Foreign Affairs
Chapter 1
Athrun Zala sat anxiously at his desk, awaiting for all the students to arrive and for class to begin. He had heard a foreign student would be attending this year. Athrun was very eager to learn who this person was and what they were like. Places outside of his own country always intrigued Athrun, and this was a chance to actually meet someone who had been there. A warning bell rang, and the loud voices of students rushing to their desks quieted Athrun's thoughts. He looked around cautiously so as to not draw attention to himself. He wanted to see who the new kid was.
But his attention was quickly pulled away to the teacher, who now stood at in front her desk with a new student standing next to her.
Chapter 2
Golly gee wizz! That must be the new student, Athrun thought to himself.
"Hello class," Ms. Vesti spoke in an oddly low bass voice. "I'm sure you are all aware, but this our new student. He's a foreign exchange student. I would say where he hails from, but I don't want to offend anybody in the auduience.
Athrun shook his head. Ms. Vesti was always going on about some "audience", for some unknown reason. Athrun was sure Ms Vesti must be a rational human being despite this flaw though. Athrun took comfort from the fact that his hair was blue.
"Anyways, say hello, Kira," Ms Vesti asserted.
"Glrronorro norswal!" Kira belted out as happy as could be. His face was brimming with joy, a ridiculously sunny expression of bliss on his face and aura. His aura was purple by the way.
"I'm afraid he can't speak English or understand it, but I'm sure he'll somehow manage to pass this class," Ms. Vesti informed the gathering of education hungry students. The rest of class was a rush of business, glue, and raw macaroni. Soon Athrun found himself standing around Kira's desk with his friends, long after Big Ben had struck 2:00 am.
Chapter 3
Among Athrun's friends were Dearka, Tolle, and Sebastian their pet crab. But to call Tolle a friend was extremely generous and even fairly unnecessary. To call Sebastian a pet was doubly so. He was practically human, with the ability to sing and dance, and even assemble the king's court for important meetings of state. But Dearka insisted he was their pet all the same.
And so the awkward socializing began.
"Haha, you are so stupid cause you can't speak German!" Tolle mocked the foreign teenager.
"Neither can you, moron," Dearka shot at Tolle.
"Yes 'um!" Tolle retorted. "Weinershnitzel!"
"That is so racist," Athrun sighed. "You know, they have a special place in hell for people like you."
"Good, cause I don't want to run into you dweebs down there," Tolle calculatingly shot back. He folded his arms and aimed his nose at the sky, proud of his oratory skills. Athrun felt a single drop of sweat run down his face, a drop born of the hatred for people that hate. He licked off the sweat drop and considered it no more.
"Klass ass dass mass," Kira chirped. Athrun couldn't help but smile. Thankfully, it seemed Tolle's misaimed words had not penetrated Kira's fragile mind.
"Man, I am totally on the same page as you, my bro!" Dearka exclaimed. Kira's hand was unprepared for a buddy hand shake, but Dearka grabbed it and proceeded to perform said buddy hand shake. This lasted what seemed hours to Athrun, though in fact Dearka merely did the hand shake for 30 minutes.
Chapter 4
"Orson snor or tor?" Kira verbalized his questions. Athrun and Dearka could only look at each other awkwardly.
"Maybe he's hungry?" Dearka suggested. He turned to Kira. "Are you hungry, boy? Hun-ger-ree?" Dearka unintentionally patronized the young foreign child. Kira blew a large bubble with the gum Athrun had failed to notice Kira chewing for the last 20 hours. The bubble expanded and expanded, till it could expand no more. Its sticky outer surface adhered to Dearka's face. But instead of causing discomfort, Dearka had this to say:
"This tickles!" he giggled cutely. The bubble finally exploded with a ear crushing, exploding explosion, causing everyone, even Sebastian who had no ears, to cringe. A fire quickly started and grew to dangerous levels, forcing the young lads to escape. They formed a human ladder with Kira at the top. They all watched in hot anticipation, as Sebastian cautiously scaled each of their bodies on his ascent to the top. The crab finally made it all the way up, but hesitated.
"What are you doing Sebastian!" Tolle cried. Never had Athrun seen Tolle shed a tear, not even when his own family abandoned him at Sea World. But now, Tolle wept sweet manly tears, drenching his red silk shirt.
"Good by cruel world!" Sebastian yelled to the heavens. He dived from atop Kira's beautiful downy soft hair, downwards towards the hard oven baked brick floor of the basketball court. But Kira shot his hand out and caught the crab with his extremely masculine hand and fingers. Sebastian gasped, his life passing before him, the flames all around them reinvigorating his love for life!
Chapter 5
"We gonna get outta here now!" Sebastian declared. He made sure Kira's grip was taught. It was. And then, in one single bound, Sebastian carried all four young men straight through the straw ceiling of the school gym, into the blood red skies, and finally a soft landing upon the roof of Bed Bath and Beyond. The men disembarked and each expressed their feelings of elation in their own special way.
"Universe!" Athrun cried out.
"Hursta nur rassa fassa!" Kira sang to his native gods in his native tongue.
Tolle ran in place.
Dearka played his accordian.
And Sebastian smoked a small bubble pipe.
"I hope this has all taught you a valuable lesson, my friends," Kira spoke in their language, but in an angelic voice. "Because you were kind to me, I will grant you all one wish. Please consider this carefully," Kira wisely advised in his sage intelligence.
Dearka, Sebastian, and Tolle all huddled together. But Athrun strode forward, determined to determine his own determined wish.
"I wish that me and my friends could be together forever," Athrun determined aloud. Kira smiled.
"I thought as much," Kira laughed gently, his soft heavenly voice echoing in the hearts of his friends.
"But that's not what we wanted!" Tolle cried. Kira only smiled more, and he waved his arm in a magical gesture.
Chapter 6
342,890,075 years later.
Four specks of dust sat together, observing the comings and going of the universe. Their "lives", if you could call it that, had become one of constant shifting in the wind. But they would be together, forever.
"Gee, I wish Sebastian was here with us," Dearka as a speck of dust spoke. Athrun nodded his speck of dust body in agreement. Tolle sighed with his speck of dust body. Kira shrugged his angelic speck of dust body.
"Why didn't you let Sebastian come with us, Kira?" Athrun asked.
"Because he wasn't a human," Kira simply explained.
"That is so racist."
THE END