Everything Better Plan
This is super weird and I'm not sure if I'm overly fond. Written as an immediate aftermath to Mars Landing, just slightly tweaked and edited now that I've kicked my lazy self into gear. This style isn't something I'm used to at all and you may completely hate it, my Jess is super out of character but this is looking a few years down the line so give me creative licence. Extremely gloomy, but I was and still am very sad.
Musical inspiration this episode comes from Future by Paramore. I'd recommend listening to it whilst reading.
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine. The title is also from an All Time Low song. Oops.
X
She has the wedding. A big white beautiful wedding with cupcakes swirled with white frosting and tied with glossy pink ribbon. Her dress is twined with pearls and they're twined around her wrists and her neck and even her hair like a meadow bursting with snowdrops. It is a fresh Spring morning in Portland and she sits in front of an ornate mirror staring at this person she was becoming. If she squints, it's almost like someone else. Cece's hands are soft in her hair, so soft she could barely feel them as she twists the strands into an elaborate hairstyle. And Jess smiles.
Her Dad says she's beautiful.
Her Mother cries.
The man waiting at the end of the aisle for her is faceless, but when he kisses her it tastes warm. It's enough. She thinks of the future, and allows a tear she calls joy to roll down her cheek.
x
She gets the house. It's set against the backdrop of the beautiful green of Portland and she hums to herself as she dries the dishes and watches the sun sink into the earth. He kisses her cheek when he comes home from a job that she forgets the name of and it feels warm. She smiles.
In the evenings she sips hot tea and sews by the warmth of their crackling fire. Sometimes, she pricks her finger and waits for the pain. It never comes.
x
"I'm worried about you, Jess."
"Why Cece? I'm fine."
"But are you happy?"
Silence.
"Jess, are you happy?"
"Yes, Cece. I'm happy."
There's a snuffling noise at the end of the line as Cece cries. She does that a lot now.
"I miss you, Jess."
Jess opens her mouth and closes it. She thinks of the future, and smiles.
X
Her husband kisses her and sighs her name into her mouth.
She kisses him and drowns herself in Nick.
X
They visit her, once. Jess hadn't really kept contact with the guys since she left LA: she tells herself it was accidental, but the rejected phonecalls and balled up letters say otherwise. As luck would have it however, Schmidt gets called on a business meeting and through careful negotiation on Cece's behalf ("They miss you, Jess. We all miss you.") she's at the airport early one Sunday morning waiting for flight 182 to arrive from LA.
Schmidt appears first, all smiles and expensive aftershave as he rushes and kisses her on the cheek with such force he nearly knocks her off her feet. Winston follows with a grin pulling at the side of his mouth, Coach alongside him hand in hand with Cece.
They all smush her into a hug and tell her how well she's looking and oh, how long it's been. Jess balls her eyes up tight as love fills her up, her guys, her wonderful guys oozing like frosting into all her cracks. Tears prick her eyes and she refuses to think of him. She thinks of the future, and smiles.
X
It's like the scene from a movie. Her husband's silhouette is highlighted by the crackling fire, his warm laugh reverberating around the walls. Schmidt and Winston and Coach sit opposite him on the coach, at ease and smiling. When Jess was a kid, her favourite game was the one where you would draw the head of a monster, fold it over, then pass the paper over to someone else to draw the body.
It used to irk Jess that the lines would never quite meet at the join.
X
When they say goodbye, Schmidt catches her arm.
"He misses you, Jess." It's in a tone that's far too serious for Schmidt and it unsettles her.
Her husband twines his arm around her waist as they wave at her old friends as they make their way through the airport gate.
"Your friends are great, Jess. They should visit more often." Jess nods weakly and wraps her arms around herself, tucking her hands into her coat pocket. There's a weight that wasn't there before, and her brow furrows. The edges of a coin bite into her skin as she gasps quietly, just as Schmidt casts a glance back over his shoulder.
Jess puts the coin into a charity box as she leaves. She thinks of the future, and smiles.
X
Jess wakes with a start, cold sweat drenching her. The dream thrums through her veins, the subtly pounding madness bruising her eyelids. Nick's arms find her like an instinct, drawing her to him.
She smiles, and thinks of the future.
"You." She whispers, tilting her head and kissing the underside of his chin.