A/N: I haven't wrote for awhile but slowly getting back into it. Book 7 kinda killed my whole Potter love so yeah...:( Damn Epilogue lol This was wrote when I was foolish enough to forget my key and had to climb over my fence to get into my back garden. Having nothing better to do I chose to write lol the angst partly comes from the fact that I was freezing and I'd had an arguement with my boyfriend lol. This is a oneshot I really don't plan on developing this story at all. If you have any questions about it's setting or anything like that just ask in a review and I'll tell you my take on it. Anyways your probably bored of my ramblings now if you haven't skipped them so yeah...Oh yeah this fic is set in an AU, books 6 and 7 don't exist in my head.

Disclaimer: No I don't own the Harry Potter universe. If I did do you really think the epilogue would exist as it does? And do you really think certain chars would die? It would be covered in nice little slash pairings and death of annoying characters not nice ones and even they'd have more meaningful deaths such as tripping over a shoe:)

Warnings: Slash, Rape, Torture, Char death, Suicide. Think thats it.

Foolishly

Abandoned by all in this, my last hour. The last hour to determine my fate, the last hour in which I shall perform my final deed.

I've always loved the outdoors, it's where I've had some of my happier moments but also where I've had some of my worst. Even so, some of those memories are still happier then those from inside.

At least outside I can always remember our first kiss, the first time I ever held you in my arms...how happy we were. What memories do I have from the inside? Other then the cold, heat of the metal as it bit into your flesh I can't recall anymore.

I wish there was some way I could have prevented it but...as always, I had no way to stop his atrocities. If only I'd come to my senses and saw what a fiend my master was before.

Those few years I first served under him, I was so happy. I thought I'd found my freedom at last, my calling. But it wasn't to be. My other master called to me and foolishly I went back to him. Stupidly I thought he would help me, that he was better. How wrong I was.

Now I see, I only had one master and that was you. You who was master of my heart. Both of my other masters promised me everything I wanted, my freedom and you. I admit now both had a hand in me finally claiming your heart, I guess...be it not in the way I expected.

Calmly I cast my eyes across the lake, I remember you saying you liked it here...that it brought you peace. Gods I miss you...it's only been hours but I feel like it's been days. Hell in a way I suppose its been months. If I were braver I suppose I'd carry that last memory of you inside me forever. I've never been brave or smart though. So now I shall take the foolish, coward's decision. I couldn't live with that memory, not after what I did.

Thinking back I regret almost every part of my life, there's only one part I don't. That's the part with you. I remember the first time you told me you loved me, easily the happiest and best memory I have. Slowly I begin to recall that night as I clutch the blade in my right hand and the last thing remaining I have of you in my left, right over my chest, right where my heart should be.

He chewed his lip nervously as he looked at me. A cute habit I noticed he had when he was scared of saying something to me. I reached over and stroked his cheek gently as I leaned forward and softly pressed my lips to his.

"You know you can tell me anything," I spoke gently in a voice reserved only for him, least anyone found out I actually have a caring side.

"It's well...I...um...I love you. I love you Severus." He said nervously and looked deep into my eyes willing me to see the truth.

"I love you too," I gasped as I pulled him into a big hug. My heart was full of joy as he had spoke the words I had longed to hear for so long. Slowly I broke the embrace as I cupped his cheek again. I looked deep into his eyes as I pressed our lips together. Gently as first, but then the burning heat of passion came over us and we be began to crush our lips together fiercely, tongues probing, hands roaming.

I broke the kiss causing you to moan but as you did I picked you up eliciting a gasp from you. "It's time I show you just what you mean to me," I smirked.

Slowly I open my eyes, breaking the memory as I recall when I had last spoke those words to you. You were bloody, beaten and there was an audience. Gods I'm sorry. If only things could have turned out differently. If only that sick bastard hadn't known, but foolishly I told him everything, as he pretended to be my friend and not my master.

The memory of our first time resurfaces in my mind, but now its tainted, tainted by what he caused me to do. I remember how I lay you down gently, slowly removing your clothing, showing you everything a good lover should be. Not like how you were as I started raping your body for him, drenched in blood and chained. Not even wearing rags.

My mind retreats back to the pleasant memory I have of us, as I slowly kiss down your chest. Nibbling on your nipples and slowly making my way down. I take you slowly into my mouth, teasing you, causing you to moan, as I like a sensitive area. Suddenly I plunge you fully into my mouth, causing you to gasp and arch your back, as you touch my throat.

"Severus!" You gasp, as I began to move up and down on you.

"No!" you moaned in front of our audience when we performed this act again. I'm sorry, I truly am. I remember as I slowed down and released you from my mouth to look into your eyes causing you to moan sadly at the loss of pleasure.

"Are you ready?" I purred no longer being able to wait.

"Yes," You moaned and I began preparing you for entrance. Finding your sweet spot, deep inside you and causing you more pleasure.

"No..please, Sev." You cried those months later, pleading with me.

I remember the contrasts between the next part of the two memories. Where I was gentle in the one, I was rough in the other. Where I was fast, I was slow. I remember both times as I plunged into you, feeling your warmth and tightness. As I slowly plunged into you again and again. Bringing both of us closer and closer to release.

In both memories you find that release before me. In one your content, in the other you hate yourself for it. As you found release in the second memory though, I raised the blade that I had kept hidden from you. Your eyes widen in apprehension as I plunge it deep into your chest, ripping your heart out.

I still remember that final sad look you gave me, before the blade connected with your flesh. "I still love you, Severus." You whispered.

"I love you too, Harry" I whisper back now as I plunge that same blade into my own body and into the last remaining thing of yours I have now. Your heart. I die with a bittersweet smile on my face. As now both our hearts are lost to my masters plan and we can hopefully be together again.