Helping Out by Chibiness87
Rating: T
Pairing: Wedges
Spoilers: Lab Rats; Chick Chop Flick Shop
Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: This is in response to a request for a sequel to Concerning the Ego from Hodges POV… Hodges mind is a SCARY place to be… Not beta'd.

OK, first of all, in my defence, I didn't start the conversation topic. It was her… what's her name? Newbie on Swing… but not in that Zach Braff, way or hyper Sanders way. Lake. Yeah. Totally her fault. And Simms was only defending herself… I was just trying to help her out. I am not a pervert.

I mean, it's not like she uses her… assets… like other members of the female population… I'm referring here of course to Ice-queen "My boobs want answers yesterday" Catherine. And now that my dear friend Gil has succumbed to Miss Sidle's, uh, charms, (What? I am a guy… and Sara is kinda cute… so if it wasn't to be me at least it's her he fell for,) they're off the market.

Not that I was looking at them either. I mean, yeah, we could have made a cute couple, but well, he's in love with Sara. I know when I've been beat.

So, Wendy Simms. Kind of a neat freak, likes things done in certain ways, likes to be in charge, (and man, does that have possibilities. Not that I'm into that…) and she's also hot. Really hot. Again, I want to point out here that I am not a pervert, I am just a warm blooded male with all my, uh, parts in working order, no matter what that twerp Sanders has been saying.

Yes, I may have noticed Simms; it's not like we're all that far from each other at work… her lab is right next to mine. And if I'm sitting and she's standing and facing my lab, well, her chest is just at the right height. Wait. That came out wrong. I meant the resulting height difference puts me eye-level with her chest. It's not that I spend hours looking at her, not really. I have better things to do with my time than look at her chest, think about her chest and well, anything else with her chest.

But when little miss "I'm new and have opinions on everything" speaks up and basically calls Simms a bimbo with huge boobs, I can understand why she's a little upset. (Simms, not Lake.) She (Simms) is not a bimbo, blonde or otherwise. Not that she's blonde (in any sense of the word; she's one of the smartest people I know, after the obvious.)

Anyway, I'm thinking of her intelligence, not her appearance. But apparently the female brain is not concerned about the intelligence factor, but the physical factor. I guess it must be something similar to calling a guy on the size of his penis or something. Whatever. All I know is Simms, Wendy, is defending her figure.

"Mine are kind of… medium."

"But perfect."

I amHelping! I am not stating I have ogled her from afar for years. But judging by the looks I'm getting from the people in the room with us, they don't agree with my point of view here. So I now need to dig myself out of this hole before someone decided to bring up sexual harassment charges.

"…ly adequate. Better, in fact."

There. That should cover my ass. I hope. I chance a glance at Sara at this point… Gil would understand me here, I'm sure, but as he's not in the room right now, I'm going to settle for someone who must be able to understand him a little if they're together and all. But she bails on me.

I hope there aren't going to be any rumours about this little, uh, incident, spreading around the lab. They always get blown way out of proportion. I mean, I heard the other day that Sara and Gil got engaged… like anyone would believe those two would talk marriage. Ha!

So, no rumours would be a good thing. Because then Gil may be forced to move one of us to another shift or something. And as much as I don't want to be moved, (because, let's face it, Gil and I are likethis,) and moving would totally disrupt our dynamic intellectual understanding of each other, I don't want Simms moved either.

After all, she hasn't done anything. It would be unfair. And as much as she can be a right royal pain in the butt at times, and impulsive, and using my cell to call a known serial killer, (oh, don't think I've forgotten about that!) I'm not that vindictive.

Just because I mentioned she has a perfect chest, (because well, she does!), does not mean I'm attracted to her. And that thing a few months ago? The cell phone thing? That was annoying. And the petty arguments in the hall? Annoying too. Not cute. Nope. Not at all. I amnot attracted to Simms. I'm NOT. Really.

Well, ok… maybe a little.

But I can totally deal with that.

And the odd chance I get to ogle her from my lab? Well, they just make the night that much more interesting.

End.