D.W.'S AWFUL CHRISTMAS
By Wile_E2005
Adapted from Arthur's Perfect Christmas by Peter K. Hirsch and Marc Brown; I do now own these characters.
The sun was rising over a mostly-still Elwood City. Usually it would be any other day, but something was different. It was Christmas morning! It was as if triumphant, epic music was accompanying the 7 AM sunrise…
In the Read household, 4-year-old Dora Winifred Read was sleeping. But then she awoke, like she usually would around that time, but she immediately knew what today was…
"IT'S…" D.W. stammered, sitting up in bed, "…it's… Christmas!"
All D.W. cared about was that she'd be getting lots of great presents for Christmas, including the one toy she wanted the most: Tina the Talking Tabby, a popular talking cat doll. She didn't care about the true meaning of the holidays, or her father's Christmas dinner or her relatives being over. All she cared about were presents, presents and more presents!
She leaped out of bed, running around the entire second floor shouting, "WAKE UP EVERYONE, IT'S CHRISTMAS!" She bounded into Arthur's room and shook him. "ARTHUR WAKE UP, IT'S CHRISTMAS, IT'S CHRISTMAS!"
"Huh?" Arthur asked. Once he was aware of what was going on, he said, "D.W., I'm trying to sleep in! GET OUT OF HERE!"
So she did, running into Mom and Dad's bedroom. "MOMMY, DADDY, CHRISTMAS IS HERE! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" She then ran out of the room, calling, "TIME TO OPEN THE PRESENTS! TIME TO…"
"SHUT UP, D.W.!" Arthur screamed from his room.
D.W. stopped. Then she noticed someone was in the bathroom. She was already asleep the night before, when their Uncle Fred arrived after his truck broke down on his way to Florida, so she had no idea Uncle Fred was staying with them, having arrived around 9 PM, a short while after Grandma Thora and Grandpa Dave arrived, and they and the kids went to bed.
D.W. peeked into the open bathroom door, and saw a large figure in red. She figured that it could possibly be Santa Claus, and she gasped and moaned in awe…
Inside the bathroom, Uncle Fred, in his red flannel pajamas, was ready to shave his face. The way he applied the shaving cream made it look like Santa Claus's large white beard. But right before he could start shaving, he saw D.W. in the mirror, and turned around to greet her. "Ho-ho, well hello there!" he said.
D.W. gasped in awe again and ran off to show her dad that Santa was visiting their house! The "beard" and his "Ho-ho" seemed to be the clinchers for her.
Uncle Fred just shrugged it off and began to shave his real beard stubble underneath the shaving cream, but of course due to his clumsiness, he cut his cheek while doing so. "Ow!" He then fumbled for some tissue to slow down the bleeding…
D.W. ran back into the parent's room and pulled Dad out of bed, claiming that she saw Santa Claus in the bathroom. As she was, Uncle Fred was leaving the bathroom with more bits of tissue on his face and a bathrobe over his pajamas, and at the same time, Arthur was heading into the bathroom, now with his glasses on. He shut the door.
"Santa's in our bathroom, Daddy," D.W. was telling her father, pulling him to the bathroom door. "He has a big white beard, and a red suit, and it was really, really him!"
Dad yawned. He knew it couldn't be. "All right, all right…" he moaned.
D.W. then knocked on the door and waited. "Santa?" she asked. "Are you through in there? I want you to meet my Dad!"
She did not realize that Arthur was in there brushing his teeth, and then walking over to the toilet, raising the seat and about to "go."
Dad yawned and stretched out again, beginning to have minimal patience. D.W., still excited as ever, said "I think Santa's a little hard-of-hearing," and opened the door.
D.W. sure did get a surprise when she opened the door. She saw Arthur peeing into the toilet. She had never seen how males used the toilet before, and to her it was not the right time and place to do so!
It wasn't the right time and place for Arthur, either. He gasped, and then screamed the same way he would after a nightmare. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAH!" A wide-eyed D.W. quickly slammed the door. "Can't a kid get any privacy around here?" Arthur said from behind the bathroom door.
"OOPS! SORRY!" D.W. called. She laughed nervously as Dad glared at her.
"D.W.," Dad said through gritted teeth, "Please wait in your room until all the rest of us are awake and ready to open the presents."
D.W. sighed and pouted a bit, but she went back into her room anyways. She knew that Tina the Talking Tabby would save the day for her…
…
Some time later, the whole family was downstairs and awake in the living room, socializing a bit, and D.W. checking out the unopened presents with Arthur. She was explaining to him for the third time why she opened the bathroom door on him.
"I'm TELLING you," she said. "It WAS Santa in the bathroom."
"It was probably just Uncle Fred," Arthur said, smiling and pointing toward Uncle Fred, playing with their baby sister Kate.
"Since when does Uncle Fred have a white beard?" D.W. asked. Not even Arthur believed her.
"Well, why would Santa be here in the morning?" Arthur asked. "He does all his work at night." He didn't care very much for Santa like D.W. did.
"He was running a little late," D.W. said, "probably because you wrote my first wish list ALL WRONG." No matter how many times Arthur would explain the truth that he wrote exactly what D.W. told him, she still wouldn't believe him, and thought he sabotaged her wish list.
They were about to get into an argument when Dad tapped his mug full of ground bark coffee with his spoon and cleared his throat. He announced, "Attention, everyone! I think it's time we got started on opening those presents!"
"FINALLY," D.W. said. She couldn't wait any longer. To her, it was all about the presents. Anything afterward was unimportant to her. She began to reach for a large package, wrapped with blue candy-cane-print wrapping paper and a red ribbon and labeled to her. She already somewhat had a feeling on what was in it…
"Wait a minute!" Arthur interrupted. "I'll be right back. Don't start without me!" He ran upstairs to get his present he prepared for Mom.
D.W. couldn't believe it! She had to wait even MORE. She just froze, her hand trembling on the red ribbon, and held back the urge to whine.
…
Four minutes later, D.W. continued to slightly tug on the ribbon. It felt like a long time to her. "This is… torture!" she said dramatically. "Can't… wait… much… longer…. Where's Arthur?!"
Surprisingly, Mom did not seem annoyed at her. "He DID say he'd be down in just a minute."
Uncle Fred passed the giggling Bay Kate to Grandma Thora. "I'll go see what's taking him," he said, walking out of the room and heading upstairs.
D.W. just went back to poking around at the big blue present. After a short while, she decided to save that one for last, instead going for the other presents first once the inevitable came.
…
Uncle Fred and Arthur came back down a few minutes later. All D.W. cared about was that she was now happy she could open her presents at last! Arthur was in no rush, however. He was sitting on the sofa with Uncle Fred, looking a bit glum, but naturally, D.W. didn't care about that. D.W. had so far opened presents of a red-and-green unicorn plushie, a few pairs of pajamas and some socks, a Mary Moo-Cow Christmas-themed activity book, a Crazy Bus board game, and a striped pink blouse. To her, these were mostly OK, except for the pajamas and socks. And they would pale in comparison to Tina.
Meanwhile, Kate was playing with a Christmas box after Grandma Thora had taken the stuffed bunny out for her. Additionally, Dad opened a box containing a Veginator device that Arthur initially planned to buy, but was sold out at the mall. "Another Veginator!" Dad said. He put it down next to two identical Veginators, sardonically saying "Well, now I'll have a backup if these two break!"
Even their family dog Pal was enjoying his new squeeze ball. Uncle Fred's larger dog Rory came over with a bone he got, and wanted to give the bone to Pal in exchange for the ball. Pal gave Rory the ball, whom tried to catch it in his mouth, but instead just swallowed it. Pal whined a bit in disbelief.
D.W. was now finally at the last present for me. "I know what this must be!" she happily said, anticipating the moment. As she was unwrapping the box, Mom and Dad exchanged nervous glances. Mom's attempts a few days earlier to warn D.W. that she wasn't exactly good this year did not go over well, and now she was in for a disaster.
D.W. finally pulled back the last of the wrapping tissue saying "It's…" Her smile faded. "…a lump of coal?!" She pulled out the large black coal from the box. It was like the world had suddenly stopped around her.
"Oh, my…" Mom said, trying to cover up her nervousness. "It looks like you were a naughty girl this year, honey… at least it's something you could bring in for show-and-tell!"
"Can it say, 'Meow?'" D.W. asked, sounding a bit disappointed.
"Um… I'm afraid not," Mom said, now audibly tense, dreading about what was going to happen. "Are you upset?" she asked.
D.W. initially lied, "No…" But her lips quivered, and tears came to her eyes. She tried to hide her disappointment, and failed.
"I wanted Tina the Talking Tabby!" she cried out, dropping the lump of coal. Then she collapsed to the ground and began kicking her legs and banging her fists in a major tantrum. "I WANTED TINA THE TALKING TABBY!" she bawled. "I WANTED TINA FOR CHRISTMAAAAASSSS!" He screaming and crying was so loud you could hear it from outside! Arthur just wanted to disappear. Mom tried to console D.W., but it wasn't working.
D.W. sobbed, "Uhuhhh-huh-huuuuhhhh-I wanted Tabby! … SANTA, HOW COULD YOU?! THIS IS THE WORST CHRISTMAS EVERRRRR!" At that, she banged both fists down on the lump of coal, breaking it into smaller pieces. She wailed a bit more, and then ran upstairs to her room and slammed the door.
Mom and Dad both sighed. D.W. did not take it well. They had planned to get D.W. a Tina the Talking Tabby, but unfortunately all of the stores were sold out, and they figured a lump of coal would make D.W. realize she had been behaving very badly for the past year.
"I'll go up and talk to her," Uncle Fred said, preparing to get up from the sofa.
"Leave her," Mom said gloomily. "It's for the best…"
Arthur actually smiled. Maybe this would be a perfect Christmas after all, like he hoped. Sure, it may not have been a white Christmas, and D.W. may not have gotten the perfect gift, and his present for Mom had gone…
Wait, there was one more matter to settle. Arthur dreaded this too. But since Mom was already in a somewhat lousy mood thanks to D.W.'s tantrum, maybe she would go a bit easy on him.
"Mom…" Arthur began, but Uncle Fred came to the rescue, with one more present under the tree, to her from Arthur. It was the tea set that Uncle Fred stepped on and broke last year! Mom was already beginning to feel better, and then right on cue, the mechanic came with a tow truck, ready to repair Uncle Fred's broken-down truck.
"I guess miracles DO happen," Uncle Fred said, winking at Arthur.
Arthur just smiled. Maybe it was also a miracle that D.W. got what she deserved for a change…
…
D.W. did not come down for breakfast. Mom decided to make a breakfast casserole for the family, as she knew Dad would be preparing his authentic Jerusalem-style Christmas dinner. She called up, "D.W? We're having breakfast!"
No answer.
"D.W?" she called again.
Still nothing.
Mom walked upstairs and opened D.W.'s door, and found D.W. still crying on her bed. It had been 20 minutes now since the initial meltdown.
"Come on, D.W.," Mom said. "Come downstairs so we can have breakfast."
D.W. leaped off her bed and angrily said "NO! No I don't want to!" She picked up an old toy car and began to try playing with it. "Vroom, vroom, vrooooom!" she snarled sardonically, but then a wheel fell off.
"Silly ol' car!" she yelled. "Silly! Silly! Silly!" She threw it down on the ground and began lying down kicking her feet again. "I WANTED TINA THE TALKING TABBYYYYYYY!" she wailed.
Mom just shrugged, and left D.W. to her tantrum, shutting the door.
Back downstairs, Mom said, "D.W. still hasn't gotten over it."
"All because of a lump of coal?" Grandpa Dave asked.
"D.W. deserved a lump of coal," Arthur piped in, "because of all the bad stuff she's done to ME throughout the year."
"Be quiet, Arthur," Dad said.
…
After breakfast, Arthur and the adults all got dressed. Dad knocked on D.W.'s still-closed door.
"What?!" D.W. yelled. "I'm busy mourning here!"
"Mourning what?" Dad asked.
"Mourning Christmas!"
Dad opened the door and walked right in, to find D.W., still sobbing on her bed in her pajamas.
"You know, honey…" Dad said. "I know you didn't get that toy you wanted, but you got some other good stuff for Christmas… and the holiday is about more than just the presents."
"Yeah?" D.W. sniffled. "So what? That's just for grown-ups, not kids like me! Besides, I've been bad. I don't deserve those other stupid gifts!"
Dad just sighed again and began to leave the room. "Let's hope you feel better in a little while…"
He walked out and shut the door, but then D.W. opened it again and shouted, "I WON'T feel better in a while!" She slammed the door again, but then opened it once again to yell, "I won't, I won't, I WON'T!" Slam. Then she opened it yet again. "I WON'T!" Slam.
Arthur could hear the slamming from downstairs. He growled a bit.
…
Some time later, Arthur decided to check on D.W. It was time to have a talk with her. He walked right into her room without knocking.
"GET OUT!" D.W. screamed. "It's YOUR fault I didn't get Tina the Talking Tabby!"
"You didn't even get dressed yet?" Arthur asked. "It's almost noon."
"NO!" she hollered. "I don't WANT to get dressed! I'm staying in my room all day. Christmas is over for me, and it was a total disaster!"
Arthur sighed. "D.W…." he began.
"And DON'T give me any of that junk on how Christmas is more than presents," D.W. cried, "because Mommy and Daddy tried and it DIDN'T WORK!"
"Actually, D.W…." Arthur said, "I told you numerous times it WASN'T my fault you didn't get that talking tabby toy. You misbehaved quite a bit during the year."
"What makes you say that?" D.W. sobbed.
"Well," Arthur began to list off, "what about when Kate was first born, and you didn't like her and tried to blame her on bad things you were doing?"
"I didn't like Kate back then," D.W. said, still weepy.
"And there was accusing me and others of stealing that snowball of yours, which I DIDN'T DO," he added.
"How can you be so sure?" D.W. asked. "You're still the prime suspect!"
"Moving on," Arthur said, "there was the morning of Aunt Lucy's wedding when you kept pestering everyone and caused messes, and there was the incident at the restaurant with the spinach salad, your threatening to pinch Kate, playing 'Crazy Bus' nonstop around the house, your bad mood when you didn't get invited to that birthday party, setting off the smoke alarms at night, AND when you broke my model plane by throwing it out the window, which you DIDN'T get punished for!"
"OK, I admit it," D.W. said, "I have been a bad girl. I guess I didn't deserve Tina the Talking Tabby. Now just leave me alone for the rest of the day, Arthur!"
Back downstairs, Arthur told his parents about the talk he had with D.W. "And now she's wallowing in self-pity because she knows she's been bad!"
"At least it's not just about her not getting Tiny Tina now," Mom said to Dad. "I sure do hope that her behavior improves, at least before dinner."
…
D.W. did get dressed and come down for Christmas dinner, but she was still rather gloomy, and did not like the dinner very much. Arthur, on the other hand, wasn't initially feeling sorry for D.W. at all.
"I want to eat like this EVERY Christmas," Arthur said, enjoying his food. "Could you pass the dates, mom?"
"Not me," D.W. said. "This dinner was gross!"
"I LOVE this new olive de-pitter, Arthur," Dad said, popping out another olive pit using it. Rory caught the pit in his mouth and ate it.
D.W. just sniffled back some tears. Everyone got great presents except her.
…
Later that evening, the family was outside in the driveway as Grandpa Dave was getting ready to drive Uncle Fred and Rory to the garage, as his own truck was finally fixed. Only D.W. was not there; she was still in her room, feeling miserable.
"That was your present for mom, wasn't it?" Arthur was saying to Uncle Fred, regarding the tea set.
"Yeah," Fred said, "but it was a whole lot nicer coming from you."
"Thanks, Uncle Fred," Arthur said. "You were right. It turned out to be a pretty good Christmas after all."
"Remember Arthur," Fred told him, "you don't always get what you want in life. Sometimes, you get something better."
"Like with D.W. and her lump of coal?" Arthur asked.
"Not exactly…" Uncle Fred said.
"At least it will teach D.W. to behave much better!" Arthur chuckled.
But before Uncle Fred could reply, Grandpa Dave got in his own pickup and said, "All right, let's get you two down to the garage."
Rory barked, and Dave started the car.
"Good-bye!" Mom and Dad called in unison.
"Safe trip!" Grandma Thora said as Kate giggled.
D.W. opened up her window and called out, "Thank goodness you're leaving!"
Mom and Dad turned up to D.W., frowning.
...
So in the end, Arthur did turn out to have a great Christmas. It may not have been absolutely perfect, but he enjoyed it. The lack of D.W. really seemed to help as well. He secretly thought that regarding the whole "the thing you hope for isn't what you get, instead you get something better" thing applied to D.W. and her dreaded lump of coal, which was now burning in the fireplace.
THE END