Miles to Go Before I Sleep
Written for the prompt : Leverage, Eliot, The woods are lovely, dark and deep./But I have promises to keep,/ And miles to go before I sleep, / And miles to go before I sleep. (Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost)
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Miles To Go Before I Sleep
It's a long time since Eliot has slept well. Guilt and fear enough to keep him on edge. He's not a man who feels safe in his line of work.
Over the years, he's adapted, learnt to fulfil his body's needs by snatching sleep in short bursts between nightmares and the need to check that no one was coming for him. It's never stopped him taking a partner into bed, he just never bothers to stay until morning. That's what makes this all so difficult now.
Now he's with someone he's got to face in the morning, someone who if he gets up and leaves is going to question his actions in person. He's balked more than once, nearly run from the meal, the apartment. There are too many questions that he doesn't want to answer but he knows that this will have to be dealt with, he's past the point of retreat and there's nowhere left to hide.
A hand wraps gently round his on the top of the table and he looks up into eyes that are soft, not judgmental, accepting. "We don't have to rush this, El."
Something inside him twists, a surge of emotion forcing its way up so he has to clamp his mouth shut and close his eyes to keep it inside. When he's back in control, he opens his eyes to see the same quiet acceptance and he's unnerved enough to suddenly blurt out, "I don't sleep much."
A tilt of the head and a raised eyebrow. "I don't stay the night either, I won't be here in the morning," he almost cringes at the defensiveness in his own voice.
"No. Maybe you didn't stay the night before, but now you do . . . Getting up is fine, coming to sit in here or potter in the kitchen is okay, but you don't leave, not without saying goodbye, not without me being awake."
"I –" he starts to object, but falls silent with the realization that he wants to do what he's being told. He wants the help to make this work.
"We'll figure it out, Eliot, and now, we're going to get some rest." With that he finds himself led away to the bedroom. It doesn't take long until they're both naked in bed and then everything slows down to some leisurely kissing and unhurried touches. There's none of the urgency that's always been there before, no sense of needing to get this done and be out of there.
They fall asleep entwined and Eliot sleeps longer than he's done in years and wakes feeling safe and wanting to stay here for as long as he can.