A breeze picked up midway through Akko's words and it brushed her hair back as she looked at Sucy. Her blush burns now in ethereal light, there's a mystical gleam in her red eyes, almost like the magic she pulled to save the world. It killed the breath in Sucy's throat, buried it within her lungs as she looked away to remember how to breathe. She too is burning, she could feel the heat against her pale skin.
"I thought you were an idiot back then," Sucy laughed as her eye peered down on the water, carefully watching Akko's reflected expressions. Akko stayed calm, eyes blinking every now and then so Sucy continued. "I still think you are."
"Hey!"
Sucy chuckled as she turned to Akko, a smile on her face. "Back then I thought you would be interesting to mess around with, potion wise. I didn't expect this, I didn't expect you." She stopped leaning against the wall and walked over to Akko and placed one hand on her cheek, thumb rubbing slowly against the softness. There's a beating fervour in her chest now, it sounded like drums. "If I went back to the past and told myself about this she would poison me and avoid you but don't worry about her." Sucy was now hovering above her lips, her lips tingle with the exhaling gasp, from Akko, Sucy's own grin widened to a smirk as she leaned in. "You would blow her away anyways."
That was the moment Sucy felt it. With both of her hands pressing against Akko's cheeks, lips pressed fiercely against the other as Akko wrapped her arms around her neck, smiling into the kisses. This was the cultural expression Sucy grew up around, grew up hearing about but not expressing it, until now. This was the elation, the exhilaration, the excitement pounding in her blood. This was not butterflies, the touch of flying, this was not heart stopping or heartbeat skipping. This was the feeling the English couldn't transcribe exactly, this was Kilig.
And by the nine was it special, it was almost as special as the girl kissing her.